Browse Abuse and Recovery

How would you answer this question: I am out of my abuse and have moved on with my life. There is something that I have been wondering about. How and when does the abuse stop playing a significant part of my life? I have seen others who have moved on and I would like to know how they did it.nnThe woman who asked this, asked a valid question. There are many men, women and children who no longer are victims, but feel like they cannot leave it behind. It stays as much a part of

"Work place bullying and mobbing" is a little known phenomenon in the United States but is well known and addressed on many levels in several other countries, primarily The United Kingdom. Although most people in the United States are unfamiliar with the terms "work place bullying and mobbing" ...

1. Sticks and stones won’t break my bones” – and words won’t leave any measurable physical damage, but they will cause progressive, long-term harm. Never underestimate the power of words: words are used to brainwash. Being told you are “stupid”, “ugly”, “lazy” or “worthless” is never acceptable. The first times you hear it, it will hurt, naturally. In time you “may get used to” hearing it from a partner. That’s when you start to internalise and believe it. When that happens

"In the song ""The Gambler,"" Kenny Rodgers sang, ""You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run."" If that seems to sum up your job situation, then you may be wondering if you should quit or allow yourself to get fired. Here are some common situations and how you should handle them.nn1. I Need More MoneynNo one wants to feel overworked and underpaid. If this sounds like you, then perhaps it is time for a change. If you

When most people hear the word “abuse,” they think of bruises left from an angry person’s violent rage. Very few, though, understand the mental and emotional scars resulting from emotional abuse, and even fewer understand those which are caused by the lesser-know Narcissistic Abuse. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a difficult, and sometimes dangerous, disorder to deal with from the outside. The Narcissist lacks empathy, which makes the disorder even more baffling for th

This Anger Contract was my response to the events chronicled in my previous post, "The Betrayal." A bogus Intervention had been done to me, and had forced me to get in touch with deep anger that I had been trying to release for several years. I knew I needed to do something radical to handle the situation, to be able to process my anger, yet not hurt anyone in the process. I had prepared contracts as a part of my job, and it suddenly occurred to me to prepare this contract. I knew if I committed to this document, I would honor it.

In a previous article I talked about survivors who are unable to move on with their lives and/or having the attitude that everything that is wrong in their life is the result of another person. In that article it was discussed about how important forgiving yourself is so you can move on.nnSo where do you start? How can you find out if you are someone who has victim mentality? The first step is to listen to yourself. Are you blaming others in your life for all the distress in

I spent a lot of time walking around Houston in the middle '80s with many of the symptoms of PTSD, and didn't know it. I was having flashbacks - of occurrences I didn't remember. I felt like the man in the Bou e Identity with amnesia, who was getting glimpses of his past - a past he could not recall. Sometimes it was like feeling memories - like I was somewhere else living through something. But I had no idea what was going on, and it was terribly frustrating and confusing.

If you or a loved one have just come out of a stint in rehab, the main focus is to now stay and remain sober from drugs or alcohol. However, this is sometimes easier said than done. There are so many misconceptions about relapse, that’s why in this article; we aim to set the record straight. 'Relapse Means Addiction Treatment Didn’t Work' A relapse does not mean that addiction treatment never worked. It simply means a mistake has been made, that can fortunately be rectifie

The aftershock of narcissistic abuse, once pulling away from a narcissistic relationship is a phenomenon that is very little understood. The logical consensus, when leaving a narcissistic partner, is because the abuse has finished, an individual should start recovering. This belief is in fact highly inaccurate. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Complicated Stress Disorder occurs when the immediate danger is over, the individual is out of survival mode and has the time to fee

For some people, animal cruelty is a serious issue; for others, it is not. A year ago, animal lovers around the world were riveted by the discovery of a young dog just hours from death at the bottom of a trash chute in Newark, New Jersey. Named Patrick, the young pup was breathing but otherwise unresponsive. He was rushed to the local animal shelter and then to a veterinary clinic. It was touch and go for many weeks. As soon as one problem was solved, another one appeared. His body had been ravaged by months of starvation and exposure.

