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30 resources
ARTArticle***Loving Yourself When Public SpeakingBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
January 16, 2017
Has giving talks or presentations been scary for you? Discover why and what to do about it.
Michael, one of my clients, asked me for help in one of our phone sessions:ARTArticle***Loving Yourself When You Feel LonelyBy Margaret Paul, PhDr
December 13, 2016
Loneliness has much information for us when we open to it rather than judge it or avoid it with various addictions.
One of the saddest and most dysfunctional aspects of our current culture is that it fosters loneliness. It's not hard to imagine that when most people lived in tribes or small villages, loneliness was not the epidemic that it currently is.ARTArticle***Loving Yourself When You Feel RejectedBy Margaret Paul, PhDr
November 22, 2016
Do you know how love yourself when you feel rejected? Start learning how now!
What do you generally do when you feel rejected? If you're like most people, you either try to control the rejecting person, or you take it out on yourself with various avoidant and controlling behaviors.
When you try to control the other person, do you try to control by:
* Getting angry, defending, complaining, blaming?
* People-pleasing, complying, giving yourself up?
* Shutting down, withdrawing?
* Threatening violence or exposure?ARTArticle***Loving Yourself: A Path To ManifestationBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
January 03, 2017
Discover how loving yourself can not only lead to the manifestation of your dreams, it can also lead to manifesting kindness and caring on our planet.
"Great hearts steadily send forth the secret forces that incessantly draw great events." – Ralph Waldo Emersonr
If great hearts draw great events, and therefore support our ability to manifest, then what creates a great heart?rARTArticle***Managing Challenging FamiliesSometimes the most loving act, both for yourself and for others, is to disengage from an abusive family relationship. This can eventually lead to some healing.
We all know that families can be very challenging!ARTArticle***Managing The Heartbreak of Not Being Seen or HeardBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
May 02, 2016
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Learn to manage the shattering heartbreak of when someone doesn't grok you – doesn't see you, hear you or understand you.
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Take a few minutes right now and think back to your childhood. Do you remember a time when you felt deeply unseen, unheard, misunderstood?ARTArticle***Moving Beyond Emotional DependencyAre you ready to be your own person? Are you ready to move beyond neediness and into emotional freedom? Are you ready to stop needing others to make you feel that you are okay? Are you ready to learn to fill yourself with love and define your own worth?
I hope so! Being emotionally dependent is a very hard way to live.ARTArticle***Relationship Advice: Are You Giving To Get Love?By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
July 04, 2016
Are you giving love to your partner or others for the joy of giving, or are you giving to get love, attention or approval?
I received the following email, asking for my help:ARTArticle***Relationship Advice: Resolving Conflict When Someone Is ClosedBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
April 04, 2016
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Learn how to resolve conflict when your partner or another person isn't available for mutual conflict resolution.
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July 18, 2016
If your relationships are challenging, you might want to gain awareness and understanding of the taker-caretaker relationship system.
As we all know, relationships are generally very challenging, and one of the reasons is that we bring into our Taker or Caretakeradult relationships all the controlling behavior we learned as we were growing up. And we all did learn many overt and subtle ways to control!ARTArticle***Relationships: When Is It Okay To Call It Quits?By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
October 10, 2016
Do you feel ready to leave your relationship but wonder whether or not this is the right time to call it quits?
Many of my clients struggle with knowing when it's the right time to end a relationship.
Mary asked me:ARTArticle***Resistance to Gratitude: Why Isn't The Law of Attraction Working for Me?Most of us know that expressing heartfelt gratitude is a powerful way to raise our frequency and connect with our spiritual Guidance. Yet many people rarely or never express gratitude, and when they do, it is more rote than truly heartfelt.
In a phone session with Deb, one of my clients, we were talking about this very issue. She was telling me how much trouble she has ever feeling gratitude.ARTArticle***Resisting HappinessAre you stuck in misery? Do you resist taking responsibility for making yourself happy? Discover a possible cause of this.
One of the issues I frequently encounter with my clients is the following:
Sasha is in a long-term, on-again, off-again, relationship with Fabio. When Sasha is taking loving care of herself, the relationship goes well, but as soon as she makes Fabio responsible for her feelings, Fabio goes into resistance and their relationship goes into turmoil.ARTArticle***Romance And The Power Of HugsBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Hugs can be romantic or disconnecting, depending on your intent in hugging.
Has the romance gone out of your relationship? Has work and/or parenthood left you no time for romance, connection and intimacy?
A major challenge for parents, especially new parents, is finding the time to be together in ways that foster romance in their relationship. A question that a reader recently asked me is: "Is it the quality of time versus the quantity of time that is significant in 'we-time'?"ARTArticle***Self-love or Narcissism?________________________________________
Discover that self-love and narcissism are actually opposites!
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It's interesting to me how often people confuse self-love with narcissism – because they are actually opposites in many ways.ARTArticle***Self-Love vs. Selfless LoveIs there a difference between loving yourself and loving others, or are they one and the same?
