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ARTArticleChanging Undesirable Behavior In Our KidsBack in my undergraduate years I took a required course for all psychology majors entitled Experimental Psychology. Early in that course in a lab we were each instructed to train a white rat to turn right in a T-maze. (A successful trial was defined as the rat not going past a line on the left side of the maze and the rat had to proceed all the way to the right within five seconds—to eat a small piece of compressed grain.) When the rat made five consecutive “correct” responses, it was determined that the rat had “learned” the appropriate response.ARTArticleChicks are Crazy! Yes, I am calling us out!Wanna know what the Eight Wonder of the World is? Well it’s not Facebook nor is it the IPhone. (Though my assistant would beg to differ) The Eighth Wonder of the World is a woman. Yes, I am calling us out!
We women keep changing the rules in the middle of the game. We make it virtually impossible for a man to be successful in a relationship. More often than not, we don’t even know what it is that we want or need. To further complicate matters, we can’t, won’t or refuse to articulate our needs to our man. This further isolates us from what it is that we so desperately crave.ARTArticleChristian Boundaries - 10 Truths About Boundaries In RelationshipsChristian boundaries are a source of confusion for many Christians, especially when they are in difficult relationships. We wonder what a boundary is. We wonder if we have the right to set boundaries. We wonder what our boundaries should be. We wonder if we should adjust our limits when people refuse to respect the boundaries we have. We wonder what other people would do in a similar situation. We wonder why we need boundaries. We wonder if our boundaries will be challenged. We wonder what kind of boundaries God would want us to have.ARTArticleChristian Boundaries - 7 Reasons Why Setting Boundaries Is Difficult for ChristiansHaving good Christian boundaries is something we need to work on all the time in every area of our lives, yet setting boundaries isn't easy and is a cause of confusion in our relationships. These are the seven reasons why it is difficult for many Christians to set boundaries:
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We feel responsible for other people's choices.
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We are afraid of losing the other person's approval.
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We are afraid of losing the relationship.ARTArticleChristian Boundaries: Five Guidelines to Set Scriptural Boundaries in Difficult RelationshipsDo you struggle with setting Christian boundaries? Difficult relationships require you to set boundaries, yet the complicated relationship dynamics make setting boundaries hard to do. To make it worse, there are common misunderstandings about what the Bible says about boundaries that cause us to be too passive and willing to tolerate unacceptable things. You can use these five guidelines to help you set scriptural boundaries in your difficult relationships.
1. Boundaries should help you take care of yourself.ARTArticleChristian Codependency - How to Detach and Still Stay Engaged in the RelationshipThis article addresses Christian codependency by showing you how to detach and still stay engaged in the relationship. Detachment is the opposite of being attached or enmeshed. It is similar to differentiation or individuation where it is implied that you have a separateness that allows you to be who you are in the midst of a relationship. It is the opposite of Christian codependency where you are so dependent on another that you are unable to feel, be, choose, think and act independently to live your own life and feel overly responsible for others' choices.ARTArticleChristian Codependency: 10 Things Codependents Must Do to ChangeThere are 10 things Christian codependents must do to change the patterns that keep them reacting codependently in life and relationships. If you are a codependent, you live your life focusing on other people. In order to change, you must take the focus off others and put the focus onto your own life by doing the following 10 things:ARTArticleChristian Codependency: 7 Signs You Are A Christian CodependentAre you struggling with Christian codependency? These 7 signs will help you to decide whether you are a Christian codependent or not. When we are being "codependent" it means we have an unhealthy way of reacting to a problem in a person close to us or a pattern of coping with life that is unhealthy.ARTArticleChristian Codependency: Are You a Mary or Martha in Your Relationships?Are you struggling with Christian codependency? Answering these questions will help you determine whether you are a Mary or Martha in your relationships. In Luke 10:38-42, Jesus and his disciples were guests in the home of two sisters, Mary and Martha. Mary sat at Jesus' feet enjoying his company while Martha worked to make all the preparations to take care of the guests. When Martha complained, Jesus responded by saying, "You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her" (verses 41-42, NIV).ARTArticleChristian Codependency: Helping Those That Won't Help ThemselvesThere are many facets to Christian codependency. One of them is that there are some people who