Someone wrote recently and said they were trying to finish a book they were writing, but had gone into a fearful place when thinking about having it published. "It's got me so twisted up that I am afraid to even write at the moment because I don't know what I'll do with the manuscript when it's done." They knew from a friend that I had studied the publishing industry extensively before publishing my first book, and wondered my thoughts on writing and publishing. The following is my reply. --------r

When they first flutter across your path, red flags are so small and benign, you may hardly notice them. In hindsight, you may swear at yourself for not paying attention to them because of what they later reveal. Red flags are subtle signals that show up when something is not quite right. They vary by type and extent across every kind of relationship. The bad news is, they’re counter-intuitive; that is, your age, logic and intuition will not serve you.

For ACoAs- (Adult-Children of alcoholics, abusers, abandoners & other narcissists) ACoAs know how they would like their life to be: TO have a fulfilling career, loving relationships, less pressure, a little fun... and they try, struggle, obsess - but not much changes. They become more & more frustrated & depressed. They grew up around chaos addictions, criticism, rage, depression, abuse & neglect.

(Written September 20, 1988) We were in a house trailer just outside the Lindreth trading post, in northwest New Mexico. There were six of us on the hunt that year: My Dad and I; Morris - Dad's best friend, and his son Brad; Don - who owned the trailer and was to be our guide, and his son Chris. I had watched my Dad leave to go hunting each fall since I could remember, had seen the freezer filled with venison after he returned. Hunting was the time when the men gathered together. Brad and I were 12, and this was our first time to go along, even though we weren't to carry guns.

In our culture it is very common to teach our children, especially girls, that putting others’ needs before our own is the key to keeping harmony. This is how a person learns Codependence. rnBut when you are dealing with a partner who believes it is your job to make him happy, which is a typical narcissist trait, no amount of effort will please him and your Codependence may actually displease him to the point of Domestic Abuse. .rnPeople with Narcissistic Personality Disord

Become a therapist - The problems that you could help others with are enormous, debilitating and horrendous. Something like agoraphobia can totally stunt a person's life as it does not allow them to go out. Someone who is recovering from abuse will be needing support too. Firstly let us look at why you wish to. Is this ego? Financial? Boredom? Is it to understand yourself better? Or your partner? Or potential lovers and partners? Or are you actually thinking of this as a to

For many years, I would have told you that yes, there was drinking in my house while I was growing up, but I got out just fine, and it didn’t really affect me. Then when I was in my early ‘30s, I started to see signs that such was not the case.

Talk of Tigersrn(Written March 9, 1990) "Tell me about your tiger," she said. They were at the zoo, standing in front of the tiger cage. A huge, restless Bengal tiger paced back and forth the length of the cage. His eyes looked devoid of life, cold, neutral. The huge paws silently padded up and down, the tawny skin rippling over muscles bunching and loosening as he walked, endlessly pacing. There was about him an ominous presence, a sense of unbelievable power and force, frightening, even with the steel bars separating him from outsiders.

After years of struggling as a writer, by 1996, I had written two books, had publishers interested in both, and had walked away each time. Finally, in complete frustration, I gave up the dream of being a writer. I still felt something was locking up my writing, but I had no idea what it was. I spent several pretty miserable years not writing, believing I’d never get down to the bottom of the mysterious hangup that had effectively killed my path with heart. I moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico in 2002, returning to the part of the country where I had grown up.

There is nothing like Mother's Day to remind you of just how much you have lost and how painful that loss is if you are estranged from your mother due to abandonment (disclosing your abuse, mental illness, drug abuse, physical or emotional abuse etc) or loss. When I disclosed my abuse to my mother back in 2001 I then became estranged from her and my family. I was called the “crazy one” and received no validation, support or caring from my mother.

Stress it's all around us, most people feel the effects of it but do we really understand what it does to the body? Let's take a closer look at stress. Stress is linked to a number of illnesses or conditions from which our populations suffers including insomnia, eating disorders (eg., obesity caused by "stress" eating), depression, addictions, anxiety, and panic attacks are just a few to mention. rnIt has been implicated as a cause for heart and other circulatory diseases, hy

Written April 12, 1990 How do you know when it's time to say goodbye? To move on? To go separate ways? There comes a point for many people, whether it's with the true love of your life, the gang at church, your oldest friend, or a group you used to hang with, when something is just not the way it was. So what to do? And when to do it?

