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30 resources
ARTArticle***Addiction To Getting Things DoneDiscover when getting things done is healthy, and when it is unhealthy and obsessive.
There are many addictive ways that most of us have learned to avoid our painful feelings, and focusing on getting things done is often one of these ways.ARTArticle***Anger PowerDoes anger have power? Are you being powerful when you are angry? The answers to these questions depend on what you mean by power.ARTArticle***Are You Hiding?Do you hide from your feelings when you are challenged by life? Or do you allow your feelings to overwhelm you? You CAN learn to manage them and learn from them.
"The art of living lies not in eliminating but in growing with troubles." ~ Be
ard M. Baruch
"How can I get this pain to go away?"ARTArticle***Challenges of The Dating SceneDating provides many opportunities to learn and grow. Discover some of what you can learn that will be very valuable for you.
Franklin writes:ARTArticle***Connection: Our Deepest Desire________________________________________
We all deeply desire connection with others, but what is necessary for us to have this?
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When we were born, the most important thing to us was connection with our mother. We needed connection with her body for adequate sustenance. We needed emotional connection with her, or with someone, to feel safe, and to develop the ability to regulate our feelings. Connection with someone was essential to our physical survival and our emotional well being.ARTArticle***Disengaging From Your Family of Origin"Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother."
But what if your father and mother didn't honor you? What if instead of loving and honoring you they physically, sexually and emotionally abused you? What if you were scared every day of your growing up years? And what if, when you finally grow up and start to face the fact that your family of origin abused you, and through some therapy finally gain the courage to confront them with the abuse, they completely deny it and tell you that you are crazy? Do you stay in that family system or leave it?ARTArticle***Do You Wake Up Happy or Anxious?"I can have a really great day, but when I wake up the next morning I feel anxious. Sometimes the better day I've had, the more anxious I am the next morning. I can't figure it out."
I hear this over and over from my clients. What is happening here?
The Tyranny of the Ego Wounded SelfARTArticle***Does Psychotherapy Work?Many years ago, when I became a psychotherapist, all I knew was the traditional psychotherapy that I had learned in school, and that I had personally experienced with many different therapists and many different forms of therapy. For 18 years I practiced what I had learned, and I was never happy with the results.ARTArticle***Finding The Partner Of My Dreams________________________________________
Are you seeking the formula for attracting the partner of your dreams? Here it is!
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Rochelle asks:ARTArticle***From Casual To Committed: Secret Of Capturing His Heart through Personal TransformationA lot has changed since the publication of my book. I shared my personal story dealing with an emotionally unavailable man (EUM) I was seeing at the time. The friendship was great -we couldn't have bonded any tighter- but true to my own integrity as an author and coach (as per my own advice in the book), I moved on when I saw a greener pasture.
No drama. No crying. No emotional mess.ARTArticle***He Says He's Not Ready For A Relationship, Should I Agree To "Friends With Benefits" Instead?A fan wrote me a heartfelt email: Hi Katarina, me and my bf of almost 2 years broke up about 3 and a half months ago. It was not a bad break up, but he felt like he could not handle the pressure of a full-blown relationship. In the time that we have been apart I have learned a lot and recently we have started talking again.ARTArticle***Healing From InfidelityInfidelity is a huge challenge, but relationships can heal from this and actually become stronger.
Sheldon wrote this question to me during one of my free webinars:ARTArticle***How to be 'Free' to Attract Your Ideal MateI imagine that you are someone who has a strong desire to share your life with another. You want the camaraderie; love, passion and partnership Manifest the Love of Your Life that you imagine could be possible in an intimate relationship.
However, given the fact that you are not in a relationship, I would assert that something is in your way. Perhaps you have loved and failed, or loved and lost in the past, and you are afraid of repeating the same mistake.
I could say that you are not "FREE" to Attract Your Ideal Mate.ARTArticle***How To Become Irresistibly AttractivePart 1: Getting Down to What Really Matters
The foundation of attractiveness is not exte
al but internal and it is based on being clear and centered in your Self and your Purpose in Life. Often people think that there is a Purpose buried deep inside of them that they need to search a lifetime for and uncover. I believe that your Purpose is something you create and declare. It should light you up inside and inspire you to get up each day.
Try this exercise to help you develop your Purpose.
Recall a time when you were ecstatically happy.ARTArticle***How to Talk about SexAre you stuck in your relationship not being able to talk about sex, or getting into power struggles about sex?
