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ARTArticleA NEW METHOD OF STRESS MANAGEMENT: STRESS TRANSFORMATION AND STHENIC REACTIONStress, as most people use that term, really refers to the reaction that you have to a stressful situation. This is the “fight or flight” reaction. It is the instinctive and unconscious preparation of all your internal systems - muscles, emotions, adrenaline, will - to respond stress as a threat. You either fight a threat or you run away from it. The cost on you internally is enormous. Each such reaction degrades the system’s ability to respond, much like using a knife dulls the edge ever so slightly with each use.ARTArticleA Realistic Approach to Reducing Unhappiness and Preventing DivorceWhile many conflicted and combative couples stay together through the holidays to not disappoint the kids or the extended family members, other couples who may have not even been thinking about divorce, begin to feel discouraged, disappointed, and disenchanted after the holidays and decide to divorce. Although there are very good reasons for divorce, personal unhappiness may not be caused by the marriage, and divorce may not be the solution.
It is unlikely that your marriage is the source of all of your unhappiness.ARTArticleAccept DifficulitySometimes things are difficult. Your legs are tired and you still have to stay on your feet another hour at work. You love a child who's finding her independence through emotional distance from you. A long-term relationship could be losing its spark. It's finals week in college. You're trying to start a business and it's struggling. You've got a chronic health problem or a disability. Sometimes people don't appreciate your work. You're being discriminated against or otherwise treated unjustly. The body ages, sags, and grows weary.ARTArticleAcknowledgement Earns Workplace EngagementWe all crave to be seen, heard and acknowledged. Whether I say that to individuals, groups or large audiences, heads nod in the affirmative. When I first began working in a counseling agency, I was thrilled with the supervision. My manager smiled, nodded and listened as I worked out my problems through non-stop, extroverted talking. As I exited from his office, I would turn, thank him for his time and he would respond with a generous laugh and a big “You’re most welcome.” I left notes of appreciation on his desk and the occasional homemade muffin.ARTArticleAddiction and Recovery: Don't Let Grief Over the Loss of Alcohol Derail Your Transition Into RecoveryOne of the common experiences of the earliest efforts toward quitting drinking and becoming sober, is grief over the loss of the chemical. For many people with an alcohol or other drug problem, the chemical, (whether it is alcohol or oxycodone) has become the addict's best friend and constant companion. When this best friend is given up, the alcoholic/addict experiences grief.
The chemical plays all kinds of roles in the alcoholic's life and these roles are necessary and meaningful.ARTArticleAddiction and Recovery: The Cross Addiction WorksheetMany recovering people who begin the process of becoming clean and sober, harbor the notion that they can continue to hang on to some remnants of an old drinking/using lifestyle. They often initially believe that specific drugs are The Problem. Initially alcoholics/addicts may not consider use of other drugs (including alcohol) as problematic. When the idea of being addicted to all mood altering drugs does come up, the idea is often dismissed as not being applicable.ARTArticleAnxietyAnxiety is a major issue. Over 40 millio
Americans suffer from some form of anxiety. One in four people world-wide will suffer from anxiety at some point in their lives. So, if you are suffering from anxiety, you are not alone!
But the good news is that are things that you can do to help yourself feel better, more confident, more relaxed! I always suggest to people that I work with to go to their family doctor and get a full physical. There may be an underlying physical condition. Once that is ruled out, it is time for us to get to work.
It is important to breathe.ARTArticleAssumptionsI was interviewed for a new web site where I was asked what is the number one problem in marriages? With little hesitatio
I answered, “assumptions!” Because we assume that we know our partners, we assume that we know what they are thinking. Know one thing for sure, if you are assuming, then assume that you are wrong.
We do not know what is happening in someone else’s mind. No matter how close we are, we stand an excellent chance of getting it wrong. Let me share some examples. I know this couple that had been dating for a few months.ARTArticleAt The Heart of Leadership is Creativity, Imagination and Seeing Beyond Boundaries and Conventional ThinkingThere are many theories on what leadership is. People love to give flowery language and fiery quotes that seem more motivational than instructional. Listing endless adjectives about leaderships is not defining leadership or even describing leadership. It actually shows how hard it is to say what leadership is. It’s more than just holding a position of authority. It’s more than just developing personal excellence. It’s more than just cheering people on. It is especially more than yelling at or threatening them.
