Browse Blended Families

Adele Cornish is an author, speaker and International Blended Family Advisor. She has spent years utilising her social work background to extensively research and address the unique challenges blended families face. Adele has used this knowledge and her experience to develop a program that currently teaches practical…

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ABOUT BLACKWELL FAMILY RESOURCES, LLC: A family coaching and consulting firm specializing in step parenting. Our coach guides parents through one of life's most complex transitions: blending families. We help our clients create a family plan that is based on the developmental needs of their children.We respect parent'…

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DAN & REBECCA SNELL, Founders of THE BONDED FAMILY, seek to serve families visiting SelfGrowth.com via a faith-based national organization that offers resources for Blended Families. Having personally faced the highs and lows of blended family life, they felt led that their God-given purpose was to rise above self an…

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A NEW STEPPARENTING SUPPORT GROUP IS NOW FORMING. PLEASE CALL 858 259-0146 FOR MORE INFORMATION My private practice includes adults, couples, adolescents, and groups. As a clinical psychologist, my approach incorporates talking therapy, the neuroscience of emotion and mindfulness, mind/body approaches, personality te…

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Greetings, As a stepmom, birth mom, and Certified Stepfamily Counsellor I understand the unique joys and challences confronting stepmoms today. The stepfamily journey is fraught with confusing, painful, unexpected twists and turns. It is easy to get lost in the maze of stepfamily dynamics. Combining my intimate know…

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I’m always full of crazy ideas. Most recently, I woke up one morning and decided to write an electronic book and sell it on the internet. Sounds simple, right? The book is phenomenal. “99 Things To Do With Your Stepkids (when they don’t live with you)” was so much fun to write, and people who have bought it actually…

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I’m Gerardo Campbell a stepfather veteran of 16+ years. In 1995, when I married the “Pretty Lady” and I became the stepfather to her two children ages 10 and 14 at the time. Back in 1995, there was little, if any, resources, information or coaching available for stepfathers. I became a stepfather equipped with the ver…

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Jill Darcey (Author, Parent, Founder & Speaker), a mother of three; thousands of hours in counseling and coaching; and more than a decade of Complex Family parenting (ie. a family touched by separation, divorce or some form of family breakdown). Jill has both experience and wisdom; she's learned a lot of what does and…

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Lisa Perry is the owner of Wellness Life skills coaching and is passionate about - and dedicated to - empowering families and the lives of children. With her experience as a child of divorce and now part of a blended family, she has added her unique perspective to her coaching programs and founded The Well Blended Fam…

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Ron L. Deal is Founder and President of Successful Stepfamilies, one of the largest and most visited web sites for blended families on the internet. He is author of the bestselling book The Smart Stepfamily: Seven Steps to a Healthy Family and presents his “laugh and learn” Building A Successful Stepfamily conference…

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Shirley Cress Dudley is a licensed professional counselor and nationally certified counselor with a master's degree in Marriage and Family Counseling and a master's degree in Education. Shirley is also the founder of The Blended and Step Family Resource Center and author of Blended Family Advice (Xlibris 2009) She ha…

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Yvonne has her Masters in Social Work and is also a Certified Stepfamily Counsellor. Prior to setting up her own family practice, she worked in a variety of capacites as a community develpment worker, children and youth advocate and as a project coordinator in several health promotion initiatives at the school and com…

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1-You and your spouse have clear house rules that apply to all family members Yes, this means that house rules don’t change when you are tired, or your spouse is out of town. Both biological children and stepchildren all follow the same rules. It really does help when the parents also follow the same rules.

Published · 2,446 views · Rated 3/5 from 4 votes

When you remarried and became a step parent you probably didn't realize how hard it would be to be a parent to a child that was not your own. It's tough- really tough,and you rarely receive any praise or thanks. You want to keep your spouse happy, their kids happy, your kids happy (if you have some biological kids) and usually anyone else that comes within 3 feet of you happy.

Published · 2,155 views · Rated 3/5 from 3 votes

You and your new spouse have married and blended your two families. Your parents are happy for you but unsure how to treat this new additions to the family. Here's a few golden rules to help them figure out how to respond to your newly blended family: 1- Treat every child the samer Treat your step grandkids as if they were all your biological grandchildren. They are waiting and watching to see if you will be fair to all.

Published · 5,064 views · Rated 4/5 from 2 votes

Two adults marry and bring children into the new marriage. Some of these families get along wonderfully, and some families, who have been blended for years never accept each other as family. Here are some reasons a blended family may stay incompatible and not blend. The couple has children over 21: It’s possible that the family doesn’t “blend” because the children have moved out on their own and are starting their own families. That’s O.K., as long as there is respect for the new stepparent, as their parent’s spouse.

Published · 9,319 views · Rated 4/5 from 2 votes

1-All contact should be kept to a minimum One phone call a day is excessive, several text messages a day is extremely excessive. If you have a subject related to the kids- speak briefly and clearly about your expectations. Emails are better than phone calls, if your issue is not an emergency. 2- Contact ex only when it related to the kidsr You no longer have a relationship with this person, except that he or she is the other parent of your children. Your only relationship is one of co-parenting.

Published · 5,272 views · Rated 2.5/5 from 4 votes

Whether you realize it or not, you have a set of assumptions about how to cook your blended family. By that, I mean your approach to how your stepfamily ‘ought’ to come together. Brenda was cooking her family with a blender. “It happened again the other night,” she began. “My 14 ...

Published · 2,809 views

Blended families are often torn apart by between-home conflicts while children are caught in the middle of warring parents. Strengthen your blended family by improving your co-parenting relationship. The goal of co-parenting (at a minimum) is to contain the anger and conflict expressed between ...

Published · 3,810 views · Rated 4/5 from 2 votes

Family life is full of challenges and rewards. Stepfamily life is no different. Sarah knows just what I mean: “My first marriage to John was a battle from the day it started. I wanted romance and an intimate union; he wanted independence and freedom. He finally found it with another woman. ...

