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ARTArticleThe Bullying EpidemicAs I was watching yet another news story on bullying, I just wanted to crawl into the tv and say, “Why can’t you see the solution??” I felt like I had bought my glasses from a different store than anyone else! Our children are not born bullies…a phrase that I hope one day becomes a mantra for every single parent, teacher, coach and person working with kids.ARTArticleThe Difference Between Jealousy, Covetousness, and Envy in RelationshipsMany relationships have been destroyed over the jealousy issue. However, sometimes it isn't so much jealousy but envy and covetousness that is the real root of the problem. Here is a brief definition of each before we get into a lager discussion of these. Jealousy - The fear of losing something that you feel already belongs to you. Covetousness - The desire of that which is not yours and currently unattainable as it belongs to someone else or lies outside your ability to get.ARTArticleThe Disappearing LoverThe Disappearing Loverr By DR. GILDA CARLE (Ph.D.) Courtesy of Match.com’s Happen Magazine ? http://www.happenmag.com/magazine/index.aspx?lid=396 Dear Dr. Gilda, I am 36, a professionally successful divorced woman who has a lot of affection for my boyfriend. But I don’t even know if we have a relationship; he disappears from time to time. He is gone for weeks and then he comes back saying he thought about things and I am the best one for him. I don’t think he is seeing other women, though I can never be sure.ARTArticleThe Extinction of the Male! Really?In a recent conversation a scientist friend of ours mentioned that researchers have indicated the extinction of the male within a thousand years or so. This had our heads chu ing. What would need to change in order to divert the reality of such a prognosis? Here is what we came up with:ARTArticleThe Greatest Gift You Can Give Children - Wherever You Are, Be There!I believe most of us have what it takes to be genuinely great parents; regardless if we have been separated, divorced or attempting to co-parent. More often than not, it is through our efforts to juggle an already rather hectic lifestyle that we neglect some of the most crucial aspects of parenting. Beyond the basic requirements of love, nurturing, food, clothing, shelter, and education, the next layer involves four key elements. These four key elements are: Time, Structure, Stimulation, and Protection. Today's article is to look at Time.ARTArticleThe Greatest Reason Why Marriages Struggle To Recover From ProblemsEvery couple will have their ups and downs. But more and more marriages struggle to recover from problems, issues, and difficulties. Many marriages survive these problems, but they don’t recover. They are like a volcano sealed with a plastic lid. It won’t hold. It will explode. But why? There are basically three reasons why marriages fail: 1. Lack of knowledge. 2. Lack of character to implement the knowledge possessed. 3. And, most important, the inner emotional wounds have never been healed. This third reason is the one that prevents marriages from recovering.ARTArticleThe Illusion of a Picture-Perfect Marriage: How to Know When Yours Is MaturingWhile I enjoy the movies, I get sick and tired of seeing marriage portrayed as a perfect relationship, where nothing’s ever wrong. Marriages portrayed on the Silver Screen are fairytale perfect: the couple is happy, healthy, never has anything wrong with them, and seems to have everything going for them. Behind the scenes, it may be a different story.ARTArticleThe Importance of making Time for One AnotherNo matter if you are married, live together, live apart from each other, or you are in a long distance relationship; it is important to make some time for just the two of you. Our days can be filled quickly with the day to day responsibilities of work, family and household duties. Those responsibilities can quickly consume your day and night and before you know it, your free time exists only in your sleep. We can get so tired and worn out from everything else, that by the time you can enjoy each other’s company, all you can do is say goodnight at best.ARTArticleThe Importance of Presenting a United Front Before Your ChildrenConflicting authority is the largest contributor to rebellion in children. When parents--authority--conflict it can cause rebellion in your children. You, as parents, need to have a united front for your children. Here are some tips on how this can be done. Rebellion is the result of conflicting authority. When authority can't provide a united front, it is very dangerous. There are several things you can do to provide a unified front before your kids. 1. Discuss rules and discipline together. Come to a full agreement on all aspects of it--before you implement them. 2.ARTArticleThe Invalidated Child - Part 1PART 1: This article is a series of articles on invalidation, including the experiences of a child or parent that has been invalidated and how parents, professionals and practitioners can validate children to make a difference to their outcomes. The invalidated child can seem like an enigma and is easily misunderstood. They come from all backgrounds, walks of life, race, culture and class in society. An invalidated child can look like a child that is: -Misbehaving -Difficult -Seeking attention -Sabotaging their own success -Withdrawn -Attempting suicide -Self harmingr ARTArticleThe Key to Having a Successful Long Distance RelationshipAs you go through your journey of attracting a good man you may meet a man who doesn’t live in your city. Because of online dating, this seems to be the new norm. Depending on how you and your new date hit it off, it may eventually turn into a long distance relationship. I’ve been in a long distance relationship before and it can be very stressful. It also will ONLY work if both persons involved are willing to do what it takes to make it work.ARTArticleThe Kids are with Me or You - but not Her!It's normal, it's real, and it's understandable ... so what's the answer? We all think it - and most of us say it when we share children with an Ex who has a new partner. The phrase 'the kids are with me or you - but not her' is equally valid when read "but not him" in place of her however 'her' just seems to be more common so for simplicity sake, I'll write with framing our stepmothers but this certainly does not exclude stepfathers.ARTArticleThe Main Causes of Your Irrational AngerPeople often get angry and many times they don't even know why they get angry. As a counselor, I've dealt with many people who are genuinely puzzled why they got so angry. Have you ever gotten angry over something small, stupid, or just plain silly? Have you ever sat down later and felt frustration over why you got angry to begin with? This article is for you. There are two reasons why you may get angry over what may be nothing. We'll look at both of them and see what we can learn. THE FEAR OF SOMETHING I don't necessarily mean the frantic, horror film type fear.ARTArticleThe Nature Of A MisunderstandingMisunderstandings are perhaps the single greatest source of our arguments and fights with each other. They occur for many reasons. Understanding where they come from and how to avoid them will go a long way to strengthen relationships and avoid fights. It is important to understand what constitutes a misunderstanding. We've all experienced someone confusing our intentions with what we said. We've all had someone misquote what we said. It's frustrating. Interestingly enough, the majority of arguments begin with a misunderstanding.ARTArticleThe Process of Healing a Broken HeartLoss of sleep, an ache deep in the bit of your stomach, frequent tears, a heart seems to get heavier as the days go on, depression, and feelings of isolation and abandonment are all signs of a broken heart. How, if possible, do you heal from a broken heart? There is no quick fix. If you are looking for a magic wand, some spoofal dust, or something like that you won't find it. Healing from a broken heart is a process, very similar, actually, to that of grieving for a loved one that has died.r ARTArticleThe Relationship Between Fear And AngerOur greatest fears are the result of what we do not understand. Our minds have the capacity to create the worst scenario possible for a given situation. This creates fear. Fear, more often than not, creates anger. Fear of the unknown is akin to the fear of loss. When we don’t understand something we fear that it will in some way rob us of things we hold important. For example, suppose that a strange man calls up wanting to talk to your wife and he refuses to explain why or identify himself. This unknown typically generates fear in your mind.ARTArticleThe Shift to Conscious ParentingWe always have a choice, in every given moment, to be, act and communicate in whatever way we do, however, most of the time we do it unconsciously. We’ve heard it, read it or have said it many times…kids don’t come with a manual and we all do the best we can with what we know!ARTArticleThe Six Elements of a Winning Dating ProfileFor a while now I’ve been working on finding the essential elements that you must include in an online profile. After reading hundreds of books on psychology, philosophy and attraction, I’ve come up with these six fundamentals. I strongly believe they need to be conveyed properly if you’re going to get a date. You should be able to look at your profile and see if they’re there. They’re in no particular order. 1. Mystery/Mystiquer ARTArticleThe Ten Christian Principles For A Successful MarriageI’ve counseled and been the pastor of marriages for years. In all that time, I have come to realize what makes a successful marriage. Any marriage, and I mean any marriage, that follows these ten principles will be successful. Yes, these are Christian principles. Here are the Ten Principles for a successful marriage. A summary of each will follow: - Unless God is allowed to be the Chief Architect of my marriage, I can’t get the marriage I want. (Psalms 127:1, 128:1-6) - Communication is the medium through which all love, growth, and grace must flow.ARTArticleThe Three 'Magic' Questions To Save Your MarriageFor years, as a Pastor and counselor, I've had to figure out how to save someone's marriage. Here is a short formula that I use to find out where the problems may truly lie, and knowing them, I can recommend a plan on what needs to be done to fix the broken relationship. You can follow it for yourself right now. This process is best done with an impartial third party, whose sole interest is your marriage, not taking sides. However, if