Browse Abuse and Recovery

How would you answer this question: I am out of my abuse and have moved on with my life. There is something that I have been wondering about. How and when does the abuse stop playing a significant part of my life? I have seen others who have moved on and I would like to know how they did it.nnThe woman who asked this, asked a valid question. There are many men, women and children who no longer are victims, but feel like they cannot leave it behind. It stays as much a part of

"Work place bullying and mobbing" is a little known phenomenon in the United States but is well known and addressed on many levels in several other countries, primarily The United Kingdom. Although most people in the United States are unfamiliar with the terms "work place bullying and mobbing" ...

1. Sticks and stones won’t break my bones” – and words won’t leave any measurable physical damage, but they will cause progressive, long-term harm. Never underestimate the power of words: words are used to brainwash. Being told you are “stupid”, “ugly”, “lazy” or “worthless” is never acceptable. The first times you hear it, it will hurt, naturally. In time you “may get used to” hearing it from a partner. That’s when you start to internalise and believe it. When that happens

"In the song ""The Gambler,"" Kenny Rodgers sang, ""You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run."" If that seems to sum up your job situation, then you may be wondering if you should quit or allow yourself to get fired. Here are some common situations and how you should handle them.nn1. I Need More MoneynNo one wants to feel overworked and underpaid. If this sounds like you, then perhaps it is time for a change. If you

When most people hear the word “abuse,” they think of bruises left from an angry person’s violent rage. Very few, though, understand the mental and emotional scars resulting from emotional abuse, and even fewer understand those which are caused by the lesser-know Narcissistic Abuse. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a difficult, and sometimes dangerous, disorder to deal with from the outside. The Narcissist lacks empathy, which makes the disorder even more baffling for th

This Anger Contract was my response to the events chronicled in my previous post, "The Betrayal." A bogus Intervention had been done to me, and had forced me to get in touch with deep anger that I had been trying to release for several years. I knew I needed to do something radical to handle the situation, to be able to process my anger, yet not hurt anyone in the process. I had prepared contracts as a part of my job, and it suddenly occurred to me to prepare this contract. I knew if I committed to this document, I would honor it.

In a previous article I talked about survivors who are unable to move on with their lives and/or having the attitude that everything that is wrong in their life is the result of another person. In that article it was discussed about how important forgiving yourself is so you can move on.nnSo where do you start? How can you find out if you are someone who has victim mentality? The first step is to listen to yourself. Are you blaming others in your life for all the distress in

I spent a lot of time walking around Houston in the middle '80s with many of the symptoms of PTSD, and didn't know it. I was having flashbacks - of occurrences I didn't remember. I felt like the man in the Bou e Identity with amnesia, who was getting glimpses of his past - a past he could not recall. Sometimes it was like feeling memories - like I was somewhere else living through something. But I had no idea what was going on, and it was terribly frustrating and confusing.

If you or a loved one have just come out of a stint in rehab, the main focus is to now stay and remain sober from drugs or alcohol. However, this is sometimes easier said than done. There are so many misconceptions about relapse, that’s why in this article; we aim to set the record straight. 'Relapse Means Addiction Treatment Didn’t Work' A relapse does not mean that addiction treatment never worked. It simply means a mistake has been made, that can fortunately be rectifie

The aftershock of narcissistic abuse, once pulling away from a narcissistic relationship is a phenomenon that is very little understood. The logical consensus, when leaving a narcissistic partner, is because the abuse has finished, an individual should start recovering. This belief is in fact highly inaccurate. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Complicated Stress Disorder occurs when the immediate danger is over, the individual is out of survival mode and has the time to fee

For some people, animal cruelty is a serious issue; for others, it is not. A year ago, animal lovers around the world were riveted by the discovery of a young dog just hours from death at the bottom of a trash chute in Newark, New Jersey. Named Patrick, the young pup was breathing but otherwise unresponsive. He was rushed to the local animal shelter and then to a veterinary clinic. It was touch and go for many weeks. As soon as one problem was solved, another one appeared. His body had been ravaged by months of starvation and exposure.

Someone wrote recently and said they were trying to finish a book they were writing, but had gone into a fearful place when thinking about having it published. "It's got me so twisted up that I am afraid to even write at the moment because I don't know what I'll do with the manuscript when it's done." They knew from a friend that I had studied the publishing industry extensively before publishing my first book, and wondered my thoughts on writing and publishing. The following is my reply. --------r

When they first flutter across your path, red flags are so small and benign, you may hardly notice them. In hindsight, you may swear at yourself for not paying attention to them because of what they later reveal. Red flags are subtle signals that show up when something is not quite right. They vary by type and extent across every kind of relationship. The bad news is, they’re counter-intuitive; that is, your age, logic and intuition will not serve you.

For ACoAs- (Adult-Children of alcoholics, abusers, abandoners & other narcissists) ACoAs know how they would like their life to be: TO have a fulfilling career, loving relationships, less pressure, a little fun... and they try, struggle, obsess - but not much changes. They become more & more frustrated & depressed. They grew up around chaos addictions, criticism, rage, depression, abuse & neglect.

(Written September 20, 1988) We were in a house trailer just outside the Lindreth trading post, in northwest New Mexico. There were six of us on the hunt that year: My Dad and I; Morris - Dad's best friend, and his son Brad; Don - who owned the trailer and was to be our guide, and his son Chris. I had watched my Dad leave to go hunting each fall since I could remember, had seen the freezer filled with venison after he returned. Hunting was the time when the men gathered together. Brad and I were 12, and this was our first time to go along, even though we weren't to carry guns.

In our culture it is very common to teach our children, especially girls, that putting others’ needs before our own is the key to keeping harmony. This is how a person learns Codependence. rnBut when you are dealing with a partner who believes it is your job to make him happy, which is a typical narcissist trait, no amount of effort will please him and your Codependence may actually displease him to the point of Domestic Abuse. .rnPeople with Narcissistic Personality Disord

Become a therapist - The problems that you could help others with are enormous, debilitating and horrendous. Something like agoraphobia can totally stunt a person's life as it does not allow them to go out. Someone who is recovering from abuse will be needing support too. Firstly let us look at why you wish to. Is this ego? Financial? Boredom? Is it to understand yourself better? Or your partner? Or potential lovers and partners? Or are you actually thinking of this as a to

For many years, I would have told you that yes, there was drinking in my house while I was growing up, but I got out just fine, and it didn’t really affect me. Then when I was in my early ‘30s, I started to see signs that such was not the case.

Talk of Tigersrn(Written March 9, 1990) "Tell me about your tiger," she said. They were at the zoo, standing in front of the tiger cage. A huge, restless Bengal tiger paced back and forth the length of the cage. His eyes looked devoid of life, cold, neutral. The huge paws silently padded up and down, the tawny skin rippling over muscles bunching and loosening as he walked, endlessly pacing. There was about him an ominous presence, a sense of unbelievable power and force, frightening, even with the steel bars separating him from outsiders.

After years of struggling as a writer, by 1996, I had written two books, had publishers interested in both, and had walked away each time. Finally, in complete frustration, I gave up the dream of being a writer. I still felt something was locking up my writing, but I had no idea what it was. I spent several pretty miserable years not writing, believing I’d never get down to the bottom of the mysterious hangup that had effectively killed my path with heart. I moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico in 2002, returning to the part of the country where I had grown up.

There is nothing like Mother's Day to remind you of just how much you have lost and how painful that loss is if you are estranged from your mother due to abandonment (disclosing your abuse, mental illness, drug abuse, physical or emotional abuse etc) or loss. When I disclosed my abuse to my mother back in 2001 I then became estranged from her and my family. I was called the “crazy one” and received no validation, support or caring from my mother.

Stress it's all around us, most people feel the effects of it but do we really understand what it does to the body? Let's take a closer look at stress. Stress is linked to a number of illnesses or conditions from which our populations suffers including insomnia, eating disorders (eg., obesity caused by "stress" eating), depression, addictions, anxiety, and panic attacks are just a few to mention. rnIt has been implicated as a cause for heart and other circulatory diseases, hy

Written April 12, 1990 How do you know when it's time to say goodbye? To move on? To go separate ways? There comes a point for many people, whether it's with the true love of your life, the gang at church, your oldest friend, or a group you used to hang with, when something is just not the way it was. So what to do? And when to do it?

Abusive relationships are largely invisible to the public, most of whom are illiterate about this realm of life. Acts of abuse mostly take place behind closed doors and can go on for some time before there is visual evidence. For example, you can’t tell by looking that: • A woman was verbally savaged or raped by her husband that morning. • She has no direct access to funds, has no money in her wallet and is being blocked in her efforts to get more or better work.r

Are You A ‘Hopium Addict?’ If the question alone was enough to make you recoil in horror, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the term couldn’t possibly apply to you. You may not have heard the term before, but your reaction may be because you are a closet hopium addict. What is the definition of a hopium addict? ‘A hopium addict is someone who puts their own emotional needs on hold, while they wait for their partner to kick their addiction – be it to drugs, alcohol, gambling,

Written August 5, 1990 All I really wanted to say was "I'm sorry." I had said some hurtful things to my Father. But he had been dead for three years. How do make amends after they're gone? It wasn't perfect, not like him being there, but I was talking to him anyway. Just making up a conversation in my mind, inside my spirit. And answering for him - what I thought he would say. No, that's not quite true. Some of the things my Dad had said to me, but I could not hear them at the time, or at least, could not receive his words.

Ending Baby Boomer Burnout : How to Stop Parenting Our Adult Children and Start Reclaiming Our Own Lives Holli Kenley “Both my 23 year old daughter and my 29 year old son have moved back home. I find myself doing more for them than for myself. I am exhausted, but they seem to need me.” “My 25 year old son who graduated from college is now living with us. He says he can’t find work anywhere, but he doesn’t even try. While he stays out partying all night and sleeping all day, I am working twice as hard to keep the bills paid! But, I just can’t kick him out!”r

Reading through a book named as Human Trafficking by Courtney Farrell regarding Human Trafficking in relation to Modern Slavery, I was shocked by listening to a story in the beginning of the book which tells about a nine year old girl Williathe Narcisse, who was a slave in Haiti before she arrived in the southern United states to work for her new owners there. In United States, she cleaned house for her mistress, worked in her master’s business and was abused sexually by th

For the last two years I've been working to overcome the effects of damage done by my Grandmother, who we all called Mamaw. When I was 8 years old, she asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I said a famous writer, and she was appalled, and said "If you are a famous writer, they'll call you crazy and lock you up!" She reinforced that message by telling me the doctor she worked for as a nurse had confirmed that if I was a writer when I grew up, and went crazy from it, he could have me put into an insane asylum.

In Part One: Cyber bullying: The H1N1 of Technology- Causation, several causal factors of cyber bullying we examined. Although the issue is extremely complex, three social norms were explored as being strong contributors to the rampant spread of this technological virus: • The anonymity of technology: Because of the lack of human connection afforded to us by the various technological devices, we have become detached from one another and desensitized to the disastrous effects our words or actions have on one another.r

When I was six years old I felt very connected with God. I had a sense of peace about my world, and knew, I just knew, that one day I would become a famous writer. It was a sense of destiny that was as tangible as anything I’ve experienced since. I started my first novel at age 13, something about a plot to overthrow the President. Then the movie Seven Days In May stole my storyline, so I set the novel aside. Then when I was in the 8th grade, our class compiled a literary magazine. I published five poems and a short story, and was once again really excited about writing.

Definition of LONELINESS (L) • Sadness resulting from being forsaken or abandoned • Feeling a strong sense of emptiness, yearning, distress and solitude, from an inadequate quantity or quality of social relationships • Social pain — a psychological mechanism meant to alert people of being too isolated, which can motivate them to seek social connections • Dejected or desolate by the awareness of being alone, without companions. Separation between persons or groupsrnⶠLoneliness is a natural phenomenon, since humans are social creatures by nature. Too much of it is crippling. QUOTESr

Today marks the day the Sandusky verdict was announced. It is also the day when the healing for the children, families, communities and our nation begins. What happened at Penn State was a terrible tragedy. But as a witness to what transpired, what have we learned? Why not take a moment to get present and witness the potential for the limitless healing and transformation in this event? I am a busy mother of three girls, 7, 6 and 3. Having been the recipient of childhood mol

If you have a vision then you need a plan and if your aim is to get past the PCAT test then your plan needs to include the right tools for task including the most important – the PCAT software. Studying to become a pharmacologist is getting more difficult as admission into pharmacy schools is a getting to be a tough feat due to the stiff competition from other students with a similar vision. If you wish to get into a pharmacy college, the PCAT test or the Pharmacy Admission

In the fall of 1990, I was meeting with two other men on a regular basis to explore our dreams and aspirations. Every two weeks, we would gather at a Chinese buffet and talk for several hours about things we’d like to do some day.

