Randy Mergler
M.S. LMFT
Free
Marriage and Family Therapist, Coach and Teacher Expert
Randy Mergler Quick Facts
- Affiliation
- www.limitlessliving.org
As more and more folks are doing these days, I changed careers in mid-life. I’d worked for 15 years in veterinary medicine as a nurse anesthetist at CSU’s veterinary teaching hospital. Although I love animals and enjoyed the work, I was drawn to more closely work with people. I returned to school and became a marriage and family therapist.
Believing strongly in life-long learning, and wanting to continue stretching myself to become more compassionate, responsible and giving, I became an active student of A Course in Miracles.
I love anything outdoors and my passions are bicycling, camping, hiking and fishing. I’ve been a teacher in many venues since moving to Colorado in 1973 from my native Illinois. Accomplishments I’m proud of are that I’m a devoted father of a son and a daughter, now teenagers, and have had great relationships with both of my parents. Mom died at home with me in 2009, almost making it to 97, and Dad died 9 months earlier approaching 94. I have good genes! Spending a lot of time with them the last 5 years of their lives afforded me an opportunity to learn much about our elders and the need for changes in our society as we all age.
Loving and close relationships mean the world to me, and I’m passionate about assisting others who want the same.
Articles by this expert
SelfGrowth articles and saved writing connected to this expert.
Article
What Parents Say to Kids
What Parents Say to Kids Despite working with divorcing families for quite some time now, I’m still amazed at some of the stories I hear. Dad and the kids just returned from a week and half visit to grandma and grandpa. A great time was had by all. While the three of them were unpacking, Sis decided to call mom to see when she would pick them up. Mom’s response was that she’d had a hard week, the boss was all over her, and that she’d decided to go visit her boyfriend in Denver rather than pick them up as planned. She hoped dad would be fine watching them another day or two.
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What Kids See Onscreen Looks Terribly Real
Try and remember some of the first movies you saw as a child. What images come to mind? For many baby boomers, it might be something from Walt Disney, or perhaps the Hardy Boys. One of mine is the scene from Bambi where he is at the edge of the forest waiting for his mother who, as you remember, does not appear. As Bambi called for her, we realized she had fallen from a hunter’s bullets. I remember seeing this at a drive-in theater and crying and crying. When I think of that movie, this is always the image that comes to mind.
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Living In The Moment
My rear bumper has been ado ed with a sticker one of my kids picked out seven years ago when we brought two English Mastiff puppies, Spunknik and Tasaki, into our family. The sticker read I Love (heart actually, a drawing of a heart, you know!) My Mastiff. I used to also have one that read My Mastiff is Smarter Than Your Honor Student. I covered that one up with one urging single payer health care about a year ago after Spunk’s untimely death. Now the second sticker has been altered to read I Miss My Mastiffs. Lots. Tasaki, Spunk’s brother, died recently. Now he’s gone too.r
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Dad’s Powerful Influence
An abundance of research in the past 10 years has shown repeatedly that involved fathers play a vital role in the well being of their children. Studies have confirmed that fathers have a distinct, necessary and irreplaceable role to play in child development. Fathers bring a quality to parenting that is different than mothers, and children benefit greatly from both styles. Dads and moms are not interchangeable.
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Dad’s Broken Heart
During the many years I’ve worked with families and kids, I’ve met a lot of dads who are walking around with broken hearts. They are men who did the best they knew how to do, within their marriages, as fathers and spouses, and are now divorced. Everyone gets married with the highest hopes, and deepest sense of commitment they can muster, aiming for a lifetime together with their beloved. Most of us do the best we can with what resources and skills we bring to our relationships.r
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Letting Go (Burning Bowl)
The church I attend had a Burning Bowl ceremony this past Sunday, New Year's Eve. I'd never heard of anything like that before. It turned out to be a great idea. As the ceremony was explained, I remembered doing something similar with my two kids several years back.r
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