Published · 1,762 views

“What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, and lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies.” ~Rudolph Giuliani “The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is that they have a common enemy.” ~Sam Levenson “Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild”. ~Welsh Proverb

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Okay I’m going to sound a bit like your mother today . . . because I’m ranting! But here goes: Here are the facts: the divorce rate is down, but so is the marriage rate. We’re still having babies. We are up to nearly 41% statistically, of children born to unwed mothers today. Less divorces, less marriages, lots of single parent households. Let’s face it, we are not afraid to have a family . . .we have become a nation afraid to get married!

Published · 2,382 views

Studies are showing that with today's economic environment, people have been working so hard, that putting food on the table has been more important than nurturing their relationships.

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Some marriages work and some don’t. After divorce, people begin to TRY to decipher the difference so we don’t make the same “mistakes” when we re-marry! So what is the difference between couples that make it through the challenges of life and those that don’t? Discover the 3 core elements that need to be present in order for a marriage to sustain the pressures of life!

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“You’re not my mom!” Have you ever heard that one?? While my kids may not have said those words exactly, the message was there in other things they said or in ways they acted.

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This is one of the most common comments heard when talking with people about an Ex. Those of us who are parents and inside a Complex Family often have an Ex, and we normally believe it is near impossible to get on with them. Let's face it, it didn't work when we were married or partners, so why would it now? But it needs too - if only for the kid's sake!

Published · 2,954 views · Rated 2/5 from 4 votes

We are all inspired at one time or another to embrace the vision and dream of world peace. We love what opportunities this brings and we dream of a world where we move beyond a fear and engage in the concept of difference not being judged, but rather celebrated. We become excited by the chances of pooling resources to solve basic human existence issues - that could all easily be funded by the redundancy of weapons and the banishment of immoral political power.

Published · 2,287 views · Rated 2/5 from 4 votes

When the rest of the world is reporting financial doom and gloom, what do our teens think? In a generation which we see more and more young people struggling with hopelessness, is this media frenzy really helping?

Published · 2,743 views · Rated 2/5 from 5 votes

Speaking poorly of your child's other parent is one of the largest issues overlooked by co-parents - and yet it is one of the easiest for you to resolve. The reasons (or should I say excuses) that it is acceptable to slag off about your Ex to your children are numerous and yet the confusion that it causes in their life is immeasurable.

Published · 2,742 views · Rated 1.8/5 from 5 votes

Statistically, the effects of divorce on our society are difficult to prove although there are figures bandied around. What we do know is that some people go on and have far better lives and some don't. For majority however, we can say divorce carved its mark on our life and we live with it for the rest of our days - for better or worse.

Published · 2,403 views · Rated 1.8/5 from 6 votes

I believe most of us have what it takes to be genuinely great parents; regardless if we have been separated, divorced or attempting to co-parent. More often than not, it is through our efforts to juggle an already rather hectic lifestyle that we neglect some of the most crucial aspects of parenting. Beyond the basic requirements of love, nurturing, food, clothing, shelter, and education, the next layer involves four key elements. These four key elements are: Time, Structure, Stimulation, and Protection. Today's article is to look at Time.

Published · 2,454 views · Rated 1.8/5 from 4 votes

The choice is yours ... this is how you make it. The importance of the choices you make when your marriage ends through which children were born into this world, becomes more apparent as time continues to march forward. Each step takes us down one of two pathways - acrimony or harmony. Time would have us believe it heals or erodes our chances for change, however mercifully, we are still granted our freedom of choice. This choice is where we choose to have the best relationship with our Ex as possible at any time - and now is that time.

Published · 2,008 views · Rated 2/5 from 4 votes

It's normal, it's real, and it's understandable ... so what's the answer? We all think it - and most of us say it when we share children with an Ex who has a new partner. The phrase 'the kids are with me or you - but not her' is equally valid when read "but not him" in place of her however 'her' just seems to be more common so for simplicity sake, I'll write with framing our stepmothers but this certainly does not exclude stepfathers.

Published · 2,099 views · Rated 2.5/5 from 8 votes

The Birds, the Bees, and Blended Families Dear Dr. Weiss-Wisdom My boyfriend and I are both divorced with children. We want to get married but we’re nervous about how to make it work. We both had terrible marriages the first go around. Now things will be even more challenging with the complication of blending our families. What are some things that we can do that will increase our odds for success? - Nervous to wed again Dear Nervous, Your conce is understandable.

Published · 4,541 views · Rated 2/5 from 2 votes

The Birds, the Bees, and Blended Families Handling a Sensitive Situation Dear Dr. Weiss-Wisdom, My father has been married numerous times and he consistently has terrible taste in women. Most recently, I ran into my current “stepmother” at a restaurant having a romantic dinner with another man. They were all cuddled up and kissing in a dark corner of the place and she didn’t notice me there. I thought long and hard about whether I should mention it to my father. I’ve never liked her and always thought she was a gold-digger.

Published · 2,558 views · Rated 2/5 from 2 votes

Dear Dr. Weiss-Wisdom, My wife and I have been married for two years. She has children from a previous marriage. Since, I don’t have any children, I was hoping to be a father figure to her kids. But it just hasn’t worked out that way. They reject any of my attempts to discipline them and that’s probably because my wife doesn’t support me. Instead she protects them and says I’m too hard on them. When the kids are with their Dad we get along great. It’s like we fall in love all over again. But when the kids are around, she and I feel alienated from each other.

Published · 4,244 views · Rated 3/5 from 2 votes

The Birds, the Bees, and Blended Families Dear Dr. Weiss-Wisdom, This is my second marriage and it’s the second marriage for my husband too. My first husband was very good looking and we had great chemistry. I was very attracted to him but within a couple of years it was clear that we were poorly matched. After the divorce, I decided to find someone who could be a great friend and life companion; this was more important than looks or sexual chemistry. So now I’m married to a man who shares my values and interests. We have a great time together.

Published · 2,352 views · Rated 3/5 from 2 votes

7 Thorny Questions to Consider You have enjoyed the romance and the commitment between yourself and your companion is steadily deepening. You have now reached the point where the two of you begin talking about how you will introduce your children to your companion. Are you single parent getting married, a divorced mom getting remarried, or a widow with adult children? These 7 critical questions will help raise your awareness of the issues to consider. The next 7 steps will set the tone for the relationship between your children and their future stepdad.