A good friend emailed me a while back and asked about my experience of the "inner child" on my road to healing. My inner child, who I called Little Danny, was an integral part of the book I had written, "Freedom's Just Another Word." My friend wondered if my experience of that inner child had changed over the years, or if that child was still a part of me in some ways. Here's how I characterized it:

Drinking alcohol is a part of the lives of many people. You drink when you have a bottle of wine during your meals, during special occasions, when you go out with your friends and a lot more. It is then difficult to identify if a person is having troubles with controlling how much alcohol he drinks. Simply defined, alcoholism is the addiction or dependence to alcohol. It is a pattern of alcohol use that is destructive, using alcohol longer than you planned or having troubles

(Written August 8, 1990) It was June of 1969. I had just come home from my freshman year at Texas Tech. I had not declared a major except for General Studies. I liked my psychology and sociology courses, and thought about going that direction for a major.

In the fall of 1986 someone said to me "You write very lyrically. Are you a poet?" I replied pretty vehemently, "No, no, I'm not a poet!" as if I was physically trying to push away the concept. I was also ignoring the fact that I had published poetry in a school literary magazine when I was in junior high. Several weeks later I remembered why I stopped writing poetry. Shortly after that, I composed the first poem I had written since I was 14 years old - and it explained why. Heartbeat My heart stopped beating when I was fourteen, Avoiding the pain that could rarely be seen.r

My next several blog posts are all related to the same topic. They deal with something that happened to me in July of 1988. My Dad had died the previous Thanksgiving, and I was still in the grief process over that loss. As well, I was still involved with a 12 step program for people who had grown up around alcoholism. That group had grown to be like a family for me. Yet I had seen several situations where I needed to back away from people in that group, because the dynamic wasn’t healthy for me.

In every story worth telling, there is a colorful beginning. This one begins with me… When my stepfather started caressing me, and lightly tickling my arms, legs, and back, it felt nice. I felt loved. I was often watching television when he would cuddle with me on the sofa. My mother would scratch my back once in a while too. Problem was my mother’s caressing never lasted long. When my stepfather caressed me, it often lasted a long, long time. Until everyone else went to

I sit here once more at my computer, with a jumble of thoughts that have been dancing around in my head for some days now. It has taken me until now to find the inspiration, and to really think about the concept surrounding this Phenomenon. We have all been in a position where we have felt our heart has been broken, that it will surly never mend. That there is no light at the end of the tunnel, the pain is just immeasurable. We sit and stare at the floor deep within our sadn

Note: the real names of the author and her publisher are used with their permission. “Mr. Hays, I really loved the book your book, “Search For Peace.” I spent all weekend reading it, and I just couldn’t put it down. I’d like to talk to you about publishing it.” Those are thrilling words for a writer to hear from a publisher. It was hard to breathe, and I thought I was overwhelmed by the good news. Later I would come to realize I was terrified. ------r

Written October 17, 1988 I was out in the back yard shooting baskets with some of the boys from the neighborhood. It was a crisp, sunny fall afte oon, sweatshirt weather, and I was feeling great about life. I had finally gotten the knack of the jump shot, and was really proud of myself. The back door open, my Dad called out, "Son, come here a minute." I walked over to him, breathing hard from the exertion. "Get your jacket, we're going down to the Y." "The Y? How come?"

This subject was something that I really had trouble getting my head around, why would anyone revisit a point in their life where it spelt nothing but pain and suffering. Why the hell would I ? A place you would think that your own consciousness would crawl over hot coals to keep you from revisiting. When you consider that statement it’s easy to see my confusion. What we have to remember here is that it’s the action of a mind struggling in the realms of the reality. At that p

When we are abused as children, we don’t get the protection and care that we deserve from our parents. We grow up not knowing what really good parenting is. My father was a charismatic character who had many good qualities, but also self-indulgent narcissistic ones that led him to abuse me sexually. My mother loved me, no doubt at all, but she was emotionally distant, depressed, and weak.

Drug addiction and abuse can be prevented. Research has shown that prevention programs that involve families, schools, and communities can help reduce drug abuse. It is important for the youth and general public to understand the real risks of drug abuse and addiction. Community leaders must spread the message that drug addiction can be prevented if a person never abuses drugs. Drugs tap into your brain’s, communication system and interferes with the way nerve cells send, r

The moment the verbal assault springs off his/her tongue, the natural reflex is “ouch.” Correct? But lucky for you, it doesn’t have to be.nnLet’s face it, you cannot control what’s up with another person, much less what they dish out, but you certainly can control yourself. And when it comes to verbal abuse you have a choice.nn What is your choice with verbal abuse? nnYou can let in or not let it in! Okay, I can hear you thinking: that’s ea

ACOA DOUBLE BINDS - Either way we lose ourselves, to stay loyal to the family If you’d like to know about double binds, go to pg. 10 of www.acoarecovery.com. ACoAs have a terrible dilemma: 1. On the one hand we desperately want to be loved, acknowledged, seen, heard. We complain bitterly for years that we have to chase people down, do all the work in relationships, friends don’t come thru for us, we’re too isolated, hate being lonely, we can’t trust anyone...

Low self-esteem is a thinking disorder in which individuals view themselves as inadequate, unlovable, or incompetent. There are many manifestations of low self-esteem, the worst of them being addiction. There’s no doubt that low self-esteem is one of the chief causes of addiction. The relationship between low self-esteem and addiction has been established since time immemorial because people who have had serious addiction problems also have low self-esteem issues. Having es

Learning to take care of yourself is at the very core of your healing process. It’s a way to demonstrate self-love and respect of yourself. No matter how busy you get, making time to care for yourself—mind, body, and spirit—is a must. Neglecting self-care can have negative effects on body, mind, and spirit, leaving us depleted and out of balance. For this reason, it is important to have self-care strategies that address each of these parts of ourselves.

I received this question from someone who had just read my book, Freedom’s Just Another Word, where I confront some pretty bad demons from my past: How did you overcome your fear of dealing with all the pain coming to the surface? I have not been able to conquer this fear I have of experiencing all that pain. I can talk to myself, try to reason it all out. I know this stuff is poison. If I let it all stay buried in there it is going to continue to rot my soul. I can know this in my head, but the fear is greater than my reasoning. Here’s how I responded:r

Many people often wonder what alcohol abuse is and what the signs of alcohol abuse are? While most people will find that they do drink a single drink every night, they will assume that this doesn't constitute abuse in any form. The truth of the matter is that there are different levels when it comes to abusing alcohol and you need to keep that in mind when you are determining if you should be concerned about it. When it comes to categorizing drinking, there are four so-called

At the commencement of the relationship, the Narcissist is a dream-come-true. He is often intelligent, witty, charming, good looking, an achiever, empathetic, in need of love, loving, caring, attentive and much more. He is the perfect bundled answer to the nagging questions of life: finding meaning, companionship, compatibility and happiness. He is, in other words, ideal. It is difficult to let go of this idealized figure. Relationships with narcissists inevitably and invari

Written December 30, 1988 At Thanksgiving of 1988 I returned to Fort Worth, a place of many of my roots - my family, early friends, beginnings. I had lived there for about a year and a half in 1967 and 1968. My family had moved back to the town where my parents had grown up, and where many of my relatives still lived.

LOVE vs FEAR? Fear is an emotion caused by either outer danger or inner false beliefs • Like so many popular ‘spiritual’ saying there’s some truth in it but NOT the whole story, so people can get easily confused & also misuse it. • Generally, this statement means that if we have enough love in our life, we won’t be afraid. Loved by a Higher Power, loved by family, love by pets, love by friends... Yes, these are to be desired & cultivated.

More than once to date I have received an email from an abuser and not the abused. The question that must pop in to our heads is why? Why would someone of that ilk visit my web page? Is it not rubbing their noise in it? Are their reasons for being here pure? After much pondering, I have decided to write this piece to those of you that have. If you are here then maybe there is a way to terminate this continued devastation. Can I help you realise, see clearly the excessive dama

I am a first time author and I have written a book about my own personal experience. My direct web page – http://chipmunkapublishing.co.uk/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=1822After an accident in which I injured my back, I was ill health retired. This has given me the time and dedication to put pen to paper. My life was no longer full, and I found myself with an abundance of alone time, to sit and reflect everything I had tried so hard to bury. Although this

Grief – it’s a word we can all relate to, if we have ever suffered the pain of losing someone close to us. It’s a word that is associated with love, the empty feeling it leaves behind as the bottom of our world falls out. It’s a word that is associated with death, as we try to move on in our lives without that special person. Buts death has many guises. So what relevance has it here? Let’s explore that question together. To my mind there are so many other things that we griev

Violent crime has been closely associated with substance abuse since Prohibition was in effect in the United States more than 80 years ago. Since then rates of violent crime have skyrocketed, especially in the decades after the US government took up an active war on drugs. But while a great deal of this violence can be attributed to the enforcement of drug laws, much of it is associated with increased instances of non-enforcement related violent crime like rape, robbery and m

Note: This topic is particularly on my mind right now - I have just had a friend of 20 years drift away. I held on to the illusion that we were still on the same wavelength for about a year. Then I finally had to admit - we just weren't going down the same road any more. Eventually, I let it go and began to move on, but it has been troubling nonetheless! Oddly, I had just met the friend around the same time this piece was written. (Written July 25, 1990)

If your youth work in a low paid job in the very tender age of their life then your nation can never bring anything good to your country or to the world in bigger aspect. Children are the future of the nation. But the financial problem is highly responsible in the poor families which leads the children to work at such a tender age, when they should have went to school to study. Most of them work at unskilled jobs and do not attend school; it is the violation of international

LONELY CREATURES We’re all social animals, even when we sometimes need our privacy Many people in the mental health field, spiritual practices & new-age wisdom say we shouldn’t worry about what others think of us. Yes, OK, but it’s not that simple! What they don’t tell you is that there’s 2 different aspects, the negative & the positive.

Do you feel trapped in a marriage with a husband who undermines you, makes you feel weak rather than strong, or are you always tense or afraid whenever he is around? rnYou should know that divorce is not your only option and that you have more options than you realize. Understanding the cause for your husband’s abusive behaviors is the first step toward seeing, then breaking destructive patterns in your relationship.rnRelationship abuse may begin when a man feels vulnerable

The subject of child abuse has been around for many years, but for some reason only until the last few years has it been recognized as a real problem. Some forms of child abuse that lead to problems later in life are physical, emotional, verbal, incest, etc. When someone is abused as a young child their mind deals with this by creating multiple personalities, drug and alcohol abuse, and as adults you may become an abuser yourself. If you look back at the history of some convicts you will find they were abused as children.

I’ve just returned home after another session with my Psychiatrist, today has really not gone well. I was asked to visit a place that had so many bad memories for me. Dealing with the sexual side of my rehabilitation is a killer. I know that I need this psychotherapeutic treatment, because I am drowning in my own pain. How do I put into words the shear agony that I feel inside when I revisit that place. It feels like someone is tearing out the very heart of me, leaving me fee

YES, I WAS HURT BY MY FAMILY, but they were hurting too, poor things! This is a phrase I’ve heard over the years, & it always makes me mad. You may at first think this post is harsh or unfair, BUT please remember that everything our parents were - WE internalized into our Negative Introject. As long as we deny how harmful their actions were toward us - we will continue doing the same to ourselves, mistreat others AND be mistreated as well! (see posts on ‘The Introject’ & ‘Self-hate’). What does this phrase mean?r

With the staggering amounts of rehab centers in Florida in place, it is difficult to determine which drug rehab program is best. For anyone who is dependent on drugs or alcohol looking for recovery, it's a choice that can change their lives. For anyone who has suffered through the devastating effects caused by drug or alcohol abuse, oftentimes they come to a point in their lives where all they want is to feel better. They ultimately make the choice to put down their drug of c

Why? It’s a questio I have been asked many times both personally and indirectly through my web page. So which why am I being asked here? There are so many whys in my past; it’s quite difficult to pin each one down. This scenario I am sure mirrors the lives of so many people, still unable to answer that particular question for themselves. Let’s now return to the start of this piece and deal with the said questio “would it not be easier to deal with the cause and not the afterm

When we understand narcissistic tendencies, we see how living through a False Self is a recipe for discontentment, anxiety and disappointment. Narcissistic tendencies such as needing approval, status and significance from ‘outside of self’ create a painful life. Rather than establishing being ‘full and content’, happiness is precariously balanced on what is or isn’t happening in the outside world - a place we have absolutely no control over. Narcissistic behavior is

I have just been asked by my counsellor about my sexuality, a questio I have been waiting for that took its time to arrive. The answer has been in my mind for so long waiting to be announced. I truthful didn’t know. So what were my options here? It seems through choice that I am Heterosexual, Bisexual or Lesbian. It all sounds so very clean cut, all the boxes ticked in the right place. The problem I am having, is that not one box has been ticked within me. The three most prom

Freedom is the key to joy and peace. Living alcohol and drug-free gives you the opportunity to experience true freedom, not the false high you get when drunk or high. There are many programs available to people who want to get sober but there are few programs available for those who want to live sober. We live in a world that glamorizes “social drinking.” There is very little social support or encouragement to live a clean and sober lifestyle. The following video portrays

I’m sitting in a big room that makes me feel so small I don’t even recognize the man sitting in front of me but he seems to know all about me by their conversation. My mum is telling him about the fact that I have started wetting the bed, how could she tell this stranger that about me? I feel so ashamed each night fighting harder and harder to stay awake until my eyes were stinging; the covers over my head as I have convinced myself that something came in the night to make th

Michael Jackson must have been under tremendous emotional stress in recent years. He went through a difficult trial. He had a strained relationship with his father. Additionally, being in the spotlight 24/7 can put tension on your emotional state. News reports imply that Michael may have had some chronic sleep problems. This would not be surprising, given his role of being one of the most famous entertainers in the world. It might be reasonable to expect that his earlier trial gave him some anxiety, as well. That could have also led to some depression.

