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ARTArticleDr. Romance on Emotional HygieneDr. Romance writes:
A couple of years ago, I had some difficult dental work. It was very painful, and while I recovered physically pretty quickly, I had some post -traumatic stress reactions – bad dreams, flashbacks, and upset – after my recovery. I had to acknowledge my upset and feelings, and let them out before the stress reactions subsided.
I often help my clients do this, too, not only with PTSD from shocking or painful experiences, but also with grief and old memories.ARTArticleDr. Romance on Friends in Need: Interventions for Domestic ViolenceLast month, Dr. Romance received the following letter from a reader:ARTArticleDr. Romance on Friends With BenefitsDr. Romance writes:
If you’re thinking about having sex with a friend, be very careful, because it is not easy to preserve a friendship once you have sex. We think we can control our feelings, but it's not so simple.
*If one of you becomes romantically attached as a result of the sex, the friendship will probably not survive.ARTArticleDr. Romance on Giving ThanksDr. Romance wishes you a Happy Thanksgiving!
A lot of people aren’t very good at looking at the positive. I hear a lot of negativity, blaming and complaining daily in my counseling office, and I find the more negative people are, the worse their lives work. Talking about how bad it all is seems to be quite popular. When I can break through this fashionable bad attitude enough to get my clients begin thinking of what can be done to fix the problem (rather than how awful it all is) things soon begin to improve.ARTArticleDr. Romance on Gratitude, Kindness and HappinessDr. Romance writes:ARTArticleDr. Romance on How to Help a Friend Who is DepressedIt's not easy to know what to do when you have a friend who seems depressed. Dr. Romance has some guidelines to help you support and care for your dear one.
1. Don't try to cheer your friend up. It just sounds like you don't understand.
2. Listen, listen, listen: Your friend needs someone who can hear whatever the problem is. It doesn't matter if it seems like a small or big problem to you, it's overwhelming to your friend, and he or she needs to talk about it. A lot.ARTArticleDr. Romance on Love and ChemistryDr. Romance writes:
Many of my clients want to know: What is a safe surrender to love? They have been in love before, and have gotten hurt. While we all are aware of the joy and beauty of love, and the profound pleasure of being in love, most of us are also afraid of mistakes, of making a wrong decision.ARTArticleDr. Romance on Love StylesDr. Romance writes:
There was a time when life seemed very hard, so hard I tried not to think about it.. Several times I helped to destroy some very viable relationships. Changing myself, my life and my loves has been very exciting and fulfilling, yet I am still growing. Love Styles is intended to help you reach your desired destination on your own journey and make your hard places a little easier.ARTArticleDr. Romance on Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your DifferencesDr. Romance writes:
It was one of those magical encounters with a personal truth—you know how it feels. I was fifteen, in ninth-grade English. The teacher, Mr. Rizzutto, read us a poem, and it had such a profound effect on me that even five decades later, I’m still using it as a guide. The poem, “Outwitted,” by Edwin Markham, is simple:
He drew a circle that shut me out;
Heretic; rebel; a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in.ARTArticleDr. Romance on Relationships 101: Do Opposites Attract?Dr. Romance writes: It seems logical that like would attract like, but in my private practice as a marriage counselor and psychotherapist, I often see people drawn to their opposite because it's new and exciting.ARTArticleDr. Romance on shared laughterDr. Romance writes: A lighthearted approach to serious matters often is the most productive one. Imagine what your days would be like if you focused on having fun and making yourself and your partner laugh. Fun is also good for your health: Telling your partner the cute thing your kid said (or your pet did) or talking about the funny scene in the latest hit movie will lower your blood pressure, calm your pulse and generally help you release a lot of stress.ARTArticleDr. Romance on spreading kindnessDr. Romance on spreading kindness
Spreading kindness is the best way I know to be happy. If you want to spread kindness around, here are some ideas:
*Kindness begins on the inside – learn to be as kind in talking to yourself as you are to others – then, keep improving. Self-talk sets the bar for the happiness in your life.ARTArticleDr. Romance on Staying YoungDr. Romance is aware that there is a heavy emphasis on youth in today's culture. Companies and individuals want to sell you potions, clothing, makeup, diets, exercise and attitudes and other magic to help you stay young. But, scientific research shows that these things rarely make a significant difference.ARTArticleDr. Romance on Ten Things People Don't Know about TherapyDr. Romance writes:ARTArticleDr. Romance on The Perks of Dating a Divorced PersonDr. Romance asks: Should you date someone who is divorced? Does it mean the person can't commit or trashes relaitonships?
