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ARTArticle5 Reasons You’re Not Having SexThere are all sorts of reasons couples’ sex lives have stalled. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of identifying where you got off track so you can make adjustments to resume a satisfying sex life. But in the end, there is really one main reason couples don’t have sex: It’s not enjoyable. The reward they get from having sex is not enough to justify going to the trouble.ARTArticle5 Tips to Handle ConflictDo you find yourself arguing more and more? Would you like to turn your arguing into communicating? Here are 5 tips to help you out. 1. First and foremost, build your relationship with God. When your relationship with God is strong, very little can cause conflict in your life. 2. Remove the “me first” attitude. Think of your spouse’s wants before thinking of your own. When you give your spouse more than they require, they will give you more than you expect. 3. Do not repay evil for evil.ARTArticle7 reasons why some people feel badPeople usually feel bad as a result of many internal and exte al factors. Although some of them might be aware of the root cause still the majority of them are totally unaware. If you tried to ask why, you'll get something like; i don't know what's happening but I'm not feeling fine. You might want to get upset but the truth is that they themselves can't be blamed because they really can't explain.ARTArticleA THEORETICAL PERSPECTIVE ON BLACK MALE SEXUALITY & RACISM IN AMERICA, PT 1I am the first documented Social Scientist and Clinical Sexologist to conduct in-depth research into the sexual behavior and sexual practices of Black People in America, As a result of this research I theorize that the sexual practices of black people are virtually unknown because they are shrouded in myths, fairy tales and stereotypes developed over centuries by other races.ARTArticleAdult Depression and Childhood AbuseOver the years I’ve discovered that a significant proportion of adult clients who present with depression have a history of childhood abuse. The abuse may have been sexual, physical and/or emotional. At first I attributed this to the fact that I specialize in abuse and many clients who come to me saying they are depressed are using that as a presenting issue because they aren’t ready to discuss the abuse. But what I now understand is that most adult survivors of childhood abuse do suffer from some form of depression.ARTArticleAlign with the Energy of LoveYears ago when I was single and lived in Boston, I heard Marianne Williamson speak at the Berklee Center for Performing Arts. Something she said powerfully impacted me in my search for love. I cannot remember her exact words, but she said something like, “Every woman can describe the man she’s looking for. Think of that person in as much detail as you can imagine. Now, picture the woman on his arm. Before you can attract your ideal man, you must become that woman.”ARTArticleAre You a Victim of an Emotional Manipulator?Are you afraid of conflict with your significant other or friend? Do you make bad decisions to accommodate him? Do you tell little white lies to avoid problems? Do you blame yourself for his dissatisfaction? Do you rush to pamper him when he becomes irritated? Do you sacrifice and give, give, give—and still feel sad and lonely? Perhaps you are under the thumb of an expert at emotional manipulation.ARTArticleAre You Close to Someone with Narcissist Personality Disorder?When you are a close relative, partner or friend of a person who suffers from Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD), you suffer too. People with NPD have an escalated sense of their superiority and importance in the world and a constant need for attention and admiration. They often have little regard for others’ feelings and may even exploit others to achieve their own goals. These traits can be detrimental to those who are close to the NPD sufferer. Causes of NPD ARTArticleAre You in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship?Sticks and stones may break my bones, But names can never hurt me. This childhood ditty may be one reason some people are slow to understand that verbal or emotional abuse is as detrimental as it truly is. After all, words are not as bad as physical blows, are they? But consider this: Physical violence against you eventually heals, but insidious emotional abuse, often out of the sight of anyone else who can validate your feelings, can last a long time. If you: - are in emotional pain and a depression that seems to have settled permanently;ARTArticleAre You With the Right Partner?Am I with the right partner? As a couples therapist, I've been asked this question a lot. The couples I see are usually frustrated, and often for good reason. They've tried to solve relationship problems by talking, by not talking, by changing their behavior and by not changing it. Nothing, so far, has worked. Who wouldn't be frustrated...and confused? It's no surprise that they start to wonder if maybe the situation is hopeless, if maybe they just don't have the right partner.ARTArticleATTAINING LONGER, HEALTHIER SEXUAL INTIMACYOn occasio I meet someone who “knows it all.” These pseudo-fountains of knowledge are usually among the first to require counseling. Regardless of the type of therapy