Children of narcissistic parents grow up to become either sensitized or desensitized to narcissistic behaviours, traits, and personalities. In adulthood, sensitized offspring are able to rapidly disce the presence of narcissists by reading their body language and by resonating with subtle cues emitted by the narcissist even when he is on his best behavior and when he puts on a show and embarks on his charm offensives. They experience repulsion, resentment, and rage and react

THE BAD SEED I was born bad & I’ll always be bad Guilt is about actions - it’s the emotion which is caused by disobedience to rules we deeply believe in. On the other hand, SHAME is about our identity - about who we are, fundamentally. It says that our very essence is bad, unlovable, unacceptable - to be eliminated. It makes us: • want to hide, isolate, not talk, try to be invisible • want to be dead! The pain of shame is so great & the conviction that we’re un-redeemable is so deep (not worth saving), that it eliminates Hope. Why bother even trying!r

This situation for me was something I had to contend with for many years. The room is full but for me it may as well have been empty. All I can hear is white noise, were they talking to me? Why would they want to talk to me? Someone asks me if I am ok but the voice seems so far away, somewhat like a distant echo. I am stuck within my mind. Why does the world not stop turning, there is nothing out there but pain and sorrow. All of a sudden the room becomes full, people crowdin

Twenty-one is the age where teenagers are turning into young adults and most young adults at this age love to go to parties and have a good time. Maybe because they know that they won’t be able to do this for much longer. Well, at least for most people that is. I was one of those people. I lived with my aunt in Guthrie, Oklahoma which is about twenty miles from Oklahoma City. I worked at a convenience store as an assistant manager most of my time, but when I was off I was u

The holidays season should be a time of family get-togethers, love shared, and relatives and friends brought up to date. Holidays are supposed to be the reification of that contradiction in terms: mass or group intimacy. Instead, for victims of family violence and abuse, the holidays are recurring nightmares, replete with danger and duplicity, a theater of the absurd with menacing overtones. This is especially true when the offender also has Narcissistic or Antisocial Person

The information and internet are packed with activities of sex-related neglect. Whether it be an elderly people woman, the next entrance next entrance neighbor boy across the street or a efficient young entrepreneur, no one is stored from the chance of being very well abused. It does not have to come by means of sex-related strike or only one occurrence. There are many other types, some that are ongoing, that are just as serious. These are just a few of the side effects a per

Coffee is a widespread hot beverage and also an additive in some foodstuffs. Its high prevalence is possible because of several factors, such as its common international availability and affordability, the absence of alcohol in the raw coffee, and the ease with which the beverage is prepared. In terms of culture, it does not attract the same censure as some other substances. For example, societies which do not consume alcohol may consume substantial amounts of coffee. Anybody

A commentary on the 2007 World Drug Report from the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime by Keith Codenn The 2007 World Drug Report released this week by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, has good news for everyone fighting the war on drugs - the "run away train of drug addiction has slowed down." But lest we err in thinking the problem is licked, the report also bluntly states that one out of every 200 people in the world is "ruled by drugs." That means addic

Whether you’re newly sober or still battling cravings after years of abstinence, it is possible to make it through even the roughest days. For many recovering addicts, morning is the most difficult time of day--cravings seem worse, withdrawal symptoms are sharper, and willpower seems nonexistent. There are a number of steps you can take to start every day drug free--ensuring that the rest of the day goes smoother, as well. Tips to Start Your Day Drug-Free While rehabilitati

Have you ever wondered if you or a loved one is an alcoholic? There are many different definitions and explanations of what alcoholism is and who can be classified as suffering this addiction. Many times these designations are chosen by the various treatment facilities, perhaps the best way to define the disorder is by saying it is a loss of control over the consumption of alcohol to the point that it interferes in major life events. One reason this is a great characterizatio

For someone who has never had a problem with alcohol, it can be difficult to understand why someone cannot simply stop drinking. Doing battle with a true addiction is never going to be easy, which is why an alcohol rehab center can be so beneficial. What to Expect from an Alcohol Rehab Center The process of withdrawal and the subsequent symptoms can often be enough to scare addicts into not going through it. This detoxification process is necessary to remove any alcohol from

The above two words could be seen as travelling in each other’s company, but this concept could not be further away from the truth. If you have every walked the road I was set to travel the difference is insurmountable. Many may even think that the difference is only marginal so why split hairs? We have all at some point in our lives been involved in a sympathetic conversation, given someone that we care about a hug that will make everything turn out right. As we ourselves ha

Morphine addiction has a devastating impact on an individual’s health, relationships and overall quality of life. Morphine is a prescription narcotic that is used to treat pain but is also highly addictive. It produces a euphoric “high” which further heightens the possibility of addiction as does the individual’s tolerance to the drug. Morphine produces both physical and psychological dependence, often making one who is dependent feel that getting free of its hold is

I’m in a bad way I have only just made it to the bathroom before throwing up; sitting there on my cold floor tiles I put my head between my knees just to keep upright. The room is spinning, rotating all around me like some never ending merry go round. I know that this is where I will sleep tonight, not trusting myself to be too far away from the bathroom. Its cold the house is in darkness and has never felt so empty. It’s just me and my drunken stupor, along with my demons, w

For so many years I walked around with an enormous Psychological and Sociological residue, firmly believed that there was no way back for me. I sit here today typing, in the knowledge that the battle within myself is almost over. This is by far the battle you struggle with; it’s so hard to make headway. You can’t hide from your thoughts; equally you are unable to lie to yourself. For the world around us, it’s so easy to think that we are over the worst. People ask how you are

I am sitting next to my mum holding her hand, just as I have been doing for the last thirty days. They have just turned off the life support; I watched her dying breath as it escaped her tiny body. She had gone to hospital with lower back pain, a complaint that should never have caused the loss of life. My head is in my hands, it feels like my body is being torn apart by the hounds of hell. How in the world could this happen. On arrival she had not been seen by the consultant

Trying to justify my resentment, anger and hatred was not worth the price of my health, nor is it worth yours. Today I have not only survived, but thrived and I'll show you how I did it. Resentment is a Latin word meaning to feel anger over and over. Like a poison, it shoots adrenalin into our bodies, raises our blood pressure and begins weakening the cells of our bodies, allowing cancer and any number of diseases to mutate in our weakened cells. I know this to be true becaus

I shoot up in bed sweat pouring from my body, the sheets clinging tightly all around me. I try to adjust my eyes to the light, while they are darting from one corner of the room to another. I know he is here I heard his footsteps on the stairs. He is coming closer and closer to me with ever step that he takes. Suddenly it’s all out there in front of me, the memory of his breath on my face, the rancid taste in my mouth. Invading my body whilst I am unable to move paralysed wit

In May, 2008 I wrote an article focusing on the down side of creativity tied to mental illness. Since then I have worked with many more creative people both as a therapist/counselor and in my volunteer involvement with the Cultural Council of Park County, CO and (helping start) the River Canyon Gallery in Bailey, CO. Also, I have discovered newer writers who take a very different view of what we call “mental disorders,” a view I have been sharing more and more as I continually gain knowledge and experience.r

Just as drug addiction has been on a steady rise throughout the United States, so has a steady growth in the number of drug abuse rehabilitation centers to help those struggle with drug addictions. As long as people can get their hands on alcohol, cigarettes, cocaine, heroin, marijuana, methamphetamine, narcotics, sleeping pills, and other addictive drugs, there will be a need for drug abuse rehabilitation centers to help those who have abused these drugs to the point of drug

If you have ever been abused we all have them. Days that we either choose to push back into the recess of our mind, or we have completely lost all memory of them. To this very day I still recognize this trait within me. In truth the only difference is that I no longer feel the need to revisit them to rake over my past. Having finally dealt with my past I no longer have that over welling compunction. Control is now totally within my grasp. If of my choosing I were to walk thro

I was recently asked why I chose to write and publish a book about abuse and empowerment. Being a victim of child abuse by multiple people and reading everything I could about how to help myself I chose to start sharing with others how they too could benefit from what all I have learned, interpreted and applied to my life. I have met so many other people that have suffered at the hands of adults and we all have a common thread of after effects. I had never read a book on how

When we make the empowered decision to take back control of our lives, there is another hard fact that we need to face up to. While going through the trauma that engulfed our life’s for so many years, there is always going to be a fall out. Mine was the peace and protectio I thought I had imparted to my son. There was a shutter during that time, which when faced with something painful came hammering down. Shutting down was the only way I knew, of getting through those painful

It’s dark and I have no idea of where I am nothing around me looks Familiar, I can hear voices just out of eye shot. My head feels as if it may explode and I am fighting the urge to throw up. There is a swell of disinfectant hanging in the air which is not helping me much. I sit up in bed and try to take in my surroundings. I was not meant to be here, I had taken the decision to close my eyes for the very last time. I feel cheated; once more any control over my own life had b

Who do we see when we look in the mirror? You should be so comfortable with the face you were born with. We have seen ourselves grow and change, from the pictures we have witnessed when we were children. The truth is we never see the real us, the reflection always differs from the way that others see us. I am sure you know what I am talking about here, we think we are to fat but others tell us that not the case. Our hair never seems to look good, while friends ask us for our

When these words are spoken they are always received differently, depending on the impact they have on the person hearing them. For those of you like me who have gone through this experience, we also have a magnitude of different responses. Every one of us has a different story to tell. But let’s first go to those on the outside looking in. There is a stigma attached to those words that was never part of their remit. Association if recognised could taint their very being. The

Birth is a life-changing experience. Each birth brings with it a new and different set of experiences and feelings, but birth trauma can have serious and long-lasting effects. A Swedish study showed that those who have a traumatic and painful birth are more likely to end their life with violent suicide. The pain the infant experiences is an important factor. Birth trauma has also been linked to infant crying and resultant child abuse. In a survey of battered infants, eighty p

An old Cherokee told his grandson one day about a battle that goes on inside people… He told him that the battle was betwee 2 wolves. One is Evil. It’s anger, envy, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other one is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith. At the end of the story The grandson asks ” Which wolf Wins?” The old Cherokee repl

What if I don’t have a talent for creative writing? On the other hand - what if I do? ______

Understanding How Emotional Reactivity Can Get Us Stuck And How to Get Off of the Flypaper. “So, Doc, what’s wrong with my head?” Latesha looked at me pensively. It sounded like a set-up for both of us. The two months she had spent in bed had something to do with her attending to the signals coming from the emotional, as opposed to the rational part of her brain. It also had to do with beliefs she had about her situation and life. But the fact is that our understanding

Much has been written and discussed about the relationship between creativity, particularly creative genius, and insanity, mental illness. Shakespeare wrote, in “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”: “The lunatic, the love and the poet are of imagination all compact.” Still, there is to this day no consensus on this linkage. In Creativity and Madness: New Findings and Old Stereotypes, Albert Rothenberg, M.D.

