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Love & Relationships Resources

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ARTArticleHow to Get your Self-Esteem back after a Break-UpOne of the many things we struggle with as we learn to recover from a break-up is learning how to rebuild our self-esteem. It’s easy to understand why this is such an issue. When your relationship ends, you may feel rejected. You may feel unworthy. You sit crying on your coach, a pint of Ben & Jerry’s at hand, wondering why your partner does not love you anymore. You may think, as you’re stumbling through the list of to-do’s and stress of everything else going on in your life, that nobody will ever find you attractive and worthy of love.ARTArticleHow to Reinvent Yourself After HeartbreakToday, are going to take those lessons and learn how to apply that divorce gift so you can continue to move on with your life. Don’t think of yourself as just a “divorcee.” You are so much more than that. For years, you probably defined yourself as spouse, partner, and caregiver. Those definitions are all great, but they only make up a part of you. And when we tie ourselves to those definitions, we forget about all the things we once were. But you are now given the incredible gift of redefining yourself. What do you identify with? Are you are dreamer, thinker, and doer?ARTArticleI'm Not Sorry!I'm not sorry!ARTArticleI'm So Not a Morning PersonIt’s 9:15am and so far I have showered, put on my face, dressed, drove my daughter to camp, dropped my car off for service, walked to a neighborhood greasy spoon for a real breakfast and am now sitting on the patio of the local Starbucks, enjoying my Chai tea latte. Life is good!ARTArticleIf You Don't Have Something Nice To Say, Maybe You Should Say It Anyway“A failure to confront is a failure to love.” Scott Peck ARTArticleImprove Overall Well-Being Through LoveIn looking forward to 2016, I believe our intentions should have to do with altering the lens through which we view our life and ourselves. It is so important to experience and view life through the eyes of love and not fear. It is equally as important to see yourself through the lens of love and forgiveness. This will help us all become better people and, in turn, better parents.ARTArticleIs Ego Destroying Your Relationship?Relationships experience ups and downs and can sometimes lead to breakups and heartaches but is ego part of what is destroying your relationship? If you take a deep look at relationships across the globe, be it in the workplace, government or personal, pride/ego shows up when there is a misunderstanding or conflict in our personas. No one wants to face defeat due to fear and as long as we do not recognize that fear has no place in love, we will continue to face difficulties in our relationships.r ARTArticleIs Ethical Non-Monogamy a Viable Alte ative to Cheating?When I think about cheating in relationships, a wide range of scenarios ranging from the woman who confides her deepest desires and fears to her coworker instead of her husband, to the highly sexed “player” that will bed any woman who spreads her legs for him, come to mind. There’s emotional cheating, physical cheating, psychological cheating, et cetera. Whatever particular form of cheating is involved, cheating is any activity that violates the trust in a relationship by breaking agreed upon rules, whether tacit or explicit.ARTArticleIs it Safe Being Vulnerable with Him?As a therapist, I see a common self-defeating pattern in clients: they hold back from expressing their authentic selves — their true feelings, wants, and needs — to their relationship partner. By not communicating our true selves, we miss the opportunity to gain the kind of relationship we long for. We feel frustrated when we aren’t understood, don’t get our needs met, and don’t know what’s on the other person's mind. Communicating openly usually fosters a more emotionally and spiritually fulfilling relationship.ARTArticleIs rejection actually a gift? Yes!None of us are immune to rejection. It doesn’t matter where you are in life, and whether it’s ending a marriage or breaking up with a partner. Even the strongest of us can’t help but feel like we did something wrong when the person we loved and cared about and spent our lives with as a partner suddenly doesn’t want to be with us anymore. “Why don’t they love me anymore?” “What did I do wrong?” “What’s wrong with me?” “What could I have done differently?”ARTArticleKids Are Not Born Knowing!Think way, way back to when you first became a parent. For those who gave birth and raised biological children, the moment I am talking about was the exact moment that your child was born. For those who adopted, fostered or became kin care parents; however you became a parent……that first