Browse Grief and Loss

Adam Altschuh, Psy.D. is a grief counselor practicing in Brookline, MA. He specializes in treating complicated grief as well as providing support to cancer patients and their caregivers. He can be reached at 720-515-9427.

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Ashley is a licensed psychotherapist and grief counselor in private practice in Epping, New Hampshire. She is also a writer and the author of several self-help books: Transcending Loss and Claim Your Inner Grown-up. Her work focuses on coping with losses, searching for meaning, maximizing one’s potential, finding inne…

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Grief and Bereavement Specialist, Host of The Mary Mac Show Podcast, The Mary Mac Store, Award-Winning Author, Speaker and Foundation for Grieving Children, Inc. Founder/President, Blogger, Consultant, Private Bereavement Executive Coach and nationally-know Crime Victims’ Rights Advocate. Mary M. McCambridge (Ask Mary…

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I am a hospice-trained grief counselor and psychotherapist. Life's changes can be challenging, leading to feelings of depression, anxiety, trauma, helplessness, hopelessness. I am fully trained to practice EMDR, a clinically proven method for treating trauma, depression, anxiety, chronic pain, performance anxiety and…

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I'm Betty Perryman, "The Happy Life Strategist" at www.HappinessBeyondGrief.com. I help grief coaches, counselors and women in minstery unplug from their work so they can ENJOY FREEDOM from client empathy overwhelm.

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Women work with me to learn how to trust again and feel safe in their relationship after finding out he cheated. Showing you how to rebuild your relationship is what I do best. Working together, we will make sure you have a deeper understanding of what happened and why. You’ll gain better awareness of why you feel a…

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I have created a website/blog to help others see themselves and their environment free of the profound influence of past wounds, fears, and disappointments still imprinted on the subconscious and the body. Whether we are challenged by unresolved grief, addiction, depression, etc., we can move through and beyond the ch…

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I use my 30 years of business and marketing experience, along with my coaching and grief recovery expertise to empower people in having a more joyful and satisfying life! If you've suffered any of the forty major losses, whether recent or long ago, unresolved grief may be stopping you from accomplishing your goals.…

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Hi. My name is Ellen DuBois, Host of MiscarriageHelp.com and author of I Never Held You, a book about miscarriage, grief, healing and recovery with commentaries by Dr. Linda R. Backman, (author of Bringing Your Soul to Light). I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com for over three years, and am grateful for the opportun…

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Ellen Gerst approaches all of her writing projects and coaching sessions from a "been there/done that" perspective. Widowed at age 39, with two young sons to raise, she not only "recovered" from this devastating blow but thrived as she used it as a platform of self-discovery and transformation. She is the author of…

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Gabrielle Michel, a pioneer in the grief movement is an ordained interfaith minister, a certified Grief Recovery Specialist and spiritual counselor who has been helping people work through spiritual crisis for over 15 years. In 2004, she experienced a spiritual crisis of her own. February brought the miscarriage of h…

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Gemini is passionate about gently and safely unraveling the shadowy ‘stuff’ that sits behind our suffering to bring relief and restore an authentic state of wellbeing to mind, body, heart and soul. Specializing in body-oriented psychotherapy, working with somatic practices, and trauma-informed yoga, she’s transformed…

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Grace received her nursing degree from UWO and has been a practicing RN for many years. She has worked in a large variety of nursing specialties including Emergency, ICU, community nursing, and mental health. These experiences have honed her compassion and made her keenly intuitive to the grief process that is associa…

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Jane Vair Bissler, Ph.D., LPCC-S, FT Jane is a counselor, teacher, writer and speaker. She has a talent for giving people “ah ha moments” as they develop new spiritual, emotional and mental perspectives on the thoughts and behaviors that create distress in their lives. She is a practicing clinical counselor and clini…

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Jane Galbraith lives in Ontario. She holds a Bachelor of Science Degree in Nursing from McMaster University and has worked in the community health care field since 1976. She is the author of “Baby Boomers Face Grief – Survival and Recovery". Her work has included dealing with palliative clients and their bereaved fam…

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Karen Grisham is the editor of www.comfortyourheart.com with a professional practice in Mental Health Nursing for 15 years. Her unique experience and her sensitivity to the needs of grieving people assures that you choose appropriate and effective words of comfort for sympathy. Find ways to select sympathy gift baske…

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Karen Mehringer, MA is the author of Sail Into Your Dreams: 8 Steps to Living a More Purposeful Life, a speaker, and intuitive grief coach. She offers powerful solutions for healing grief and living fully through private sessions and group events. If you frequently find yourself feeling tired, depressed and stuck in y…

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For over 40 years of his life Ken Matthies has been a writer and chronicler of life expressed in poetic form, following the family tradition laid down by his grandfather before him. Faced with the dramatically life altering experience of his helicopter pilot daughter’s sudden death in 2002 he has grown to also become…

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Lisa Shaw has been a spiritual counselor since 1988, specializing in telepathic animal communication since 1992. A clairvoyant reader, she has worked at various metaphysical centers and as an independent spiritual consultant. She completed her Reiki Master training in 1994 and continues serving as a teacher and counse…

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Louis E. LaGrand, Ph.D., is Distinguished Service Professor Emeritus at the State University of New York and Adjunct Professor of Health Careers at the Eastern Campus of Suffolk Community College in Riverhead, New York. He was a member of the debriefing team for the Nassau County Medical Examiner's office on the TWA F…

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Spiritual Grief Recovery Expert Coach Louise Rouse -- Certified in the following: Personal and Professional Coach, Transpersonal Therapist, Alchemical Hypnotherapist, and Biofeedback Main Areas: Transformational - helping you return to Joy Spiritual Grief Recovery Like a caterpillars cocoon turning to decay and the…

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Marianne Esolen has worked in a wide variety of environments with children and families for twenty years. She has served as a Crisis Counselor, Youth Program Director, Career Coach, Oncology Camp Director, Education Specialist, and Training Consultant working with United Way, FEGS, CASA, American Cancer Society, Depar…

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Marie Dudek is a certified Mental Health First Aid instructor, President of Creating Today, Inc., and a founding member of the Central Florida Chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. In June 2003, Marie experienced the suicide death of her beautiful 22-year old daughter, Natalie Gillett. Since that…

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Martha Thayer is the Founder of End of Life Insights, LLC, which provides Consultation Services, Public Speaking Engagements, Professional Development, and Research on end of life issues. Martha has been involved in the Colorado Funeral Service Industry since 1988. She has been the Department Chair of the nationally r…

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Mary Zemites, widowed in 1992, has facilitated bereavement groups for twelve years. In 2009, Mary founded InTimeOfSorrow.com. She strives to provide meaningful sympathy gifts for the bereaved as well as grief resources and monthly newsletters on different aspects of grieving. Mary resides in Chandler, Arizona.