Abusive relationships are largely invisible to the public, most of whom are illiterate about this realm of life. Acts of abuse mostly take place behind closed doors and can go on for some time before there is visual evidence. For example, you can’t tell by looking that: • A woman was verbally savaged or raped by her husband that morning. • She has no direct access to funds, has no money in her wallet and is being blocked in her efforts to get more or better work.r

Are You A ‘Hopium Addict?’ If the question alone was enough to make you recoil in horror, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the term couldn’t possibly apply to you. You may not have heard the term before, but your reaction may be because you are a closet hopium addict. What is the definition of a hopium addict? ‘A hopium addict is someone who puts their own emotional needs on hold, while they wait for their partner to kick their addiction – be it to drugs, alcohol, gambling,

Written August 5, 1990 All I really wanted to say was "I'm sorry." I had said some hurtful things to my Father. But he had been dead for three years. How do make amends after they're gone? It wasn't perfect, not like him being there, but I was talking to him anyway. Just making up a conversation in my mind, inside my spirit. And answering for him - what I thought he would say. No, that's not quite true. Some of the things my Dad had said to me, but I could not hear them at the time, or at least, could not receive his words.

Ending Baby Boomer Burnout : How to Stop Parenting Our Adult Children and Start Reclaiming Our Own Lives Holli Kenley “Both my 23 year old daughter and my 29 year old son have moved back home. I find myself doing more for them than for myself. I am exhausted, but they seem to need me.” “My 25 year old son who graduated from college is now living with us. He says he can’t find work anywhere, but he doesn’t even try. While he stays out partying all night and sleeping all day, I am working twice as hard to keep the bills paid! But, I just can’t kick him out!”r

Reading through a book named as Human Trafficking by Courtney Farrell regarding Human Trafficking in relation to Modern Slavery, I was shocked by listening to a story in the beginning of the book which tells about a nine year old girl Williathe Narcisse, who was a slave in Haiti before she arrived in the southern United states to work for her new owners there. In United States, she cleaned house for her mistress, worked in her master’s business and was abused sexually by th

For the last two years I've been working to overcome the effects of damage done by my Grandmother, who we all called Mamaw. When I was 8 years old, she asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I said a famous writer, and she was appalled, and said "If you are a famous writer, they'll call you crazy and lock you up!" She reinforced that message by telling me the doctor she worked for as a nurse had confirmed that if I was a writer when I grew up, and went crazy from it, he could have me put into an insane asylum.

In Part One: Cyber bullying: The H1N1 of Technology- Causation, several causal factors of cyber bullying we examined. Although the issue is extremely complex, three social norms were explored as being strong contributors to the rampant spread of this technological virus: • The anonymity of technology: Because of the lack of human connection afforded to us by the various technological devices, we have become detached from one another and desensitized to the disastrous effects our words or actions have on one another.r

When I was six years old I felt very connected with God. I had a sense of peace about my world, and knew, I just knew, that one day I would become a famous writer. It was a sense of destiny that was as tangible as anything I’ve experienced since. I started my first novel at age 13, something about a plot to overthrow the President. Then the movie Seven Days In May stole my storyline, so I set the novel aside. Then when I was in the 8th grade, our class compiled a literary magazine. I published five poems and a short story, and was once again really excited about writing.

Definition of LONELINESS (L) • Sadness resulting from being forsaken or abandoned • Feeling a strong sense of emptiness, yearning, distress and solitude, from an inadequate quantity or quality of social relationships • Social pain — a psychological mechanism meant to alert people of being too isolated, which can motivate them to seek social connections • Dejected or desolate by the awareness of being alone, without companions. Separation between persons or groupsrnⶠLoneliness is a natural phenomenon, since humans are social creatures by nature. Too much of it is crippling. QUOTESr

Today marks the day the Sandusky verdict was announced. It is also the day when the healing for the children, families, communities and our nation begins. What happened at Penn State was a terrible tragedy. But as a witness to what transpired, what have we learned? Why not take a moment to get present and witness the potential for the limitless healing and transformation in this event? I am a busy mother of three girls, 7, 6 and 3. Having been the recipient of childhood mol