It’s raining and I am kneeling next to my father’s grave. The dirty water and mud swish all around me but I pay no mind. I have so many questions that need to be answered by a man that has been dead for so many years. Do I remember him or only the stories I have been told over the years? I was only three when he departed this world. As far back as I can remember my Stepfather had told me that I was just like him. My Father had been a violent drunk; my mother had endured a lif

Right off the bat that must sound like such a selfish thing to say, why would I wish what had happened to me on my siblings? But it’s an age-old question that hunted me for many years. Did I do something wrong? Was it because I miss behaved? Surly not I only acted that way to get noticed. If I were noticed, then people couldn't help but see what was happening to me. Anyway why should it only happen to me? There’s that selfish thought again. Truthfully I was not even sure that

Through the writing my book, I have found the strength and hope to come back from a very dark place. My greatest wish would be to impart that message to others. We can all achieve that. There is a place deep inside of us that remains untapped, unless you reach your lowest point, and allow the soul within you to take hold. Today my outlook on life is so very different, instead of the glass being half empty, the glass is half full. There is always a light at the end of the tunn

Alcoholism has been a problem for many years on Turtle Island. Turtle Island is the name of North America according to some indigenous groups based on a Lenape story of the “Great Turtle” which was first recorded in archive between 1678 and 1680 by Jasper Danckaerts. The story has been shared by the Northeastern woodland tribes, most notably the Iroquois.rn rnSince the pilgrims first started arriving in the Americas alcohol has been a major difficulty with Native American

The phrase “Forgive and Forget” is a nice thought but one of those things that is hard to do in practice. My question is why do we link the two in the first place? I have heard some people say that once you forgive somebody for what they have done to you, you should then just move on and continue that relationship like it never happened. In recovery programs looking backwards at your life can be very painful. In Step 4 you not only look at what you have done to others but

I have been asked by a few people of late as to my motivation for writing this book. The answer is twofold. I had to find a way to deal with my demons, which even after all these years, seemed so reluctant to leave. Secondly and I believe just as important, was to reach out to others. It’s easy to think that you are alone in your pai I know I did. You convince yourself, that you’re the only person in the world this could ever have happened to. That in some manner you’re a bad

Parents who want to prevent their children from drinking. Many kids and teens try alcohol. Most children have their first alcohol at an early age, as young as 10 or 11 or even younger. This is dangerous. alcohol can cause special problem for kids and teenagers because many parts of their body are not fully grown yet. They are also more likely to develop problems with alcohol later in life. Many kids to get the wrong message about alcohol. Children are receiving powerful messa

Having worked with many clients recovering from childhood emotional abuse, and having experienced it myself, I want to share my learning with you, in the hope that it will help you be well, feel good, be happy and create the life you desire and deserve.nnThe most important relationship you have in your life is the one with yourself, and if you have been emotionally abused, recovering that relationship with yourself is absolutely essential. nnIn fact, among the consequences of

This letter was written in response to a bogus intervention, as chronicled in the post "The Betrayal." What I did to deal with my anger is written in the post "Anger Contract."

Alcoholism - To Sobriety - To Business Success - My Story I am a true believer that alcoholism is a disease and, unfortunately that disease was bestowed upon me. I started KAS Placement when I was 23 years old (I am 28 now) and began making a lot of money for somebody my age. I would spend it on luxuries which, today, I don't use such a multi-thousand dollar designer watch which I only wear about once a month these days. With initial business success came money and money buys

When it comes to drug use and sex, the popularization of combining the two has come about by inaccurate portrayals of how substance abuse affects this basic human function. Books, movies and television have glorified drugs like ecstasy that purportedly increase a person's libido and greatly enhance the feeling of sex. However, these glorifications generally omit the fact that when drugs and sex are combined, the result is often unwanted pregnancies, the transmission of sexual

As we all are aware of the fact that depression is one of the most infuriating and mentally straining health conditions that has sown its roots in the minds of children along with adult individuals in recent times with increasing at a drastic rate. The severity of this mental disorder and its allied health implication in the general population makes it a major delirious health condition that needs a quick attention. It has been estimated that more than 2 million teenagers as

Life can get a little crazy sometimes. Things can be going smoothly for years on end, and it seems like you're making progress – but then you get hit with some kind of tragedy that just knocks the wind right out of you. Tired of the Same Old Life Then you get hit again – and again. Sometimes it even seems like the whole universe is conspiring against you, and if you're sinking into depression you might even give into that way of thinking. But that's not what's really goin

Domestic violence issues are incredibly sensitive and sometimes horrifying in nature. Since women and girls are mostly the targets of domestic violence, these issues can affect their mental wellbeing. Individuals who have been hurt and abused by the people they trusted, let into their lives, and were supposed to protect them, are three times more likely to suffer from anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or another severe related condition. Since it is challe

The holiday season is considered to be one of the most hectic times for police and traffic departments due to the significant increase in impaired or drunk driving. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), there are more than 1000 people in America who are killed across the country in highway crashes between Thanksgiving and New Year. Despite the various campaigns that have been run by parents, social workers, activists and police departments,

Advocacy Coach is a term that we have not heard much, but this is a very important role that someone plays in the life of the disability community. Before the laws few people acknowledged that there is a disability community. Today, we're still on the outskirts looking in. People with disabilities still don't have opportunities in the workplace even though we have laws on the books today to guarantee us these rights. Especially now that there is 10% unemployment. The only option is to look to self employment.

When you were growing up were you taught that making everyone happy and ‘keeping the peace’ was more important than your own needs? rnDo you put great effort into your relationship but still find you can’t please your partner or stop his cruel words, actions or even physical assaults? You may be suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder’s opposite, Codependence . rnEvery narcissist needs a source to feed off and a codependent is their favorite food! Narcissists

Bullies are people we deal with 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They’re our coworkers, neighbors, acquaintances, strangers, and, yes, even family and friends slip on their bully masks from time to time. (Some more than others!) No matter who, where, or why, bullies can make you feel miserable and about as small as the period at the end of this sentence.nnMale or female, young or old, short or tall, fat or thin—I think you see where I’m going with this—bullies aren’t

Back in 1976, my family was living in Pakistan, where I was conceived. My dad had borrowed just enough money to fly himself to Canada. It took him four years before he could save up the money to fly my mom and my five siblings to Canada as well. So, I had absolutely no communication with my dad until I came to Canada at the age of four.nnOnce in Canada, both my parents worked full-time to create a lifestyle for us. All my time was therefore spent in school, and at baby-sitter

My entire life has been a cycle of wanting to live with vengeance and needing to numb the constant pai I feel. Pain that I found unbearable. Numbing entailed irresponsibility. Denial. Aloofness. Any way to keep myself from feeling fledging terror and anger has been my modus operandi. The hurt. ...

How to cope with your abuser? Sometimes it looks hopeless. Abusers are ruthless, immoral, sadistic, calculated, cunning, persuasive, deceitful - in short, they appear to be invincible. They easily sway the system in their favor. Here is a list of escalating countermeasures. They represent the distilled experience of thousands of victims of abuse. They may help you cope with abuse and overcome it. Not included are legal or medical steps. Consult an atto ey, an accountant, a

The term Fat Burners is such a forceful expression that it calls to mind some ultra-fast acting technique to lose weight. What Really Are Fat Burners And How Do They Work? Fat burners are dietary supplements that supposedly help speed up your body metabolism so that you burn calories faster and lose weight. Marketers of these products say these supplements help you become slimmer in a controlled manner and in the process make you feel more energetic. The truth however is far

Technology has brought about a change in how we look at employment today. Problem is colleges still tell students to look for jobs with corporations, that no longer exist. Those jobs went out with the BABY BOOMER Generation. When employees went to work with Corporations back in the 50's, ...

If we look at the most disheartening things happening around the globe these days, Child Abuse will be the one which will be placed on the top of the list. Each day brings with it some new story on this issue and it is hard to believe the amount of torture children have to face through all this. But there are plenty of people who still are not aware of what is happening around them or they ignore these issues just because they are not well informed about its workaround. We ou

Myth of Silence Silence as a survival tool. Generations of children have been sexually abused. It was done to them in secret and they remain silent. Not talking about the painful childhood experiences has been a survival tool. The shame and secrecy that surrounds sexual abuse of children keeps everyone silent. This was not your fault! Getting help and support is an essential and practical way of dealing with childhood sexual abuse. It is not a sign of weakness and failure. Sharing the Pain

Now deceased, Michael Jackson is more powerful than ever before. This story has made frontline news in all the world’s paper for 3 days straight now. No other news is seemingly is so captivating; not Jon and Kate, not US economic woes, not even the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Michaels’ death has suddenly revived his career. Yes, revived. In all likelihood, he may generate more money then he ever did alive. Already record stores, iTunes, and Amazon have experience enormo

Any physical injury on any part of the child body is taken in a very serious manner particularly when it is provided intentionally by a group of people ranging from friends, seniors at school, teacher, fellow students, parents or relatives. Though the Child Abuse Lawyer New York works against parents as well but in most of the cases it is the child’s friends or teachers who are the culprits. Parents need to take this matter very seriously and act accordingly so that this ma

It is natural to have questions about alcohol and drug detox, especially when you are considering stepping away from your life to get help for a substance abuse problem. Making the decision to get detox help can be a difficult one, but hopefully these answers will give you some peace of mind. What is alcohol and drug detoxification? Detoxification is the process of eliminating the chemical toxins from your system that have collected as a result of your alcohol and drug abus

There is one place in which one's privacy, intimacy, integrity and inviolability are guaranteed - one's body, a unique temple and a familiar territory of sensa and personal history. The torturer invades, defiles and desecrates this shrine. He does so publicly, deliberately, repeatedly and, often, sadistically and sexually, with undisguised pleasure. Hence the all-pervasive, long-lasting, and, frequently, irreversible effects and outcomes of torture. In a way, the torture vic

Even though health care is a hot topic, people often lack awareness of how policies directly affect them. “Behavioral health” (a.k.a. mental health insurance) is no exception. Rather than being put off guard by unexpected impacts, the following is an overview of some main issues that surface when an insurance company becomes part of your therapy. Armed with information, you can then make an educated decision about utilizing insurance benefits or paying out of pocket. Impacts 1. Confidentialityr

I often hear domestic violence survivors complain that the counselor they are seeing with their partner has sided with him/her. These victims expected to seek therapeutic remedy for the dysfunction that they live, and they discover they have gained another “enemy.” Here are some things you will want to know if you are going to a therapist with your partner for domestic abuse. 1) Expect the therapy to be fertile ground for a continuation of what you experience in the priva

It's usually much easier to get into an abusive relationship than to get out of it. Everything from fear of retaliation to feeling helpless can make it difficult for a victim of abuse to sever ties with the abuser. Things like unemployment, underemployment, codependency, and not wanting the children to suffer (though they probably already are!) can also make it extremely hard for the victim to simply walk away. And in dire cases, the pernicious prospect of being publicly humi

Breaking the spirit of people I am sad to say is an accepted method of control in our society. It is done in some cases as part of a regimen of discipline, by others unwittingly as they are not aware of their own destructive powers. People do it to other people and humans do it to animals. What does this actually mean? Well in order to exert influence, will, control, very harsh measures are taken to achieve a desired outcome in the person who it is being inflicted upon. The

I often come across sad examples of the powers of self-delusion that the narcissist provokes in his victims. It is what I call "malignant optimism". People refuse to believe that some questions are unsolvable, some diseases incurable, some disasters inevitable. They see a sign of hope in every fluctuation. They read meaning and patterns into every random occurrence, utterance, or slip. They are deceived by their own pressing need to believe in the ultimate victory of good ove

Alcohol abuse is a type of disease. Individuals who abuse alcohol will drink it in excess despite the fact that it negatively impacts every aspect of their lives. Approximately two thousand individuals aged less than twenty one die in alcohol related crashes every year. Around one half of violent teenage deaths are tied to alcoholic beverages as well. Natural cures for alcoholism combine to successfully end the cycle of destruction. Using the correct balance of counseling, so

What is Abundance? Maybe we need to rethink abundance. I lived my first nine years in England, from 1944 to 1953. In all those years we were under rationing. Food was doled out frugally, to the point that my sister and I suffered from malnutrition. Automobiles were scarce, we never got a television or a refrigerator, yet we had all we needed for life, and it felt just fine. When we came to the United States we entered a world of an abundance of goods, services, infinite landscapes, a seeming inexhaustible supply of wonderful things.

