Browse Gratitude

Most of us have been taught that love is a commodity. Something someone either has for us or not. Something that can either be given or taken away, won or lost. Thus, we become dependent on an ‘other’ to make us feel happy and secure. But any dependency can be fraught with distress and danger, because it leaves us at the mercy of someone else for our sense of well-being. This is my definition of Conditional Love.r

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Diets don’t work. It would be great if they did. If diets worked, almost everyone with a ‘weight problem’ would have handled it by now. Because dieting is easy. Just change what you eat for a while, and presto!, the weight melts off and the body you’ve been dreaming of is yours!

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It can be scary and uncomfortable to say we’re sorry. To own up to the fact that perhaps we did something less than stellar and that it negatively impacted someone we care for. We want to just brush it under the rug. To have it let go. To not have to meet and experience the discomfort of dealing with it! But there’s an important reason to learn to address and clear conflict. It offers a truer possibility of letting it go. It completes the infraction. It allows for the re-building of trust. And it brings the relationship closer.

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Perception is a quirky thing. Because, sometimes, lurking in the not-too-hidden recesses of our minds, is a part of us that wants to keep us in pain, shame, hopelessness. And it often it does this by lying to us. Even in the face of evidence to the contrary. And we believe . . . We must learn to become mindful of its stories, and question the veracity of our thinking. So we can be happy and at peace. Living in truth. For example . . .

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What if the key to becoming ‘expecting’, was learning to practice Positive Expectancy? What might happen if, even in the face of all of life’s uncertainty, we chose to become more resilient and hopeful in our thinking? In my HypnoFertility and Conception Coaching work with women hoping to become pregnant, I am often met with a sense of urgency and despair. I hear a lot of “What if’s?” “What if I never get pregnant?” “What if it’s too late?” “What if my eggs are no longer viable?” Or worse, “What if I do get pregnant and lose the baby (again)?”

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If your upbringing was anything like mine, you probably grew up in a family where strong feelings weren’t too well-tolerated. I was told to ‘rise above’ when I was unhappy, and to ‘simmer down’ when I was having too much fun. I came to learn that in the vast continuum of emotional experience there was a narrow middle ground that was socially acceptable. Most of us know that ground as the arena of being “fine”.r

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Sometimes we get lost. In the swirl and whirl of our thoughts. In the energy of our emotions. So lost, we can find ourselves angry, hurt, terrified, bewildered, or worried and out of time, in a memory we React to as if it were real in this very moment, or a prediction of a future that terrifies. This is our imagination, and in that moment, we are our worst enemy. Because in that getting lost we forget who and where we really are, and what is really true.r

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Life is challenging. We all know that. What we don’t often know is how to manage our reactions to everyday stressors. And, in general, it is those reactions that tend to make things feel bigger and harder, or smaller and more manageable. Here are a few suggestions that might be helpful in soothing your anxiety, and putting your next challenge into a less stressful perspective.r

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A “time-out” is a guaranteed method for stopping the cycle of addictive, self-destructive behavior toward oneself, or destructive, violent behavior toward another. All is takes is contientious effort to work with yourself and a commitment to do the exercise faithfully. Whenever you begin to feel frustrated or out of control, or you feel your desire to ‘use’ arising, say to yourself or your partner: “I am beginning to feel _____ and I need to take a time-out.” The find an alte ative behavior that will help change your physical and emotional state. Go for a walk Breathe

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I recently took a trip south, having left the accumulation of snowflakes behind with the hope that all would be melted upon my return!

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1. Now is the time to be honest with yourself and others. If you're trying to revitalize yourself, you have to be honest about what is and is NOT working in your life. Self-deception is like driving around in circles: you're moving, but you're not getting anywhere. 2. The only person you can change is yourself. It's impossible to change others, so don't waste time trying. Focus on the changes YOU want to make. Focus on YOUR goals. Others will either follow your lead... or they won't.

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It seems that out of everything, comes something good. Last week I attended the funeral of my brother-in-law. During the sermon, his past life was recalled. Where he was born, his high school, his military experience, his occupation. The pastor went on to discuss the things that he enjoyed in ...

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Gratitude is a practice that becomes a habit. We learn to suspend judgement of ourselves and then others. Holding space for the awareness of grace, even when it is difficult and uncomfortable. Joy comes with/from/thru feeling all emotions, knowing we are accepted/loved in all things. I often make the comment "One DAY at a time seems overly ambitious to me.

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