provided, all counselors, from time to time, run into someone who has a cornucopia of knowledge to impart to the therapist. The question then becomes, why are you here? Most people realize that their knowledge of sexuality can be enhanced; however, talking about it is a different issue.ARTArticleBedtime Stories Are For Couples, TooBedtime is always one of the best times of the day. It is when lying down that our brain is more relaxed, open and creative. Any bed talk would definitely be easier and natural. Spend time then with your spouse in bed and talk. Sleep is essential. It makes your tired body rests and rejuvenates. So take time to sleep in a way that energizes, strengthens, and boosts your health. Good bed talk and sleeping in your spouse's arm are two best ways. 1.Talk anything in bed as possible.ARTArticleBehavior Patterns Happy Couples ShareI’ve been talking the last couple of weeks about happy couples. Although everyone’s different, there are certain patterns that recur among those who have solid, happy relationships. They’re friends, they laugh together, they pay attention to one another, and they communicate well. What else?ARTArticleBEING AVAILABLE EVEN IF YOUR THERE.The world, as we view it today has become so stressful and demanding. With so much tension from work, environment, and society, you tend to exhaust all your time and energy to meet its demands. By the time you come home to your cozy little home, you are already too tired and expired to make quality time for your marriage. This is a sad fact today. Many marriages crumble down with reason that their partner does not have time for them or no longer available for the relationship. Being available does not only mean being physically present.ARTArticleBEING HONEST ABOUT THE PAST.“Past is past.” This is one of the most common lines in dealing with the drama of relationships. We try to avoid our past especially ugly ones. We fear that it might boil a possible dispute on the present. Therefore, we junk old memories in the deeper corners of our minds thinking that those stuffs are no longer necessary for your partner to know. From ex-girlfriends to ex-boyfriends, from ex-wives to ex-husbands, from drug problems to health problems, from old reputations to unforgettable mistakes… Let us face it! We all have skeletons in our closets.ARTArticleCharacter Education is Personal Growth for KidsSocial and Emotional learning builds character traits that provide kids with benefits that last a lifetime and lessons from Personal Growth and Positive Psychology can change the future and our kid’s lives. From Dale Carnegie, Napoleon Hill and Samuel Clement Stone to Zig Zigler, Tony Robbins, Jack Canfield, Deepak Chopra and Dr. Wayne Dyer, the message about how to live a life without excuses, doubts, fears and to its absolute fullest has been blasted loud and clear for all of us to hear for a very long time.ARTArticleCOMING TO THE TABLEOften couples carry baggage from relationship-to-relationship. They do not realize that their new relationships fail as a result of the previous baggage. In any new relationship there is always one constant…themselves! Often, problems first arise with the couple's intimacy. These can have devastating and long-lasting negative effects. Frequently this results in a complete lack of intimacy.ARTArticleCommitment and Love are marriage builders.Main marriage builders are commitment and love. They always go together. They are two sides of a coin, different but one. They are like inseparable twins; a pair of wings that becomes useless when one is gone. Without commitment, love could not keep marriage longer. Without love, commitment could not make marriage happier. Commitment and love are marriage builders because they make lasting and happier marriage. -Well, happy lovers and unmarried partners casually separate because of the absence or lack of commitment in their relationship.ARTArticleConflict in, conflict outBad as it is, conflict is a fixed part of society. It does not only destroy, but builds and improves human relationships. Conflicts rooted from simple and complex causes. They are either caused by misinformation or differences in values and interests or structural flaws or a mix of the three. Conflicts are undeniably damaging unless they are carefully resolved. There are various ways of resolving conflicts especially for complex ones. They often vary by culture and root causes. There were conflicts that were arbitrarily resolved, mediated and conciliated.ARTArticleContempt: A Sign Your Marriage Is in TroubleThere are as many reasons for troubled marriages as there are people in them. Surely infidelity is a big one. One partner’s selfishness is another. Disrespect for your partner’s opinions and feelings will certainly damage a relationship, as will a lack of emotional intimacy, communication and affection. A need to get your own way through control, manipulation or abuse is devastating. The list goes on. But the number one sign your marriage is in trouble is contempt. Contempt: the feeling that a person is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn.ARTArticleDisagree without Being DisagreeableA friend’s husband told her early in their relationship that there was no need to fight. He said, “Everyone tells you to learn to fight fair. But I say, we don’t fight at all.” Always a coward in the