All of us have been emotionally hurt at one time or another—it doesn’t matter who and what you are, really. However, there are also people who seem so totally unreceptive to emotional pain. These are the type who doesn’t give a smack when someone tries to get close to them with a bit of an emotional bonding experience, and who rarely (if ever) attempt some kind of a smile. Maybe they have been badly burned or are just afraid of getting burned, so they build their little

Time for HealingnnWe have to go through some unfortunate experiences sometimes in our life. When you speak with other people you will always find out how easy your experience is in comparison to what they have suffered. The impact that experience has brought on your life cannot be identified in your immediate moment but on the contrary will be understood once you step out of the experience itself.nnWe always seem to look for reasons to justify our experiences or lessons in li

As cyberbullying has emerged with the development of technology, for many parents, it may feel a bit like uncharted territory. On many difficult topics, We often relate to our children by similar experiences during our childhood. However, due to its recent appearance, cyberbullying is likely not something you experienced as a kid. Answer these five questions to help you begin to identify if your child has become the target of cyberbullying. Have you noticed a change in emotio

"The new narcissist is haunted not by guilt but by anxiety. He seeks not to inflict his own certainties on others but to find a meaning in life. Liberated from the superstitions of the past, he doubts even the reality of his own existence. Superficially relaxed and tolerant, he finds little use for dogmas of racial and ethnic purity but at the same time forfeits the security of group loyalties and regards everyone as a rival for the favours conferred by a pate alistic state.

Sexual harassment is, unfortunately, nothing new in the corporate culture. It is not just limited to workplaces, but women face it in their everyday life. They are harassed in public even when there are so many people around. According to research, one in four women have reported that they were harassed on their job. While there have been many steps to protect women against harassment, we still see too many cases. You should know that there is a law to protect you and that yo

Changes in our life come disguised as the ultimate human freedom. Why? Because the ultimate human freedom is power to choose, to respond to change and not to remain in overwhelm, frustration and fear. Initially change does not usually appear as feelings of freedom! Based on my past experiences, there have not been too many that initially bring with them feelings of freedom! However, there is one I can recall that was an anonymous gift of money ($4,000) I received, that changed the course of my life. It restored my faith in humanity!

Thappad is a movie about a slap. It is a story of how a woman suffers after her husband slaps her. The main lead in this movie is Tapsee Pannu who has done superb acting. She has played the role of Amrita and has done very good acting. She has shown all the expressions the woman can go through. It is very sad that in this society also when we are talking about women empowerment, these kinds of things happen. People do such things. Women should be empowered. Her husband sla

Details about Michael Jackson’s passing are still fuzzy, but already people are drawing conclusions about the superstar’s premature demise. One media thread has him using prescription medications in what may have been a troubling way http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/25/michael-jackson-prescript_n_221178.html, railing http://www.huffingtonpost.com/deepak-chopra/a-tribute-to-my-friend-mi_b_221268.html against the so-called “enablers” who made sure he had access to

I have been looking at a book by Claudia Black, “My Dad Loves Me, My Dad Has A Disease” (A Child’s View: Living With Addiction, full of pictures and writing by children), and remembering the children of addiction, and the mentally ill. I have seen five-year-olds acting like little adults, some even saving their parents from death by overdose and other calamities. I have seen children acting out to be the cry for help for the family. I have worked with children who have learned to dissociate, check out of their bodies and minds to escape the pain.

With the state of Florida having just passed legislation this year that makes drug testing of welfare recipients mandatory, the connections between welfare reform and drug abuse have been hotly and publicly debated by politicians and homemakers alike. However, both sides of this issue are basing their opinions and potential policy-making decisions on data that may only be anecdotal. This is complicated further by the sensationalism with which this issue is often reported. But

Abusers exploit, lie, insult, demean, ignore (the "silent treatment"), manipulate, and control. There are a million ways to abuse. To love too much is to abuse. It is tantamount to treating someone as an extension, an object, or an instrument of gratification. To be over-protective, not to respect privacy, to be brutally honest, with a sadistic sense of humor, or consistently tactless - is to abuse. To expect too much, to denigrate, to ignore - are all modes of abuse. There

In order to help you get over a drug addiction problem you will need to make some big changes in your life, which go beyond simply stopping the physical use of the drug. A good approach to use is a holistic one that addresses every part of your body and your mind in order to improve your overall well-being in addition to getting rid of your addiction problem. Such an approach requires an understanding of how to implement it which you can get by checking into a Tulsa drug reha

YOUR POWER IS NOW. "NOW faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Heb 11:1 Whether you're thinking about yesterday, pondering the events of today, visualising your future in ten years time, or remembering an experience in your childhood, you are creating NOW, in this current moment. The creative powerhouse within you, your heart or spirit, is always active in the present tense. It is always in the present time zone of "NOW". I believe the r

pgs. = http://www.acoarecovery.com – Then click on SITE MAP ACoAs = adult-children of alcoholics & other abusersr A = Abandonmentrn(A) = Adultr As = Actions A/A = Abuse & Abandonment AC = Adapted Child AEC = Adult Ego State B = Boundaries B.P. = Bad Parent (same as IT) (C) = Child CDs = Cognitive Distortions CES = Child’s Ego State C-R = Cognitive Restructuring Es = Emotions E.S. = Ego States FoA = Fear of abandonmentr FoC = Fear of commitmentr FoO = Family of Originr FoV = Fear of Visibility

("He" in this text - to mea "He" or "She"). We react to serious mishaps, life altering setbacks, disasters, abuse, and death by going through the phases of grieving. Traumas are the complex outcomes of psychodynamic and biochemical processes. But the particulars of traumas depend heavily on the interaction between the victim and his social milieu. It would seem that while the victim progresses from denial to helplessness, rage, depression and thence to acceptance of the tra

A lot of survivors of sexual and physical abuse feel they need to confront someone about it. Face down the perpetrator and tell him (usually him) – tell him what? That what he did was wrong. That it was hurtful and did substantial harm.

Taking care of ones Heart and overall health is important to living a long and prosperous life. It is true, Heart Disease can run in families, but there are things the average person can do to try and avoid and Heart complications. -First, many people don't realize how important exercise really is. Even if you don't have any exercise equipment in the home, just walking around the block a few times can serve the purpose. Not only does exercise help digestion and burn off calories, it improves the circulatory system and contributes to the mental well being of a person.

Why did this happen to me? How could God let it happen to me? These are the questions we often ask ourselves when we are victims of any kind of abuse...whether it be spousal abuse or stranger abuse. Now that I have your attention, allow me to introduce myself. I am Loretta Hall, victim of both spousal abuse and a survivor of a sexual abuse crime. At the present time, I am a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping people overcome the residual effects of abuse. Through

This world is not perfect. In fact, it has become the farthest thing from perfect. It’s just like a jungle with more civilized animals. We have created rules and regulations to keep everyone disciplined and civilized, but some people always find a way to get in touch with the animal inside them. Humans are basically good of heart, but the world changes us. The worst thing we can do is hurt another living being, which has, unfortunately, become more common than it should be.

The bible tells a story about four men who sat at the entrance of the city's gate dying with leprosy, an incurable disease which causes terribly visible swelling and sores on the skin, only then to eat inward to the bones. These lepers sat outside of the city because they were not permitted to live within the city because of this contagious and incurable disease. These men were faced with a fatal disease, they were outcasts, and they were starving because of a feminine in the

Lack of "emotional safety" is the number one indicator of a potentially dangerous relationship. It may seem subtle, yet it is ever so significant with respect to your well-being.nnWhen you have emotional safety, it's palatable. You can feel it in every fiber of your being. When it's missing, you may feel its loss. Or, you may simply know of it not being there by the presence of these five glaring signs.nn 1) Not honoring your privacy nnIf something is in a drawer, it's in a d

How does childhood trauma affect the brain? Originally Published on November 15, 2011 on HotMommaGossip.com Written Byr Jane Simingtonr PhD, Grief & Trauma Educator and Therapist Healthy bonding and attachment are crucial to development from the first days of life. Well cared-for babies are able to process and integrate both positive and negative experiences. This helps them add adaptive learning to their repertoire of behaviors and attitudes allowing them to more readily man

Drunk driving involvement in fatal motor-vehicle crashes is on the rise. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, alcohol was involved in 41 percent of fatal crashes in 1995. Between 1982 and 1993, 266,291 deaths in the United States were alcohol related - one fatality every 30 minutes. How about trying a Breathalyzer. What if friends started to talk about drunk driving? nnGrowing up in high school I remember my friends talking about how wasted they go

-The man who quits his job because of harassment. -The woman whose husband stays out late at night repeatedly and tells her he is entitled to do what he wants. -The child whose parent tells him often “you are lazy”. What do these people have in common? All of them have relationships with bullies. Bullies can be anywhere, at work, at school, on the road (road rage), in the mall or in the family. Whether you are a bully yourself, a target of a bully or even a witness, abusive

Throughout my childhood I received consistent messages that demonstrated the power of a dysfunctional family. The disease of my parents and abusers robbed me of my boundaries and individuality – the right to have a self. Remembering back now, through the years of oppression and sexual abuse, there was a spark that remained, gently flickering inside of me. This spark was the powerful need to become myself.

As a survivor of domestic violence, I have learned that fear can play a big part in keeping women locked in abusive relationships. Some of those fears are very real and some are just illusions. Threats by the abuser, threats against the children, or physical violence are truly real fears. Those in the community need to know how to help with these issues. To better understand the fear an abused woman experiences, one must first understand the dynamics of abuse. This can only b

Tomorrow morning, Thursday May 28th, I travel to Oregon’s Capitol in Salem, to testify in support of House Bill 2827. This bill will lengthen the Statute of Limitations for those who have suffered sexual abuse. It is being met with much opposition from the Catholic church, the Mormon church and a few Senators who are siding with crooked individuals in order to protect the funds of their institutions. What about our children? That question will be my main focus. Sexual abuse

It's 2009 and I recently saw a report on MSNBC about how the tough economic situation in the United States is contributing to a higher incidence of child abuse. You can find bad news all over the Internet. The statistics on child abuse show a little under a million children are victims of neglect and abuse each year in the U.S. In fact, while 3 million accounts of child abuse are reported annually in the U.S. each year, experts estimate the actual number of incidents is about

Maybe we need to rethink abundance. I lived my first nine years in England, from 1944 to 1953. In all those years we were under rationing. Food was doled out frugally, to the point that my sister and I suffered from malnutrition. Automobiles were scarce, we never got a television or a refrigerator, yet we had all we needed for life, and it felt just fine. When we came to the United States we entered a world of an abundance of goods, services, infinite landscapes, a seeming inexhaustible supply of wonderful things.

Normalcy bias is a natural, but uninformed response to the unknown, unrecognized risks in a situation. For 15 million women a year, it’s an incapacitating response to abuse in relationship. Normalcy bias can be described as inaccurate, inadequate thinking that makes things worse. It surfaces at the worst possible moment as a freeze or panic response—think deer in headlights or bull in a china shop—and it can lead to disaster.

Very few people in Connecticut are familiar with the terms “Work Place Bully and Mobbing” although according to the Workplace Bullying Institute’s - Zogby survey on workplace bullying, this problem is of epidemic proportions affecting 49% of workers nationally.nn ...

Recently, the truth behind Austell's methadone outpatient program has been revealed, shedding light on the problematic aspects of the program. While the program was created with good intentions to help individuals struggling with addiction, it has been found that the program lacks proper oversight and regulation. This has led to instances of misconduct and abuse within the program, causing harm to those seeking help for their addiction. One of the main issues with Austell's m

Did you know the signs of emotional verbal abuse are your friends if you recognize them for what they are?nnAn adult survivor of severe childhood abuse by her natural father plotted with her sister (also abused) to kill their parents in cold blood. The mother, who watched the children being abuse, took the first bullet and the abusive father the second.nnAs I'm watching this Law in Order story, I'm reminded of the mother's dilemma. Love, or leave 'em? Each of these options ca

The anti-social nature of drug addiction results in a "Life-Style". The addict becomes out-of-synch with the social structure in which he must live. Addicts begin to associate only with other addicts or drug dealers and then transcend into the subculture of drug use. Paranoia triggered by ...

We know it happens; yet when we see it, we’re in shock. And when we experience it, we’re numb. How can a family member, who once claimed to cherish you, plot to back you into a fabricated psychiatric label and sentence of craziness?nnThat is the question that dumbfounds anyone who walks in these shoes. Sadly, most victims of “crazy-making” don’t realize they are walking this path until the psychiatric doors are locked...until the psychotropic drugs are administered.

When you want to stop binge eating, you need to make a decision and change your old habits. Perhaps these habits have been around for years, but no matter how long they have been your fallback, you need to make changes and create new, positive habits for yourself. You need to end the pattern. When you want to stop binge eating, you need to make a decision and change your old habits. Perhaps these habits have been around for years, but no matter how long they have been your fallback, you need to make changes and create new, positive habits for yourself.