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With a desire to learn more about her abilities, Michelle studied under Dr. Paul Daniele, Ph.D., D.D., P.C, the president of the College of Metaphysical Studies in Clearwater, Florida. She earned a degree as a Spirit Medium and another as an Intuitive Practitioner. Dr. Daniele is quoted as saying, “Michelle possesses…

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Mitch lost his father to heart disease in 1969. In 1975 his only brother died of cerebral palsy. In 1985 he lost his twin sister and her two boys in a car accident. In 1987 he lost his only son Kelly to cancer. His mother succumbed to cancer in 2000. Mitch has struggled with the grief journey and how grief is processe…

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- - v\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);}rno\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);}rnw\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);}rn.shape {behavior:url(#default#VML);} - - Rabbi Mel Glazer has been the Rabbi of Temple Shalom in Colorado Springs, CO since July 2007. A 1974 ordainee of The Jewish Theological Seminary in New York City, h…

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Sandy Clendenen lost her husband and best frienf in 1999, after twenty-one years of marriage. Her grief process was lengthy and complex. Sandy felt stuck in layers of unresolved grief. As part of her heaing, Sandy filled numerous jou als with her thoughts and feelings. A review of these jou als several years later re…

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Sharon Roth-Lichtenfeld, CPC, ELI MP, BFA is a Certified Professional Life Coach and Energy Leadership Master Practitioner from the Institute for Professional Empowerment Coaching (IPEC). Sharon works with people and their caregivers who have or have had a life changing even such as a catastrophic illness (Cancer, MS,…

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Rev. Sheila Van Houten, DD, PhD, is the author of the newly published book, True Ghosts, available now on amazon.com and other places for $31.95. True Ghosts is a collection of 22 dramatic and engaging true stories from Sheila's life and spans 30 years. There are experiments to try after each of the 22 stories. When…

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Tabitha Jayne is a leading expert in the field of grief and growth coaching, having first developed an interest in the topic following the sudden death of her younger brother. The founder of “Transform Grief. Live Fully. Thrive Loss” coaching and workshops, Tabitha is also the creator of “Tree of Transformation”, a fi…

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Born in Sun Valley, Idaho, Tamara Thomas moved to Arizona in 1980. She has lived and worked in the Wickenburg area for the last 11 years, and has spent the last eight years working at the Wickenburg Sun newspaper. Tamara was educated at Reed College, Vanderbilt University and the University of Arizona. As well as bei…

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Love loss and grief through the eyes of children are a part of my life experience. My sons were 14 and 18 years old when their father was murdered. Ryan our oldest was a freshman in college and Justin was a freshman in high school. Our sons were facing challenging developlemental transition, but wonderful educational,…

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Time heals, they say. In my experience, time does not heal exactly, but it does help some scar tissue form. It helps the wound from being so excruciating and bloody. My daughter died in May of 2008. In the first weeks and months I clung desperately to time. I counted days, then weeks, finally months, grabbing at every advancement on the calendar with both fists, wanting time to take away the pain. And time, as is its nature, dragged inexorably forward.

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Grief is more than an emotion. Like love, it goes much deeper. Emotions are generally temporary and subject to change with surrounding circumstances. A child gets a good grade on a test. She is happy and proud (two emotions). Rain dampens a planned party. The hostess is disappointed and frustrated (two more). A friend reneges on a promise. I am angry and hurt (another couple). None of these emotions lasts very long. Each emotion can be replaced by another rather quickly, with merely a change of events. No so grief.

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I don’t believe in coincidences. Whether part of some “divine plan” or a science deeper than we currently understand, I think everything happens for a reason. I see it as a philosophical version of Chaos Theory (http://www.imho.com/grae/chaos/chaos.htm); in my thinking, there is a pattern, a Koch’s Curve (http://mathworld.wolfram.com/KochSnowflake.html) to life. If we could just stand back far enough, we could see the pattern and the beauty. Unfortunately, we usually cannot get that perspective, and that is the problem.

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Once again, the month of May presented personal challenges. Memorial Day brings with it my own personal day of remembrance – the anniversary of my daughter’s car crash and death. This May marks three years. Each year, as the date has approached, I have tried to convince myself that it would be just another day, no worse than any other – and every year I am wrong.r

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Have you been on a plane and heard the flight attendant tell you to put on your oxygen mask first? The immediate response is, "No way, I need to take care of my kids (husband, mother, best friend, stranger in the seat next to me...). The idea clashes with our instinct. What does it really mean? Simply put: If you don't put your mask on first, you won't be there for all those other people when they need you. You will be unconscious. The same applies to caregivers.

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While grief is a universal experience, the mou ing process varies from family to family and from culture to culture. What I am referring to as the mou ing process are the rituals that most of us grow up with about how to behave and how to speak when confronted with a loss. In essence, mou ing rituals can be referred to as habits or paradigms. These habits or rituals are usually not questioned.

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Holidays can be difficult for widows. Whether it is a birthday, anniversary, Thanksgiving or New Years, the memories of past holidays can keep widows stuck in the past and unable to move forward in their life. It can feel impossible to even consider participating in a holiday without one's spouse. Those shared traditions and memories from past years probably do not feel appropriate now. Sometimes widows feel guilty when they think about participating in special days without their spouse.

