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ARTArticleHow to Teach Your Newbo the Difference betwee Day and NightResearch has shown that a young baby can start to distinguish between night and day from as young as two weeks with a little gentle guidance. Here are six simple strategies that work. 1 – In the day, keep the house light and bright. Take your baby out for walks in the fresh air. Even if he’s sleeping, he will be stimulated by the light and feel of the air against his skin. 2 – When your baby is awake (for a very short time in the early weeks) interact with him, talk to him, stroke his skin and place your face near his so he can see you.ARTArticleHow to Win a Woman’s Heart with Your TalkTalking to a beautiful woman can leave many men dumbstruck and speechless. It is true when they say that when a person talks, they create the first impression about them. To get a relationship going steady, one of the most vital aspects is the right way of striking up a conversation, which can be pretty tense. It could be quite a difficult task to impress someone on a date and win her heart. Here are a few tips that could be helpful in breaking the ice when you’re out on a date. Smile and Maintain Eye Contact ARTArticleHurt Feelings vs. Hurt HeartClifford, 42, married with children, told me during a phone session that he was tired of not feeling happy and joyous. "As a small child, I remember being so happy and excited about life. But my parents didn't receive me at all. They were indifferent to my creativity and excitement." "Clifford, how did you feel when they didn't receive you?" "Shattered."ARTArticleJoe’s Top 10 “New” Years Parenting ThoughtsJoe’s Top 10 “New” Years Parenting Thoughts by Joe Gandolfo, M.A., LPC Another New Year. A time for personal renewal and making a change. Most people make a sincere effort to alter a behavior, which when changed, will improve one’s life. Sadly for many, the behavior change lasts only a few weeks at best. Why is this so? It is very difficult to maintain a behavioral change if underlying thoughts and beliefs are not changed as well. Beliefs lead to thoughts, and thoughts lead to behavior.ARTArticleLearning to Forgive: Is It The Key in Marriage?Learning to Forgive: Is It The Key to Marriage? Yes, Learning to forgive is one of the keys to a long, happy marriage.ARTArticleLessons From a Cat: Play, Persistence, Relaxation and BoundariesI’d like to introduce you to a friend of mine: Jzumbula Kittae la Kunta. I call her “Kunta” and she’s a cat. Cats are interesting creatures and Kunta has taught me a number of lessons I wanted to pass on to you. Nine of them, in fact…fitting since cats allegedly have 9 lives. I think Kunta had closer to 49 lives. Lesson #1: Ask for what you want. Kunta showed up outside my front window about 15 years ago. She looked in and meowed several times.ARTArticleLet Them Play!On Friday my son's playschool director shared an article with me. I found it very interesting especially since I have the same quote from Albert Einstein on my website "Imagination is more important than knowledge. For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understand, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create." So many parents ask me or others "can your child read yet", "how far can your child count", "does your child know all their letters, numbers, colors, and so on and so on and so on". I am a Mommy to four children ages 4-15.ARTArticleMarriage Communication Skills - Are Yours Up to Par?Did you know your marriage communication skills (or lack thereof) could make or break your marriage? Millions of couples divorce each year and for many of them communication problems are what ultimately made the relationship fall apart.ARTArticleMarriage IssuesAre you tired of the same old marriage issues? Do you have the marriage blues? Then quit! Are we suggesting you get a divorce? No, when we say quit, we are not suggesting you get a divorce. As far as the turbulence you're experiencing in your marriage, there isn't a couple on earth who hasn't experienced marriage issues, it's a normal part of married life. But sometimes when we experience problems in marriage, we tend to look outward rather than inward. That is, we see our spouses as the source of our unhappiness.ARTArticleMarry Your Self First: Addiction, Depression, Divorce....I had a client say something very interesting to me last week…she suggested that because I was a mental health counselor, I, therefore, have minimal issues or challenges in my life. Ha!ARTArticleMarry YourSelf First: The 13 Most Important Questions for Your Best LifeHere’s something everyone can relate to: Your Car. That wonderful and amazing piece of technology that takes you from one place to another… usually without any difficulty. And what is one big element the car relies on to get you there? The tires…those round rubber donuts which “usually” create no problems. Let’s talk about your tires…stick with me here… it’ll all start to make sense…I promise!ARTArticleMeaningful Consequences for TeensDo your teen’s actions cause you more problems than