Published · 2,750 views · Rated 2/5 from 4 votes

Marriage in a Rut Dear Dr. Diana

Published · 1,476 views · Rated 1/5 from 3 votes

Dear Dr. Diana, Last year, the holidays were a time of great sadness for me. It was the first Christmas and New Year that I have experienced on the heels of a terrible divorce. I was in love with my husband and didn’t want the divorce. A couple of months ago I started feeling better tha I had in a long time, just getting used to my life as a single person. But now, as the holidays draw near, I’ve got a terrible case of the blues again. What can I do? Singing the Blues Dear Singing,

Published · 1,456 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

Dear Dr. Weiss-Wisdom, I’m so discouraged with my marriage that I almost don’t care anymore. I stayed in my first marriage because of the kids and now I’m remarried and doing the same thing again. I have two teenagers from my first marriage and a five year old now with my second wife. It’s probably my fault because my second marriage is turning out exactly like my first. We have a cold war. We don’t see eye to eye on anything and we’ve become like roommates. Other than not wanting to disrupt the kids’ lives again, there’s nothing really keeping me here.

Published · 2,193 views · Rated 2.2/5 from 6 votes

Isn’t it Time to Stop the Bio- Mother ~ Stepmother Animosity? Your stepchild’s Bio-Mom (BM) will always be a part of your life. Over the years you will both attend graduations, sporting events, family celebrations, marriages, births, grandchildren, illness or death of a mutually loved relative and so. Stepmoms (SM) will share all this and more with their stepchild's BM.

Published · 3,484 views · Rated 5/5 from 2 votes

Many couples make the mistake of thinking their stepfamily is no different from the traditional or first family unit. Failing to have a solid understanding of the significant differences between the two usually creates massive conflict and confusion. Traditional families are born out of love, hope, and have strong biological and legal ties. The adults have time during the honeymoon period to establish family values, norms, roles and responsibilities, and to build a strong couple identity and relationship.

Published · 2,588 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

Dear Dr. Weiss-Wisdom, My thirty-two year old stepson has hit some hard times and has had to move in with us. He lost his job, lost his condo in foreclosure, and his girlfriend broke up with him. I’m very worried about him, but my husband thinks he has to just tough it out. My stepson stays ...

Published · 1,984 views · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

Dear Dr. Weiss-Wisdom, I’m living with my boyfriend who has two kids under eleven years old. What do I do if I don’t like his kids? They are lazy and watch a lot of T.V.-even during the daytime. They don’t pick up after themselves or have any chores. I feel like I’m the maid! When I talk ...

Published · 2,213 views · Rated 2/5 from 1 votes

Dear Dr. Weiss-Wisdom, I’m worried that my sixteen year old stepdaughter’s depression is affecting my fifteen year old daughter. My stepdaughter is in treatment (therapy and antidepressants). Her parents say that she is better than she was before treatment and they are all happy with her ...

Published · 2,432 views · Rated 2/5 from 1 votes

How Can I Forgive him? On Blended Families Dear Dr. Weiss-Wisdom, My marriage of eighteen years ended three years ago because my husband had an affair with another woman. At first, I tried to forgive him and work the marriage out because we have a daughter together. But he lied again and I ...

Published · 1,630 views

Political Differences in A Family Dear Dr. Diana,

Published · 1,915 views · Rated 2/5 from 1 votes

Does My Daughter Need Therapy? Dear Dr. Diana

Published · 1,647 views · Rated 3.5/5 from 2 votes

Hope for Marriage This summer we held our first Keeping Love Alive Marriage Retreat at The Cottage Clinic. It was one of the best experiences of my life. The experiential two and ½ day workshop was based on the best selling book, ‘Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love,’ by Sue Johnson. The program presents a streamlined version of Emotionally Focused Couples therapy, an empirically proven approach to creating adult loving relationships – it has a 70-75% success rate for couples!

Published · 1,277 views

Hope for Marriage This summer we held our first Keeping Love Alive Marriage Retreat at The Cottage Clinic. It was one of the best experiences of my life. The experiential two and ½ day workshop was based on the best selling book, ‘Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love,’ by Sue Johnson. The program presents a streamlined version of Emotionally Focused Couples therapy, an empirically proven approach to creating adult loving relationships – it has a 70-75% success rate for couples!

Published · 1,164 views

I'd like to firstly take your attention for a few minutes while I answer a really important question that I've been asked ... "Are my children meant to have one or two homes now we're divorced?" It's strange that this is one of the most confusing for parents to come to terms with - and yet it's not. What you're about to learn is going to give you the opportunity to understand more about your Ex - and while that may not really seem that important to you - it is to your children.

Published · 1,496 views

Empty Nesters Dear Dr. Diana

Published · 1,609 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

Do you find it takes time for your children to settle in when they come back from your Ex's place? If you're like me, sometimes I wonder what goes on there that means they have to change so much. I mean, they've only been away a weekend and yet it feels like I get completely different children back. I've then got to start again on the 'house rules' and try and get them to settle again. Does this sound like you too?

Published · 1,586 views · Rated 1.8/5 from 4 votes

Albert Einstein when asked of "Relativity" answered with this. "Relativity: An hour sitting with a pretty girl on a park bench passes like a minute, but a minute sitting on a hot stove seems like an hour." So what does this have to do with your Ex showing up late? Don't we all know how long 10 minutes can be when you're the one who's doing the waiting ... and also how quickly it flies by when you're running late!

Published · 1,682 views · Rated 1.5/5 from 2 votes

Dear Dr. Diana, I read your article about cheating last week. Why do married men say they want to meet someone? I’ve been with a married man for two years now only because he is the someone that I have always wanted. He told me he was falling in love with me and then after 16 months I asked do you love me and he said "I CAN'T" What does that mean? I’m thinking about moving away to get out of the situation. If men say they are unhappy why don’t they leave? - The other woman Dear Other Woman,r

Published · 1,549 views

If you dread handovers - you're not alone. If you are frustrated because you've managed to get your kids to tidy up the house before the Ex comes to collect them, and before you know it, they're sick of waiting so it's once again transformed into the bomb-site it was only half an hour ago ... you're reading the right stuff then. It's so annoying that your Ex can still make it rain on your sunny day through a single quick remark that's just thrown in at the handovers.