It's possible that those things are true, but let's look on the positive side. What are the perks of people who have already been through the mill?
1. Divorced people are no longer living in fantasy land. A person who’s divorced may have made some istakes, but he or she’s usually got a more realistic picture of what it will take to have a successful relationship.ARTArticleDr. Romance on To Help An Addicted FriendDr. Romance writes:ARTArticleDr. Romance on Using Social Media to Find DatesDr. Romance writes:ARTArticleDr. Romance on: 11 things people won't tell you about divorceThere's a lot of misinformation about divorce, and Dr. Romance would like to clear up some of the confusion.
Here are 11 things people will not tell you about divorce.ARTArticleDr. Romance on: It's a Dirty Job: Use the Silly Solution for a Healthy RelationshipDr. Romance writes: Early in our marriage, after a difficult struggle between us, I gave my husband Richard a card. All over the front it said, "I love you," and inside it said, "It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it." That phrase has carried us through many difficult times since.ARTArticleDr. Romance on: No Cooperation? Solve It Yourself!Dr. Romance writes:
What do you do after you have tried everything and your partner, friend, child or colleague still won't negotiate?ARTArticleDr. Romance video: Am I too old to date again?Click Here for Video
In today's world, people don't often realize the importance of companionship until later in life. Staying fit and physically and socially active increases your odds of finding someone to date, and also increases your libido and your chances of successful sex. But, beware of too much focus on the surface, and not enough content. Such relationships quickly become empty and stressful.ARTArticleDr. Romance video: Ask Dr. Romance: Should I Start a Family?Click here for video
Many men think it's exciting to be a "serial single guy" but at a certain point, life begins to feel empty. That means it's time to grow up emotionally, and consider making a commitment and building a life with more real satisfaction.ARTArticleDr. Romance Video: Dating after WidowhoodARTArticleDr. Romance Video: Dating after WidowhoodTo view the video, click here.
Dr. Romance's 3 Tips for Finding New LoveARTArticleDr. Romance video: Do men have biological clocks?Dr. Romance on men and biological clocks:
To watch video, click here
Yes, a man can feel the need to grow up and have a family, especially when he finds a woman who inspires those feelings in him. The problem is, how can you be sure the match is a good one?ARTArticleDr. Romance Video: Holidays with Family and In-lawsClick Here for Video
Dr. Romance on Holidays with Family and In-lawsARTArticleDr. Romance Video: How to Decide Whether or Not to End Your MarriageTo watch video, click here
Dr Romance: Should you stay in your marriage?
Marriage can be frustrating and disappointing, especially if you don't have the skills to fix it. But giving in to the frustration and leaving may turn out to be the worst thing you ever did.
Consider these reasons to stay:ARTArticleDr. Romance Video: Is it normal to argue with your spouse about your kids?click here for video
It is not necessary to argue about parenting your kids. Couples usually argue about how their parents raised them, and they want to do the same (or the opposite) of what hteir parents did.
How Not to Pass Your Family Dysfunction on to your kids:ARTArticleDr. Romance Video: Is there a right way to ask for more sex?To watch the video click here:
Dr. Romance's Guidelines for Creating a Sexual Agreement:
* Set up a problem-solving session:
* Having a time to talk about sex will help you create trust and sexual openness which makes finding solutions much easier.
* Begin with reassurance and good will, reminding each other of your love and of your desire that your sexual relationship be fulfilling for both of you.ARTArticleDr. Romance Video: on Dating as a Single ParentTo watch the video click here:
Dr. Romance's Dating Guidelines for Single Parents
As a single parent, you probably have so little free time that dating seems an impossible task. Yet, single parents are dating in unprecedented numbers, so if you’re looking for another “head of household” to date, you’ll find one, perhaps at LoveFilter.