face of conflict, she thought that was great. And they don’t fight, meaning they don’t throw things, dredge up old hurts from the past, or raise their voices to ear-splitting decibels. But they do fight, meaning they disagree. It would be tough to exist as an individual entity without feeling differently from your spouse every once and awhile.ARTArticleDoes Marriage Counseling Work?The short answer to this question is a resounding “Yes!” Dr. John Gottman spent forty years researching how couples create close, lasting relationships and what it takes to turn a distressed marriage around. Using his approach, Gottman Method Couples Therapy, 85% of couples were able to turn their relationships around. More recently, Johnson et al followed couples who sought the help of Emotionally Focused Therapy.ARTArticleDoes marriage counseling work? Yes!Yes! Marriage counseling works. However, is seeking professional marriage counseling necessary? Some people would recommend marriage counseling. Most often advise marriage counseling is not necessary. What is indeed marriage counseling? How does marriage counseling work? Most urge to discuss marital problems with the people directly involved in the problem. The advice is definitely correct. You and involved person should personally discuss and solve problems. Nothing is better than it. However, directly dealing with problems alone is incomplete.ARTArticleDon’t panic just yet – You can have complete control over your CholesterolDid you know that the study of cholesterol is actually a relatively recent idea? Cholesterol is a natural function of the human body and a 1951 government study illustrates just how it affects us today. That study was conducted in Korea by pathologists sent from the Pentagon and revealed astonishing results to the medical community of that time. They autopsied 2,000 soldiers that had lost their lives during the war effort, finding that over ¾ of their artery walls were covered with yellow deposits of atherosclerotic plaque.ARTArticleEbenezer - A Life Coach? What We Can All Learn from ScroogeAs the holidays come and go, one of the most popular remakes we see on network television is the holiday classic called A Christmas Carol. Kelsey Grammar sings about days past in the musical, Vanessa Williams reconnects with her long lost friends while Susan Lucci discovers what a Grinch she really is as modern day Scrooge. As I see it, we can learn a lot from this grouchy, ghost-fearing guy. Exactly what life lessons can we learn from Ebenezer, anyway? Those apparitions got it right it my book. After all, I never realized how on target they were!ARTArticleEffective Praise…How to Guide for Parents!Tired of nagging your kids all the time? Do you feel like no matter how many times you tell them to clean their rooms, the rooms are never cleaned? Worn out from refereeing sibling fights? The answer is easier than you might think—Positive Parenting. Instead of spending your days disciplining the negative behaviors your children may be doing, create a positive parenting environment. For instance, let’s say your child has a messy room. Don’t nag your child until he cleans it up. Ignore the mess, and praise your child EVERY TIME you see him put something away.ARTArticleEMOTIONAL ABUSE : What it is and why it is so important to recognizeSticks and stones may break my bones but … bullying and name-calling can emotionally scar me forever. Not the original ending to the classic verse, but probably the more accurate one. It seems that broken bones will heal far more quickly than a battered soul. Does this sound overly dramatic?ARTArticleEven Step parents Need Time for ThemselvesWhen you remarried and became a step parent you probably didn't realize how hard it would be to be a parent to a child that was not your own. It's tough- really tough,and you rarely receive any praise or thanks. You want to keep your spouse happy, their kids happy, your kids happy (if you have some biological kids) and usually anyone else that comes within 3 feet of you happy.ARTArticleExploring the Extraordinary in the Ordinary.10 WAYS TO KEEP & SUSTAIN A MARRIAGE 4.) EXPLORING THE EXTRAORDINARY IN THE ORDINARY. Human lives today have become more and more complex. With so many responsibilities that are required of us, we tend to make things easy by organizing our busy lives. Organizing leads you to make schedules and routines to avoid confusion and to make things systematic as you go through the day. This routine you stick to goes on as part of your life. You fashioned it according to your convenience. This also applies to your marriage since being married is a part of your life as well.ARTArticleFive Ways to Get Rid of Your Victim MentalityDo you continually believe you are a victim of someone else’s actions? Do you choose to feel oppressed? Is bad luck or lack of fai ess the source of your problems? If so, you may have a victim mentality. If you do, you probably find temporary solace in your self-pity. Friends and family may be kind enough to validate your notions by feeling sorry for you. At the same time, you don’t have to take the risks of trying to set matters right—you might fail. Nor do you have to take on the responsibilities of improving your behavior. You can just continue with your negative, destructive mindset.r

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