If you have a vision then you need a plan and if your aim is to get past the PCAT test then your plan needs to include the right tools for task including the most important – the PCAT software. Studying to become a pharmacologist is getting more difficult as admission into pharmacy schools is a getting to be a tough feat due to the stiff competition from other students with a similar vision. If you wish to get into a pharmacy college, the PCAT test or the Pharmacy Admission

In the fall of 1990, I was meeting with two other men on a regular basis to explore our dreams and aspirations. Every two weeks, we would gather at a Chinese buffet and talk for several hours about things we’d like to do some day.

A good friend emailed me a while back and asked about my experience of the "inner child" on my road to healing. My inner child, who I called Little Danny, was an integral part of the book I had written, "Freedom's Just Another Word." My friend wondered if my experience of that inner child had changed over the years, or if that child was still a part of me in some ways. Here's how I characterized it:

Drinking alcohol is a part of the lives of many people. You drink when you have a bottle of wine during your meals, during special occasions, when you go out with your friends and a lot more. It is then difficult to identify if a person is having troubles with controlling how much alcohol he drinks. Simply defined, alcoholism is the addiction or dependence to alcohol. It is a pattern of alcohol use that is destructive, using alcohol longer than you planned or having troubles

(Written August 8, 1990) It was June of 1969. I had just come home from my freshman year at Texas Tech. I had not declared a major except for General Studies. I liked my psychology and sociology courses, and thought about going that direction for a major.

In the fall of 1986 someone said to me "You write very lyrically. Are you a poet?" I replied pretty vehemently, "No, no, I'm not a poet!" as if I was physically trying to push away the concept. I was also ignoring the fact that I had published poetry in a school literary magazine when I was in junior high. Several weeks later I remembered why I stopped writing poetry. Shortly after that, I composed the first poem I had written since I was 14 years old - and it explained why. Heartbeat My heart stopped beating when I was fourteen, Avoiding the pain that could rarely be seen.r

My next several blog posts are all related to the same topic. They deal with something that happened to me in July of 1988. My Dad had died the previous Thanksgiving, and I was still in the grief process over that loss. As well, I was still involved with a 12 step program for people who had grown up around alcoholism. That group had grown to be like a family for me. Yet I had seen several situations where I needed to back away from people in that group, because the dynamic wasn’t healthy for me.

In every story worth telling, there is a colorful beginning. This one begins with me… When my stepfather started caressing me, and lightly tickling my arms, legs, and back, it felt nice. I felt loved. I was often watching television when he would cuddle with me on the sofa. My mother would scratch my back once in a while too. Problem was my mother’s caressing never lasted long. When my stepfather caressed me, it often lasted a long, long time. Until everyone else went to

I sit here once more at my computer, with a jumble of thoughts that have been dancing around in my head for some days now. It has taken me until now to find the inspiration, and to really think about the concept surrounding this Phenomenon. We have all been in a position where we have felt our heart has been broken, that it will surly never mend. That there is no light at the end of the tunnel, the pain is just immeasurable. We sit and stare at the floor deep within our sadn

Note: the real names of the author and her publisher are used with their permission. “Mr. Hays, I really loved the book your book, “Search For Peace.” I spent all weekend reading it, and I just couldn’t put it down. I’d like to talk to you about publishing it.” Those are thrilling words for a writer to hear from a publisher. It was hard to breathe, and I thought I was overwhelmed by the good news. Later I would come to realize I was terrified. ------r

Written October 17, 1988 I was out in the back yard shooting baskets with some of the boys from the neighborhood. It was a crisp, sunny fall afte oon, sweatshirt weather, and I was feeling great about life. I had finally gotten the knack of the jump shot, and was really proud of myself. The back door open, my Dad called out, "Son, come here a minute." I walked over to him, breathing hard from the exertion. "Get your jacket, we're going down to the Y." "The Y? How come?"