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Many who grieve find comfort and healing through the jou aling process. Writing truly does cause thinking. And thinking is the beginning of new awareness. And awareness is the beginning of transformation. When the love of your life is no longer physically present in your everyday like, there is definitely a huge empty space in your life. Often there is a great need to express yourself. Jou aling can really fill that need in a safe and secure way. Your journal can become your closest confidant. You may ask if jou aling is an isolating process.

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The grief process can be compared to the transformative process of the butterfly. Grievers ofte find themselves stuck inside the safety of the cocoon of grief. There is a sense of feeling lost in the darkness of grief. There is a push-puss feeling that often occurs during grief. Grievers want to move beyond their grief, but often find themselves unable to move out of that dark but secure place that grief can become. The journey of the butterfly from the cocoon is not an easy task.

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Dating and Griefr By Sandy Clendenen About a year after my husband died I began feeling extremely restless. Grief kept my mind skittering from one thing to another. Although these restless feelings were confusing, they were at least a bit of a relief from the heaviness of grief’s deep sadness and depression. Somehow, from this agitated state of displaced energy, I decided to try internet dating. It took me awhile to figure out the mechanics, since I knew very little about computers at that time.

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Dating and Griefr By Sandy Clendenen About a year after my husband died I began feeling extremely restless. Grief kept my mind skittering from one thing to another. Although these restless feelings were confusing, they were at least a bit of a relief from the heaviness of grief’s deep sadness and depression. Somehow, from this agitated state of displaced energy, I decided to try internet dating. It took me awhile to figure out the mechanics, since I knew very little about computers at that time.

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About a year after ny husband died I began feeling extremely restless. My mind seemed to be skittering from one thing to another. in a way, this was welcome relief from the heaviness of deep sadness and depression. But something was missing. Of course, comething was missing. My husband was ...

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Several times over the past few years I began to keep a gratitude journal. I bought a special notebook and pen and kept them by my bed. I wrote for a few days. Then I would forget for a day. Then I would stop completely. Last year I made a commitment to myself to write in my journal for 21 ...

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Do you know your net worth? The first time I was asked this questio I had no idea what it meant. Even though I paid the bills for our farming business, I really did not pay attention to the bigger picture. I had money to pay the bills. that was the important thing. Right? When my husband died ...

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Since grief is a difficult topic for most people, there is a tendency to descend into myths about the subject of grief. These myths have often been passed down from generation to generation. These myths or paradigms easily become the truth of our lives that we accept without questioning. In ...

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How do you survive Valentine's Day when your special valentine is no longer around? 1) If you are feeling sad or depressed, be honest about it. In the past this may have been a special day for you and n your loved one. But now you are alone. If you are sad, n be being ...

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In the previous article I shared with you one of the most prevalent myths encountered by grievers; namely,"...it just takes time to heal grief." I explained how this myth, along with many others, have been passed down from generation to generation, and how these myths are assumed to be factual ...

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As we continue in this series of articles on the myths of grief I want to discuss the third myth, "Put on a happy face. You'll feel better." With all the recent emphasis on the Law of Attraction, there is an urgency within the culture to be happy. We attract what we think about, says the Law of ...

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This is the fourth article in a series of 8 articles about some of the prevalent myths that can keep grievers stuck in their grief much longer than necessary. The myth we will focus on in this article is: "Be strong. Others are depending on you." This myth can be a real energy drainer. What ...

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So far in this series of articles on the Myths of Grief we have discussed the following myths: 1) It just takes time. 2) Keep your grieving to yourself. 3) Put on a happy face. You'll feel better. 4) Be strong. Others are depending on you. We have explored how each of these ...

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In this article I will be discussing a myth which most people can readily recall from early childhood, "Replace the loss and go on with your life." As young children we may have had a cherished stuffed animal or other special treasure. We may also have been fortunate enough to have a pet. The ...

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When you lose your spouse life feels very disorganized. All relationships provide a sense of structure, whether you think of it that way or not. Much of grief is really about coping with the lack of structure which manifests in the sad, empty space of what had been a significant ...

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On the day my son died Dec.1st 1987, something shifted in my soul, something deep inside my being got rewired. As a newly bereaved parent you anticipate that the affects and symptoms of shock will eventually wear off as reality arm wrestles for control of our conscious thought. Shock ...

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As stated in my book Letters To My Son, my son was diagnosed with an incurable malignant brain tumor in February of 1986 and although receiving a miracle healing in Mexico he ultimately died of related cancers on December 1st 1987. When we were in Mexico, I had with me a very special rosary ...

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Oh……. we’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz …Those words and melody always bring back to mind one of my favorite movies in the whole world. Maybe it was gathering around the television with mismatched Tupperware bowls of popco and a cold bottle of Coke ...

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When one loses their spouse, a top life stressor, the level of stress experienced can feel extremely overwhelming to the griever. Modern life is filled with stress. And this stress occurs on many different levels. There are the daily stresses of life which are often ignored as trivial. These are things like getting stuck in traffic, noise pollution, lack of sleep, car problems. There can also be deeper causes of stress like excessive worrying, health conce s, fear of poverty, negative self talk, to name a few.

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Mother's Day carries a lot of emotional significance for most grievers. Whatever one's relationship with Mother, this person is our first connection here on the Earth plane. This connection may have lasted a lifetime or it may have ended on the day of birth with adoption, or any number other life circumstances.

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Is it a job or a new location or even perhaps a better or new relationship that you seek? Maybe even something different you want to try or do. Most of us get settled in our routines, stuck in the rut so to say. It is hard or maybe even uncomfortable to try to change our lives or even to re-create ourselves. But really what is worse; staying in the same old routine or trying something different? If we stay in the same routine, relationship, job, what have you, I promise you nothing will ever change.

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Is your Psychic, Psychic? Everyone has “Intuitive” abilities, we are born with natural instinct. It’s common sense. Think of those who trade on the open market. These talented people have some sense of a feeling to sell or buy. Yes, the watch the market and stocks but they still go on instinct. More common than not if you truly have a conversation with most people they will tell you ” I just felt it, or knew it”. How? Natural intuition, Mother’s instinct? Yes.

