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ARTArticleWhen ‘Sorry’ Is Not EnoughApologies are an important component of repairing a relationship, but they only work if the apology is heartfelt. Saying “I’m sorry you feel that way,” or “I’m sorry you misunderstood,” may only exacerbate the problem and make your partner madder. For an apology to begin to work, it must be absolutely sincere. Even then, an apology alone may not be enough to put things back together and make the relationship right again.ARTArticleWhen Is It Okay to Lie?“A truth that’s told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.” – William Blake
In recent articles I’ve talked about the importance of honest communication in good relationships. It’s essential that our partners understand us, know how we feel, how we might react to certain situations. We share our most intimate thoughts with our partners because we feel a fundamental need to have someone close to us who gets us—in all our complexities. Who loves us for who we really are. Or maybe despite who we are.ARTArticleWhy Do We Lie to the Ones We Love?We don’t want to lie. We love our partner. We understand a good relationship is built on trust, and that trust depends on our honesty. But sometimes we lie anyway. Why do we do it?
For one thing, we’re not perfect. Our partners expect certain behavior from us (and we from them) and when we fail—because nobody’s perfect—we lie about it. What are our choices? We can tell our partners that we didn’t live up to their expectations, and that would disappoint them. Make them feel bad, and we’d feel bad too. We don’t want to do that so we make something up that’s a more acceptable story. We lie.rARTArticle"I'm Sorry": Expressing Regret the Right WayWhen conflict arises, are you the person who's quick to apologize, wanting to sweep everything under the rug so the tension goes away? Or are you the one who tends to hold that hurt for a while, allowing the offensive words to gain a life of their own?
Most of us identify with one approach or the other when arguments happen in love. The problem is neither response leads to a true reconciliation that enhances the relationship, leading to a better understanding of each other.ARTArticle***A Bullying DilemmaAnswering the knock on my back door one afte
oon, I faced a woman new to me. “I want you to make your sons stop bullying my son,” she stated simply.
I was shocked. My children were not bullies. I could see her car parked in the street with her son sitting in the passenger seat. I then saw my fourth grade identical twin sons standing in our driveway looking guilty as sin. Even though I found what this woman was saying hard to believe, I could see in my children’s faces that something was amiss.ARTArticle***Abstinence & Consent – Do They Belong Together?How discussing consent is the ultimate way to discuss abstinence with teens.
Throughout the country, some parents and educators are saying, “Our schools believe in discussing abstinence. Won’t teaching teenagers about consent lead to more sexual activity among those same teenagers?” Teaching consent stresses establishing personal standards, respecting boundaries, and always understanding the importance of having a choice.ARTArticle***Are You a Sculptor or a Gardener?How do you describe your job as a parent? Do the tasks include protector and supporter providing food, warmth, and comfort? Do you see yourself as the guide and advisor for your child as she moves from childhood, through adolescents and into young adulthood? No matter what your child’s age or stage you probably consider your job to include all of these ideas and more.ARTArticle***How Is Peaceful Parenting® Different?Peaceful Parenting® ideas are very different from other kinds of parenting practices that you have learned or read about. Certainly it is harder to practice Peaceful Parenting® than to simply threaten or bribe your child into following your directions or making what you consider to be the “right” choices. But what is the heart of the difference betwee
Peaceful Parenting® and other programs?ARTArticle***How to help children learn to shareMost children are not sharers naturally. They do not come into the world ready, willing and able to share. There are those wonderful, rare exceptions (My own twin sons are an example. But then they started out sharing a womb so maybe that contributed to the idea of sharing.)ARTArticle***Is the Law of Attraction NOT working for you?If you are suffering from a law of attraction inferiority complex, don’t feel bad, you are not alone!
You have probably heard just think positively and your life will change. You will get the girl or the guy, the great career, the car, the money etc.
And you try to do this for awhile but those pesky thoughts keep creeping in. And then something bad happens and you think- why bother? This is just not working for me. There is something wrong with me. And you end up feeling worse. Like a law of attraction failure!ARTArticle#1 Tool to Help Your Relationship: Sharing AppreciationsIn this article I'd like to take the conscious communication tools a bit deeper -- and teach you how to skillfully share one of THE MOST VALUABLE love tools: Sharing Appreciations. But not just any old appreciations, any old time -- it needs to be 'right' in order to pierce your sweetie's heart (and that feels oh-so-good to receive!) Let's move from "ho hum to yum!"
3 Step Path to Opening Your Heart:ARTArticle3 Things You Can Do in the Next 20 Minutes to Improve Your Child's Problem BehaviorIf I got your attention your probably somewhere between desperate for solutions for your horribly behaved child to mildly interested in learning some parenting tricks to have at the ready for the next time your sweet angel thinks she's in charge at the grocery store. Either way, by the time you've finished this article you'll have 3 new solutions!ARTArticle7 Money Tips for Single Moms (and the Redbox Code)The relationship between single moms and money is turbulent. Her struggle to get more to take care of her family seems endless and the more she tries it seems the more illusive it becomes. But a bigger issue with money is how to manage what she has and discover new ways to get a little (or lot) ...ARTArticle7 Steps to a Passionate, Authentic Life!Does this article title turn you on? No, I don’t mean in that way. I mean does it stir something up inside you that makes you want to jump up and shout “YES!” You aren’t alone. We are all looking for that muse that can inspire more creative juices into our work and relationships. We all want to ...ARTArticleA Better Relationship with YourselfAfter working with people for over 10 years, I have found that what happens to us is not as important as how we process what has happened. As children our parents and other adults tell us white-lies or keep secrets from us in order to protect us. This creates confusion between what we feel inside in response to a given experience and what we are being told on the outside. A struggle between keeping ourselves safe and letting ourselves be vulnerable, so we can love, occurs.ARTArticleA Formula for Relieving Relationship StressRelationships, which are the spice of life, often create feelings of inadequacy and pain which interfere with the sense of well-being that we all strive for. When faced with interpersonal conflict, we tend to either blame ourselves or the other.