Sean wrote in the following question on one of my free webinars about sexuality:ARTArticle***I'm Not Appreciated________________________________________
Learn what you can do when you don't feel appreciated by your partner.
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Chris wrote this question for one of my relationship webinars:
"What do you do when you feel you are not loved for who you are? How do you accept your relationship when you don't feel appreciated, or you think it's your fault for what happens in your life? How can you change your relationship? How can you make it better?"
There are two ways of dealing with this issue.
Explore WithinARTArticle***Is He Really Not That Into You Or Are Your Expectations Too Skewed?My editor Brenda who helped me edit my book out of her gratitude for the advice I have given him in the past dealing with her own emotionally unavailable man, told everyone how profoundly transformational my book is.ARTArticle***Is Your Partner Always Pointing Out Your Flaws?Some people believe that it is caring to point out their partner's flaws - that it will help to make that person a better person. But the intent behind pointing out flaws is not loving - it is controlling.
Pointing Out Flaws
By pointing out flaws, you hope that your partner will let go of the things that you don't like and become more the person you want him or her to be. Now, be honest with yourself - is it working?
Your partner might have one of two major responses to your judgments.ARTArticle***Living Alone Can Kill You________________________________________
Loneliness is a huge problem in our society. It doesn't have to be this way.
________________________________________ARTArticle***Loneliness versus Solitude________________________________________
Do you often crave solitude, or is being alone too lonely for you? There is an inherent reason for these differences.
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"Language has created the word 'loneliness' to express the pain of being alone, and the word 'solitude' to express the glory of being alone." –Benjamin Tillett
I find this quote very interesting in the light of recent research on introversion and extroversion.ARTArticle***My Husband is Not Sexual________________________________________
Are you in a relationship with a man who is not sexual? You are not alone!
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In a question to me on one of my webinars, Melanie writes: "My husband is very loving, but not very sexual. I've tried to talk to him about this many times in non-threatening ways, but his lack of enthusiasm toward sex makes it very difficult to engage myself when he finally does get around to feeling sexual. We have zero intimacy mentally and very little physically."rARTArticle***Overweight and Miserable________________________________________
Are you tired of being overweight and food addicted? There is a way to heal.
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Pamela writes this question for my webinar on food addiction:ARTArticle***Relationships: Cheating"Why would my boyfriend cheat on me?"
"I'm pretty sure my wife is cheating on me. I want to know why."
"I know that my husband has been cheating on me for years. I don't get why he does this."
Why do people cheat on their partners? Why do others have affairs that their partners know about?
Here are some of the reasons for cheating that I have encountered in my many years of counseling.ARTArticle***Staying Centered in Conflict________________________________________
Are you conflict-avoidant? Does conflict terrify you? Discover how to heal this.
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Angela writes:ARTArticle***The Art of Conversation________________________________________
Do you have mostly one-way or two-way conversations? What kind of conversationalist are you?
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What happens in your conversations with people? The kind of conversation you have with someone says a lot about both you and them.
There are mainly two kinds of conversations: one-way conversations and two-way conversations.
One-Way ConversationsARTArticle***The Art of Setting BoundariesDiscover what a boundary is and what it isn't.
Merilee wrote the following question to me in one of my relationship webinars:
"Hi Dr. Paul -- One of my biggest struggles is being open to giving and receiving love, but also setting boundaries. I want to be loving, not controlling, but I don't want people to say or treat me in ways that I don't like. How to reconcile?"ARTArticle***The Challenge of ConflictDo you try to control during conflict, or are you conflict avoidant? Neither works well to resolve conflict. Discover what does work!ARTArticle***The Difference betwee
Daydreaming and ImaginingOur imagination is a great gift - a connection with our Divine Source - when we use it from an inwardly connected loving Adult to create the life we want.ARTArticle***The Foundation for Abundance________________________________________
Are you aware of the vast difference between expressing gratitude from your ego wounded self or from your loving adult self?
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"Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance."~Eckhart Tolle, Author of The Power of Now
How often do you feel genuinely grateful for what you have in your life?
There is a big difference between acting grateful and feeling genuine gratitude in your heart.ARTArticle***The Key to a Great RelationshipThis will not be new news to you - however, please keep reading. The Key to a Great Relationship is Authenticity - read on to know what I mean by this.