But there are not too many theories on what leadership is not.ARTArticleAutism ComboIntegrated 4 Part Therapy for Autism
There seem to be hundreds of therapies for autism on the market today and “on the market” seems to be the reason – money. However, there is no real integration of any of these therapies and little information for the “poor” parents with an autistic child (and “poor” is often correct as autism is a “bankrupting disease”).
There are four different basic problems with four different therapies needed to solve them and work towards any cure or improvements.ARTArticleBook Review - The Time Paradox: The New Psychology of Time That Will Change Your LifeYour every significant choice -- every important decision you make -- is determined by a force operating deep inside your mind: your perspective on time -- your internal, personal time zone. This is the most influential force in your life, yet you are virtually unaware of it. Once you become aware of your personal time zone, you can begin to see and manage your life in exciting new ways.ARTArticleBoost Your Gratitude at Work and Home“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is ‘thank you,’ it will be enough.” Meister Eckhardt
When was the last time you made note of your good fortune? It is the most economical and easily accessible way to avoid depression, especially in touch economic conditions. I feel grateful when I think of living in Canada, my supportive and long term marriage, the work I do, the welcoming places I have visited, my friends and the qualities I have had the privilege to develop.ARTArticleBreaking Up With Toxic Friends“You cannot change the people around you, but you can change the people you choose to be around.” -UnknownARTArticleCan You Put Up With Immature Behaviour?The answer to this to some extent depends on who the person is, and what the behaviour is, and how much their behaviour affects you and in what ways. Obviously this is a very broad question but there is an important point behind it, in terms of an individual's willingness to let other people be themselves and that other people can be mature or not depending on their age and life position.ARTArticleCreativity and MadnessMuch has been written and discussed about the relationship between creativity, particularly creative genius, and insanity, mental illness. Shakespeare wrote, in “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”: “The lunatic, the love
and the poet are of imagination all compact.” Still, there is to this day no consensus on this linkage. In Creativity and Madness: New Findings and Old Stereotypes, Albert Rothenberg, M.D.ARTArticleDeath Anniversaries; Inspirational and Amazing StoriesThe approach and actual anniversary day of the death of someone loved and lost, brings to the surface an unsettling sea of emotions. As a therapist and life coach who provides bereavement and grief counseling, and someone who has experienced death at an early age, understanding grieving and loss is a subject near and dear to my heart.
I had a recurring dream as a child that thieves broke into our apartment, snatched my mother, and threw her out of my bedroom window while I watched stunned, and paralyzed with fear.ARTArticleDepression 101: Quick Fixes for Overwhelming EmotionsAt times, everyone experiences emotions so intense that there’s no controlling them or talking ourselves out of them. When the emotions you feel are so overwhelming that you just need to stop what you’re doing and deal with them, here are some tips for what to do. Remember that feeling your emotions, especially the painful ones, is the way through them.ARTArticleDepression 101: Radical AcceptanceMost of the pain of overwhelming emotion is caused by our struggle against feeling the emotion. We fight against our situation, wishing things were different, being disappointed when our expectations aren’t met, and telling ourselves we shouldn’t be upset, depressed, sad, disappointed, or angry. The next time you feel overwhelmed by intense emotion, try doing the exact opposite of what you normally do: feel the emotion and accept it. Tell yourself, "I’m feeling __________________ right now and it is very uncomfortable.ARTArticleDepression 101: Two -Minute Reality CheckThe negative effects of overwhelming emotions often have more to do with our reaction to the emotion than to the emotion itself. If you feel extreme rage and act on that rage by breaking a window or physically assaulting the person you’re angry at, the problem then becomes the damage you’ve caused rather than the emotion of anger. If you allow the anger to pass through you without reacting to it, there would be no problem. Emotions themselves, even the painful ones, can be neutral and soon pass.ARTArticleDepression And The Traveler Within Us AllThe road was long, dusty and rough. It went on winding through the forest and was strewn with rocks and ruts, which was hard on the feet. A lone pair of soft leather slippers worn by a tired peasant trod along its path.ARTArticleDo You Guide or Dominate Your Children?This question obviously applies mainly to people who have their own children, but can equally apply to people who as children are aware of their own upbringing, and can also apply to how an individual treats other people in his life who he effectively has some responsibility for, either at work or in some other type of social context. The issue is perhaps clearer when referred to an individuals own children, but has a very important focus in terms of how an individual relates to any group of people who he has responsibility for.ARTArticleDo You Think of Other People As Separate Individuals?This is the sort of question that people will instinctively answer yes to, without really taking a moment to consider the real implication of what the question is asking, and why it is particularly important to any notion of personal development or self growth. At some level people think of other people as being different or separate from themselves.ARTArticleEmpathic Connections; What Do You Do When You Know Something Is Wrong But Don't Know How You Know?Probably the most important lesso
I have learned in developing my intuition is to trust and act on “knowing without knowing why”. Most often this empathic connection; an acute feeling sense, happens between family members and close friends. But it can also happen with our pets. A few nights ago this happened when my daughter’s friend was hanging out.