moment that you laid eyes on your child is the moment I am referring to. Since that moment and basically forever more while you exist on this planet, you are the role model, the leading example for your children.ARTArticleLaw of Attraction: The Importance of Feeling Good"It's really important that you feel good. Because this feeling good is what goes out as a signal into the universe and starts to attract more of itself to you. So the more you can feel good, the more you will attract the things that help you feel good and that will keep bringing you up higher and higher." --Joe Vitale,?Author and Speaker The "Law of Attraction" states that like attracts like. Most Law of Attraction gurus state that there are four steps to manifestation:ARTArticleLeadership in Relationships…What is This About?The last two weeks, I received at my place at North Easton,MA (USA) about 150 people for the celebration of my wedding to the most amazing person God blessed me to be with: My wife, Dr. Vanessa Estelle Fossouo. There were people everywhere, some people I haven’t heard of for more than 10 years, friends from high school, from college, for previous workplace… Other than my friends, lot of my wife’s friends were also there. One week after the wedding there are few names that seem to be unforgettable.ARTArticleLearn to Reduce Your Stress in 8 SIMPLE STEPS!As featured in the HUFF POST: Learn to Reduce Your Stress in 8 Simple Steps! Stress can make an unfortunate appearance at any time of year, but when we are challenged, tired, or going through a crisis, it can spike. Though we can’t “stop” stress from entering our lives, we can take control of the level and intensity of it. Don’t let stress consume you! You can take charge of your thoughts and reprogram your brain. There are ways to “de-stress” within minutes. All you need to dornis try them and experience more inner calm. The good news is that it can be done fairly quickly.ARTArticleLet Go of Anything That No Longer Serves You“The trees do not hold on to dead leaves but lose them in order to create room for new ones. We can learn from this, by letting go of the past and focusing on the now. We cannot change the past but we can make the present and future brighter and better not bitter.” ~ Kemi Sogunler ARTArticleLoneliness Is Merely an Attitude You Can Abolish Today!Nobody -- whether single, in a long-term committed relationship or anything in between -- is completely immune from that often-painful feeling of loneliness. That is, however, until you can see it for what it is: an attitude that's completely within your power to change.ARTArticleLove Out LoudAs you may know, I am big believe in The Love Diet. This means that I do my very best to consume positive, Loving food and media. I focus on having joyful and peaceful experiences with kind and Loving people. And I stay aware of what I’m thinking, saying and doing in order to strive for my most fulfilling and Loving life. And this is because I believe that we have an amazing power to create both our individual and collective future with these daily decisions.ARTArticleLove Test: A Gift of PresenceThe greatest gifts that I can remember receiving throughout my life are not ones that have come in a box with beautiful wrapping, although those can be nice too, but the ones that remain truly vivid for me are the gifts of sharing a moment, fully engaged with other people. These moments are usually with one person a loved one, a friend, family member, a student or a group of people. These moments may include the exchanging of ideas, stories, laughter, and even tears or maybe a moment of shared silence and attunement.ARTArticleLoving Yourself By Following Your GuidanceA major aspect of loving yourself is taking the loving action suggested by your spiritual guidance. I cannot even begin to tell you how much my life has changed since I’ve been following the advice of my guidance rather than my ego wounded self. Here are just a few of the changes that have occurred for me: I no longer feel anxious, fearful or depressed. I feel peaceful, joyful and excited about my life most of the time. Judgments of myself are a thing of the past. I feel a deep sense of self-worth instead of believing I’m not good enough.ARTArticleLoving Yourself Can Heal Fear"I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do, provided he keeps doing them until he gets a record of successful experiences behind him." ~Eleanor Roosevelt I know from my own experiences that what Eleanor Roosevelt said in the above quote is very true. - I used to be scared to speak up for myself or speak my truth, and now I do it easily. - I used to be afraid of public speaking or doing radio or TV shows, and now I do these easily. - I used to be scared to be in my power, and now it's natural for me.ARTArticleLoving