Published · 4,590 views · Rated 1.5/5 from 2 votes

Do you dream of the moment when you can have a bath undisturbed, or go out somewhere (anywhere, you're not fussy!) without taking an hour to get everyone into the car? That time has come ... you've got a weekend to yourself and ... Instead, you can't decide what to do! You want to make the most of it because, WOW, you don't get these so it's more important you make great choices now than ever! You've waited so long for free time, you're not even sure what to do with free time now...

Published · 1,802 views · Rated 1.5/5 from 2 votes

Why do you want to spend less time with your children when growing up happens so quickly these days? Don't you look back on how many years have gone already and wonder how it's passed so fast?! And to think you've got to spend less time with your children because your Ex wants them, is gut-wrenching to most of us. Divorce hurts - it hurts us in different ways, but it hurts us all the same!

Published · 1,985 views · Rated 1.5/5 from 2 votes

Losing a loved one to suicide is devastating for family, friends, and can reverberate through a community. We wonder if we should have seen the signs and if there was anything that we could have done to help them. In the United States today, suicide is the eleventh most common cause of death. There are currently over 32,000 suicides annually in the USA – nearly twice the number of homicides; that is approximately 91 per day. Men make up 79% of all suicides in the U.S while women and teens make more suicide attempts.

Published · 1,937 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

Many questions have been coming in about the biggies. So what are the biggies? It's the problems that people are having with their Ex's over issues like geographical differences. The emotional differences between the two houses and what you're meant to do about it. And, of course, money ... there always has to be money! I've decided to work on answering as much of this as practical in this email, without making it so huge, you'll switch off anyway. First up, let's look at two geographical questions that I've received:

Published · 1,873 views · Rated 1.5/5 from 2 votes

The Birds, the Bees, and Blended Familiesr When Is It Cheating? Dear Dr. Diana, Unfortunately for my children and me, after ten years of marriage, I found out that my husband finds monogamy boring. He believes that all relationships get stale over time and that it’s only natural to wander. He was a good father and a good provider and he wanted me to look the other way to his indiscretions. We divorced two years ago due to irreconcilable differences.r

Published · 1,615 views · Rated 1/5 from 1 votes

Most parents put their hand up and say, "Yes, me too!" Exhausted from a day of nagging, yelling and demanding your children do things faster, better, or do something at all, you flop into bed and wish for more peace in home. With your head chu ing, you long for a better way to do things and hope for a little courage so you can try harder tomorrow.

Published · 1,575 views · Rated 2/5 from 4 votes

In our busy and harried lives, it can be difficult to make the time to stop and really ask yourself, “What is important in life?” I’m not talking about the importance of deciding what’s for dinner tonight, or even how you’re going to get this current project done at work. I’m talking a little bigger in scale. The sad truth is, we tend to just focus on what’s right in front of us when we’re rushed. But living your life like this is what leads to feeling like you wasted precious time when things slow down a little (and yes – they will).

Published · 1,201 views

Our spiritual life is often see as a taboo subject in “polite company”, but why? Because we have differing opinions? Because it’s a topic people feel strongly about? Sure. But I take a different approach. I think it’s something that needs to be discussed more. It’s only in sharing this intimate part of our lives that we can grow and learn more. We are spiritual beings living in a physical body. Our self care routines must include taking care of that spiritual essence just as much as preserving our physical bodies.

Published · 1,267 views

Peace of mind can come from all sorts of places, but it definitely doesn’t come from assuming things about other people. We jump to conclusions all the time when it comes to people. These assumptions can get us in all sorts of problems. One of the most common errors is assuming someone is or will be disappointed in you. The difficulty with this assumption is that it puts a lot of pressure on you. This fear of disappointing others forces us to spend a lot of time and energy trying to keep people happy. This one can put you over the edge with exhaustion.

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We’re continuing our discussion of successful ways to achieve what’s truly important to you. Rather than just focusing on set tasks and trying to push your way through, I’ve been sharing the importance of being a different you prior to starting the tasks. This week, I want to talk about confidence. It’s essential if you’re going to succeed at a new endeavor. But – I can see the quizzical look on your face right now, as you’re wondering, how to build confidence? Isn’t just an innate characteristic? No! Not even close! C’mon let me show you… How to Build Confidence – Tip #1

Published · 1,347 views

Ever assumed someone’s mad or going to be mad at you? C’mon – we both know you have. How can I say that with certainty? Because ALL of us do that! It’s human nature. We want our interactions to go smoothly with others. But life’s not perfect and it never will be.

Published · 1,758 views · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

As you look at setting different goals in life, I want to encourage you to look at who you need to be rather than just what you need to do. Behavioral changes alone, don’t last. It’s only when we make real, internal changes in who we are that change is maintained. A critical aspect is making sure you’re being authentic. Being “authentic” means that you are genuine and real, not just with others but also yourself. Why is this important when setting goals in life? I’m glad you asked… You take personal responsibility

Published · 1,348 views

This month we’re going to take a good look at the Vibrantly Live principle of self-care. Specifically, I want to focus on something we use constantly, and say we never have enough of – ENERGY! I’m going to be discussing 4 different types this month; your physical, emotional, spiritual and mental energy. All are important. All require nurturing in a different way. Yes, you’re busy, but are you being effective? That’s the bigger question.

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Everyday life can drain our physical energy, leaving us fatigued. But emotional energy is rather different. It is more a sense of happiness and hopefulness. This week I want to look at 3 different ways to be happy more often and boost your emotional energy.

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Happy New Year! Can you believe it’s 2014? With the New Year, many people start wondering how to really achieve goals that are important to them. How about you? Are you ready to make a change or content to just continue floating along? This month, as we focus on the Vibrantly Live principle of Define What’s Truly Important & Why, I want to share with you an often overlooked necessity when it comes to making real change in your life.