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller My wife came home from the office last week with a discovery from among her filing which has brought me much comfort as the still healing father, son, brother and friend that I am. The simple beauty and imagery of these words has cast a new and profoundly peaceful outlook on the journey of all those whom I’ve lost throughout my life to dying – and eased my pain.

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller In today’s world of rapid change on all fronts the integrity of family units has not been exempt from the effects of those changes. This has resulted in ever greater numbers of broken relationships, divorces and separations – and thereby new children, partners and spouses being added to the mixed equations of their family lives.

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller How could anyone think it possible to find ‘golden moments’ in a loved one’s long term dying? There are many among you out there in the world that are grieving from the loss of a family member or close friend who faced a long term dying. You probably felt like a piece of you was dying right along with them over the many long months or years before their end finally came, and your grief for their loss finally broke loose to become a living reality within you.

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller How often in the midst of your loss, grief and bereavement have you found yourself feeling as though you were about to drown in sorrow, not knowing what direction to reach out to in order to find the safety of something to hang on to and not go completely under from the pain of it all?

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller “This little light of mine…I’m gonna let it shine…” So go the words of a Sunday school song of ancient memory as I sit down to write this story – and in them I’m finding a source of solace and strength as I continue walking my healing path more than five years after a daughter’s loss.

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller For many people dealing with issues of loss, grief and bereavement there’s also a spiritual aspect which can play a powerful role in their healing and recovery. Within the community of religion, and faith in a living afterlife of the spirit to be found in peoples around the world, there is an acceptance of death which transcends beyond the human pain of those left behind to mou their passing.

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller How often during the course of your grieving days and months has something like this happened to you and helped you in your healing just by its happening?

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller On a recent visit to the beauty of Southeast Alaska I was privileged to encounter an Elder of the Tlingit peoples who live there. He had recently lost his wife after many years of an illness which led eventually to her passing.

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller The journey of your healing from loss, grief and bereavement will continue for you through a lifetime of learning – and from my own experience of having gone through it I’ve come to understand that as a good thing – not something negative to drive me to further despair.

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller The third cycle of grief is where the good news of your healing journey finally begins to outweigh the bad news and feelings from your experience of loss, grief and bereavement prior to this point, during that ete ity of time when it felt like it’d take forever for you to arrive here. Here are the marker stones of this final cycle of grief ‘Integration - Mending the Heart: • The decline of your grief • The waves of their intensity getting farther apartr

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller It’s in this second of the grief cycles that the waters of emotion get deeper and run heavy with the hidden currents of your pain – but again there are marker stones within this part of your experience to help you understand this part of your journey and know it will eventually lead you to your healing. The hard simple truth is that you have to endure the journey – but enduring it is so much less difficult if you understand what it is that you’re enduring.

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller Every single journey of loss, grief and bereavement is individual and different for each person experiencing it. There can be no hard and fast rules saying that it’s the same for everyone or telling anyone going through the experience how long or short a time period it should last till they break through to their healing.

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller Every single person experiencing the pain of grief would like to know that there’s a hard and fast rule that can tell you when you can expect the pain to go away so your life can get back to “normal”. In the first place, who’s to say what “normal” really is after experiencing a death that’s taken away everything you ever considered to be normal before it happened?

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storytellerr You’ve probably seen this sort of example a thousand times before in your life and never had cause to think twice about it on any of those occasions.

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller When I walked into the funeral parlor prior to my daughter’s funeral for a private family viewing time, the powerful music and words of Vince Gill’s song “Go Rest High on that Mountain” was playing on the speakers. The poignant words and haunting beauty of this song drove me into a pew at the time, curled up and covered in pain and tears with the harsh reality of her death before me.

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller What are you doing to keep the vision alive in your own heart and mind of the loved one you lost? Finding a way to do so is a vitally important part of dealing with your loss, grief and bereavement because it helps lead you deeper into your healing. Whatever way you choose to help you do this, know that its constant presence around you will serve to keep that connection vital and glowing in your heart and offer a healing reassurance to your wounded soul.

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller My granddaughter turned ten years old the other day, and it was as I was calling her to wish her happy birthday that I realized she was already twice as old as the day her mother died. On my granddaughter’s scale of years she has lived another whole lifetime over the past five years.

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller ‘A Mother’s Gratitude’ tells you a brief story of the grieving process from a mother’s perspective – and serves as an example of acceptance and hope for all of you readers looking for the affirmation that there are others out there like you who are also grieving the pain of separation from their child.

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller I’ll understand if you’re wondering what a grief buddy* could possibly have to do with the tail rotor of a Bell 206 helicopter…or what lesson of healing value could be found in either one of those subjects. Bear with me here and see for yourself the values of healing from loss, grief and bereavement to be found in both.

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller One thing that seems certain about healing from grief as time passes is that it’s a process of change for those of us living in it. How the earthquakes of pain we feel in the early anniversary days of our grief evolve over time is a perfect example of that process of change.

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller In the early days of grief amid the numbness and shock of loss the thought of memorial symbols is not yet a part of your grieving or healing process. But there comes a point in the days following where suddenly it seems that’s all you can think about, and a drive to remember the one you’ve lost compels you to do something of lasting value to honor them and maintain your heart link to them.

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller This was my poem of decision – written in the realization that it was finally time for the ‘rubber to hit the road’ of my future life in a meaningful way despite the fact that I was still a healing dad. I knew I was on a journey of healing but felt the compelling force of these questions within me of…”where do I go from here, and how do I get there?” I needed to know their answers.

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller This was a poem written in still dreaded anticipation of the third anniversary of her death due to arrive once again on the following day. It would in fact turn out to be a landmark day in my healing process as I finally allowed myself to remember and experience its full effects on me for the very first time, in order to finally be able to give outlet to those deep feelings of grief still trapped within me. Anniversary Memories

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller This was a poem written in trembling anticipation of the second anniversary of her death due to arrive in its full force and fury the following day – a harsh truth about anniversaries every grieving parent will know to be true. Realityrn(A Daughter’s Death) It’s been two years since my daughter’s deathr And my heart still feels empty and tight! I know and accept all the reasons she diedr And still – it just doesn’t feel right!