This subject was something that I really had trouble getting my head around, why would anyone revisit a point in their life where it spelt nothing but pain and suffering. Why the hell would I ? A place you would think that your own consciousness would crawl over hot coals to keep you from revisiting. When you consider that statement it’s easy to see my confusion. What we have to remember here is that it’s the action of a mind struggling in the realms of the reality. At that p

When we are abused as children, we don’t get the protection and care that we deserve from our parents. We grow up not knowing what really good parenting is. My father was a charismatic character who had many good qualities, but also self-indulgent narcissistic ones that led him to abuse me sexually. My mother loved me, no doubt at all, but she was emotionally distant, depressed, and weak.

Drug addiction and abuse can be prevented. Research has shown that prevention programs that involve families, schools, and communities can help reduce drug abuse. It is important for the youth and general public to understand the real risks of drug abuse and addiction. Community leaders must spread the message that drug addiction can be prevented if a person never abuses drugs. Drugs tap into your brain’s, communication system and interferes with the way nerve cells send, r

The moment the verbal assault springs off his/her tongue, the natural reflex is “ouch.” Correct? But lucky for you, it doesn’t have to be.nnLet’s face it, you cannot control what’s up with another person, much less what they dish out, but you certainly can control yourself. And when it comes to verbal abuse you have a choice.nn What is your choice with verbal abuse? nnYou can let in or not let it in! Okay, I can hear you thinking: that’s ea

ACOA DOUBLE BINDS - Either way we lose ourselves, to stay loyal to the family If you’d like to know about double binds, go to pg. 10 of www.acoarecovery.com. ACoAs have a terrible dilemma: 1. On the one hand we desperately want to be loved, acknowledged, seen, heard. We complain bitterly for years that we have to chase people down, do all the work in relationships, friends don’t come thru for us, we’re too isolated, hate being lonely, we can’t trust anyone...

Low self-esteem is a thinking disorder in which individuals view themselves as inadequate, unlovable, or incompetent. There are many manifestations of low self-esteem, the worst of them being addiction. There’s no doubt that low self-esteem is one of the chief causes of addiction. The relationship between low self-esteem and addiction has been established since time immemorial because people who have had serious addiction problems also have low self-esteem issues. Having es

Learning to take care of yourself is at the very core of your healing process. It’s a way to demonstrate self-love and respect of yourself. No matter how busy you get, making time to care for yourself—mind, body, and spirit—is a must. Neglecting self-care can have negative effects on body, mind, and spirit, leaving us depleted and out of balance. For this reason, it is important to have self-care strategies that address each of these parts of ourselves.

I received this question from someone who had just read my book, Freedom’s Just Another Word, where I confront some pretty bad demons from my past: How did you overcome your fear of dealing with all the pain coming to the surface? I have not been able to conquer this fear I have of experiencing all that pain. I can talk to myself, try to reason it all out. I know this stuff is poison. If I let it all stay buried in there it is going to continue to rot my soul. I can know this in my head, but the fear is greater than my reasoning. Here’s how I responded:r

Many people often wonder what alcohol abuse is and what the signs of alcohol abuse are? While most people will find that they do drink a single drink every night, they will assume that this doesn't constitute abuse in any form. The truth of the matter is that there are different levels when it comes to abusing alcohol and you need to keep that in mind when you are determining if you should be concerned about it. When it comes to categorizing drinking, there are four so-called

At the commencement of the relationship, the Narcissist is a dream-come-true. He is often intelligent, witty, charming, good looking, an achiever, empathetic, in need of love, loving, caring, attentive and much more. He is the perfect bundled answer to the nagging questions of life: finding meaning, companionship, compatibility and happiness. He is, in other words, ideal. It is difficult to let go of this idealized figure. Relationships with narcissists inevitably and invari

Written December 30, 1988 At Thanksgiving of 1988 I returned to Fort Worth, a place of many of my roots - my family, early friends, beginnings. I had lived there for about a year and a half in 1967 and 1968. My family had moved back to the town where my parents had grown up, and where many of my relatives still lived.

