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ARTArticlePlanning Your Wedding DateWithout a date the rest of your wedding planning can be an impossible task. But choosing a wedding date can be an equally impossible and difficult undertaking. Your choice of date will invariably depend on a number of factors. Wedding Planning Time Setting a date within one month, will not leave much time (if any) to plan a big wedding, in fact it may barely leave you enough time to plan a small one! Your first consideration should be to how much time you think you will need for your wedding planning and to put together the wedding of your dreams.ARTArticlePsychodynamic Psychotherapy: The Crux of Sexual Addiction HealingIn my opinion, long-term psychodynamic therapy is the most efficient way to cultivate healthy personality development. The most comprehensive treatment combines the empathy, insight and relational abilities of a psychodynamic psychotherapist with the 12-step orientation and cognitive-behavioral strategies of an addiction specialist. What IS Psychodynamic Psychotherapy?ARTArticlePsychopharmocology and Sex AddictionSex addiction recovery typically involves at least psychotherapy,twelve-step groups self-help groups and medication. Medication, while not always necessary, can serve as the “water wings” for negotiating the changes necessary for growth. Certain psychiatrists believe that addiction is maintained by mood-dependent motives and that pharmacological treatment of the underlying mood disorder can diminish the urges and cravings associated with the addiction to sex. Medications that enhance mood/feelings regulation also enhance the the ability to control impulses.ARTArticleRebuilding a Sexual RelationshipHi! I’ve been dating this girl for a year now, and she tells me tonight through the phone (long distance relationship) that when I approach her before sex I only approach one way and that’s climbing on top of her. She says I approach her like a horny virgin and I don’t turn her on and she gets frustrated. She doesn’t want to have sex unless she feels like having sex which is not very often. I need to know what I’m doing wrong! I only know one move and after a year I’m only now hearing about this!ARTArticleSaying YES When You Rather Say NO Harms the Relationship. Make a Change and Stop Sabotaging Your IntimacyLearning to say “No” is an important step forward in improving your quality of life and relationships. Often, those who can’t say “No” within a relationship (or, for that matter, with new dates even before a relationship has been formalized) are often those who can’t say “No” in other situations in their lives. Saying YES when you rather say NO harms your relationships. The only effective way to begin saying “No” is to begin saying it, and to stand by what you say. Why could she never learn?ARTArticleSecret Children of AffairsThere is so much in the news of politicians, celebrities, and public figures with secret children born out of affairs. When I first heard A old Schwarzenegger interviewed on 60 Minutes last fall, and he referred to fathering a love child during his affair by saying: “It was the stupidest thing I have ever done” -- I cringed. Those words, perhaps uttered unconsciously, nevertheless confirmed for me the stigma of being illegitimate. I know, because I am a secret love child.ARTArticleSee What Lurks Beyond Your Own DramaINSIDE RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, JULY 31, 2009 See What Lurks Beyond Your Own Drama Is there somebody who always leaves you feeling better than he found you? I used to live next door to such a person. Whenever I ran into Bob, whether it was for 20 seconds or 20 minutes, I'd later count our meeting among the high points of my day. It took me a while to figure out why. Bob was a psychologist -- still working, still playing tennis, still stimulating -- in his 70s. And he had, with much practice, learned how to make everybody feel accepted: He accepted them.ARTArticleSelecting Your Wedding CenterpiecesYour wedding centerpieces are an integral feature of your reception décor and will help to unify the whole look and style of your wedding. Your choice of centerpieces will affect your choice of linens, the size of your tables and even the number of guests you seat to each table. Depending on the style of your centerpieces you may choose to make your own or get your florist to do them for you.ARTArticleSelf-Betrayal is the Most Horrific Betrayal of them All!You probably tend to think – like most people do - that the most horrific betrayal of all is a person’s betrayal of his/her partner. After all, this is what you have been brought up to believe since childhood – from books and movies you have seen; from newspaper reports you have read; from TV programs you have watched as well as from conversations with others. But actually, the most horrific betrayal of all is a person’s betrayal of himself/herself: of living his/her life not according to what he/she would like to live them.ARTArticleSeven Good Reasons Why Women Love Bad BoysIf you are