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller Written a month and a half after my daughter died, the poem you'll read below was a last ditch effort to hang onto my spiritual faith before I descended in a deep spiral into the ‘despair marker stone’ of *Confrontation - Entering the Depths*, the second of grief’s cycles I endured which led me onward to my healing. (You can refer to my Marker Stones of the Grief Journey series of articles available on this site to learn more about your cycles of grief).

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“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller Every single death that occurs brings loss, grief and bereavement to someone who loved or cared for that individual, and its significance never can or should be discounted in its impact and meaning to those suffering and finding healing from its effects.

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For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Ken Matthies, retired Canadian Forces Northern Ranger. I’m also John’s youngest brother, come down from the Yukon Territory to love, honor and pay tribute to him in my own special way at his passing. I have a story about John to share with you today…and it begins like this… ************************************************************

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For my Aunt Helen Jantzen, at your Crossroads of Life and Death You Have ....... You have walked life’s road, lo, these many years together in body and heart; You have shared the dreams, the joys and the tears of two lives that now must part. You have been called to that test we are all called to take when a spirit you must release; You have been called to the shores of a mighty lake where that spirit will find it’s peace. You have reason to take the time to grieve and release your husband for life; You have reason to know that what you believer

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A SISTER’S FAREWELLrn(When Last We Said Goodbye) “You hugged and held me close, and then looked deeply into my face. I remember that look in your eyes, Sis…” I finally fell asleep last nightr With that image before my face, The depth of the look you gave me thenr Eclipsed all of Man as a race. It spoke first of your great joy For the beautiful day we had shared; The laughter and fun and wonderful foodr To which nothing on earth compared. It spoke of the love carried deep withinr A sister’s heart for her brother; And shone with a glow from a radiant facer

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I’m speaking to you today… IN REMEMBRANCE OF a man known as Private Cornelius Peter Buhler – or – (Buller)… a member of the Calgary Highlanders Regiment who was killed in actio July 25, 1944 during the Allied combat offensive in France.

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Some say we don't have anymore heroes but I say we do. Let's take a look at what a hero is and decide if you are one. A hero travels the hero's journey. That's when regular people such as you or me are asked to leave our routine life because something serious has occurred and we are asked to do something about it. We are "called to help." We are called to save our king, our country, our friend, or ourself. And because the task is arduous, we really don't want to accept it.

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When you open yourself up to love, you open yourself up to loss. When you suffer a loss, you will experience the painful emotion we call grief. It's a natural response to loss yet to the person going through this afflictive emotion, the experience feels overwhelming. I would like to help you understand that going through it means it is a process not an event and, depending on the personal connection you have to the loss, it is very individual.

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It was 1992. Four years had lapsed since my daughter Katie's diagnosis of a brain tumor. She was now healthy and back working in New York City. Because my mate al stress levels were greatly relaxed, my professional dreams began to reemerge. It was time to think about making them come true.

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We simply cannot get enough love, especially summer love. Maybe it's because summer love feels friendlier when we are walking to the beach carrying a chair, a favorite book and an iPod to keep our own delicious thoughts company. Seriously, don't your olfactory sensibilities become completely engaged with fresh suntan lotion? The smell of Coppertone and I'm 13 all over again.

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For many of us, Mother's Day stirs something deeply loving. For others, ambivalent feelings abide. You see, after thirty-three years in the counseling field and drying the tears off many faces, I can accurately say that not every woman feels she had, was or is the "good-enough mother."

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In my younger days I thought I could control change. I learned, and not quickly I would add, that no one can control or stop change anymore than one can hold back the tides or halt the autumn leaves transforming from green to gold. This brings me to today's topic of change and how to understand it and accept its daily invitation. First, change is inevitable. Think of those individuals you know who, despite painful adversity, have been able to go on even after their world changed and fell down around them. These individuals accept - sometimes hourly - the inescapable reality of change.

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“It's the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary.” – Paulo Coelho Camping this summer, my husband, John, and I were reminded how freeing it is to live simply. We had only the bare necessities with us…food, water, our camping gear and clothes. Living in a simple environment, we were able to appreciate the small things and be more fully present in the moment. Consequently, we felt more joyful and at peace. For example, here is a brief journal entry I wrote after waking up to a gorgeous day in Ouray, Colorado:

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For many people, family gatherings during the Happy Holidays aren't so happy. While most of us enjoy getting together at holidays, mixed feelings of love, anxiety and confusion often collide. But why in the world would family holidays cause conste ation or anxious feelings? Why would family be other than a supreme source of joy? Are not our families the portals in the storm and our safe refuge? Sadly, not always, and the reason is that some families just aren't safe and their communication style is often a big part of the problem.

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Living from the heart, throwing logic and practicality to the wind, and following the voice of love and inspiration takes strength and courage. But, as we break free from the chains of reason to follow our soul’s callings, a universe of possibilities opens up to us. Unforeseen assistance guides us and supports us on our journey. As a result, our hearts open and expand in love and trust. Strength and courage build and soon we find ourselves living the life of our dreams!

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Have you ever had an experience where you said, "Wow, what a coincidence." Maybe it was more. Maybe it was a synchronicity. Let me explain through a Jungian perspective. Carl Jung, the prominent Swiss psychiatrist, believed synchronicity meant 'more than a coincidence.' Jung, the thinker and founder of analytical psychology, connected synchronicities to the bigger world: the collective unconscious.

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Dealing with the holidays while you are grieving for a loved one can be stressful and emotionally exhausting. For most of us the holiday season magnifies the absence of the person lost. You may feel that long-held traditions can never be the same or could be awkward. It can be sad shopping for gifts and seeing something that you know a departed loved one would have really enjoyed. Preparing yourself emotionally for the holidays and evaluating what they mean to you, plus developing a coping strategy before the holiday season can help. Here are a few tips for developing a plan:

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THE STAGES OF GRIEF HEALING Article Series “HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller If you’re reading this article I’ve got good reason to believe parts of you are still flaming with the pain of your own loss. It’s my sincere hope this series of 10 articles will help in giving you a real sense of the possibilities that lie beyond those fires of hurt. I understand your pain because I feel it too. We have a connection because of it.