they do your teen? Has your teen figured out that he can say or do whatever he wants, which causes you and others a lot of grief, while you spend all your time trying to figure out how to solve the riddle of why he behaves the way he does, without a care in the world to the problems his behavior creates? Whenever I see a teen who is irresponsible and happy to be so, he probably has parents who are probably very responsible and also quite miserable.ARTArticleNaughty or nice, presence or presents?Here’s an email I got recently: “I wanted to thank you also for your story about "presence" that you told at your talk recently at Open Secret Book Store in San Rafael. I had an important experience of that this weekend. I have been contemplating dating a man I met recently who is a financially successful lobbyist, and we have many other interests aside from politics.ARTArticlePicky Eaters: Normal or PathologicalHow do you know if your picky eater is just exhibiting normal picky behavior or ifrnyou need professional assistance? The toddler period presents huge changes in development in many areas. Feeding in particular presents several challenges for parents. The once eager eater who opened his mouth for everything you presented on the spoon is now much more likely to reject foods and have a hard time sitting still for meals. Toddlers do not grow at the same rapid pace that infants grow and their food intake drops off significantly. Toddlers by definition are often on the move.ARTArticlePro Life? How about Pro Dad?First, this is a rant, not a blog. I hope you will indulge me anyway. Having been a single mom for over ten years, I know so many of you can, do and will relate. And I must warn you, it’s rated R. According to Maria Sudekum Fisher, with the ASSOCIATED PRESS: Scott Roeder had confessed publicly before the trial and admitted again on the witness stand that he shot Tiller in the head in the foyer of the Wichita church where the doctor was serving as an usher.ARTArticleRelationships Without Negativity?What if you allowed no negativity into your relationship? My husband and I recently heard the creator of Imago Relationship Therapy, Harville Hendrix, speak at a professional conference. In his speech he equated any negativity in relationship to verbal or psychological abuse and recommended that couples refrain from any form of negativity with each other. Negativity as he describes it includes any expression of anger toward your significant other. He believes that most anger comes from a deep and unrealistic sense of entitlement.ARTArticleRelease Those Judgmental ThoughtsCan you think of a colleague, co-worker or acquaintance who really annoys you, but is probably a pretty agreeable person unde eath their irritating qualities? Stated another way, are there people who make you bristle because of a certain aspect of their personality, but if you consider them with an open heart, you could find quite a few redeeming qualities? I can say yes to both of these questions, so I assume that you can, too. Psychologists tell us that the qualities in others that most irritate us are the qualities that we fear in ourselves.ARTArticleResolving the Question of Whether or Not to Have ChildrenFor some couples, the decision to have children is something that was discussed long before marriage---in some cases; I am told, on the first or second date ! But for many couples, deciding whether or not to have children can be one of their most daunting issues. With couples getting married later and women much more likely to have career dilemmas, the choice of whether or not to have children is often more urgent, since there’s so often a smaller window of time when women can safely conceive.ARTArticleRetirement Planning for the PsycheMany times throughout the years, I have observed anecdotally that people have a higher risk of mortality shortly after retirement. And there’s even some empirical evidence of this. For example, in a study of past employees of Shell Oil, the mortality rate was significantly higher for subjects in the first 10 years after retirement at age 55 compared with those who didn’t retire until later (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1273451/).ARTArticleSetting yourself up—to succeed in the New Year!Can you remember what your New Year’s resolutions were last year? How did that work out for you? Let’s see, mine were: to be less judgmental, and to slow down and take myself less seriously. No easy task for the hyper-vigilant monster that dwells deep in (and, unfortunately, outside) my subconscious. In the hopes of luring and capturing this beast of burden, I did what I do every year. I ritually wrote, and spoke aloud my resolve to slay whatever dragons that seemed to genuinely threaten my overall peace of mind and freedom of being.ARTArticleSeven Characteristics of an Authentic LeaderBeing an authentic leader is a cornerstone of building a spiritually intelligent workplace. To be authentic is to be real, to be genuine. If we consider that the opposite of authentic is phony or fake, then most people would vote for authenticity. It's