there is no one to do that, the couple could follow this procedure separately and then trade results.ARTArticleThe Worst Thing You Can Do When Your Heart is BrokenWhen someone breaks your heart, you have an immediate tendency to do the very worst thing possible. It is almost a knee jerk reaction that often hinders your ability to heal and lengthens the time you'll hurt. This article addresses the absolute worst thing you can do when your heart is broken. You either are hurt or will have your heart broken eventually. This is the price of love. Yet when it happens to you the absolute worst thing you can do is wall yourself off from people.ARTArticleThree Attributes of Someone Slow to AngerThe key to control of your anger is to be slow to anger. No one can turn anger on and off like a light switch. But having a very, very long fuse is the key to anger management. There are three attributes that are common, however, to someone that is slow to anger. GRACIOUS People who have learned to be gracious are very hard to offend and are often very slow to anger. To be gracious is the ability to allow someone else to go before you. But it is more than that.ARTArticleThree Years of TearsDear Dr. Neder I am hopelessly in love with a girl I met 3 years ago at a concert. She means the world to me! I’d give up the rest of my life to spend one night with her on a more than friend level. She has a Boyfriend but I truly care for her. I've tried to move on to different girls but I always end up talking to her after the end of the last relationship. She knows how I feel because I’ve told her. We’ve kissed and made-out and it was magic. She tells me if anything would happen between her and her boyfriend that she would come to me. I feel second best but I don’t care.ARTArticleTips On Getting Your Children To Listen To YouGetting your kids to listen to you can be a problem at times. Undoubtedly, you've tried a variety of methods from shouting, finger pointing, scowling, threatening, and the famous counting to ten. Kids seem to tune out your words if your tone is saying something else. Your tone of voice carries a tremendous amount of meaning to your children. Every child is different, of course, and you'll have to figure out exactly what will work for your unique, special, and totally different child. Here are some rules of thumb that I've found useful: 1.ARTArticleTips To Effectively Communicate In RelationshipsINTRODUCTION Communication skills are not necessarily intrinsic to our nature. It is true that some people possess a talent for communication, but everyone can learn to communicate effectively with our without a natural talent to do so. It merely takes knowledge and practice. All of the tips given here are meant to be practiced and studied. Communication is much like any other skill. It must be developed. Possessing the ability to speak does not mean the possession of the skill to speak well. Communication is the cornerstone of all relationships.ARTArticleTo speak ill of your Ex with your child says "I love you, but biologically you're 50% a jerk!"Speaking poorly of your child's other parent is one of the largest issues overlooked by co-parents - and yet it is one of the easiest for you to resolve. The reasons (or should I say excuses) that it is acceptable to slag off about your Ex to your children are numerous and yet the confusion that it causes in their life is immeasurable.ARTArticleValentine’s Day - 5 Romantic Ways to Create Love & Romance in your BedroomSight, sound, touch, smell and taste – these are our five senses which we are going to use to create love and romance in your bedroom this Valentine’s.ARTArticleWhat Children Can Teach Their ParentsEvery parent has experienced the phenomena of their child begging for their favourite story to read, their favourite song to be played or their favourite movie to be watched for the 100th time. Even though we adults might be tempted to hide the favourite book or introduce a new book, CD, or DVD, we must stop ourselves because our children are actually teaching us a huge lesson about how they want and need to be parented.ARTArticleWhat Is a Real Friend?For most people having friends is having someone who likes them. And it is true, that a friend will certainly like you, but being popular-which is the goal of most people seeking friendship-is not the same as having a real friend. If your goal is to be popular, be with the in crowd, be well known or well liked, most of your relationships will be shallow. They will come and go like a butterfly, flitting here and there without any real purpose or substance. The need to be liked is very powerful. But it is often a shallow victory to be considered with the 'in crowd'.ARTArticleWhat is Genital HerpesHerpes is a disease that affects millions of Americans every day. In fact one in five people have genital herpes and eight in ten have oral herpes or those cold sores you get on your lips every few months. That’s right it’s basically the same thing. Genital herpes is caused by a strain of the herpes simplex virus called HSV-2. Its symptoms vary from either really noticeable blister on and around the genitals to redness like a rash to nothing at all. People often don’t know they have genital herpes because the symptoms are so mild or non-existent.

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