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THE STAGES OF GRIEF HEALING Article Series “HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller Welcome back to the second in a series of ten special articles of homespun real-life talk about the grief still gripping your life – and the things you can do to step out from under its shadows.

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STAGES OF GRIEF HEALING Article Series “HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller Welcome back to the third in a series of ten special articles of homespun real-life talk about grief – and how you can begin to let go of the pain and torment of this hardest of all life experiences. By now you know exactly what I’m talking about when I call it “pain and torment,” don’t you – because you’ve been living with it while it burns holes not only in your heart, but in seemingly every aspect of your daily life.

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STAGES OF GRIEF HEALING Article Series “HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller Welcome back to the fourth in a series of ten special articles of homespun real-life talk about grief; this time about how to start stretching yourself to believe in something (again) – something beyond the darkness and pain of your experience right now.

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STAGES OF GRIEF HEALING Article Series “HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller Welcome back to the fifth in a series of ten special articles of homespun real-life talk about the issues surrounding grief. Today we’re going to talk about how to find the ‘Light’ of Love and Memories of your lost loved one again, and how you can use this Light to begin to completely change your experience of grief.

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STAGES OF GRIEF HEALING Article Series “HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller Welcome back to the sixth in a series of ten special articles of homespun real-life talk, about what has by now become the issue of healing while you grieve, as opposed to continuing to experience the ravages of outright grief. This will be the first of a three part series within these articles dealing with different aspects of reconnecting to your loved one.

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STAGES OF GRIEF HEALING Article Series “HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real-Life Storyteller Welcome back to the seventh in a series of ten special articles of homespun real-life talk about your grieving process. Today’s topic of ‘Feeling The Touch Of Their Spirit’ is the second of a three part series within these articles, which began with the previous article called ‘Talking To Your Lost Loved One’, and dealing with different aspects of reconnecting to your loved one.

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STAGES OF GRIEF HEALING Article Series “HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real-Life Storyteller Welcome back to the eighth in a series of ten special articles of homespun real-life talk about your grieving process. Today’s topic of ‘Hearing Their Words Of Joy’ is the third of a three part series within these articles, which began with the article called ‘Talking To Your Lost Loved One’, and dealing with different aspects of reconnecting to our loved ones.

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STAGES OF GRIEF HEALING Article Series “HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller Welcome back to the ninth in a series of ten special articles of homespun real-life talk about your grieving process. Today I’d like to talk to you about ‘Knowing The Truth In Your Own Heart’, and how this knowledge can positively affect perceptions about your own healing.

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STAGES OF GRIEF HEALING Article Series “HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”© From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller Welcome to the tenth and final in this series of ten special articles of homespun real-life talk about your grieving process. In this last of the series of ‘Healing Your Grief’ articles, I’d like to draw your attention towards a final vital component of your healing process; that of ‘Your Story – and Telling It Your Way’.

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Let's talk about the four seasons of marriage: Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. Usually we think of marriage as a relationship with our partner but it can also be the state of marriage solely within us called "the inner marriage." The inner marriage is an intimate relationship with ourself. ...

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Millions of people have lost their jobs in this economy so let's talk about managing the stress of a job search. Anyone who is in this situation, or loves someone who is, might consider these six suggestions…. Step One - Do not internalize a job loss or job search into your personal identity. Whether you are a new graduate or a semi-retired person whose 401K was cut in half this year, you are not in this situation because of your personal failure. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reported in May, 2009 that 7.0 million people have been out of work since December 2007 in the US alone.

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It's August, let's talk about your child leaving for college. Yes, I know it brings up many feelings. One minute you're laughing with them at a Blue Light Special, the next minute you're dissolving into tears. The thing about being a parent is that when we finally master one stage of development with our kids, they catapult into the next. Leaving for college is a big transition for a family. For many parents it feels like a little death. In a way it is - death to the original family construct.

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My grandmom was a model for positive psychology and she taught me a valuable lesson: it’s easier catching bees with honey than with vinegar. I was given the name “Mary” because of her and her devotion to The Blessed Mother. My mother, father, brother, sister and I lived upstairs in her roomy old Victorian house until she died in 1957. She did not die alone - her ten living children surrounded her bedside praying the rosary. In my Catholic upbringing, Grandmom’s death was referred to as “a happy death” because she was in the state of grace when God took her back.

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Sitting at my father’s deathbed, watching every breath, wondering if it would be his last, my family and I were totally present and vigilant. We talked to my father as if he could hear us, attempting to comfort him, although we were really comforting ourselves. Already, he was in another world. His eyes were glazed over and his body was becoming rigid. With tears streaming down my face, I whispered to him, “I will always remember you every time I step onto a sailboat.”

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Eager to fill our hungry bellies after a full day of hiking and soaking in the mineral hot springs, John and I sat waiting for our food to arrive. Observing my surroundings, I noticed a woman sitting with her husband text-messaging with her iPhone. The couple appeared to be on vacation. Next, I noticed a man sitting with his wife and two grown daughters. He was also text-messaging while waiting for dinner. At one point, I witnessed him holding his iPhone and text messaging with one hand, while holding his burrito and eating with the other!

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Recently, I joined a group of women to journal, meditate and share about our intentions for the New Year. It was suggested that we come up with one or two words to describe our deepest intention underlying all of our desired outcomes. The words that I chose were…“Joyful Creation.” More than anything, I desire to create from a deep place of joy. Inevitably areas of my life where I have not been creating from joy have quickly been revealed to me.

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Are you someone who has experienced loss? Do you find yourself grieving alone or suppressing your feelings altogether? If so, you may be afraid of burdening friends and family with your grief. Or, perhaps you feel like no one understands what you are going through, so you hide your deepest thoughts and feelings of loss.