You are not his/her words, though it doesn’t feel that way when you are being abused. On a very deep level, you believe those words of disregard, disapproval, disrespect…even the ones that are absolutely foul.nnYet, in a more surface way, you claim not to buy that trash. You know those are just his/her words. And you’ve heard that the verbal abuse showered upon you is not about you.nnSo how can you bring all of you aboard to no longer feel the blow of verbal emotional a

What’s great about this little book is that it identifies all kinds of situations where people spontaneously regress into childish behaviors. Maybe a guy in the car behind me at a red light blows his horn and nudges forward as soon as the light turns green. His behavior makes me feel ridiculously helpless, because he mimics my father’s arbitrary anger. Or a friend calls to cancel a date and I spiral into fear that no one loves me. These out-of-control feelings are typical of regression.

Incest and Child Sexual Abuse: Definitions, Perpetrators, Victims, and EffectsnnnDefinition of Child Sexual AbusennChild sexual abuse is any form of sexual activity with a child by an adult, or by another child where there is no consent or consent is not possible; or by another child who has power over the child. By this definition, it is possible for a child to be sexually abused by another child who is younger than they are. nnSexual abuse includes, but is not limited to, s

Pepper Spray: When buying pepper spray the things that need to be looked at are the scoville heat units, percentage of pepper and oleoresin from capsicum plants. Remember mace is a name brand not a pepper spray. The product is as equal as any other name brand other than the components in it. Really not a good choice to buy for the reason 99% of mace brand pepper spray does not have oleoresin capsicum which is the leading ingredient that needs to be looked for when buying pepp

Gang / group rape is when an individual is raped by two or more persons. It has a high occurrence among teenagers and is usual motivated by adolescent boys with a strong sex drive.rnAs with most rapes, they are not reported due to trauma and shame. However gang rapes are normally more physically abusive and as a result the victims are more likely to seek medical assistance than other forms of rape. Group / gang rape victims suffer similar issues as regular rape victims: * Sha

How are you going to stop cyber bullying? I read many articles, newspapers, and talk shows where so-called experts are telling us all there is now a war against cyber bullying and how we can win that war? Oh please! Bullying has been happening since the beginning of time and in all cultures and nations. A war against cyber bullying will be as successful as the war against drugs. It’s a sad but realistic fact that cyber bullying exists and is spreading as fast as technology

The first choice that can turn ones life in another direction is the choice I am referring to. This choice is to use or not use drugs or alcohol for the first time. If one is educated and prepared when they come face to face with this decision, is priceless. This is your first choice and very possibly your last. It happens much, much to often. There are great numbers of parents that know this fact, first hand. Talking to your children about the disguises of this first choice

We are Known for doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. Some call this addictive insanity, returning to past self-defeating behavior and thinking is a perfect example of addicitive insanity. This mind set can derail our recovery from self-defeating beliefs and behaviors. We find ourselves justifying a return to these beliefs and actions. nDiscomfort with personal responsibility or dealing with unpleasant emotions is not new to us. We deal with these

Is One Parent a Narcissist and the Other an Enabler? To find out if you have a narcissistic parent and a parent who enables him or her, please answer yes or no to the following twenty questions: Did you grow up in a two parent home with one parent significantly more domineering than the other? Was one of your parents verbally abusive to the other parent and the other parent put up with it? Did your more passive parent put your abusive parent “on a pedestal,” or idolize him

SERVANT or MASTER of YOUR CASTLE Who’s the boss of you? ACoA SYMBIOSIS (S.) An unhealthy attachment to others as a way to: • compensate for emotional abandonment in childhood • to cope with deep anxiety of being a separate entity • escape having to face the struggle of growing up emotionally • mask self-hate & fear of abandonment As we heal we move thru layers of growth with the ultimate goal of being Inter-dependent. Symbiosis ------>Autonomy -------> Attachment ------> Inter-dependence AUTONOMYr

Dear Friend, nnI would like to share with you something I learned from personal experience – I was emotionally and mentally abused for about 15 years in my childhood – in the hope it will be of help to you in your journey to freedom, healing and happiness. And you will get there, that is for sure. nnThe first thing you need to do is make a decision to break free and say, ‘No more’ and begin taking back control over your life, and NEVER ever give up. I know you are inc

The narcissist constructs a narrative of his life that is partly confabulated and whose purpose is to buttress, demonstrate, and prove the veracity of the fantastically grandiose and often impossible claims made by the False Self. This narrative allocates roles to significant others in the narcissist’s personal history. Inevitably, such a narrative is hard to credibly sustain for long: reality intrudes and a yawning abyss opens between the narcissist’s self-imputed divinity a

Children develop skills in a predictable sequence that must be followed. For instance, babies do not learn to walk before they crawl. They babble before they speak words. They use parallel play earlier than interactive play. In the same way, they learn to cope with stressors, solve problems, and interact with the world appropriately in an expected progression of developmental milestones. We do not expect a two year old to organize a game by rules. Nor do we anticipate that first graders will arrange a rescue in a natural or man-made disaster.

I came across this poem 10 years ago that I think is still appropriate today when you talk about people with disabilities and how well we are excepted into society. People with physical and mental disabilitiesnhath been abandoned at birth,nbanished from societynused as a court jesters,ndrowned ...

Reducing Society's Dilemma to the Ultimate Basic Fundamental truth..nThe ultimate truth cannot be " figured out " by the human mind ..it must be observed through the Human consciousness.. when you can see this and experience you can accept this at an extraordinary elevated level of consciousness... a deeper dimension of understanding..This can only be achieved through a deep feeling process..to reach the core of our beginningsnnThe problem with society is the focus of the int

AM I ME, AM I YOU & ARE YOU ME? I hate myself, but I also want you to be exactly like me! SYMBIOSISr

By Sam Vakninr Author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" Most narcissists enjoy an irrational and brief burst of relief after having suffered emotionally ("narcissistic injury") or after having sustained a loss. It is a sense of freedom, which comes with being unshackled. Having lost everything, the narcissist often feels that he has found himself, that he has been re-born, that he has been charged with natal energy, able to take on new challenges and to explore

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would become an award winning international speaker, international businessman and bestselling author. Let me explain why I felt that none of these things were within my reach.n nToday I truly believe that greatness, prosperity and success are our divine rights. That’s not how I felt a few years ago, back then deep down inside I thought success was really for the lucky folks, you know the smart crowd, the beautiful people.nn

We hear a lot in the ‘spiritual’ community about forgiveness- ie - not blaming. That applies to the present - if you’re an adult. And that’s a discussion for another blog. BUT this entry is about what happened TO US as children. A hallmark of alcoholic (& other emotionally unhealthy) families is the mistreatment of their children in all 4 of life’s aspects: Spiritual, Emotional, Mental, Physical. rnâ¼ PARENTAL BLAME is abuse in the first 3 categories !

Domestic violence negatively affects everyone in the family — the offender, the spouse, the children, and the next generation. Stopping and healing violence in the home will involve the whole family getting help, with or without the offender, whether reunification is antici¬pated or not. ...

When you were a child, and you were hurt by an adult, you put up emotional walls to protect yourself from hurt, and to hold in anger. You didn't have the tools yet to deal with hurt and anger. The walls were useful while you were learning what it was all about. Maybe someone told you, "Don't ...

I found the right man for me. We could communicate into all hours of the night. He sat behind me in the band rehearsals in college. His clarinet and my flute playing on stage kept us attending the same functions and classes. Meeting at a dance the first night of school made me aware he was a very good dancer, and I thought he was attractive.nnWe dated during our four years in college. Some times were better than others, however, I saw the difficulties we experienced as typica

Like many people who’ve endured Narcissistic and emotional abuse, you probably didn’t realize what was happening to you until you reached a point of near insanity and began searching desperately for reasons why your fairytale romance took a grievous turn for the worse. Further, the person you love has made you feel you can’t do anything right. The salvation of the relationship always lies on the distant horizon and is entirely dependent upon your changing something about you

If you experienced child abuse, you've likely had the messages of family shame ingrained into the depths of your being. Do you remember hearing the following types of messages? Message #1: "You won't amount to much." Message #2: "I'm bending over backwards raising you kids. There's so much that I sacrifice. I haven't even bought myself a new pair of shoes in 2 years." Message #3: "You need to…" (be or do something your family approves of) Maybe the messages weren't stated a

Before we can understand how to deal with drug abuse, we need to understand what Drug abuse is and what it is all about. This is a very serious condition and we need to take it very serious. it has lead to the destruction of may families, death, misuse of life. What is drug abuse? Compulsive, excessive, and self-damaging use of habit forming drugs or substances, leading to addiction or dependence, serious physiological injury (such as damage to kidneys, liver, heart) and/or psychological harm (such as dysfunctional behavior patterns, hallucinations, memory loss), or death.

Computer software or merely software can be an amount of personal computer software programs in addition to linked data that include the guidance pertaining to revealing to some type of computer how to handle it in addition to the way to undertake it. Software refers to more than one personal computer software programs in addition to data used in the safe-keeping of the personal computer for most reasons. Put simply, software can be some software programs, processes, algorith

I’ve been in several long-term relationships in my 40 something years, and I was always the one who made the decision to leave. It wasn’t always abuse that caused me to leave but normally it had to do with my asking the question “Why am I here?” Relationships, to me, ...

BackgroundnWhile many behavioral and psychiatric disorders have a biological base, they may also have roots in early childhood maltreatment and in exposure to violence. The overlap between behavioral /psychiatric disorders and histories of childhood trauma is greater than has been previously ...

"I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED! I can take care of you, but not myself" Growing up in dysfunctional families, ACoAs were not allowed to fully develop their own personality & identity, attend to their own needs, or have their own feelings – about anything. We had no choice but to focus on our wounded parents and their needs, moods & demands. (see ‘Toxic rules’) • we were expected to grow up too fast - but only so we could relieve them of the burden of caring for us AND so we could be there for themr

This book answers vital questions about recovered memories of childhood sexual abuse. How can the huge betrayal of sexual abuse remain hidden in the back corners of someone’s psyche for years and years? Can we really believe a memory that was hidden so long?

We learn much of what we learn initially through repetitious exposure. It is by becoming present to something repeatedly that space is created for us to learn anew. It is by taking that which we are exposed to and bringing it forth into our life, committing it to action, that we begin to change or transform our life in some way. This is especially true with respect to the possibilities made available through transformation. The DAILY HOMEWORK is about the creation of possibil

What is the essence of addiction from a scientific standpoint? What facts support the foundation that supposes that an “addict” has no control and that free will has nothing to do with their ability to stop? What indicates that without help, they have little or no hope of recovering, from ...

State officials take down a respected health care facility because they were too successful.nnDespite the recent atrocities in New York that caused the removal of a now former Governor, Eliot Spitzer, what most people are unaware of is that the corruption doesn't stop there. The State of New York has been trying to lower its Medicaid spending for a while. The Medicaid system provides a health care benefit to the indigent population, funded in part by the State. However, behin

I am in my therapist’s office, after finding out about my daughter’s sexual abuse, and I am slowly recalling the morning after the first time I was sexually violated by my stepfather…..nnI saw myself as a young child, sewing a cloak of many new colors, a cloak of artificial self-esteem and confidence. This new cloak would carry me through most of my adult life. This cloak was a shield protecting me from who I became overnight:nnUnworthy, unloved, invisible, ugly, and us

NOBODY LOVES ME - I’m going to eat worms & die! Part 1: Essence, Source - Past & Present PURPOSE for S-H - TO: • protect our ideal of having good, loving, safe parents • protect us from feeling our old abandonment pain • keep from risking change (fear we’ll die if we S & I) • keep us attached to the family (stave off deep loneliness) • prevent us from dealing with ‘ugly emotions’ like our rage, envy, longing, hopelessness... • protects us from Growing up, taking care of ourselves (we want to be taken care of! no matter what the cost is) â¼ WHY IS IT SO HARD TO GIVE UP S-H?r

According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse , drug abuse rates declined by almost eight percent from 2002 to 2013. However, there is still a large treatment gap, which results in over 20 million Americans failing to receive needed substance abuse help. Below introduces four excellent resources for breaking a substance addiction. Group Help There are a variety of programs that offer both individual and group-based support. These include Narcotics Anonymous, Families Anon

When a child growing up is traumatized by incest, usually he or she is forced to hide the trauma and “act normal.” The wounded part gets split off so the pain and shame can become secret, even to the child herself. Sometimes actual memories of abuse are suppressed or lost, while ...

