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ARTArticleDivorce & Parenting: Bashing Your Ex is Bad News for Your ChildrenWe all do it from time to time. Make a sarcastic comment about our ex, criticize something they did or didn’t do, gesture or grimace our faces when referring to our former spouse. When we do it in front of, near or within hearing distance of our children, we set ourselves up for a hornet’s nest ...ARTArticleDo We Need Anxiety? Thoughts for Entering the New YearRemember the last time you listened to a great piece of music? For some pieces, the music gradually increases in intensity until it reaches a crescendo, the loudest or most exciting part, and then resolves.
As the music builds and fades, so does your own feeling of excitement. A crescendo is like the climax of a story, or the inspirational moment in a good speech.
Maybe you've also heard a song with no crescendo. It doesn't go anywhere. Without a rise in intensity music might be relaxing, but it's often boring.ARTArticleDo You Love an Alcoholic?Alcohol abuse and alcoholism are so pervasive that about a third of Americans have someone close to them who has the problem. This means legions of people have relationships that are stressful at best, and damaging at worst. If your spouse is an alcoholic then alcoholism is bound to affect you as well.
The Problem for Partners of AlcoholicsARTArticleEmotional Leadership“All we have to fear is fear itself.” We’ve heard President F.D. Roosevelt’s quote so often, it risks being trite. But I think this was an example of his effort to provide the nation with emotional leadership in a dour time.
All we really have to fear is blind refusal to understand how ...ARTArticleEmpowerment in Recession: Get the Message and ThriveDoes your spine tingle with dread when the post arrives? Is your credit card red-hot from constant use? Do you have nightmares about queuing for the dole? If the current economic crisis has fanned your financial fears into full-blown panic, then it’s time to take a look at what’s really going on.
In a crisis like this, we blame the banks, bad investments and dodgy government. We feel powerless, angry and resentful about what’s been done to us, beyond our control. But what we don’t realise is that the real culprit lies much closer to home.ARTArticleEncouragement for Young Single MomsI have been a single mom for 12 years. I had both of my children outside of marriage and they are from different men. I could be ashamed and for a long time I was. I could barely hold my head up on some days. It seemed like everyone was looking down on me and criticizing me about my life ...ARTArticleEvery Month Should Be Child Abuse Prevention Month!Every month should be Child Abuse Prevention Month. As a parent educator, mother of three children and former preschool teacher, I am appalled by the growing rate of child abuse, neglect, maltreatment and murders in our country.
Why is it that, in a country such as ours, where we are always ...ARTArticleFear Of Commitment - Are You As Strong As This Woman?Are you facing a relationship – or even a NON-relationship – that is prevented from moving forward due to fear of commitment? Have you taken any steps to try to confront and banish this fear, or, like many women, do you resort to needy behavior such as clinging or unproductive displays of anger?
As women, we are often taught to approach things within a relationship in a manner that is 100% the opposite of helpful behavior.ARTArticleFEAR OF LONG TERM COMMITMENT?FEAR OF LONG TERM COMMITMENT?
THE SHORT TERM COMMITMENT SOLUTION
Dear Renee
I have a fear of long term commitment. I’m still building my career and I find most women want me to make long term plans. I’m not a player but making a life long commitment scares me. I’m not ready for marriage right now and yet I want to be intimate with the woman I date. Do I have a problem?
Help! Any suggestions?
Dear fear of commitment,
You do not have a problem …you are clear on your current phase in life! You are building your career and long term is not right for you right now!ARTArticleFind a Husband In 52 Weeks An Keep Him For AlwaysHaving that desirable need to want to find a husband can kind of sound desperate. To me it is MOST important that you do not go rushing into anything that may cause you some long term difficulties. It is and can be a sad world out there, I have seen so much of girls getting hurt. Getting left with children on there own. Struggling with the hand they got dealt...
You may want to find a husband to settle down with in 52 weeks! That is all good. I am just saying slow down to do it once and do it right. If you do that you could have the husband you want and deserve in no time flat.ARTArticleFour Steps to Avoid Playing the Blame and Shame GameWhen you have something important to share with your sweetie, but feel like all you want to do is blame him (or her) here is exactly what you need to move forward.
Take these 4 steps with ease:
1. Take 5-10 minutes to journal what you are upset about (don't skip this very important step!)
2. Re-read what you wrote and highlight every "you" or "s/he" and change them to "I" (this is called "the turn-a-round" according to Byron Katie's The Work)
3. Look over the "I" statements and find nuggets of truth (leave the rest)ARTArticleGENDER AND IDENTITYInspired by the life of Lana Wachowski:
Gender is defined as a set of characteristics – masculine, feminine or neuter, while Gender Identity is a person’s sense of and private experience of their own gender.
Transgender suggests that the state of one’s gender identity does not match one’s assigned sexual gender, usually based on physical characteristics – anatomy.ARTArticleGuidelines On How To Save Your Marriage - Putting your Relationship Back in controlMarriage can certainly be full of pleasure, but it can also be full of pain. For many people, it seems the happiness has actually been gone for so long that it's impossible to ever get it back. Even so it doesn't have to be like that. When considering how to save your marriage, there are several of things you should and shouldn't do to start getting your relationship back in control. However you have to be willing to look at yourself and make the required changes. Changes isn't easy, but if how to save your marriage in fact a priority to you, then carry on reading.ARTArticleHelping Parents Help Children Who Are Afraid of the DarkIn this article I will briefly describe how to solve bedtime problems when your child is afraid of the dark.