refuse to help themselves. Martyrs suffer because they get a payoff: They feed an image that says, "I don't deserve anything better, so I'll continue to endure this." Along with the martyr stroking his or her self-esteem for being so willing to suffer, comes the abrogation of responsibility, which says, "I don't have any choice." Other people aren't willing to make an effort to help themselves out of laziness and irresponsibility. So how do you help those who won't help themselves?ARTArticleChristian Relationship Help - 5 Common Fears In Difficult RelationshipsThis Christian relationship help will enable you to understand the five common fears people have in difficult relationships. Whether it is due to someone's addiction, irresponsibility, personality, mental illness, or abuse, life has uncertainty and complications. Here are the five common fears:
1. Fear of the Person's Reaction
Difficult people are reactive. They are punitive, manipulative, angry, moody, and unpredictable. There is typically a price to pay when you attempt to set a boundary, confront an issue, expect cooperation, or ask for something to done.ARTArticleChristian Relationship Help - 5 Steps For Overcoming Fears In RelationshipsThis Christian relationship help offers five steps to overcome fear by enabling you to face your fears and deal with them rather than propagate or avoid them. Relationships stir up many fears in us, especially when people are doing things that we disagree with.ARTArticleChristian Relationship Help - Accept The Things You Cannot Change And Make Choices With The OptionsThis Christian relationship help will enable you to accept the things you cannot change and make choices with the options you have. The key to surrender is accepting the facts of the situation.ARTArticleChristian Relationship Help - Fight, Flight, Or Freeze Responses To Fear In Difficult RelationshipsThis Christian relationship help will enable you to identify these three responses to fear in difficult relationships: fight, flight, or freeze. Each results in different problems in the relationship.
1. FightARTArticleChristian Relationship Help - How To Face Your Fears In Difficult RelationshipsHow can you face your fears in difficult relationships? By answering the questions offered in this Christian relationship help. It isn't unusual to have many fears in difficult relationships. When people are doing things that we find upsetting and are not making responsible choices, things can and do go wrong. The biggest problem that arises from the fear is that it can keep you stuck and unable to make good decisions.ARTArticleChristian Relationship Help - Speaking The Truth Even When Others DisagreeAre you looking for Christian relationship help because you struggle with speaking the truth in your relationships? Then, this biblical truth and tip will help you. It is especially problematic to communicate your perceptions, feelings, choices, needs, and beliefs to difficult people. One of the misconceptions we have is thinking that we have to get the other person to agree with our truth. This keeps us in a place where we are stuck and unable to move on when the person doesn't agree with us. We react by arguing, nagging, threatening, lecturing, and re-explaining.ARTArticleChristian Relationship Help - What Would Jesus Do In Your Difficult Relationship?Are you looking for Christian relationship help? Do you wonder what Jesus would do in your difficult relationship? There is a good chance that you have some misconceptions about what Jesus would do. Many Christians have a picture of Jesus as a passive weakling who allowed himself to be abused and mistreated at the whim of sinful men, laying dow
His rights, and not standing up to evil. This is far from the truth. Look at these truths about Jesus' interactions in the relationships He had while on Earth:ARTArticleChristian Relationship Help: 5 Questions to Find Out If You Are In A Difficult RelationshipAre you looking for Christian relationship help to determine whether or not you are in a difficult relationship?
Answer the following five questions to find out if your relationship with your child, parent, spouse, sibling, friend, co-worker, or other relative is difficult.
1. Do you spend a considerable amount of time thinking about this relationship and wishing it were different?ARTArticleChristian Relationship Help: How Core Wounds Trigger Overreactions In RelationshipsAre you looking for Christian relationship help that shows you how core wounds trigger overreactions in relationships? Childhood leaves us each with core wounds. These core wounds or core issues resurface repeatedly in relationships. They typically form the basis of overreactions to things that the other person does.ARTArticleChristian Relationship Help: Jesus' Model for How to Deal With Difficult PeopleIf you are looking for Christian relationship help, you are probably dealing with difficult people and wondering how God would want you to respond to them. Jesus dealt with many difficult people. Here are three principles he put into practice:ARTArticleChristian Relationship Help: Six Toxic Christian Relationship BeliefsAre you looking for Christian relationship help? Regardless of the problems you are dealing with, it is important that you identify and change these six toxic Christian relationship beliefs in order to make healthy choices.