Getting in touch with our inner children is not always easy. At first it might seem that they just want to cry and cry. That’s natural. The parts of us that were split off at a young age had to go away for good reasons—abuse, fear, neglect, misunderstanding. These young parts were not allowed to express their overwhelming feelings, so they took the feelings away with them. When we invite these lost inner children back into our lives, we have to be ready for them to express a lot of distress. But what do we do then? How do we soothe the inner child?

Have you ever watched a group of children playing together? There's so much energy and so much smiling. There's lots of running around, and then inevitably, somebody starts crying. Someone gets mad. There's a bit of emotional chaos. Sometimes a grown-up has to step in and sometimes the kids work it out themselves. You might call it child's play. After all that's what children do. They run around, they have fun, they quarrel, and then they get up and do it all over again. But

Despite a 30-year inquiry into the subject, many people remain uninformed about the true nature of one of the biggest social issues facing America today. A witness offers a quick look that reveals some implications and solutions for all of us. If a jet liner with 300 passengers went down every day, it would be on the news every night. How is it that 80,000 health care visits every day due to interpersonal abuse doesn’t make the news? Abuse veteran, anthropologist and writer, Anna Moss connects the dots for the uninitiated to show how this subject touches everyone.

The work of Dan Millman is very powerful for assisting a person in transforming his or her life. In my work as a psychotherapist at the Holistic Addiction Treatment Program I introduce all of the clients to “The Way of the Peaceful Warrior” both as a book and as the movie. The movie and book are about a person who learns about never giving up and in the process begins a process of transforming his life. The process is about becoming present to that which he was no

Lidija Rangelovska advanced the idea that some children subjected to abuse in dysfunctional families – objectified, dehumanized, their boundaries breached, and their growth stunted – develop intense feelings of shame. They turn out to be codependents or narcissists owing to their genetic makeup and innate character. According to her, children who turned out to be codependents as adults are resilient, while the more fragile narcissists seek to evade shame by concocting and the

Life can be tough, and as we all know, it's even more complicated when trying to stop binge eating disorder. We are thrown obstacles and our drive can sometimes seem obscured. Even in these struggles, your goal needs to stay at the forefront of your mind, so that you learn how to stop binge ...Life can be tough, and as we all know, it's even more complicated when trying to stop binge eating disorder. We are thrown obstacles and our drive can sometimes seem obscured. Even in these struggles, your goal needs to stay at the forefront of your mind, so that you learn how to stop binge eating.

Abuse Survivor's Series: nUsing Overreactions To Begin Healing Our Childhood WoundsnBy: Stephanie Gagos nnAs an abused child I frequently detached as a way of coping with what was happening to me and even though most of my memories were devoid of emotion, it did not mean I was not experiencing emotion. My mother’s unpredictable violence forced me to suppress whatever internal turmoil I was feeling, in order to survive. This pattern of suppression and detachment became n

1. Sticks and stones won’t break my bones” – and words won’t leave any measurable physical damage, but they will cause progressive, long-term harm. Never underestimate the power of words: words are used to brainwash. Being told you are “stupid”, “ugly”, “lazy” or “worthless” is never acceptable. The first times you hear it, it will hurt, naturally. In time you “may get used to” hearing it from a partner. That’s when you start to internalise and believe it. When that happens

Sexual abuse is a life altering experience that impacts on many aspects of your life daily. I liken it to being held hostage with a gun to your head. You spend your days trying to prevent the gun from going off. This may be a graphic description for some; however, if you have experienced sexual abuse you will resonate with this description.

Verbal abuse is toxic. The following is Kate Carlson, OTR/L interviewing domestic abuse consulting expert Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. in an effort to help people recognize and understand verbal abuse in unhealthy relationships.nnn 1) KATE CARLSON: In your words, please define verbal abuse and emotional abuse. And how someone can recognize these within a relationship.nnn Dr. Jeanne King: Verbal abuse is the use of derogatory language and/or tone toward another person. Emotional abu

Most of us are pretty well acquainted with the inner critic, the one who says (to me), “Your writing stinks. You’re not good enough. You’re not a loving person. You don’t have enough friends.” That inner critic voice is usually installed early in life and can ...

Lack of emotional safety is the number one indicator of a potentially dangerous relationship. It may seem subtle, yet it is ever so significant with respect to your well-being.nnWhen you have emotional safety, it’s palatable. You can feel it in every fiber of your being. When it’s missing, you may feel its loss. Or, you may simply know of it not being there by the presence of these five glaring signs.nn 1) Not honoring your privacy. nIf something is in a drawer, it’s in

When I read spiritual guidebooks, mostly based on Buddhism, the same objections arise in me every time. They ask us to “move beyond personal story” and to let go of old hurts. Well, I sure want to wriggle free of the stickiness of the old stuff, but I have to work a lot with it ...

God is serious about relationships. It is vital for us to qualify people to be in relationship with us. As far back as I can remember when ever things went really bad in my life it was always when I allowed myself to be in relationships without disce ing that person’s purpose in my life. On one particular occasion by the time I quieted myself to assess why things were crazy, money funny and things just falling apart in my life it was traced right back to a relationship that I allowed without asking or disce ing their purpose.

The headlines read: Eight Year-Old Kills Father and a Boarder. Was this tragedy preventable? If it is proven that the known causes of youth violence were there, it was entirely preventable. This is worse than a tragedy and it must be fixed. Experts agree that most youth who become violent share ...

Most people with coronary heart disease have a checkered history with food. They've eaten a few too many pizzas and french fries, perhaps, and not quite enough fruits and vegetables. Maybe you can relate. But if your heart's in trouble, this is no time to regret your past indulgences. Instead, it's time to turn food into an ally. A healthy diet can go a long way toward preventing a heart attack. and it might even help clear your arteries. The healthy diet basics Diets are as individual as people. The foods you choose depend on your personal tastes and goals.

Personal growth and recovery from abuse is a journey. The journey we shall take commences at the point when one’s inner life begins, as a child, but not a living child, an inner-child, locked in time, forever orbiting in the universe within one’s head, and there is likely more than one such personality inside us. Each of these cursed children that is set free, each triumphant release, will advance the sufferer toward his new authentic self; toward a life free of the urgen

Patients afflicted with the Factitious Disorder colloquially known as “Munchausen Syndrome” seek to attract the attention of medical personnel by feigning or by self-inflicting serious illness or injury. “Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome” (Factitious Illness or Disorder by Proxy, or Imposed by Another, or FII – Fabricated or Induced Illness by Carers) involves the patient inducing illness in or causing injury to a dependent (child, old parent) in order to gain, in her capacity as

"We need to do more thn just tell our troubles to God. God already knows. What we do need to learn to do is sit down with God and look for solutions: What actions to take, choices to make, directions to turn. In our conversation with God, we need to hear both the joyful and painful aspects of ...

In order for drugs to affect the brain they must first be put into the body. There are five methods of drug use which allow drugs to enter the body: swallowing, smoking, snorting, through suppositories and injecting. 1. Swallowingr Ingesting or swallowing drugs is the most common method of abuse. The individual takes the substance by mouth. They then pass to the stomach and then into the bloodstream. Of all the methods of drug abuse, taking them by mouth is considered to be

OWNING MY T.E.A You may push my buttons, but I’m responsible for my Thoughts, Emotion & Actions WHAT IS IT? In it’s simplest form: honestly admitting, to ourselves, first of all, what we feel, think & have done - or - not. (Review T.E.A. - Thoughts, Emotions, Actions, pg 54 ) “I cannot tell a lie - I chopped down the apple tree”. Abe Lincoln. And if possible, acknowledge these without judgment, without shame, without guilt. MOST of ALL - without self-hate. BENEFITS:rnⶠit eliminates the need for spinrnⶠit significantly reduces guilt & shamer

It is time to treat the whole person including emotional and subconscious aspects originating domestic violence and move beyond the current theory of behavioral and book solutions. When treating the whole person results are effective and long term, not the usual shallow help. Growing into sanity and having a life of happiness, joy and freedom from domestic violence, when the root causes and conditions of this illness are understood and restored to health is possible.nnThe Ame

A controlling parent can have as much a crippling effect on an adult child as on an intimate partner. And I’m sure you know why.nnBut help for that adult child is touch and go. There are no shelters for them, yet they have many of the same financial issues as battered women.nnIf they haven’t risen above their controlling parent’s domination, they can become entrapped victims for life. They remain dependent and often spend their lives seeking out ways to work out their u

Part One: Causation © Holli Kenleyr

Violence in the family is a major source of teen female violence. The future well-being of a society is directly linked to its ability to care for and educate its young. Families that cannot successfully care for their young, nurture the seeds of future violence and criminality. Until we learn ...

Straight off the top… Addicts for one reason or another, have a problem coping with every day life in our Society! Drugs fill some void in their life, family or personality. A large number of people, who progress to the stage of drug use that is Addiction, are self-medicating! Many Addicts’ ...

Celebrate February as Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month and help young people across the country have safe and healthy relationships. Love has many definitions, but abuse isn't one of them.

ABANDONMENT PAIN IS FROM THE PAST It hurts, but it passes DEFINITION • the DEF for Abandonment (A) is : “Not getting enough of your legitimate childhood needs met, & some needs NOT at all”. This applies to all 4 categories of NEEDS: Mental, Physical, Emotional, Spiritual. (A) is NOT just about someone physically leaving • (A) did not have to be overt or deliberate. Our parents may have been oblivious to the damage they were doing, BUT the result is the samer

For almost every battered woman and abused man I work with, there is a layman’s label attached to the core of their self-perception. This label is typically bestowed upon them by their battering partner or by allies supporting his/her plight to save face and to discredit and silence the abused.nnBut the question is where do these nonprofessional people obtain license to provide these diagnoses? And why do these battered women and men internalize the layman’s psychiatric l

Why are memories of abuse so often hidden? This is a really hard question for people in recovery from abuse, for therapists, and for researchers. In my case, I didn’t recognize one of my early childhood memories as a memory of abuse until I was in my fifties. Then physical memories started to ...

I’M NO GOOD & EVERYONE KNOWS ITrnso I have to be perfect to make up for it Self-Hate is the #1 deterrent to growth for all ACoAs. It undermines our ability to function well, to have self-esteem & to be happy. Some people call it being ‘hard on yourself”, but it’s much more than that. It’s so pervasive in the inner world of many ACoAs, that we don’t even know we have it & if confronted, vehemently deny it. BUT the symptoms are all there, starting with a persistent nagging anxiety. DEF:

Substance abuse is a massive problem in the United States and a few other countries. The United States has more than 23 million people who are addicted to drugs, alcohol and the like. Drug-related crimes run rampant throughout the United States, as well. U.S. citizens can participate in fighting the war on drugs in many ways. The following are five ways that a person can contribute: Donate to Research and Rehabilitation One way that a person can help to fight the substance ab

“I HATE YOU - DON’T LEAVE ME!” I know I don’t deserve you, but I’m desperate ⶠUn-healed ACoAs have only 2 speeds about most things: Too Much or Too Little, black or white, very high or very low. ‘Gray’ is NOT even thought of, or is seen as a cop-out! ⶠMental Health is about many things, one of which is BALANCE. Living in a healthy middle ground is not only a foreign concept to ACoAs, but IF experienced, even briefly, is considered BORING & undesirable!

When I was 35, I remarried. Soon after that, Rick and I became disillusioned with our jobs. Consequently, we sold everything we owned and set out to see this wonderful country on a motorcycle. We have a beautiful, diverse county. I hope you have time to get out to see it. But, after about 3 ...

Drinking huge amounts of alcohol over long periods can cause many negative effects on your body and mind. Alcohol is present in wine, beer, and liquor. It depresses the CNS (central nervous system) and can affect all the organs in your body, especially the brain and liver. When you start drinking, you can notice the short-term effects of alcohol such as difficulty in walking, thinking and speaking, and these go away when you stop drinking. However, the long-term effects of al

Eight years ago, in a matter of hours, the face of society changed because of what the few did to the many. As we reflect, let us also be mindful of the millions who suffer daily at the hands of those they once trusted. 11 September 2009 Today, we pause to honor the dead and shake our heads. Over three thousand souls perished for reasons we still can’t fathom.

It kind of trails off after the holidays. We would love to keep the issue in the front of everyone and that child abuse happens all year long. Abuse doesn't take a holiday, doesn't take a day off, and we can't either. (Jane Donovan) The it referred to in the quote is child abuse. It was in the news again yesterday in abundance: a father raping his daughter for 9 years with the tacit consent of the mother because a voodoo man told him to do so, a bunch of caretakers raping the

Addiction is cunning, baffling and powerful, and even after my surrender it kept trying to manipulate my mind to make me slip and destroy my recovery.rn rnI am alive today only because of the miracle I experienced one day in treatment. As I entered my room and walked by a mirror, I glimpsed something I had never seen before. I jumped back to take a second look, but it was gone. Gone but not forgotten.rn rnIt was like the movie The Fly, where the man is lost within a monster.