LOVE vs FEAR? Fear is an emotion caused by either outer danger or inner false beliefs • Like so many popular ‘spiritual’ saying there’s some truth in it but NOT the whole story, so people can get easily confused & also misuse it. • Generally, this statement means that if we have enough love in our life, we won’t be afraid. Loved by a Higher Power, loved by family, love by pets, love by friends... Yes, these are to be desired & cultivated.

More than once to date I have received an email from an abuser and not the abused. The question that must pop in to our heads is why? Why would someone of that ilk visit my web page? Is it not rubbing their noise in it? Are their reasons for being here pure? After much pondering, I have decided to write this piece to those of you that have. If you are here then maybe there is a way to terminate this continued devastation. Can I help you realise, see clearly the excessive dama

I am a first time author and I have written a book about my own personal experience. My direct web page – http://chipmunkapublishing.co.uk/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=1822After an accident in which I injured my back, I was ill health retired. This has given me the time and dedication to put pen to paper. My life was no longer full, and I found myself with an abundance of alone time, to sit and reflect everything I had tried so hard to bury. Although this

Grief – it’s a word we can all relate to, if we have ever suffered the pain of losing someone close to us. It’s a word that is associated with love, the empty feeling it leaves behind as the bottom of our world falls out. It’s a word that is associated with death, as we try to move on in our lives without that special person. Buts death has many guises. So what relevance has it here? Let’s explore that question together. To my mind there are so many other things that we griev

Violent crime has been closely associated with substance abuse since Prohibition was in effect in the United States more than 80 years ago. Since then rates of violent crime have skyrocketed, especially in the decades after the US government took up an active war on drugs. But while a great deal of this violence can be attributed to the enforcement of drug laws, much of it is associated with increased instances of non-enforcement related violent crime like rape, robbery and m

Note: This topic is particularly on my mind right now - I have just had a friend of 20 years drift away. I held on to the illusion that we were still on the same wavelength for about a year. Then I finally had to admit - we just weren't going down the same road any more. Eventually, I let it go and began to move on, but it has been troubling nonetheless! Oddly, I had just met the friend around the same time this piece was written. (Written July 25, 1990)

If your youth work in a low paid job in the very tender age of their life then your nation can never bring anything good to your country or to the world in bigger aspect. Children are the future of the nation. But the financial problem is highly responsible in the poor families which leads the children to work at such a tender age, when they should have went to school to study. Most of them work at unskilled jobs and do not attend school; it is the violation of international

LONELY CREATURES We’re all social animals, even when we sometimes need our privacy Many people in the mental health field, spiritual practices & new-age wisdom say we shouldn’t worry about what others think of us. Yes, OK, but it’s not that simple! What they don’t tell you is that there’s 2 different aspects, the negative & the positive.

Do you feel trapped in a marriage with a husband who undermines you, makes you feel weak rather than strong, or are you always tense or afraid whenever he is around? rnYou should know that divorce is not your only option and that you have more options than you realize. Understanding the cause for your husband’s abusive behaviors is the first step toward seeing, then breaking destructive patterns in your relationship.rnRelationship abuse may begin when a man feels vulnerable

The subject of child abuse has been around for many years, but for some reason only until the last few years has it been recognized as a real problem. Some forms of child abuse that lead to problems later in life are physical, emotional, verbal, incest, etc. When someone is abused as a young child their mind deals with this by creating multiple personalities, drug and alcohol abuse, and as adults you may become an abuser yourself. If you look back at the history of some convicts you will find they were abused as children.

I’ve just returned home after another session with my Psychiatrist, today has really not gone well. I was asked to visit a place that had so many bad memories for me. Dealing with the sexual side of my rehabilitation is a killer. I know that I need this psychotherapeutic treatment, because I am drowning in my own pain. How do I put into words the shear agony that I feel inside when I revisit that place. It feels like someone is tearing out the very heart of me, leaving me fee

YES, I WAS HURT BY MY FAMILY, but they were hurting too, poor things! This is a phrase I’ve heard over the years, & it always makes me mad. You may at first think this post is harsh or unfair, BUT please remember that everything our parents were - WE internalized into our Negative Introject. As long as we deny how harmful their actions were toward us - we will continue doing the same to ourselves, mistreat others AND be mistreated as well! (see posts on ‘The Introject’ & ‘Self-hate’). What does this phrase mean?r