Published · 1,287 views

This month, I’ll be covering 3 different ways to be happy in the different relationships in your life. It’s something all of us want, but it’s not always the easiest thing to achieve. Why is that? I believe it’s due to assumptions we make. We’re so quick to assume things – a look means “this”, a tone of voice means “that”. But we could be totally off. Unfortunately, because it becomes our perspective of the situation, it becomes our “truth”, when in reality it could be flat out wrong.

Published · 1,325 views · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

With all the responsibilities we have, wanting a little more peace of mind is a given. But sometimes we don’t have time to even eat! Where will we find time to boost our mental energy? Before you go into panic mode and wish for extra hours in a day, let’s take a step back. Making sure your mind is clear from clutter allows you to focus on the most important things, making you more productive, thus able to get more done in the amount of time you have.

Published · 1,289 views

To have meaningful relationships we need to feel safe enough to be our true, authentic self. This is why one of the best relationship advice ideas I can offer you is to beware of judging others or assuming someone’s judging you. They tend to go hand in hand. If you’re a rather judgmental person, it’s only natural for you to assume others are the same way. If you’re critiquing everyone else’s hair, outfits and relationships – then your perspective will be that everyone else must be doing that too.

Published · 1,298 views

I had a difficult decisio I was struggling with last month. I kept spinning my wheels going round and round trying to make a decision about moving forward. I kept lamenting: “How can I build confidence in making this decision?” I was stuck in this cycle for over 2 months. I’d been actively praying for direction, and little things had happened to show me I was on track.

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I hear from the women I work with that they just want more of a life of peace rather than all the craziness they experience. What they’re referring to is that they don’t want the rushed, exhausting and stressed out feelings they carry around daily. Sounds good, doesn’t it? But at the same time a lot of women think of peace as the ability to sleep, not do anything and just rest.

Published · 1,308 views · Rated 4/5 from 1 votes

Last month I had the privilege of attending a conference with 500 other entrepreneurial women from around the world. We were there to focus on developing a life of purpose to serve in a greater way. It was an incredible experience, being in an environment with all of these other powerful women who are charging ahead, through their own fears and doubts, to make this world a better place.

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Most of the women I work with would easily admit they feel blessed. Their daily needs are met and they have loving people in their life. So why is the question of how to change your life a common one among them? It’s because the women I work with are striving to go beyond just “getting through” their days, and instead, really want to live!

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Leaving a legacy we can be proud of is a huge part of the mission of Vibrantly Live. Part of doing that is teaching the importance of self-care not only for us, as moms, but also for our children. Self-care allows you to be in the right frame of mind to handle life’s every day stressors. If you’re stressed out, exhausted or over-committed just the slightest change of plans can just about send you over the edge!!! C’mon – I know I’m not the only one. :)

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Have you ever realized how hard it is to take care of you when you don’t make it a priority? There’s always “stuff” to be done. Kids need rides. The house gets dirty. Groceries get eaten. But what about you? How much do you make taking care of you a priority? It needs to be a conscious decision or it flat out won’t happen! Something more important will come up. I’ve written volumes about the importance of self-care here and how it’s not a selfish act, so I won’t beat that dead horse again.

Published · 1,397 views · Rated 4/5 from 2 votes

I will be the first to admit that self-care does not come natural for me! I am your “Type A, push through ‘til you drop, make it perfect or else” – kinda girl! Grasping the importance of self-care is something I’ve had to learn. I usually do a pretty good job with it, because I’ve learned (the hard way) that it’s a necessity if I’m going to be the mom, wife and overall person I want to be. But…. I still have my moments.

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Peace of mind often feels like a pipe dream that other people get to experience. But that doesn’t have to be YOUR reality! It is possible to experience it on a regular basis. You’re probably asking, “How?” about this time, aren’t you? Peace of mind will never be a reality if you don’t seriously commit to a regular practice of self-care. I know, I know – “Who has time for that!!??” But hold on there – I want to challenge that thinking just a little. Who DOESN’T have time for that!?

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“Is it even possible to achieve life & work balance?” bemoaned a client of mine a few months ago. She was running herself ragged trying to juggle about 15 plates at once. She’d hit a wall and wasn’t even sure where to go from here. She was exhausted, short-tempered with just about everyone she cared about, doing a rotten job at work and anxious a lot of the time. Best of all…She was done living like this and ready to make a change! Music to my ears!! ï This is what I love to do!

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I work with women every week who claim that having a life of peace is their biggest priority. “A life of peace” doesn’t make for the best goal though. It’s not real specific. What’s that look like – really? I get it; they’re tired of the rushing, running, demands, difficult relationships and exhaustion. But if you can’t get clearer tha “more peace”, you’re not going to go far.

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Ok, I admit it! I’m not perfect! Whew – I feel better getting that off my chest! Sometimes I feel a lot of pressure to seem like I’ve got it all together. My kids are watching me. My clients are watching me. People in organizations where I hold leadership positions are watching. I know, I know… I’m just sounding paranoid now.

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Have you ever asked yourself “What is important in life?” I’m not sure many people do. Let’s face it, life is busy. Life is chaotic. Life is exhausting. All of our “to do” lists are completely unrealistic and ridiculous. But that’s just life, right? Um….I’m going to be that little voice that shouts – “NO!” That can be everybody else’s life, but it’s not going to be mine. Uh,uh, no way! (arms crossed, shaking my head). I want to live my life on purpose. I want to know what is important in life and go after it!

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50% of first marriages end in divorce. 75% of those divorcees will remarry. At least 60% of those remarriages will end in a re-divorce. Sobering statistics aren't they? But why are they this high? 50% of first marriages end in divorce I'm not even going to make a guess at the reason for this. There are interpersonal, cultural, societal, financial and many other reasons why this could be. I'll leave it up to the academic researchers to sort this one out. 75% of those divorcees will remarry I was shocked the first time I heard this.