Yourself Rather Than Giving Yourself UpMarina asked: “I often go out of my way and do different things for my fiancé. For example if he wants me to stay and do something with him, I cancel what I have to do and stay with him. But he never does the same. He takes care of whatever he feels he needs to. Then I’m filled with resentment towards him. Can you explain what is a loving way to be in relationships? Do we just do what’s best for us or do we have to sacrifice at some point to make the other person happy?”ARTArticleLoving Yourself When Your Partner Is NeedyAre you an empathic person who feels others' pain and then takes responsibility for their feelings in an effort to alleviate their pain? Is it hard for you to feel others' pain without trying to fix them? Often, empathic people become caretakers to try to alleviate others' pain so they don't have to feel that pain. And takers are generally very attracted to caretakers. This is the situation with Tiffany:r ARTArticleLoving Yourself When Your Partner Shuts You OutWhat do you do when your partner shuts you out? Do you know that being shut out and stonewalled is even more hurtful than being yelled at? Children would rather get yelled at or even hit than ignored. This is why the worst punishment for prisoners is solitary confinement. Yet, along with overt anger, withdrawal is the most common form of controlling behavior in relationships. Just as the fear of anger keeps partners from addressing issues, so does the fear of a partner's withdrawal. Loretta is struggling with this issue.ARTArticleMaking Gratitude a Daily Practice in Your Child's LifeGratefulness and thankfulness are both positive feelings and important factors when it comes to raising happy, responsible and authentic kids. When we think positively we attract more positive, which leads to attracting more abundance. And who doesn’t want a little of that? Getting in the space of feeling grateful can help develop the habit of naturally seeing the silver lining, despite what you are going through. Surprisingly, it didn’t dawn on me until recently to start talking to my kids about the practice of gratitude.ARTArticleMarriage Counselor Confesses Own FoiblesHero worship makes me uncomfortable. I am an extremely minor public figure, except among certain family members and friends who inflate my fame as author of Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love. As a marriage expert, I sense that many people who have heard of me think I must be a perfect marriage partner. This is not true. I'm no hero.ARTArticleMarried or Dating, Be Who You Are"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken, quipped Oscar Wilde. You've probably heard it's best to be yourself. Sounds easy, doesn't it? Yet many of us, wanting to please someone with whom we are in a close relationship--or with whom we may hope to be--forget to follow this advice and end up in relationships that are less than fulfilling. Self-Knowledge is Key ARTArticleMy Daughter Gets Fingerprinted – The Next Chapter BeginsThere were several instances over the past 18 or so years as I raised my 5 children as a single parent, where the reality of my kids moving on to their next necessary chapters of life, has suddenly hit me. I had such a moment last week, as I watched my middle daughter Rebecca get fingerprinted at a courthouse in New Jersey. She was being cleared for her first full-time job out of college. It was required as part of obtaining a security clearance to work for a defense contractor in Virginia – a four hour Amtrak ride away.ARTArticleNow that I’m Married, How Do I Talk to My Spouse?A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ---Mignon McLaughlin Can you imagine your partner and yourself holding a weekly formal meeting? The idea might intrigue you, but what if it turns into a gripe sessions or a series of demands?ARTArticleOscar Wilde's Fine Dating and Marriage AdviceYou’ve probably heard it’s best to be yourself. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? It might help to recall Oscar Wilde's quip: "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." Yet many of us, wanting to please someone with whom we are in a close relationship—or with whom we may hope to be--forget to follow this advice and end up in relationships that are less than fulfilling. KNOW YOURSELF ARTArticleOuch! Best Responses to a Difficult PersonIs there a difficult person in your life? ll of us are likely to know someone who "pushes our buttons." The person could be almost anyone -- a spouse, in-law, other relative, friend, coworker, boss--or even (gasp!) our self! Which reminds me of what Rabbi Joseph Richards said: "People are annoying. So find the person who annoys you the least and marry that one!

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