With the staggering amounts of rehab centers in Florida in place, it is difficult to determine which drug rehab program is best. For anyone who is dependent on drugs or alcohol looking for recovery, it's a choice that can change their lives. For anyone who has suffered through the devastating effects caused by drug or alcohol abuse, oftentimes they come to a point in their lives where all they want is to feel better. They ultimately make the choice to put down their drug of c

Why? It’s a questio I have been asked many times both personally and indirectly through my web page. So which why am I being asked here? There are so many whys in my past; it’s quite difficult to pin each one down. This scenario I am sure mirrors the lives of so many people, still unable to answer that particular question for themselves. Let’s now return to the start of this piece and deal with the said questio “would it not be easier to deal with the cause and not the afterm

When we understand narcissistic tendencies, we see how living through a False Self is a recipe for discontentment, anxiety and disappointment. Narcissistic tendencies such as needing approval, status and significance from ‘outside of self’ create a painful life. Rather than establishing being ‘full and content’, happiness is precariously balanced on what is or isn’t happening in the outside world - a place we have absolutely no control over. Narcissistic behavior is

I have just been asked by my counsellor about my sexuality, a questio I have been waiting for that took its time to arrive. The answer has been in my mind for so long waiting to be announced. I truthful didn’t know. So what were my options here? It seems through choice that I am Heterosexual, Bisexual or Lesbian. It all sounds so very clean cut, all the boxes ticked in the right place. The problem I am having, is that not one box has been ticked within me. The three most prom

Freedom is the key to joy and peace. Living alcohol and drug-free gives you the opportunity to experience true freedom, not the false high you get when drunk or high. There are many programs available to people who want to get sober but there are few programs available for those who want to live sober. We live in a world that glamorizes “social drinking.” There is very little social support or encouragement to live a clean and sober lifestyle. The following video portrays

I’m sitting in a big room that makes me feel so small I don’t even recognize the man sitting in front of me but he seems to know all about me by their conversation. My mum is telling him about the fact that I have started wetting the bed, how could she tell this stranger that about me? I feel so ashamed each night fighting harder and harder to stay awake until my eyes were stinging; the covers over my head as I have convinced myself that something came in the night to make th

Michael Jackson must have been under tremendous emotional stress in recent years. He went through a difficult trial. He had a strained relationship with his father. Additionally, being in the spotlight 24/7 can put tension on your emotional state. News reports imply that Michael may have had some chronic sleep problems. This would not be surprising, given his role of being one of the most famous entertainers in the world. It might be reasonable to expect that his earlier trial gave him some anxiety, as well. That could have also led to some depression.

Children of narcissistic parents grow up to become either sensitized or desensitized to narcissistic behaviours, traits, and personalities. In adulthood, sensitized offspring are able to rapidly disce the presence of narcissists by reading their body language and by resonating with subtle cues emitted by the narcissist even when he is on his best behavior and when he puts on a show and embarks on his charm offensives. They experience repulsion, resentment, and rage and react

THE BAD SEED I was born bad & I’ll always be bad Guilt is about actions - it’s the emotion which is caused by disobedience to rules we deeply believe in. On the other hand, SHAME is about our identity - about who we are, fundamentally. It says that our very essence is bad, unlovable, unacceptable - to be eliminated. It makes us: • want to hide, isolate, not talk, try to be invisible • want to be dead! The pain of shame is so great & the conviction that we’re un-redeemable is so deep (not worth saving), that it eliminates Hope. Why bother even trying!r

This situation for me was something I had to contend with for many years. The room is full but for me it may as well have been empty. All I can hear is white noise, were they talking to me? Why would they want to talk to me? Someone asks me if I am ok but the voice seems so far away, somewhat like a distant echo. I am stuck within my mind. Why does the world not stop turning, there is nothing out there but pain and sorrow. All of a sudden the room becomes full, people crowdin

Resources for understanding the true nature of domestic violence and emotional abuse and tools for healing. Teaches women how to spot an abusive man, how to recognize abusive, and abused behaviour as well as fast effective ways to step out of the victim mind-set once and for all.