Who Are You Living For?
Legacy signals
Legacy popularity: 1,275 legacy views
Legacy rating: 5/5 from 1 archived votes
This is a really important (and sometimes really hard) question to answer.
In an ideal world, we are living for ourselves and only doing things that make us feel great and are on our authentic path.
But...it doesn't always work this way. It's normal to want to please others. It's normal to want to be liked. But ask yourself at what expense are you willing to sacrifice your own wants and desires to fit in.
Think of how you live and the decisions you have made and continue to make.
Are you making them based on what you think people will want or expect you to do?
Are you making them because someone else's voice (a parent, a spouse, a friend) is inside of you directing how you live?
Are you making them because you don't want to upset anyone?
Are you making them because that's how you've always done it?
And now think about how you want to live. The answers are always within us if we just take the time to listen.
As the answers come to you, write them down. And as you write them down, make sure that it is your authentic voice coming up with the answers. This is an exercise that you can keep coming back to with every part of your life - every decision, every action you make, every second of how you live your day.
Make sure you are living YOUR life - whatever that means for YOU.
There may be friction...
Sometimes when you start coming into your own power - your own authentic self - the self you know you were meant to be - friction occurs with those around you. When someone we love changes, it can sometimes be seen as threatening. It can bring up emotions, fears, and questions about our own life. This is why so many people resist it and why so many of us live lives that we know aren't our best lives - comfortable, "I'm not rocking the boat" lives. And through this process of finding your own voice, you may have to let go of the voices you have carried within you - and this may mean letting go just in your mind or letting go of that person in reality as well.
Sometimes the perceived friction is only in our heads...
We all know how active our imaginations can be. When we are consciously deciding to live our best lives, we can start imagining how rocking the boat will lead to anger, disconnect, and complete withdrawal from those we love. We just know they won't support us or understand this new person we are becoming. We get ourselves all worked up just thinking about showing them our authentic self. We are so afraid we won't be accepted. And sometimes we aren't. But more often than not, our loved ones completely support us and are completely okay with our changes. And we wonder why we were so worked up about it in the first place.
Showing ourselves and the world who we really are can be a scary, vulnerable place. But it can also be an empowering place. You get to be you - fully you.
If we stay conscious and continue to examine each moment of how we live, we will learn more and more about ourselves and get closer to living our authentic life.
Now that's worth living for!
Article author
About the Author
Jodi Chapman is the author of the inspirational blog, Soul Speak; the upcoming book, Coming Back to Life: How an Unlikely Friend Helped Me Reclaim My True Spirit; and the bestselling Soulful Jou
als series, co-authored with her amazing husband, Dan Teck. www.jodichapman.com
Further reading
Further Reading
Article
Workplace Romance - Should You Or Shouldn't You?
Dear Keith and Maura, Do you think it means anything if a guy you like at work happens to give you his cell phone number out of the blue, or if you ask that guy – joking around – if he can give you a ride home from work and he has a big grin on his face? I work at a grocery store ...
Related piece
Article
Would You Rather Be Right Or Happy?
This question was asked in one of the first self-improvement seminars we ever took, and it had quite a profound impact. It was mind-boggling to think about the amount of needless suffering we had inflicted upon ourselves in relationships, simply by being attached to our position. It must be ...
Related piece
Article
How Could This Be About Me?
Dear Keith and Maura, I just found your website and podcasts yesterday and they totally resonate with me. I am a very active youthful 55. I was widowed suddenly at 32 with 2 babies. My soulmate died and I was lost and devastated. I banged around for 10 years raising my boys, working and trying to find a similar loving relationship as I had. I met losers, liars, cheaters, alcoholics, and abusers.
Related piece
Article
The Problem With Right And Wrong
With the U.S. presidential election coming around again, there are now more and more political conversations going on around us these days, and politics – just like everything else in life – is all about relationships. You may hear people talk about ending conflicts and creating ...
Related piece