1. You believe it is selfish to put yourself before others.ARTArticleChristians and Boundaries: Five Causes of Weak BoundariesChristians need boundaries but often don't have them in their relationships.
Here are five causes of weak boundaries:
1. You were raised in a dysfunctional home where boundaries weren't modeled. As a result, you don't know what healthy boundaries are and don't recognize that you need to have them. You may believe that a wife submits to her husband in everything and isn't entitled to say no. You may believe that a husband loves by tolerating and overlooking everything. You may believe that a parent shows love by saying yes to everything.ARTArticleChristians and Divorce - 5 Tips to Get Your Ex-Spouse Out of Your HeadAre you a Christian going through a divorce? Are you struggling with getting your mind off your spouse? Do you find yourself thinking about your spouse obsessively trying to figure out what he/she is doing and thinking? Do you wonder what your spouse thinks about you? Do you want to make your spouse see your point of view? Do you think more about your spouse than yourself? If you answered yes, it is time to take your focus off your ex and put it onto yourself. These tips will help you do that:ARTArticleChristians And Divorce - Grieve The Loss Of The Good StuffOne of the things Christians need to do when they divorce is to grieve the loss of the marriage. Whether you wanted the marriage to end or not, it wasn't all bad. Your ex-spouse has some good qualities. You have some good memories. You've lost the intact family and even if it wasn't perfect, it was still a family. You may convince yourself that being rid of the problems, pain, and stress has some benefits. But, what do you do with the good stuff? You have to gain a perspective that enables you to find a place for the good stuff that doesn't negate the bad.ARTArticleChristians And Divorce - How To Enjoy Being AloneChristians divorce as much as non-Christians. Regardless of whether or not you wanted your divorce, one of the most difficult things to deal with is being alone. Here are some things you can do to cope better with your "alone time."ARTArticleChristians and Divorce - How to Take Care of Yourself After Your DivorceChristians divorce just as much as non-Christians but often feel as if they have failed God and don't deserve a good future. That is not true. God understands that sin causes broken relationships. He hates divorce, but He loves you. Regardless of what happened in your marriage that led to the divorce, He cares deeply about you now and wants you to be healed and restored.
Divorce requires a huge readjustment in your life. It takes time to re-orient and rebuild. In the process, you have to learn to take care of yourself. Consider these helpful tips:ARTArticleChristians and Divorce - Make Your Life Yours By Changing Your EnvironmentChristians find divorce to be a painful experience even when they wanted the divorce. One of the most painful aspects is letting go of the old life and starting a new life. There are thousands of reminders of your life with your ex. You need to figure out how to make a new life for yourself.
There is one thing you can do that can go a long way toward making your life yours: Change your environment. You may not be able to move to a new house, but there are plenty of other things you can do:ARTArticleChristians and Divorce - The Grief Process Applied to DivorceChristians divorce as much as non-Christians. Divorce is one of the most painful experiences people go through. It is like having gangrene and being told by the doctor that you have to cut off your arm. You don't want to, but you know you have no choice. You do what you have to do and yet the adjustment to living life without your arm will be lengthy and your life will never quite be the same, although you will eventually heal and adjust and accept life without your arm.ARTArticleChristians Surviving Divorce - 6 Things You Need to Know NowIf you are a Christian surviving divorce, here are six things you need to do now. Divorce isn't easy for anyone, but you can make it easier for yourself by doing these six things.ARTArticleCrazy Drivers Make Me MadA Deeper Look at the Control Personality.
Sam and I were having a conversation about why he’s depressed. I said that I knew his dad, Carl, had the same problem. Yeah, he thought his personality was like his dad’s in some ways. Like his dad, he’s angry a lot. (By the way, over time, chronic anger makes depression.)