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ARTArticle***Embracing PanicDiscover how to manage panic in a way that allows it to dissipate rather than escalate. "That's the strange thing about panic – when we lean into it, it loosens it's grip on us." Daniel Siegel, M.D.ARTArticle***Forming Our Relationships BackwardsThe divorce rate in the U.S. continues to hover around 50 percent and the dissolution incidence when one or both of the parties have been previously married is about 65 percent. This is a national travesty. The amount of emotional angst and money spent, not to mention the extent of trauma brought to the involved children, is immeasurable.ARTArticle***Friendship: Connection or Neediness?Do you have problems having truly connected friendships? Friendship is a big topic. There are people who always seem to have many friends, and others who can't seem to find the way to make friends. Some people have deeply connected friendships, and others have only superficial acquaintances. What accounts for these differences? A part of the answer lies in Jayne's question:ARTArticle***GreedGreed is wreaking havoc on our planet. "We are in danger of destroying ourselves by our greed and stupidity." ~Stephen Hawking "In a country well-gove ed, poverty is something to be ashamed of. In a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of." ~ Confucius What Causes Greed? The Free Dictionary defines greed as "an inordinate desire to acquire or possess more than one needs, especially with respect to material wealth."ARTArticle***How Controlling Others Controls YouHow are you limiting yourself to limit your partner? What are the consequences of this? "As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might." ~Marian Anderson 1902-1993, Concert and Opera Singer "I've always wanted to take flying lessons," Ginnie told me in our phone session.ARTArticle***Inner Disconnection = Planetary DisconnectionBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D. ________________________________________ The disturbing lack of a personal spiritual connection that many experience has huge ramifications for our planet. ________________________________________ARTArticle***Is Unconditional Love Realistic?Do you have the expectation that you will receive unconditional love from a partner? Most of us would love the experience of being loved unconditionally by someone. This is the experience we needed when we were growing up, but most parents are not connected enough with themselves and their spiritual guidance to be able to offer this. Is it realistic now to expect it from a partner?ARTArticle***Making Peace With Lost TimeDo you sometimes look back and feel as if you have wasted your life caretaking others or trying to get others to take care of you?ARTArticle***Managing The Pain of BreakupsDo you know how to lovingly manage and heal the loneliness and heartbreak of a breakup? Breakups are challenging for most of us. However, on top of the heartbreak and grief of a breakup, we often make it worse by the things we say to ourselves. What are some of the things you tell yourself during a breakup that may be adding to the pain?ARTArticle***Needs vs. NeedinessI recently received the following request: "Hi Dr. Paul -- I would be interested in an article that talks about having needs vs. being needy. I was brought up to be ashamed of my needs. I was supposed to be self-sufficient. As a result, I am ashamed of neediness and often don't recognize my own needs. I also don't know how to tell if others are "being needy" or simply expressing a need.ARTArticle***Politicians Need Inner Bonding!How would our country change if politicians had to learn to love themselves and others before taking office? What if politicians had to be mentally evaluated before running for office? How many of them would pass as being emotionally stable and healthy? What difference might it make for our country if all politicians had to work through a program like SelfQuest before taking office?ARTArticle***Self-Care: Are You Resistant to Health and Fitness?Do you find yourself resisting or procrastinating taking loving care of yourself? ________________________________________ Of course you want to be healthy and fit! Who doesn't? But are you always motivated and willing to do what you need to do to create health and fitness?ARTArticle***Shyness________________________________________ Are you shy? Is your shyness getting in the way of your connection with others? ________________________________________ Have you struggled with being a shy person? Lily asks: "I try hard to overcome my shyness and reluctance to stand out, speak up and shine. It's a daily struggle for me. I make small progress, but can be easily derailed by a forceful personality. I know this comes from my overbearing, controlling father and meek mother. I want to shed the old hurts and stop being so timid. What do you suggest?"ARTArticle***Speaking Your Truth When it's HardHow often do you withhold the truth from someone important to you - your partner, friend, parent, child, co-worker - because you know he or she will get angry rather than care about you? How you do feel when you don't speak your truth about something that is important to you? It is likely that you feel depressed when you don't speak up for yourself. Not speaking up about something that is important to you is a way of ignoring your own feelings and needs, and very likely will lead to depression.ARTArticle***TAKE YOUR PROSAC, SEE YOUR SHRINK, THEN PUT ON YOUR RUNNING SHOESDepression and anxiety are, by far, the most common mental health problems. Nearly 20 percent of the US population struggles with or will struggle with one or both of these problems. The most common treatment today for these issues is medication—typically prescribed by the primary care physician (not a psychiatrist). This treatment is considered a Biological intervention, as the medication is designed to alter the individual's brain chemistry.ARTArticle***The Heart of HealingI have spent many years trying to discover the ONE thing - the one vital choice - that leads to healing and joy, or to suffering. Over 35 years ago I discovered an essential piece of the puzzle: that we each have only one to two intents at any given moment - to protect against