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Making the choice to begin dating after divorce may cause lots of emotions for you. The thought can be exciting, scary, happy or even sad. But what about the feelings your kids may be having about it? One of the most important aspects to keep in mind when considering your children's reactions is how long you've been divorced. This has a huge impact on kids. Divorce research has shown time and time again, that kids take much longer to deal with all of the changes that happen as a result of a divorce than you do.

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My favorite song right now is "In Better Hands Now" by Natalie Grant. I was on a long car drive this morning and falling asleep so I put this song on when suddenly it hit me how much this song has to say for those of you who have recently divorced. Support and encouragement can come from any source. Let's go on a journey to discover how this song can speak to you... "It's hard to stand on shifting sand" - Who disagrees with the idea that a divorce causes your life to feel unstable?

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Are you longing for more meaningful relationships? A good place to start is with the people you love. These are the people who matter to you and you matter to them. I had an interesting revelation last night I wanted to share with you.

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It’s real easy as a mom to focus on everyone else’s needs. We want everyone to be happy and feel loved. But neglecting yourself doesn’t lead to much balance in life for you. I can hear it now – “Me? I don’t have time to think of me. I’m fine.” Really? If you think your needs are any less important than the other members of your household, I beg to differ sweetheart. I want to challenge that thinking a little.

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Most schools around here are back in session at this point. Finding balance in life may seem like a pipe dream for many. I see the harried expressions of moms as they drive their kids here, there, and everywhere. My foot was the victim of a grocery cart incident as a mother was rushing around with a screaming child trying to finish her shopping as quickly as possible. I get it. But does life REALLY have to be this way?

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We hear about the importance of self esteem and confidence just about every day in the media. These are areas that many women struggle with. They have to do with an overall belief (or lack thereof) in oneself and one’s ability to make wise decisions. I find that the hardest decisions for me have to do with relationships. I’m a little more emotionally invested in those, tha I am – say – a pair of shoes!

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As women, we love relationships! But how often do you find yourself asking “How do I get peace of mind relationships?” I mean, they can cause our greatest joys and our greatest heartbreaks! It can be quite a roller coaster if we’re not careful. Today, I’d like to share a simple process for keeping your sanity with the more “difficult to get along with” variety of relationships… How Do I Get Peace of Mind in Relationships Tip #1:

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Lots of people talk about the importance of learning how to build confidence, but they just talk in circles without ever getting to the “how to’s”. Personally, I find that extremely frustrating! I recently read a great book called the Right Questions, by the late Debbie Ford. She challenged my way of thinking about many things during the course of the book. But probably the most profound statement for me was, “If we didn’t have the ability to fulfill an authentic desire, we wouldn’t have the desire in the first place.”

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Last week we looked at having more balance in life by asking “What do I want more of?” This week, I want to help you take the opposite approach with a little twist. There’s great power in words. I share this principle with my clients all the time. Take a minute and notice how your emotional response changes between these two sentences: I want to have 15 minutes of quiet I need to have 15 minutes of quiet.

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Dating after divorce can be tricky. But introducing that special someone to your children is even harder. Let's cover the 4 most important steps to take in that first meeting between your new partner and your children. 1. Don't introduce them too early - Be sure this is a committed relationship before you bring your date home. Having a revolving door of boyfriends or girlfriends is really hard on kids. Just when they start to get used to someone you're on to another partner.

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“How do you find your purpose?” This is one of the most frequently asked questions! All of us what to know that we matter. We want to have an effect on this world. We want to know that everything we’ve gone through in this life was for something and that some type of legacy will be left. The best way to do this is to walk boldly in your purpose.

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I like to choose 1 word to be my focus and anchor each year. This year I wanted to learn how to find peace in my everyday life. The word I chose is "dauntless". I used to struggle a lot with of fear of rejection, perfectionism and self-doubt. I knew in 2013, it needed to end. You see, I tu 40 this year and I'm done with it. You might be wondering why I didn’t just go with the word "fearless"? Well, it wasn't strong enough! Dauntless means - not to be intimidated, bold, resolutely fearless. Those sound like great words, but how do you go from fear to dauntless?

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Ever wonder how to enjoy life? This month we continued our focus on living out our life’s purpose. Discovering your purpose can seem rather daunting, but once you’ve got a direction, it can be even more difficult to stay focused and not allow obstacles to get in your way! Let’s face it. Our lives are busy. Anyone disagree? We make thousands of choices each and every day. But the key lies in making the right choices. One obstacle we didn’t cover was numbness.

Published · 2,165 views · Rated 1/5 from 1 votes

Who wants to live your life on purpose? C’mon, raise your hands! Don’t be shy! None of us want to reflect back and the end of our lives and feel like we meandered and had little effect on anyone or anything. But in order to have an effect, you must be intentional. Now, I know you’re probably sick to death of hearing about goals, goals, goals! Well, to be honest, I am too! Goals are great, but there’s a whole lot involved in making them a reality. Oftentimes, it’s real easy to get overly focused on creating them and then we never get around to the doing.

Published · 1,245 views · Rated 4/5 from 1 votes

I regularly receive emails from men and women worldwide who are seeking advice on their blended family. These come to me here in New Zealand, a small but famous country southeast of Australia. Sometimes these emails are from individuals saying they want to leave their relationship. Here I will respond to those people and others like them in a similar position but first up I’ll share an illustration based on a true story to highlight a point I want to make. *** Rugby is HUGE here in New Zealand. A couple of weeks ago there was a match between two rival teams.

Published · 2,033 views · Rated 4.2/5 from 6 votes

Resentment. It’s such an ugly word. You don’t usually think of it when considering how to find happiness! But it’s critical to the process! Let me show you how… What causes resentment? Feeling taken advantage of! As moms, this could be considered a daily occurrence if we’re not in the right frame of mind. We spend each and every day helping others and giving of ourselves. It’s so easy to fall into the “What about me?” trap!

Published · 1,337 views · Rated 4/5 from 1 votes

I want to leave a legacy. How ‘bout you? I want to know I left a mark on this world and not just any old mark, but one that really made a positive difference in as many lives as possible. Sound impossible? No way! Every action you take has the potential to be a ripple effect. What do I mean by “ripple effect”? Well think about a bowl of water sitting in your sink. It’s just sitting there, but then the sink drips and one drop falls into the bowl. What happens? It hits and the water ripples outward. Simple, eh? Sure it is!