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Have you ever been confused about the boundary between loving yourself and also being loving to others?ARTArticle***Speaking Up For Your Inner ChildBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Do you speak up for your inner child – your feeling self – when someone is judgmental toward you, or they are blaming you or discounting you?
What do you generally do when you are in an interaction with someone and you are feeling anxious, scared or lonely from the interaction?ARTArticle***Staying Connected As A Loving Adult In The Face Of ConflictHave you found it hard to stay open in the face of conflict? Does your wounded self quickly take over, and your conflict resolution skills disappear?
Allison asked me the following question:
"I practice Inner Bonding when I feel I need it. I basically feel connected and when something is going on I sit down to do it. My question is, in the heat of the moment I feel wounded and find it hard to communicate effectively. When I take care of it later I get grounded and feel ok. Can you please share advice on how to connect to my loving adult self in the split second of active conflict?"ARTArticle***Superheroes vs. Underminers: Are You Supporting Your Personal Power?Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
February 29, 2016
Are there people in your life and wounded parts of yourself who want to limit you from being in your personal power?
How many of you had the experience growing up of being told in various ways to not claim your personal power and instead limit yourselves from being all you can be?
Do you remember the cartoon movie "The Incredibles"? This older movie is a wonderful metaphor for this. In The Incredibles, the superheroes - those with extraordinary powers - are restricted from using their powers.ARTArticle***Sustaining Love: The Importance Of Emotional IntimacyBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
September 12, 2016
Emotional intimacy is essential for sustaining love in a committed relationship. Discover how to create and nourish this deep connection.
Loving coupleThink back to times you felt 'in love.' Aside from chemistry, what was it that drew you to the other person? Usually, my clients say things like:
"We talked for hours on our first date."
"We felt an immediate connection with each other, like we've always known each other."
"At the beginning of our relationship, we could talk about everything."ARTArticle***The Aftermath of a Relationship with a NarcissistBy Margaret Paul Ph.D.
February 22, 2016
Have you been in love with a narcissist? Are you now going through pain and confusion as a result of the relationship ending?ARTArticle***The Art of Manifestation: When It Is Loving to Be ControllingIs it loving or unloving to be controlling? It all depends on your intent, on which part of you is trying to control, and what you are trying to control.
When Controlling is UnlovingARTArticle***The Circle of Love: The Highest Experience in LifeA circle of love is the result of people being together with open hearts, and is the most wonderful experience in life.
Have you ever experienced a circle of love?ARTArticle***The Fear of Being ExcludedBy Margaret Paul, Ph. D.
February 01, 2016
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You CAN heal a fear of being excluded and rejected!
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Many of us grew up experiencing, in one way or another, the pain of being excluded. Perhaps you felt excluded at home – by parents or siblings, or with friendships at school or outside of school. As a child, being excluded is deeply crushing. Children don’t have the ability to not take things personally, so being excluded likely contributes to our shame and insecurity.ARTArticle***The Gifts Of Laughter And TearsBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
May 23, 2016
When you do not allow yourself to express yourself with laughter and tears, physical pain, due to stress and a lack of passion for life, may be the result.ARTArticle***The Greatest Joy in Life_______________________________________________________
There are many experiences that create momentary happiness, but there is only one experience that is truly the greatest joy in life.
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Take a moment to think about what you believe is the greatest joy in life.ARTArticle***The High Cost of Physical Self-AbandonmentIf you are not conce
ed with your physical self-care, have you ever considered the high cost to those around you?
I was sitting in the airport at my gate in Chicago, on my way home from the East Coast, having just completed a wonderful Inner Bonding weekend workshop at Kripalu in Lenox, MA. A very obese woman, who was obviously not at all well, sat down across from me, and was then attended to by another woman and by her husband, who was also not well.ARTArticle***The Lies We Tell OurselvesBy Dr. Margaret Paulr
June 27, 2016
Our emotions are an accurate indication of when we are in truth and when we are lying to ourselves.
Believe it or not, one of the great gifts we were born with is our emotions. Our emotions infallibly let us know when we are operating from the truth and when we are telling ourselves lies. When we are in truth, we feel clear, connected, happy, peaceful, powerful and joyful. When we are lying to ourselves – operating from our false beliefs - we feel anxious, tense, depressed, scared, powerless, angry, empty, hopeless, alone and abandoned.ARTArticle***The Power of Tears"Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart don't know how to laugh either." - Golda Meir
Do you have a lid on your tears? Do you also have a hard time laughing with your whole body?
Our tears are a God-given way of expressing sadness, just as laughter is a God-given way of expressing fun and joy. Both laughter and tears release stress in loving ways, rather than having to release it through anger or through holding it in your body, which can eventually cause physical pain and illness.ARTArticle***Trusting Others Starts With Self-Trust_______________________________________________________
We want to be able to trust others to be honest and reliable. Yet are you honest and reliable with yourself? Do you trust your own inner knowing? You will not be able to trust others until you are trustworthy with yourself.
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"I have a hard time trusting people."
"I never feel like I can trust my husband (or wife)."