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I have talked with countless people who have felt a relief when their loved one died. Relief their loved one was no longer in pain, relief that they didn’t have to visit that nursing home anymore and all it entailed, relief that their loved one is “in a better place.” However, the partner to ...

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The words to the song “it’s the most wonderful time of the year” don’t ring true for everyone. If you’ve recently suffered the loss of a loved one, the holidays can bring sadness and dread to an otherwise cheerful season. n As a funeral service veteran, I’ve ...

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Mary Jane Hurley Brant, M.S., CGP Author of When Every Day Matters: A Mother's Memoir on Love, Loss and Life The month of February focuses our attention on love. Cards are bought, candy is given, kisses abound. What is it about love? We simply cannot get enough of it. "I love you" and "I'm ...

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Fear is big these days and, like wildfire, it spreads easily and quickly. Fear is a primal emotion; it triggers our reptilian (more primitive) brain to fight or flee. When the reptilian brain is engaged it overrides rationality. Therefore, whatever our fear is about - our safety, our ...

Published · 1,262 views · Rated 4.3/5 from 3 votes

Fear is big these days and, like wildfire, it spreads easily and quickly. Fear is a primal emotion; it triggers our reptilian (more primitive) brain to fight or flee. When the reptilian brain is engaged it overrides rationality. Therefore, whatever our fear is about - our safety, our ...

Published · 1,293 views · Rated 4.3/5 from 3 votes

The famous Swiss psychiatrist, Carl G. Jung, said what we deny, fear or don’t address consciously will visit us as fate. I agree and believe, too, if we don’t manifest our intentions, we will manifest our fears. Many people believe therapy is about resolving a crisis or healing a traumatic ...

Published · 3,461 views · Rated 4.3/5 from 3 votes

In our modern day society, distractions are everywhere, vying for our attention, keeping us from what is truly important and our higher purpose. Lately, I have felt more and more overwhelmed by the amount of e-mail that comes through my in-box on a daily basis. By attending to all of this ...In our modern day society, distractions are everywhere, vying for our attention, keeping us from what is truly important and our higher purpose. Lately, I have felt more and more overwhelmed by the amount of e-mail that comes through my in-box on a daily basis.

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When we have lost someone we love, our job, our health, our marriage, or our deepest relationship, we want to feel some compassion coming our way. We want to know that we are going to make it. Here are some ways for your body, your mind, and your spirit to meet every day with ...

Published · 1,376 views · Rated 4.3/5 from 3 votes

“Don't waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson There is a tendency when catastrophic events happen for us ...“Don't waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Surrounded by royal blue water extending beyond the horizon in all directions, no land in sight, I gaze at the path of diamonds dancing on the ocean’s surface. The sun radiating on my skin feels like a warm cashmere sweater. It is August 19, 1998, and I am on my first ocean passage of a ...Surrounded by royal blue water extending beyond the horizon in all directions, no land in sight, I gaze at the path of diamonds dancing on the ocean’s surface. The sun radiating on my skin feels like a warm cashmere sweater.

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There is a powerful vital life force energy that resides within each of us. Like a raging river, this vital energy needs a channel to flow and be fully expressed. When we allow it to move through us for example with our writing, artwork, or music…by expressing our passions, we allow the river of the divine to flow through us. When in the flow, we are in the present moment. Our spirits come alive; we feel at peace and can experience great joy and bliss.

Published · 4,293 views · Rated 3.8/5 from 6 votes

Recently, I found myself feeling anxious and depressed. For several days, I attempted to analyze why I was feeling this way and what I could do to feel better. I questioned, “Would it help to go back to therapy or to get a massage? Maybe I just need to write more.” Feeling uncomfortable, I wanted a quick fix. But, what I found was that the more I resisted how I was feeling, the worse I felt.

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Have you ever felt confused when speaking with someone? He or she might be smiling but you were uncomfortable by how they were acting? Well, it might be a passive-aggressive behavior you are experiencing. Passive-aggressive behavior is a manner of interacting with others in passive ways as, ...

Published · 2,557 views · Rated 4.4/5 from 5 votes

Loss of those we love is our most painful reality. In Christopher Buckley's newest book, Losing Mum and Pup, we come to journey with him in the aftermath of both his parents dying within less than 11 months of one another. We come to understand, more deeply, the forever ache of that loss. The ...

Published · 1,537 views · Rated 2.9/5 from 7 votes

When we have lost someone we love, our job, our health, our marriage, or our deepest relationship, we want to feel some compassion coming our way. We want to know that we are going to make it. Here are some ways for your body, your mind, and your spirit to meet every day with ...

Published · 1,405 views · Rated 4.3/5 from 3 votes

Let's talk about the four seasons of marriage: Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. Usually we think of marriage as a relationship with our partner but it can also be the state of marriage solely within us called "the inner marriage." The inner marriage is an intimate relationship with ourself. ...

Published · 1,472 views · Rated 3.8/5 from 4 votes

Loss causes us to ask the tough questions, “Who am I? Why am I here? What is my purpose? It sends us on a journey of self exploration and discovery. It causes us to question the nature of reality. Who we thought we were is no longer. All that we knew to be true, all of our assumptions about life, are tossed into the air where they float in the void of the unknown, then re-organize and create a new picture…a picture of beauty, richness, color and texture.

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If you find yourself feeling unmotivated, lacking energy for life, grumpy or irritable, you may be depressed. Depression is typically caused by suppressed anger, at the root of which is the feeling of powerlessness. When we give our power away, our creative life force energy becomes stifled and “depressed” and we are no longer in the flow of manifesting abundance. We are unable to be receptive to creative solutions and new possibilities. Imagine a dam, and how it blocks the flow of water. This is what happens to our energy when we suppress our anger.

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Where two rivers joined, I spotted a large dead Ponderosa pine which had fallen down a steep ravine on its side, half of its trunk submerged in the water. Carefully navigating my way down the ravine, I felt excited….This was the first day of my vacation and the tree was the perfect place for me to relax and meditate. As I lay down with my back fully supported by the trunk of the tree and my body soaking up the warmth of the sun, I dangled my feet in the water. The snow melt from the mountains was fresh and the water was freezing. I promptly removed them!