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It’s an important question. Life happens. We respond. And suddenly years have passed. This is where we get ourselves into trouble and realize, “This isn’t what I wanted! How did my life turn out like this? I don’t enjoy life right now!” The problem lies in not having asked that little question; “Am I Who I Want to Be?” That question helps keep us grounded and on course. Let’s look at why the 7 little words are so powerful…

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Our world is stressful. Anyone disagree with that? So want to know how to relieve stress? It’s easy to find yourself tied up in knots over just about anything if you’re not careful. It takes a conscious decision to shield yourself from the chaos that surrounds us each and every day. I’d like to share a new “shield” I’ve been practicing so that you too can give it a try if it sounds like a good fit for you!

Published · 1,397 views · Rated 4/5 from 1 votes

It’s such a simple question. Your initial reaction may have been an offended “NO!” But too often, we get caught up in the daily busyness of life that we don’t look that far ahead. This is why those milestone birthdays – 30, 40, 50, 60 – can be a struggle. “Where did the time go? How did I get to be this old?” This is why we get so excited about New Year’s Day! It’s a fresh start – we get to hit the re-set button! Even though we know we’re probably not going to do anything different. Why?

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I went to a get together a friend of mine put on this week and heard a really sad comment by one of the ladies there regarding self-care. We were talking about friendships. She said that she’s so busy with all her responsibilities at work and with her kids that she notices that she purposely pushes other people away for fear of disappointing them. She knows she doesn’t have the energy to really invest in friendships right now and so avoids them. Now on the surface that might sound like a healthy boundary to have, BUT…. Here are 3 problems with that thinking:

Published · 1,598 views · Rated 4/5 from 1 votes

Recently, I shared a simple 3 step process for waking up to what you enjoy. This helps point you in the right direction for understanding what’s truly important to you and why. Now, I want to share a practical step for choosing a direction and remaining focused on it. Getting clear on what’s important to you and why is the first step in living a life filled with purpose. But that can be a tall order when you’re feeling a little lost and

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As women, we’ve been conditioned to take care of everybody else. We feel it’s expected of us and there’s a lot of guilt involved in this. It almost seems sacrilegious to think “What about me?” Then there’s even more guilt! Guilt seems to be the underlying emotion relating to all of this. This month, I want us to take a look at that guilt and be able to move past it so that we can allow ourselves to be healthier and that, in turn, will lead to healthier families.

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I’ve been asked repeatedly “What are the nuggets that you most frequently share with the ladies you work with?” So I decided to share 4 life lessons I’ve learned in over 15 years of working with women and nearly that long being a mom. If you’ve ever wondered, “Who am I?” or “Why am I here?” then listen up, this is for you!

Published · 1,781 views

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” This verse from Luke 12:34 keeps running through my mind as I think about why certain things have been important to me throughout my life. We finished up our discussion of Part #1 of the Vibrantly Live System this month – Defining What’s Truly Important & Why.

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We hear about the importance of self control all the time. I don't know about you, but I usually have visions of grey clothes, and a boring life whenever I hear the words self control!! I made the decision to do a little investigating on this topic for find out what's so great about Self Control. I found out that self control allows me to... 1. Become more gentle with those around me. I'm able to be empathetic to the people I'm talking about because I'm focusing on them rather than me, me, me.

Published · 1,682 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

Self control is something all of us say we want more of. The mystery behind it is trying to figure out the how. How do I have self control? How do I make better choices? How will I know I can trust myself? I'd like to share 3 steps to help you move in the right direction. All 3 of these come from 1 Corinthians 9:24 - 27:

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In first marriages, the old saying is to put a bean in a jar every time you make love during the first year. For every year thereafter, take one out every time you make love. By the end of your marriage, it is said that the jar will finally be empty. It's a nice wives tale, but not necessarily ...

Published · 2,378 views

Step families are the fastest growing family in America. While that may be the case, there is a lot of confusion about how they function and what they look like. This confusion, unfortunately, leads to anger and heartbreak as these new families quickly realize just how hard it is to be a step ...

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Step families are hard. Anyone who says different doesn’t know what they’re talking about. Unfortunately the Brady Bunch just isn’t a reality. Those kids didn’t have two homes they were going back and forth to. They didn’t have parents who were trying to co-parent with an ex-spouse. And ...

Published · 3,436 views

Remarriage is challenging in the best of situations. While most people are very excited about the idea of remarrying, very few adequately prepare themselves for the minefield of challenges that lie in wait for them. You should! Believe it or not, the remarriage divorce rate is at least ...

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Why are men notoriously known for not seeking help? We have a reputation for not reading instructions, not going to the doctor's for health issues, not asking for directions, not accepting help when it's offered or just admitting when we're struggling with a problem. What comes to mind is the once comical scenario where a couple is driving to a new destination, and they're totally lost. The man proceeds to "figure it out" on his own, ignoring his wife's constructive suggestions at his peril and driving an excessive amount of extra miles before even considering stopping to ask for help.

Published · 2,740 views · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

At times being a stepfather can be a rewarding, challenging and disappointing experience. Like with any other endeavor worth pursuing you have to be intentional about being a great stepfather. To be a great stepfather requires maturity, perseverance and commitment. Underlying these attributes must be a strong marriage where there is unity of purpose regarding raising the children between the husband and wife. Anything less than singular agreement will weaken the stepfather's role within the family.

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How Stepchildren Are Like Concrete Slabs Imagine that you came home from work one day and discovered your spouse had poured a 20x30 concrete slab in the front yard. One corner of this slab sticks into the driveway; another corner took out a few hostas. And it’s a quadrilateral, not a regular rectangle. It’s 11 cubic yards of stone, permanent. You love your spouse. He loves his concrete slab—more than his motorcycle, more than his Xbox, more than anything in the world.