trying to make yourself more appealing to women then you need to think about how being a little rough and tough might be worth it. There are several reasons why women love bad boys as much as they do. First, women love bad boys because they are men who are confident about what they are like. These include people who are willing to go along with whatever it is they want to do. It’s an interesting change in the norm because there are way too many men out there who feel as though they aren’t sure about what they need to do.ARTArticleSex Addiction as an Intimacy DisorderAttachment patterns have to do with how the infant is tended to by his/her primary caregiver, typically the mother. This means that when an infant is upset, or dysregulated, the "good enough" mother soothes the infant thereby regulating his/her nervous system. This kind of consistent tending to and soothing not only assists the brain in forming its regulatory capacities but also encodes or patterns the nervous system to respond appropriately under stress. If a baby is soothed while under duress, that baby will grow into an adult who can soothe himself while under stress.ARTArticleSex Addiction Is NOT a Moral Issue!Sex is surely one of the most powerful of all human experiences. It can drive people to the pinnacle of ecstasy or it can spiral others to the depths of self-loathing and despair. Sexual expression is meant to tie, or connect, to our core sense of self. Sexual energy is part of our life force, our energy for creative and productive attainments, and the source of our passion for life.ARTArticleSex Addicts: Why Can't They Stop?Most addicts would stop if they could.ARTArticleSexual Alchemy: Convert the "Lead" of Sex Into The "Gold" of Sex Through Energy TransmutationDesire for physical sexual contact is creative potency seeking expression or outlet. That same creative energy projecting as intense sexual desire can become Money energy, Intellectual energy, Political energy, Professional energy, Business energy, Sports energy, Spiritual energy, or whatever type of energy you need at any point in time. Unfortunately, many men being unaware of this fact, continue to waste their essence, and thus fail to avail themselves of that subtle but exceptional creative stimuli generated by their abundant sex drive; and this is one primary cause of mediocrity.ARTArticleShould Women Approach Men?Dear Dr. Neder: I have conflicting thoughts about whether or not it is okay for a female to initiate the conversation with the male. Many people that I know and even those on this board swear by the fact that it is the wrong thing to do. They say it will scare the man off or make him less interested or he'll think I'm easy or desperate. I have read your responses on this topic and I know you support the woman approaching the man.ARTArticleShould You Stay or Should You Leave an Unsatisfying Intimate Relationship?Introduction Whether you decide to stay in an unsatisfying intimate relationship or leave is up to you. But you can make a proper decision only when you are aware of your fears and needs, of what might keep you hanging on to a partner which is not for you, in a relationship which is not healthy and satisfying. Only then you become able to make a conscious decision one way or another. **ARTArticleShy Singles: How Do They Find A Date?There is no real reason why anyone who is shy should not be trying a little harder to get a good date going with someone. There are many ways how shy singles can find people of interest. One option to see is to take a look at different dating websites that offer information on different people. Sometimes it takes a little bit of support for shy people to get out into the dating world. The best online dating spots can be places that are conducive to those who want to find people of interest.ARTArticleSingle & Dating? Use New Year to Lea 5 Steps to Finding a Partner and Developing a Satisfying RelationshipThere is no time like New Year to contemplate your successes and failures regarding intimate relationships. If you find you long to have a partner with whom to develop true intimacy and haven’t succeeded until now, why not use New Year as a time to look inwards and see, once and for all, what stands in your way and what you need to do in order to find love and a true intimacy?ARTArticleSingle Asian Women Often Look for Single Asian Men Online TodayMany Asian women are looking for Asian men when looking for dates. These singles can be found on many Asian dating sites. The reasons why women look for men of the same ethnicity are interesting to see because they involve many ways how these men and women can be similar to each other.ARTArticleSlow Down the ClockINSIDE RELATIONSHIPS BY JAN DENISE RELEASE: FRIDAY, JULY 24, 2009 Slow Down the Clock As I mentioned last week, we can't stop the aging process; but we (SET ITAL) can (END ITAL) slow it down … and appreciate the blessing of time. A few wrinkles (OK, eventually, a lot of wrinkles) are a small price to pay for what matters on the other side of what doesn't. Seems we have to learn for ourselves that money can't buy love and that we can't really love others until we've learned to love ourselves. That's big!ARTArticleSocial Allergies“Ah-choo!” Springtime allergies begin to surface as the temperature becomes not just warm, but hot. We walk around for a period of time with itchy throats, red eyes, skin irritations and various other symptoms. In our relationships with others, we also may find that there are certain experiences that we find ourselves allergic to. We can call these ‘social allergies.’ A social allergy is an experience that causes an immediate unwanted and involuntary reaction. Here are two ways to cope with social allergies. 1. Discover the problem and not the symptom.ARTArticleSomething Old, Something New…..“Something old, something new; something borrowed, something blue & a silver sixpence in her shoe.?” Many brides are familiar with this saying & most will follow to some degree. It is said to have its origins in Victorian times & when followed is believed to bring good luck. If you would like to follow this tradition for your wedding then here are a few suggestions: “Something old” For many this will be something already owned within the family, either the bride’s or the grooms.ARTArticleSpying on Your Partner OR Learning about Yourself: Which one is Better in the Long Run?Partners’ spying on each other is not a new phenomenon. What is new is the “James Bond” techniques they use. In different stores in Manhattan you can find, these days, various devises to spy on your “loved one”: a pen, glasses, a key-chain, a tie, a watch, a clock, even a teddy bear - all of which look like ordinary ones. But they are more than the eye can see!ARTArticleStaying in an Unsatisfying Relationship Rather tha Leaving: The Reasons & the OptionsIntroduction If you feel stuck in an unsatisfying relationship but do not dare to leave, “excusing” your stay with various justifications and rationalizations, try to understand what stands in your way from making a change in your situation. You will then be able to make a clear decision without being driven by uncontrolled fears and uncertainties. **ARTArticleStop Deceiving Yourself about Intimacy: Facing Reality will Lead You to a Successful RelationshipIntroduction There are those who, regardless of how many relationships they have attempted to develop, are failing time and again. Waking-up to face reality is not easy. But it is only when they become willing to look inwards; acknowledge that something must be wrong with the way they approach relationships that they can make the necessary changes leading to success. **ARTArticleStress Relief In Uncertain Economic Times: 7 Steps to a Balanced, Healthy Life and RelationshipIn today’s economic climate, many of us must balance many things in our lives to survive, be happy, healthy and successful. You may be juggling a job or career, or maybe you own or have several jobs or businesses like I do, a relationship, and some of you may even have children and then there’s that much needed and often pushed to the side personal time. How do we do it all?ARTArticleStuck Between a Friendship and Something MoreDear Doc: I've known this girl for about a year now and I like her a lot. To cut a long story short, I've lost her twice now because of my lack of confidence which stops her from seeing me as more than a friend. She knows I'm interested and we almost had something but I pushed her away because of my fear of being inexperienced with women and messing up. Now more than ever I want to put aside my fears and try to be with her but I get stuck. I know the way she sees me changes a lot.ARTArticleStuck in the Same Rut Most Americans Are in These Days? You Don’t Have to Be!I have learned to turn any situation or environment into an opportunity for happiness, new learning and joy. Is this something that would be helpful to you right now? Are you hooked into the gloom and doom and negative outlook the media shouts at you through your TV and radio? You don’t have to participate in all that. REALLY! I don’t! Instead this is what I see: (1.) I’ve see Great Sale prices on almost everything! I’ve been getting deals wherever I shop.ARTArticleTales from the Therapist's Couch: Why Smart Women Stay with the Wrong GuyAs a relationship therapist, I meet women every day who know they are dating the wrong guy. They are bored, they feel lonely, and their relationship is unsatisfying—yet they stay. Why? As different as the women are, their reasons are shockingly similar.ARTArticleTeaching Your Kids How to Make FriendsIs your child lonely, sad, or angry? Would you like to teach your child how to make friends? If you don’t know how, I’ll share the secrets here. First you need to know that research tells us the average child spends 25 hours in front of the TV each week.TV characters become their “friends” and their role models. Speaking about role models, I remember teaching a new class of first graders. Everyone, except two little boys, was sitting tall in anticipation of story time.

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