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ARTArticleMake New Friends, Keep Good FriendsResearch conducted by Dr. Dean Ornish and others shows that the happiest and healthiest people are those who are well-connected to friends and family. But, in our mobile society, keeping friends is not always possible. Long-term friendships are wonderful and valuable, but if you dont make new connections as you get older, your group of friends may diminish due to death and relocation. If you havent made new friends in a while, updating your definition of friendship and increasing your skills at meeting people will be worth your while.ARTArticleMerry Christmas from Dr. Romance!Dr. Romance wishes you Happy Holidays with a song lyric.ARTArticleMerry Christmas from Dr. Romance!Dr. Romance wishes you Happy Holidays with a song lyric.ARTArticleMirrors and TeachersThere are people I love who are easy to be around, and others I love who are more difficult for me.ARTArticleMotivation and How to Create It (Good Boss/Bad Boss)Many of my clients have come in complaining of a lack of motivation; from not being motivated enough on the job, to not being able to diet, quit smoking, or get out of bed in the morning. They desire to achieve both positive and negative motivationspositive motivations and being motivations toward doing something; negative motiviations being toward NOT doing something (not smoking, for example).ARTArticleNarcissistic, Needy or Normal? What is really going on with my teen's behaviour?Teens by definition are narcissistic. They are at a time in their life where narcissistic behaviour is both natural and can be healthy. Unless of course you are seeing amoral or criminal behaviour on an ongoing basis.ARTArticleNew Book: Decisions After Forty: Reinventing the Rest of Your LifeDr.Romance is happy to announce my newest ebook, The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make after Forty: Reinventing the Rest of Your Life.ARTArticleO M G-SpotOh My G-Spot! What is the G-Spot? Do you know? Do you know where it is? Now days it seems if you are not a G-Spot expert you are just not the love you think you are. Funny thing many women don’t know either. They are pretty sure they have one and they have been told that G-Spot orgasms are mind blowing. And, Boy Oh Boy, do they want one!ARTArticleOne Myth about Affairs that Only Makes Your Broken Heart Pain WorseIf your partner had an affair, you might be trying to figure out how this happened. Whether you are still in this relationship or not, your heart might feel broken into a million pieces. Unfortunately, some of the beliefs that you may hold about infidelity could be making your broken heart pain worse than it already is. There are many misconceptions about why people cheat.ARTArticleOvercoming JealousyJealousy… is a mental cancer. ~B.C. Forbes Jealousy will make you crazy. When you are in its grip the feeling is almost unbearable. It can make you physically sick and unable to focus on anything else. Jealousy will compel you to do things and say things you will later regret and you can never take back. Jealousy can single-handily destroy a good relationship.ARTArticleParenting With Ease: The Lost Art Of Listeningby Susan A. Haid One of the best things we can do as parents is simply listen, with an open mind and an open heart, to our children. We represent the safe space, so to speak, where our kids can say exactly what they’re thinking and feeling without judgment. This is a very, very important role we play and not to be underestimated in it’s influence on our child’s development. As parents, we often feel the need to guide or control our children, and although this role has its place, sometimes the very best thing we can do is listen, just listen.ARTArticlePatterns of ChangeI've been dealing with a lot of unwanted changes, and it's not easy. Losses, disappointments, changeswe all struggle when life doesn't go our way. Why is it so hard to handle change? Then there are the changes we want to make, fight hard to makelosing weight, giving up smoking, being more organized. Why is it so hard to create change?ARTArticlePracticing A New Approach To Love, Relationships & DatingI've been on a quest for over a month now. I’ve been purposely carrying several big bags with me each day. Delightfully, men were leaping and reaching for doors, holding doors and offering to help me with my multiple bags! They were all so nice, attentive and helpful! I practiced my Leaning Back tools and graciously thanked each and every one with eye contact, a smile and a genuine "thank you" as I hustled and bustled my way through with loads of bags on both arms.ARTArticlePracticing PatienceHappy New Year! This is the traditional time for making resolutions, which we all know are simple to make, but much more difficult to keep. Resolutions imply change, and making changes requires patience. It's such a valuable component of character that St. Paul considered it evidence that a person was living in faith: "...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control," he wrote to the Galatians.ARTArticleProblem Solving for CouplesIn a previous article "From Struggling to Solving" I discussed how to get from arguing to solving problems. Getting into the right frame of mind is a great start, but many of my clients also need steps for how to solve problems. Here are three of my most effective tips. How to Have a State of the Union Meeting:ARTArticlePsychological Ways To Make My Ex Girlfriend Fall In Love With You AgainPsychological Ways To Make My Ex Girlfriend Fall In Love With Me Again, Tips and Tricks To Get Her Back. Dating advice on how to get the attention of an ex girlfriend. How Can I Make My Ex Girlfriend Fall Back in Love With Me. Tips to make your ex girlfriend love you again and Expert advice to get your ex girlfriend back in your life.ARTArticleRelating With LoveWhy do relationship counselors, speakers and authors say repeatedly that your relationship depends on how well you communicate with each other? Because marriage is a partnership and to create teamwork, you need to keep each other informed, and keep yourself aware of your partner’s ideas, wants and reactions. We all know a lot these days about the techniques of communication, but I find that many of my clients don’t understand the necessary attitudes to create domestic happiness. The following guidelines are adapted from my two newest books, coming out in 2008. The Sweetness Factorr ARTArticleRelationship Advice: Handling conflicts in your relationshipAnother media inquiry regarding handling conflicts: I’m not a yeller. I never