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Being a step-parent is a daunting task, even when you get along with the kids. My stepdaughters live three hours away from me and visit every other weekend, but I wasn't going to let that stop me from being part of their lives! I sat down with them and we brainstormed 99 ways we could keep in touch. Here's Idea #1, "Think of 30 things you have in common." When you meet new people, you're always looking for ways to get to know them.

Published · 2,132 views · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

Being a stepparent is a daunting task, even when you get along with the kids. My stepdaughters live three hours away from me and visit every other weekend, but I wasn't going to let that stop me from being part of their lives! I sat down with them and we brainstormed 99 ways we could keep in touch. Here's Idea #66: "Start doing the word of the week." My stepfamily LOVES the word of the week! Well, OK, I love the word of the week; the rest show a polite interest. This is not vocabulary and spelling.

Published · 2,353 views

Being a step-parent is a daunting task, even when you get along with the kids. My stepdaughters live three hours away from me and visit every other weekend, but I wasn't going to let that stop me from being part of their lives! I sat down with them and we brainstormed 99 ways we could keep in touch. Here's Idea #2, "Make a book to illustrate." It really doesn't matter how old your stepkid is, because most kids in general are illustrators. The hard task falls to you to make the characters and plot something your kid can draw about.

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THROW OUT THOSE OLD TAPES, OLD STORIES, OLD MESSAGES! God doesn't make mistakes. YOU are not a mistake. Ask God to renew you. The past is past. Tomorrow is a fresh start! It's God's promise that His grace and mercy are new every morning! SCRIPTURE ASSURES US... rn'Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.

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RIGHT NOW...CLOSE YOUR EYES FOR A MOMENT... PICTURE YOUR CHILDHOOD PAPERMATE 'PINK PEARL' ERASER... THAT SPECIAL SCENT IT HAD...EVEN HOW IT TASTED UPON NIBBLING... AND HOW MUCH YOU USED IT TO FIND YOUR 'FRESH START'. The famous childhood pink eraser. Yes ! We all know it well. Throughout ...

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If you are a single person on the dating scene today, there is an excellent chance you will someday be dating a partner with children. And of course, if you are already a single parent dating, you will definitely be in a relationship that involves your children and potentially your partner's ...

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Fall is upon us and families everywhere are sending their children back to school. According to many estimates, at least half of those children are engaged in a step-relationship of some sort. Yet, educational institutions lack a clear and consistent approach to managing non-custodial parents and/or stepparents when it comes to exchange of information. Policies and practices vary from school to school, teacher to teacher. Children of divorce used to live primarily with one parent or the other, and that parent was the school’s only point of contact.

Published · 2,647 views · Rated 3/5 from 3 votes

Stepfamilies are like snowflakes, no two are exactly the same. My stepkids live with me full time, but that isn't the case for many step-mothers. Many of you are probably spending a lot more time with your stepkids than you are used to doing. This post is dedicated to those of you that might be experiencing a difficult transition from part-time to full-time stepparent. Here are my suggestions for an enjoyable extended stay for your stepfamily: 1. Before the visit, talk to you spouse about your hopes, expectations and concerns.

Published · 2,597 views · Rated 3/5 from 3 votes

Do you still define your ex in terms of your failed relationship, or do you relate to him/her strictly as "the other parent"? How you frame your perception of your former spouse has a tremendous impact on your co-parenting relationship. The two of you may not be friends, but you’ll always be your children’s rnparents. Defining one another in terms of your own past relationship often brings up negative feelings of disappointment, resentment and anger. It’s no wonder that you forget to treat each other as co-parents and instead see each other as a reminder of your failed past.

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Families of the 21st Century come in all shapes and sizes. Divorce, remarriage, parenting out-of-wedlock and a host of other variables have turned nuclear families into the exception rather than the norm. As little as a half-century ago, children were typically raised in homes with two biological parents, and chances are, those two parents had the support of extended family members nearby.

Published · 23,849 views · Rated 2.8/5 from 5 votes

I hear the same story time and again; “the kids liked me until I married their father.” So why is it that marriage often serves as the trigger, transforming once charming children into sullen stepkids? Many parents mistakenly believe that because the children are happy about the courtship that they will be happy about the marriage. They’re surprised to find that the kids no longer want step-mom-to-be included in family outings or special occasions. It’s likely that in the beginning you did things for your spouse’s kids hoping that they would like you.

Published · 6,152 views · Rated 3/5 from 5 votes

This website details Zoe Zimmerma 's over 24 years' experience as a psychotherapist in private practice and areas of expertise in trauma and relationship therapy, with an emphasis on EFT.

zoez-therapy.com · Published · 21 views · Rated 3/5 from 20 votes

Clinical Psychologist offers private therapy, speaking, workshops, articles, and books.

wisdomonstepparenting.com · Published · 50 views · Rated 3/5 from 29 votes

Licensed Clinical Psychologist, General Practice, Blended Family advice column and information for stress management.

drdianaweiss-wisdom.com · Published · 7 views · Rated 2.9/5 from 20 votes

Licensed Clinical Psychologist specializing in Marriage Counseling, Blended Families, Pre-marital assessment and counseling, Stepparenting, Depression and Anxiety, Stress Management, Trauma/EMDR, Stress Management, Personality Testing/Assessment

cottageclinic.net · Published · 2 views · Rated 2.6/5 from 5 votes

Stepparenting is a confusing, complex journey. We can help you recognize and avoid the pitfalls and map your stepfamily journey. Family Support, counselling, and workshops provided by a professional, registered social worker, certified trainer, and Stepfamily Foundation Certified Counsellor.

diannemartinandassociates.com · Published · Rated 3/5 from 7 votes

Website for my private practice and coaching services for women.

talk2alyssa.com · Published · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

Not everything about stepfamily life is bad. This website celebrates the positive. Support, encouragement, and suggestions for activities--whether your stepkids live right under your roof or are far away.

10000seeds.com · Published · 123 views · Rated 2.9/5 from 40 votes

Tools for remarried parents merging two families into one, establishing a strong stepfamily and a peaceful environment.

blackwellfamilyresources.com · Published · 10 views · Rated 2.8/5 from 24 votes