The four of us sat down to have dinner. One minute we were immersed in conversation and the next we were silenced. “Hold on a minute” my daughter’s friend said. “I think I hear my dog barking”.ARTArticleGoals and Expectations; Personal Lessons and Revelations Working with an Autistic ChildIn the hopes of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet.
Albert Schweitzer
In relationships, both personal and professional it’s important to be conscious of our goals and expectations. It’s also a good idea to honestly assess the present and the past. How else can we establish reference points, of where we were and where are now? Too often we focus on the future; what we want, have yet to attain, on our unrealized dreams.ARTArticleHappy Valentine's?Happy Valentine’s Day! Valentine’s day has always struck me as an odd day. If you are not involved with someone, you need to hurry up and find someone so that you are not alone that day. If you are with someone, you must show your undying love by sending cards and chocolate. All because society says so. What is so special about February 14th? Who decreed that this is THE day for proclaiming love?
If you are in a relationship where you are only shown love once a year, you have bigger issues than a box of chocolate can fix. Unfortunately, that is what happens.ARTArticleHealing Anxiety with mindfulness and Experiential ImageryMindfulness as taught in Mindfulness Psychotherapy and Mindfulness Meditation Therapy, is a particular awareness skill that teaches us to be aware of what is happening while it is happening. Through diligent practice, we begin to recognize reactions as they arise form moment to moment throughout the day. We learn to respond to each reaction with the simple formula: STOP, LOOK and LISTEN. When a reaction arises we simply greet it with: “No. Not now.ARTArticleHeart Attack Symptoms In Women And StressMost studies on heart attacks, and heart attack symptoms, have been performed on men. But surprisingly, when the National Institutes of Health (NIH) studied heart attacks in women, they found that women have much different experiences. In fact, many of the symptoms of heart attacks in women are misdiagnosed as chronic fatigue or flu! So if you are a woman – or someone who loves one – you need to know how heart attack symptoms women differ from heart attack symptoms men.ARTArticleHighly Intuitive Children; Amazing Stories and Insights About Raising Psychic ChildrenDo you have or know a highly intuitive child? When you look into their eyes it’s as if there’s an unspoken understanding between you, a psychic connection. I casually refer to these children as “old souls”. They just seem wiser than their years, and more tuned in to the sixth sense.
I have written about my children who are now teenagers. Perhaps it’s not surprising to learn that they were very intuitive youngsters.ARTArticleHome Business Tips - Home Business and Personal GroomingThe issue of personal grooming may seem slightly odd in the context of running a business from home, or working from home, but actually aside from the physical practicalities and needs of personal grooming, it is a really important issue in terms of the individual's attitude to their work and their home.rARTArticleHome Business Tips - Home Business and ProductivityThe very word productivity may be one of the main reasons why people want to start their own business or work from home. Productivity by its very nature implies getting the maximum out of an individual, often at the expense of their individuality and quite often at the expense of any decent monetary reward.r