have been. When my sister and I had knock-down fights as kids, she screamed and I talked or cried (or both). Actually, that’s how our fights play out these days. I also never yelled when arguing with my parents, and the one and only time I got in a bit of a “tiff” with a colleague, she yelled and I, well, spoke. I’m the same way with dates. Recently, I had my first-ever argument with a non-yeller. It was weird — very weird. And I almost laughed in the middle because it didn’t feel like a fight.ARTArticleRelationship Advice: When your spouse makes a drastic life changeHello I am just now getting back to my blog. I wanted to begin by posting a media inquiry that I responded to recently on the challenges when your spouse makes a drastic life change. See below: For an article I’m writing for CNN.com, I’m seeking both nationally known relationship experts as well as “real” people to talk about this topic: when the person you married or fell in love with makes a drastic life change. Perhaps she used to love burgers, but then became a strict vegan and now pushes tofu down your throat.ARTArticleRelationship FitnessJust as muscles atrophy, or shrink and weaken, with lack of use relationships atrophy when the actions required to keep them strong are neglected. Most people understand that if you want to keep your body fit and healthy then you have to exercise fairly consistently. We do not gain strength or endurance by occasionally attempting to run a marathon. Likewise our relationship will not remain healthy and strong if we occasionally make heroic efforts. If the daily courtesies are neglected the efforts to wow or impress on special occasions will not have the desired impact.ARTArticleRelationships: Tips to Help Overcome your Negative Reaction to your SpouseEXERCISE: MIRRORS AND TEACHERS 1. List problem people: Make a list of people with whom you have had problems in the recent past. You can use the list from the exercise for reviewing your family map in the last chapter, choose the family members who are still presenting problems, and add to it other people who are difficult, but aren’t related. 2. Choose a mirror:ARTArticleResolving Inner AnarchyRecent events have me thinking about political anarchyriots, bombings, civil wars, threats, and other bad and dangerous behavior around the world. Politically, anarchy means obeying no laws. It's frightening to watch a mob take over. Anarchy is the result of two things: repression and neglect. When people are economically and politically repressed, they become frustrated. When they are also ignored and neglected, negative forces are free to take over. This is how gangs and terrorist organizations take hold.ARTArticleResponse-AbilityOne of the trends I dislike in our culture is the reluctance of people to take responsibility, or to respond with care to each other. In my counseling practice, I hear a lot of self-justification, mind-reading, defensiveness, blaming and complaining; which is why relationships, friendships, business connections and day-to-day living are not going well for that client. Their lives are not about trying to understand their own role in the problem, so they can deal with it effectively, but to push the responsibility off onto someone else, and avoid it.ARTArticleRomance is Not Necessarily LoveIn romantic depictions of love, cute little images of cherubs and cupids abound. But Cupid, in his real inca ation, is not so sweet and cuddly. His arrows can create deep and lasting wounds, and can strike you blind and irrational in a heartbeat. A few disaster-filled run-ins with Cupid's dart and you can readily believe that love will never work for you.ARTArticleRomance is Not Necessarily LoveIn romantic depictions of love, cute little images of cherubs and cupids abound. But Cupid, in his real inca ation, is not so sweet and cuddly. His arrows can create deep and lasting wounds, and can strike you blind and irrational in a heartbeat. A few disaster-filled run-ins with Cupid's dart and you can readily believe that love will never work for you.ARTArticleSelf-Control: Who’s in Charge Here?Want to be powerful in your relationships? Learn emotional self-control. Learning to take charge of your emotions means you can't be "set off" by someone else. You control your reactions, they don't control you. When you're too reactive to your partner, he or she can easily draw you into a fight that stops you both from focusing on fixing the problem.ARTArticleSetting Boundaries and Saying NoKnowing how to set appropriate boundaries can make the difference in whether or not your relationship succeeds. The topic frequently comes up in my counseling office, and most people think boundaries are set by telling other people what the limits are. But boundaries are really something you must create within yourself. Having the confidence to say “no” to another is one important aspect of creating boundaries; but it begins by knowing what you do and don’t want. The Tennis Match -- Setting Boundaries and Taking Space ARTArticleShould I Marry Him: How Long Should You Wait For A Commitment?I recently received this question that I believe a lot of women can relate to. 'Should I Marry Him' wrote: I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we live together. I’m 36 and he’s 38. He’s told me many times that he wants to marry me but he needs more time before he settles down for good. I really want to have children and I’m afraid to wait any longer. He says he wants children too but he’s just not ready. He’s a good man so I don’t know if I should wait to marry him or not. How can I get him to marry me? My Answer: Dear 'Should I Marry Him,'ARTArticleSolving Problems Takes EqualsThere is a pervasive myth that somehow happy couples just agree on everything automatically all the time. Believing this myth, we enter relationships convinced that whatever problems or differences we have with our partners will be easy to solve. But, in reality, the individuals who make up a partnership will disagree frequently, and often struggle over even minor issues.ARTArticleSpeaking From Your Feminine PowerTalking sweet is about finding your "sugar" even if you're not happy and want to discuss a problem with your man. This is about speaking your power and speaking from your feminine. Using words describing your feelings in order to say what does not feel good to your man is how you talk sweet. The power in this is to express what doesn’t feel good while still keeping the connection between you and your man undisturbed (i.e., not pushing him away or leaning forward).

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