like a counterfeit coin, which doesn't buy us anything once it is discovered, whereas an authentic coin is highly valuable. Personal authenticity breeds trust, commitment and loyalty in a work group.ARTArticleSix Tips for Increasing Sexual Intimacy in Your MarriageCouples who have been together for a while often experience a decline in their sexual relationship. Whereas early on they felt lots of passion and lust, with time their sex life can become mundane or even non-existent. Yet it doesn’t need to be that way. If you really would like to experience renewed passion and intimacy in your relationship, here are some things you can do that can make a big difference.ARTArticleSix Ways to Stop Your Baby Waking EarlyEarly waking for a little one under the age of two is common and parents find it the most difficult sleep issue to resolve. Here are six suggestions to improve things quickly. 1 - Decide on the time you’re happy to get up and start the day as a family. 6am isn’t much fun but that is a realistic time for infants and toddlers. If your baby wakes before 6am, treat it as a night time waking, even if it’s 5:30am.ARTArticleSoothing Children Without Using Food: 10 StrategiesAs parents we need to be mindful of not only what foods we choose to offer our children, but also of what patterns and associations between food and emotion we are establishing. Patterns set in childhood can be carried forward into adulthood and possibly lead to problems with weight management or disordered eating. When our children are upset, it is natural for us to want to soothe them. Often, by habit and by memory our own childhood experiences, we may be tempted to soothe with food. Don’t get me wrong, soothing with food is not always a bad thing.ARTArticleSurviving Family Drama during the HolidaysEmily stood in the rain intently staring at the travel poster outside the travel agency. Stunning sandy beaches, sun streaming onto golden beach goers, calm water just as blue as a sapphire. But the photo told only half the story; the headline told the rest: “Forget the Family Drama & Escape to Barbados for the Holidays!” Memories of last year’s holiday brought a sting of realization that she still wasn’t talking to her sister after a big fight. There would be questions and accusations as always – and she would be the bad guy. Again.ARTArticleSustainable relationshipsIf you have had a few relationships you know what I mean by “sustainability,” especially ones that have been a source of pain or suffering to some degree. (Some of which have compelled you to dispose of them by almost any means, organic or not.) But what of the ones you wish to keep, nurture and grow rather than watch die prematurely or unexpectedly?ARTArticleTake Nothing PersonallyThe scene: a hip and fashionable downtown restaurant. A high-ranking manager of a technology company and several of his team members are enjoying lunch together to celebrate the team's recent achievement. As the conversation veers off onto casual topics, one of the employees excitedly explains about a new start-up company to which her cousin was named president, ending with, "Wouldn't you just love to be in her shoes?" The boss turns to her and says, "You wouldn't love that - you'd hate it.ARTArticleTen Ways to Turn Around Your TeenThinking that anything a parent can say, do, or offer to their children as they grow up a will guarantee a smooth and trouble-free adolescence is just plain wrong. I’ve learned that there are no such guarantees in life. Stuff happens in the teen years that is out of our control as parents, even if we do everything right. Raising one angelic teenager can lead us to think that we have found the right formula, right up until we see our next child go down a completely different path.ARTArticleThe Best Mental Health Counseling: Seven Steps to Stress-less Success1) Create a life vision and visit it daily What I mean by a life vision is this: Where are you going? Where are you going in life? And what are you doing all this for? What’s the target? Many people don’t have this target or vision in their lives. They’re just in motion. They don’t really know where they’re going. That’s not necessarily the worst thing in the world, but oftentimes what happens to people who don’t have a destination or a target, is that they burn out. They don’t have any purpose for doing what they’re doing.ARTArticleThe Biological Reality: There ARE Psychological Differences betwee Men and WomenMen and women think differently - I don’t think anyone will argue that point with me at all! In my work as a therapist, I see males and females totally disillusioned with the selection of mates of the opposite sex to choose from. I think that the problem is largely due to a misunderstanding of how males and females differ on the biological level, and how that difference affects everything from communication style to thought processes, and perceptions of reality. But what influences that thinking and what “biological reality” differences do males and females really have?

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