There is a third way. Accept the ...ARTArticleA Tool for Conscious CommunicationDo you wish you could tell your partner what you are feeling more easily? Are you looking for a way to have a productive conversation without playing the blame and shame game? Do your "discussions" sometimes last into the wee hours of the night leaving you exhausted the next day?
When you have something important to share with your sweetie, you need these 4 simple steps:
1. Choose the right time for 'you' to have the conversation (consider your time & your energy level)
2. Ask your partner if s/he is willing to talk at that time
3. Be willing to hear 'no' and ask for a better timerARTArticleAlcoholismThe most severe form of problem drinking is alcoholism. This goes beyond alcohol abuse—alcoholics physically depend on alcohol to function. Without it, your body responds with withdrawal symptoms like the shakes, depression, nausea, irritability, sweating, anxiety. These are serious danger signs indicating you need help.
The ProblemARTArticleAlcoholism and Alcohol AbuseDid you grow up in a household where cocktail hour was a nightly affair? Do you cope with stress by having a glass of wine? Or two? Do your friends drink heavily?ARTArticleAttempting a Better Relationship After DivorceBetter relationship? The Chicago Cubs? You may be asking what the two have in common. Back in 2003, it was extremely disappointing watching the 7th game between the Chicago Cubs and the Florida Marlins. The game started out great and somewhere along the way, it headed south. There were many Cub fans, myself included, that were left in dismay and disbelief that the Cubs did not advance to the World Series.
The Cubs had not won a World Series since the early 1900's and many people would often talk about a curse that was placed on the ballclub a long time ago.ARTArticleBetter Community Equals a Better RelationshipWith divorce being at epidemic proportions, couples today are seeking ways to have a better relationship and prevent becoming part of the statistics. Reports have shown that over a 40 year period, 6-7 out of 10 marriages will end up in divorce. These numbers also do not represent divorce statistics for 2nd marriages which have proven to be much higher.
The search for tools to combat this growing trend has spawned a multitude of relationship experts, self help books, workshops and seminars, each claiming to offer tips and strategies in creating a better relationship.ARTArticleBorderline Personality Disorder: What Does It Mean?What does it mean to have a borderline personality disorder (BPD)? Basically a person with this condition has unstable or turbulent emotions that can sometimes make them act on impulse and encounter trouble in their relationships.
So what else is new? Don’t we all have a certain amount of instability in our lives? Don’t we all get emotional at times? But if you have this disorder, the issues are severe and you have long-term patterns of disruption such as:
Mood swings and intense emotionsrARTArticleChild Molester or Pedophile - Is there a difference and what drives them?Sexual abuse of children is not a new problem, nor have the statistics changed. “1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 14; 1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 16.” (Hopper, J. (1998). Child Sexual Abuse: Statistics, Research, & Resources. Boston, MA Boston University School of Medicine.) This issue is as old as time, but we are finally paying attention to it in a new way. Whether it is in the church, sports, boys clubs, schools or families, there have always been environmental pockets in society that foster these deviants.ARTArticleCo-Parenting with a Frosty Ex during the HolidaysFor many parents who are divorced or in the process of going through divorce, holidays are especially challenging to navigate through without losing your cool. As you begin to prepare for the holidays by filling up your freezer full of turkey and pies, it is also wise to prepare ahead of time for the hot-button issues you expect will come right along with the tinsel and tree lights.ARTArticleCreate Stunning Christmas Greeting CardsA big part of any Christmas celebration is getting in touch with people, whether they are friends or family, whom you might have drifted away from during the rest of the year. The whole celebration is the perfect excuse to renew acquaintances and let people know that they’re always in your thoughts, and sending merry Christmas greeting cards is a vital part of this.ARTArticleDating Tips for Women from Christian Carter - Attraction Sparking Conversation!One of the questions that Christian Carter addresses in his Catch Him and Keep him eBook is how to have a conversation with a man in a way to promote attraction, especially when you first meet. In the Catch Him and Keep Him eBook, Christian Carter gives women several examples of attraction building questions that are unique, yet powerful questions in more ways than one.
One of the things a woman wants to be aware of when having an initial conversation with a man, according to Christian Carter, is the attraction that she is or can be creating for him.ARTArticleDealing with Depression - Single Mom Reader MailI get emails from single moms that are both uplifting and encouraging. Some emails are filled with pain and a sense of hopelessness. Many are searching for a way out of depression and emotional barriers. Here is one letter and my answer.
From M:
“One questio
I would like to ask, and you ...ARTArticleDebt Management Tips for Single MomsHaving been a single mom for several years now, I have finally acclimatized myself to my status. It is indeed hard carrying the responsibility of children on my shoulders alone. But I do love the perks I am able to monopolize. I am the sole beneficiary of the kids’ hugs, kisses, and love.
As a ...ARTArticleDifferent Styles or Money Problems? Here Are 5 Ways for Couples to TellMoney is one of the leading topics of marital arguments, and it’s not surprising. We each have a money style – a collection of feelings, beliefs, and behaviors that we learned from our parents and other significant people in our lives. When two people make a commitment together, these money styles can clash. How they come together determines whether the result will be frustration or teamwork.
So how do you tell when disagreements are just difference in money styles, and when they are creating a serious problem in a relationship? Here are five things to look at.
1.Communication.ARTArticleDiscover 3 Tops Problems In MarriageIf you are experiencing problems in marriage, trust me, you're not alone. That being said, you may feel alone as you are attempting to figure out the real problems and realize a approach to resolve them. And in several things, that's easier said than done. However it's not not possible.