We need to do more than just tell our troubles to God. God already knows. What we do need to learn to do is sit down with God and look for solutions: What actions to take, choices to make, directions to turn. In our conversation with God, we need to hear both the joyful and painful aspects ...

Bullying is growing problem in Canada and the United States. In recent years bullying behavior has spawned needless school violence and adolescent suicides. This article details what the life of a bully is like and how it affects everyone involved. The life of a bully is not what it seems. On the outside, bullies appear dominant, confident, and sometimes even successful. Bullies come from all types of backgrounds and households. In a lot of ways, just about anyone can turn in

Getting in touch with your inner child is a process. There are both terrible and wonderful things that the child needs to tell us about childhood feelings. Much of what the child needs to tell us is buried in the unconscious. We were scolded or told to “forget it!” Our needs and ...

Are there causes of alcoholism other than the constant drinking itself? If you haven't read anything about alcoholism, it is reasonable to assume that you think, just like many other people think, the only cause for alcoholism is the steady drinking over time, thus alcoholics can only blame their own irresponsible behavior for their situation right? When it comes to alcoholism there are many other factors that come into play, such as biology, genetics, culture, and even gende

Addiction can ruin lives, derail dreams and finally, it can even kill. When you are living in the throes of your addiction can seem like there is no way out, and that no one can help you. Long term addiction can change a personality, ruin someone financially, separate you from your family and loved ones, and more. If you're mired down in addiction right now, it might seem like you're passing, or that it's something that you can take care of on your own. However, most people n

Emotional safety is vague when it isn’t there, and it’s ever so palatable when it is. What is being emotionally safe? And how does this serve as an indicator...an internal red flag of a potentially destructive relationship.nn What is emotional safety? nnEmotionally safe is a feeling that your inner most thoughts, feelings and experience are, and will be, honored as one honors themselves. You need not prove, nor impress; you just simply are. When it is present you

An Oscar-nominated documentary called “The Invisible War” tackles the seemingly taboo subject of rape and sexual assault in the military. ABC News covered a quick story of the documentary and featured three women who bravely volunteered their personal stories of being raped while enlisted in the military. But even with the release of such a documentary, these women (and men as well) need more artillery than that to stop such horrific incidents from occurring in the first

People ask me what kind of domestic abuse assessment screen helps someone who is abused to see the light. In providing assessments for thousands of people, I’m convinced that a tool that reveals the subtle communication patterns of abusive relationships helps someone being abused to awaken to their circumstances. Further, identifying these subtle–and often unconscious –interaction patterns helps the abused partner recognize what keeps the abuse dynamic going

MAKE THEM SUFFER ! The same way they made me suffer! This post, of course, is about those of us raised in a variety of abusive, dysfunctional families & communities AS CHILDREN a. Exte al CAUSES - Growing up, our parents & other adults: • blamed us unfairly, for all kinds of things (their problems, other kids’ bad behavior...), attacked & humiliated us, assuming the worst of us... • AND didn’t allow us to defend ourselves, didn’t believe us, never bothered to ask for our side of a situation, weren’t on our side or defended us b. Internal - All children:

Model, Mafia Wife, Mother, and Stunt Driver—has packed a lifetime of lessons into forty-eight years. This is the true story of one of Hollywood’s most successful female commercial stunt drivers. A woman who can dominate a two-ton vehicle at high speeds, but off road has careened from one emotional head-on collision to another. The story, told from a woman's point of view, chronicles the life of a battered woman as she struggles to break the abusive cycle while engineering

I once acted for a woman who had four children, ALL of whom were the victims of extreme Domestic Violence. In fact, by the time she came to see me she had already lost her eldest son to suicide brought about through extreme and repeated abuse inflicted by his father. I will never forget her distress and sorrow or the heart-wrenching plea she made to me as a lawyer. She had the three remaining children with her. With tears streaming down her face she begged me for help saying

Adult NPD Survivors Further Assaulted By Ignoramuses When people hear that I have chosen to have no contact with my highly toxic, aged mother and father they always tell me how sorry they feel for my parents. I can only assume that in me they see a happy, well-adjusted adult woman and must decide that I have chosen to afflict some sort of maliciously intended punishment on my poor defenseless parents. They cannot possibly understand how violated I feel hearing them defend th

How much is too much? There is always a lot of debate about this inside the families of Addicts and Alcoholics. Of course, the Users always defend their selves and claim that they can, "quit anytime I decide that I want to." But, just what is too much? The treatment field gauges this by ...

"Help Your Child Overcome School Stress" Written by Mark Dworkin LCSW www.markdworkin.com After “No Child Left Behind” from the Bush era, the public schools drastically changed. For better or worse, they have changed. Now kids begin routine standardized testing in elementary school nation-wide. This puts a lot of stress on kids today at a very young age, when they are still learning how to cope with stressors.

After a DUI arrest, your whole life feels thrown off course. A single mistake could cost you your career and future, but it doesn’t have to. Although having a DUI on your criminal record (or a criminal record at all, for that matter) could complicate certain things, a DUI arrest is also a learning opportunity.rnWhen you want to move forward after a DUI, here are four steps you can take to start moving in the right direction. Follow Through with Legal Obligations Whatever yo

Verbal abuse, as well as emotional abuse, result in wounds and scars deep within. In the following interview we look at the impact upon the victim and offer recommendations for her surviving and thriving beyond the battering. nnThe following is part two of an interview with Kate Carlson, OTR/L interviewing Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D., leading expert in the subtle communication patterns of battering relationships.nn 1) KATE CARLSON : What would you tell a person who is being verbal

There is a method that any person can use, in any situation, to overcome any addiction immediately. That is a powerful statement - one that you might have a hard time believing. The very idea seems rather ridiculous, doesn’t it? I am not just talking about the more common addictions such as alcohol, drugs and tobacco. I am including in this statement all addictions. These would include addictions to overeating - sex -gambling - any so-called 'vice'. It does not matter what t

I grew up in a very violent and dysfunctional home. I endured many abuses that haunt me to this day! I believed, that when I left home at 15 years old, I was leaving behind the agony, pain and confusion of my family. But there was still so much suffering within me that I had not recognized and reconciled.nn The affects of my abuse began to surface when I was diagnosed with SLE at sixteen. My first thoughts when I was diagnosed with Lupus were, "See, I am nothing, I am nobody,

We hear it all the time: “You’re not responsible for your abuser’s battering behavior.” Yet, victims of domestic abuse spend an inordinate amount of time trying to alter this behavior. Fix it. Change it. Account for it.nnOften, and usually unknowingly, this invites three deadly mistakes victims of domestic abuse make in their abusive relationships.nn 3 deadly mistakes of shouldering the responsibility for battering behavior nn 1) From others: nYou inadvertently tell b

A 12-year old South Carolina boy was shot and killed while trick or treating on October 31. Members of his family were shot and injured. Werner Lippe, a 66-year old jeweler, has confessed to killing his wife and disposing of the body. Four men have been charged with the deadly shooting of ...

There are times in my life where I do not question my decision to be sober. I would say this is about 99% of the time, to be honest. The beauty and decisiveness in my life has become apparent due to the decisions I have made. Overall, I am absolutely in agreement with my heart and ...

Guilt is not a primary emotion, like anger, joy, sadness... But it is one of the most intense & often-felt emotions by ACoAs. It is a familiar companion of negative self-talk & to actions we believe to be bad, but may not be. Guilt is connected to self-hate: since our default position is that we’re intrinsically bad, anything & everything that goes wrong for us is OUR FAULT. This leads to perfectionism - the obsession about being soooo good, without flaws - that we’ll finally be loved, accepted, understood... BY WHOM? Of course - our family --- & then everyone else in the whole world !

Married women on their way out of an abusive relationship are frequently found navigating the system en route to safety. But is their path safe?nnNot necessarily so. We frequently see women struggling in relation to their legal counsel just as they struggled in their battering relationship. And they feel worn down, confused, taken advantage of... nnWhat often happens is these women engage in their relationship with their legal representation just as they engaged in relation t

The memory is in the muscle. We hear people vividly taste remnants of the feelings surrounding old trauma when faced with a trigger of the context in which that original trauma was experienced. It’s truly as though the memory is in the muscle.nnWe know this phenomenon to be characteristic of post-traumatic stress. What’s unclear for many is how the emotional memory remains dormant in the psyche and in the tissue over months, years and decades.nnIt is as though all of the

Getting in touch with the inner child is a process. There are both terrible and wonderful things that the child needs to tell us about childhood feelings. Much of what the child needs to tell us is buried in the unconscious. We were scolded or told to “forget it!” Our needs and hurts were ...

BULLYINGrnBullying meaning Bullying means a behaviour which someone uses to hurt another both physically and mentally. Bullying at its basic form is when someone is picked on by a person or group called bullies, because of one being different. This behaviour happens when there is real or perceived power over another.rnThis arrogant behaviour when repeated will have a long-lasting physiological impact on both persons. Bully is defined as those who abuse, make fun of, aggressiv

Intimate partner violence is best avoided by understanding emotional verbal abuse and the warning signs of an abusive relationship. In an effort to help educate people and increase awareness of verbal abuse, Kate Carlson, OTR/L interviews Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.nnKate Carlson: Throughout the progressive stages of verbal abuse, is there a typical pattern you have observed through your years of experience? If so, what are the typical patterns a batterer uses and/or does there se

I would also like to share this story with you. Whilst emailing talk shows I sent an email to a particular lady host. It was strange as it took me some time to find her email address, but something told me to keep looking. Once found I emailed her. Within ten minutes I received an urgent reply, and the response was something I could never have hoped or dreamed of. It seems that her son had tried to kill himself the previous week. After a few emails back and forth I rang her o

For several years, the VA has been under fire for repeated instances of negligence. Reports released by CBS in 2013 revealed that medical professionals associated with the VA prescribed 259% more narcotics than in 2002, and that individualized therapy had fallen by the wayside. An affiliate of the VA explained anonymously in a TV interview how prescribing narcotics made it easier to “move along and get to the next patient” in a more timely fashion than taking the time to

When is the best time to grab a victim out of an abusive relationship? There are two points of intervention. That is, there are two times when she/he is MOST amenable to leaving the abusive relationship. nn What are these times? nn1) Before she/he settles into the relationship and becomes part of the dynamic, andn2) Immediately after an altercation, whether verbal or physical. nnThe first is obvious. It’s always easier to end something before it begins, right? That’s why

They say victims of domestic abuse come in all shapes and sizes, yet have some very distinct commonalities characteristic of being in an abusive relationship.nnAbusive spouses, on the other hand, come in two very distinct breeds. What are they?nn Two Kinds of Batterers: nnThere are those that bully in a crude and sloppy way, and those that bully in a slick and contrived way. nnThe more crude bully displays intermittent explosive behavior from his/her narcissistic vantage poin

Verbal abuse in marriage makes for a toxic home. You feel it in the air, smell it in your living space, see its brutal impact on yourself as well as on little ones dependent upon you.nnYou know this from the core of your being, yet when victimized by verbal abuse in marriage, there is a tendency to sweep the big elephant under the carpet, and hope and pray you won’t trip over him.nnHere are three deadly mistakes one can make by hiding from verbal abuse in your marriage.nn 1

Domestic abuse victims heal and transform themselves at different rates. You can tell when their recovery process remains in progress, yet to be completed. And if you are a domestic violence survivor, you know when you’re still wearing that “I’m a Victim” hat.nnHere are some tell-tale signs that you are still fulfilling the role of victimization. If you catch yourself...nn1) Looking for free lunchnn2) Seeking to please other people for approvalnn3) Believing your acti

People who seem overconfident or too interested in themselves are often called narcissistic. Narcissism is a thought and behaviour pattern that involves many negative elements including: • Overconfidencern• Fascination with the selfrn• Excess self-lovern• Vanityrn• Self-absorptionrn• Self-centerednessrn• Smugnessrn• Egocentrism While narcissism is a serious mental problem in adults, it is completely normal in children and is actually a necessary part of childh

Humans grow at a substantial rate from birth to adulthood. With growing comes growing pains. We all remember the pain that our joints, muscles, brains, and emotions caused us as teenagers. But did you know that if you excessively use drugs and/or alcohol as a teenager, you stop maturing? Drugs can hinder the functioning of a person’s brain, especially in areas such as thinking and reasoning skills. For example, someone who has never experimented with drugs might learn from