There are two approaches to fear. The first is to avoid what scares you (the dark in this instance), the second is to face it with help and reassurance. The first approach seems to lead to a life of being mastered by your fears; the second seems to lead to the possibility of being master of your fears. I know what I want for my child – the latter. If you are like me, the following advice on how to solve bedtime problems due to fear of darkness may be helpful.ARTArticleHoliday High Anxiety—Times TwoPeople suffering from anxiety are often proponents of Murphy’s Law—anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Around the holidays, when we are so busy with many more tasks than usual, there is more potential for something to go wrong. And for couples, one or both of whom may be anxious, that goes double.rARTArticleHow to Empty Your Basket of ResentmentAre you ready to go deeper into working on your relationship? Ready to learn how to clear a withhold? Yep. That's right -- a "withhold" - something you are holding back from sharing with your sweetie.
You know...how you were angry that he left the toilet seat up? Or she didn't buy your favorite kind of cereal but a "store-brand" instead? How many times will she walk past the laundry without folding it and didn't he say he was going to rake the lawn before our first snowfall????? Ugh!!!ARTArticleHow to Get Great Results with Online DatingI usually stay away from the subject of single mom dating. There are plenty of other bloggers that talk about this subject. But I’d like to share what has worked for me in the past. I got great results and a great friend using this method. Your mileage may vary so use your own instincts and ...ARTArticleInsurance Must-Haves for Solo ParentsFor many people, insurance is a big part of their financial plans regardless of their status. But for a single mom like me, it is a necessity. If there is anything that single parents shouldn’t be without, it’s a contingency plan. Having only one person taking care of the family means there is ...ARTArticleIntroduction to "Conscious Dating"I know you must be wondering what on earth do I mean by "Conscious Dater" you are thinking yes I have had some lousy dates but I honestly can't remember falling asleep on any of them!
With the understanding of how stress impacts our overall health and well being, it would only be wise to address one of the leading causes of emotional and physical stress on this planet - dating and relating.ARTArticleIntroduction to Positive Toddler ParentingHere are a few tips to define success, integrate your parenting goals into your daily activities, and shift your thought process to be more proactive and less reactive:
1. Appreciate your child’s unique personality and talents. Children come into the world with their own personality. While we ...ARTArticleIs Divorce Short-circuiting your Health?Can the emotional firestorm you are experiencing during divorce make you sick?
Not only can divorce make you sick emotionally, it can definitely impact your health in many negative ways.
In his book, Deadly Emotions, Don Colbert, M.D. explains that "The body cannot differentiate between stress that physical factors cause and stress that emotional factors cause. Stress is stress."ARTArticleJourney to a Better RelationshipThe symbol for a journey towards a better relationship is a spiral. Growth itself is also a journey. Look at the center of a spiral, this is where life begins. As we walk on our journey we soon come to a challenge and descend into the shadow side.
This is where we face our fears, learn our lessons and begin to seek the light. We often do not notice the sun high in the sky on a bright summer day. But when we walk outside on a dark night we are drawn to the shiny stars, which are like pinholes in the night sky.ARTArticleKeep Those Resolutions with Your PartnerWhen you make New Year’s resolutions, do you feel defeated before you start? Many people don’t even bother to articulate resolutions since so many often fail. But if you make resolutions with your partner, you can support each other, and your chances of success improve significantly.ARTArticleListen to the Youth - a whisper from a loving heartIn connection with my fan page "Conscious Parenting" on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/ConsciousParents?ref=ts&fref=ts I am contacted daily by youth in despair, via my private mail. They ask for my guidance,support and understanding.
They want me to explain to them how humanity acts and thinks. They are confused about that, they are not being accepted for what they are.With my LOVE,I give of my time to support them via Skype or email.ARTArticleListen Up (2013)Ever heard the expression “Listen up?” Sometimes coaches say it when their team is in a huddle. They want everyone to pay particular attention to their message. Listen up. Lift your chin up; direct your gaze up into my eyes. Listen carefully and hear what I’m saying. Listen up.
How often do you feel like your partner is not hearing what you’re saying? Or maybe your partner’s voice has become all too familiar to you and it’s become too easy to tune out. Maybe you do it unconsciously.
The Listening ProblemARTArticleListen Up (2013), Part 2Couples who learn to actively, mindfully listen to one another have a better chance of having a deep, intimate relationship. It makes sense: When you listen well enough to understand your partner’s point of view, you understand him or her better, and the bond between you strengthens.
So how do you become a masterful listener?ARTArticleLost That Lovin Feeling?If the love in your marriage is gone find out where it went. Really! Where did it go? Love isn’t like a pair of keys that you’ve put down somewhere and can’t find. It’s not like the remote control that could possibly be buried between the cushions of the couch. Really now. I’ve never heard the question “who has the love? I can’t find it anywhere in this house!” Or what about a statement like “I can’t find my darn love.ARTArticleLove and Romance: #1 Tip for Creating the Relationship of Your Dreams"As you continue to send out love, the energy returns to you in a regenerating spiral... As love accumulates, it keeps your system in balance and harmony. Love is the tool, and more love is the end product."rn~Sara Paddin Hidden Power of the Heart
Love and romance are in the air along with spring's promise of newness. Whether in a relationship or single and seeking - now is the time to learn how to make it a luscious love affair. It's so exciting!ARTArticleLove and Romance: #1 Tip for Creating the Relationship of Your Dreams"As you continue to send out love, the energy returns to you in a regenerating spiral... As love accumulates, it keeps your system in balance and harmony. Love is the tool, and more love is the end product."n~Sara Paddin Hidden Power of the Heart
Love and romance are in the air along with ...ARTArticleManaging Your Finances During DivorceDivorce may be considered one of the most stressful time for any family going through it. It can be stressful emotionally and financially. Objectively, any divorce can be settled with less problems and stress. However, due to the height of emotions, both spouses can be unreasonable and ...