pain and responsibility for it, or to open to learning from our pain and take responsibility for it. In other words - to learn from pain or to run from pain with our various addictions.ARTArticle***The Power of Knowing What You WantDiscover the great power in knowing what you want and not giving up. "What this power is, I cannot say. All I know is that it exists…and it becomes available only when you are in the state of mind in which you know exactly what you want…and are fully determined not to quit until you get it." ~Alexander Graham Bell, 1847-1922, Inventor and Educator ARTArticle***The Relationship Trap: "Let's Talk.""Let's talk tonight," said Callie. "Oh no, not again!" thought Darren as he gave Callie a blank stare, feeling like a deer in the headlights. Darren knew from past experience that "Let's talk," meant, "Let's talking about what you are doing wrong, and about how you are not meeting my needs, and about how hurt and unloved I feel."ARTArticle***What if You Knew That You Are Never AloneYour spiritual guidance is always here for you, but you need to know how to access it. Connecting with Spirit is simple, but not always easy. ________________________________________ What if you knew that you are never alone - that you are always being guided by a personal source of spiritual guidance? If you knew and experienced this, you would undoubtedly feel safe and peaceful most of the time.ARTArticle***When To Compromise…And When Not To CompromiseDiscover when compromise is healthy and when it's self-abandoning. Compromise! What does this word conjure up for you? Is it is a positive or negative word for you? Does it bring up a sense of loving resolution, or a sense of losing yourself and losing your integrity? When you think about compromising, what are you compromising? Are you compromising with a partner you love out of caring for yourself and your partner, or are you compromising yourself to control how your partner feels about you or reacts?ARTArticle***When You Love Yourself, You Love OthersAre you being selfish if you do what brings you joy, even if others don't like it? Do you feel trapped, believing you can't really take loving care of yourself without being unloving to others? One of the questions I often hear from my clients is, "If I take care of myself and do what brings me joy, aren't I being selfish?"ARTArticle***Where Kindness Comes FromDo you allow your natural kindness to shine forth? "Kindness is an inner desire that makes us want to do good things even if we do not get anything in return. It is the joy of our life to do them. When we do good things from this inner desire, there is kindness in everything we think, say, want and do." ~Emmanuel Swedenborg, 1688-1772, Scientist, Philosopher and Theologian ARTArticle***Why Can't I Commit?Do you have problems committing to a relationship, or are you involved with someone who has a fear of commitment? Louis wrote to me:ARTArticle***Why Racism?Discover some of the underlying causes of racism and what is necessary to heal this scourge of our society. I do not pretend to be an expert on what causes a person to be a racist, but I would like to explore some ideas based on the principles of Inner Bonding.ARTArticle***Why you Can’t Afford to Practice Without an Office AssistantFor the past twenty years when I present to mental health providers on how to develop, manage, and market a private practice I always ask members of the audience to raise their hand if they practice without an assistant. Depending on the group and location, typically half or even more of the providers acknowledge practicing solo. When I question why this is the case, the most common reason expressed is cost. My response is always the same: “You cannot afford to practice <u>without</u> an assistant.”ARTArticle5 Ways To Get Someone Who Doesn’t Know You To feel Comfortable TalkingYou have about ten seconds before a person decides, subconsciously, whether they like you or not. Also, the image or impression someone has of you the first time the person meets you will last the next seven time the person will come to meet you. All that to show how important and delicate it can be to start and connect with a new contact. Whether you are in business, jou alism, politics, or unemployed, it comes a time you need to solicit the service of attention of someone.ARTArticle7 Steps to Marriage ReconciliationHere are 7 steps to marriage reconciliation that will prayerfully put you and your spouse back on the right track. 1. Swallow Your Pride - The Bible says, pride comes before the fall. That means pride will always lead to your destruction. In this case, the destruction of your marriage. So take a long hard look at yourself. That's right. Even if you believe your partner is the blame for the breakdown of your marriage. Examine yourself to see what you could have done differently. Now accept responsibility for your actions and be willing to admit your mistakes.ARTArticleAchieve More By Getting More NOsSince the childhood we've come to believe that NO means we have to stop. We tend to believe that NO means failure. We came to believe that No is synonym of limit. how true is that? What is NO was nothing but the real doorway to success? Once he found the magic formula, Thomas Edison said: "I haven't failed. I've identified 10,000 ways this doesn't work." The Southweste top producer Dustin Hillis as another refraiming saying SW SW SW N meaning: Some Will, Some Won't, So What? NEXT.ARTArticleAddiction to DistractionsWhen we were growing up, we experienced many life situations that caused us deep heartbreak. Any time we lost someone we loved, or we were yelled at, ridiculed, shamed, ignored, not seen or connected with, physically or sexually abused, or treated in any other unloving ways, our little hearts broke. But we could not manage this intense heartbreak, so we had to learn various addictive ways of managing the feeling.ARTArticleAddiction to Spending"I keep getting into more and more debt, but I can't seem to stop. I do great for a while, and then I just have to go shopping and buy stuff. This is going to ruin my life if I don't stop, but how do I stop?" Mary Beth is addicted to spending. What does this mean and how can she stop?

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