Published · 2,234 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

At a distance we noticed a hawk flying. In the next moment, it headed straight towards us and circled over head. Smiling, I knew that Kyle was with us as we celebrated the 13-year anniversary of his death. We made a ritual of hiking to his tree, a small oak ling; we planted in his honor, a year after he passed. I hadn’t been there in three years, so was happy to see how the tree had filled out and was big enough to provide shade for me and my family, protecting us from the scorching sun.

Published · 3,477 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

I am a hospice social worker and grief therapist. Before I used Emotional Freedom Techniques I spent a lot of hours hoping I was making a difference providing grief support. It’s a proven fact that people who are grieving need to tell their stories so that they can process their grief, but this is slow work. And even though I am skilled in helping someone step through the wilde ess of grief, I often felt like I wasn’t really helping that much. When I started guiding clients to use EFT, all had remarkable releases and faster recovery.

Published · 2,174 views · Rated 4/5 from 1 votes

Most of us are born into a family group. As children we accept our family culture as the way a family is supposed to be. We have no source of reference, so developmentally what we experience in the family is what we assume the whole world experiences. If a child lives with alcoholic parents or parents who suffer from depression or uncontrolled rage, that is the norm. If a child is born into a family where a parent is not emotionally available to them that is their norm. And if a child had a loving parent that anticipated their every need that would be their norm.

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“Discovering your Groove and creating a luscious life is all about allowing for Grace through your next transition.” - Shann Vander Leek

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When you lose someone you love and are grieving, Thanksgiving Day feels burdensome and painful. When a brain tumor took away our precious Katie’s life I dreaded that holiday. For seven years we served no rutabagas because they were Katie’s favorite vegetable. The thought of their seasonal aroma wafting through our home without her in it was too much to bear.

Published · 5,214 views · Rated 5/5 from 2 votes

Hope is defined in the American Heritage Dictionary as, “To wish for (something) with expectation.” This definition works for most of our life; we hope for, love, success family, travel and wonderful experiences. Hope when we are terminally ill is still hope, but the definition does change.

Published · 1,687 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

The holidays can be challenging enough with all of the busyness of the season, but if you’ve experienced a major loss such as the death of a loved one, this time of year can be extremely difficult. Family gatherings where your loved one is not present can leave a huge void. Past memories of times spent together can stir up sadness. You may even experience anxiety, depression and trouble sleeping. Further, you may feel the pressure to get into the spirit of the season even though your heart is not into it.

Published · 2,263 views · Rated 3/5 from 2 votes

The grieving process is natural. Similar to the cycles of the seasons or the ebb and flood of the tides…it is not linear and straightforward, but it comes and goes. At times we may feel good about life…inspired, energized and in our passion. At others we may feel sad, fatigued and depressed. Each of these seasons requires something different from us.

Published · 2,496 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

Surrounded by royal blue water extending beyond the horizon in all directions, no land in sight, I gaze at the path of diamonds dancing on the ocean’s surface. The sun radiating on my skin feels like a warm cashmere sweater. It is August 19, 1998, and I am on my first ocean passage of a life-transforming journey, a journey leading to a more authentic and purposeful life.

Published · 2,166 views · Rated 4.7/5 from 3 votes

While in the grieving process, it may feel as though hope has abandoned you. Depressed, you question your purpose for living. You ask, “Why did this happen? What is the point of it all?” You may have lost hope for living your dreams or don’t even know what they are anymore. Perhaps your loved one was an integral part of living the life you had always imagined. Uninspired, you go through the motions of your daily life without feeling truly alive. The following are helpful keys to re-awaken hope when you no longer feel jazzed about life.

Published · 2,584 views · Rated 5/5 from 2 votes

After the death of someone we love our grief experience and overall healing has everything to do with our relationship to the deceased, the intensity and depth of the love we felt for them and our degree of faith in a hereafter. In the immediate aftermath of a person's death, it's hard to breathe and everything hurts. We feel shattered, bewildered and frightened. Sometimes, however, grief shows us its own timetable and can be delayed or complicated. I experienced a long delay in time sequence when my father died. I was thirteen years old; it was the springtime of my life.

Published · 2,000 views · Rated 4.5/5 from 4 votes

Loyalty is essential for genuine family solidarity. But blind loyalty leads to family dysfunction. A loyal family member is faithful to the family's traditions and honors its obligations. A loyal family member is emotionally present with support and encouragement during success or duress. These unwavering devotions are admirable and observable: just look at how a loyal family member helps another member during an illness, a financial crisis, the breakup of a marriage, death. I admire family loyalty; I believe in it. However, I do not believe in blind family loyalty. Here's why.

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Our roles in life define us. Parent, spouse, student, employee, sibling, and offspring are some examples. Our identity is shaped by these roles.

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Grief is a mysterious creature. It lurks unnoticed in the dark corners of our hearts only to be un-leashed by the simplest of provocations…listening to a song, looking at a picture, watching a movie, a brief thought or memory flashes through our minds reminding us of our loss. All of a sudden, a torrent of tears wells up within and comes tumbling out, unannounced. In amazement, we wonder, “Where did that come from? I thought I was done grieving.” Just when we feel we have grieved all we can, there is still more.

Published · 2,320 views · Rated 5/5 from 3 votes

“Crunch! Crunch! Crunch!” Absolute silence enveloped me except for the sound of my boots on the hard packed snow. I quickly shoved my gloved hands deep into my jacket pockets as I didn’t want my fingers to get frost bitten. With a scarf wrapped tightly around my neck, mouth and nose, and my wool hat on, I was fairly comfortable while walking my dog despite the frigid -8 degree temperature at ten in the morning.

Published · 2,163 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

Cruising on I-90 form Washington back to Colorado, John and I are ready for rest after eight hours of driving. We stop at a campground with easy access to the freeway, just outside of Missoula, Montana. Fortunately, the campground is practically empty. We set up camp among tall ponderosa pines and bushes tucked away near a creek. It is the perfect respite from our long trip. Enjoying the solitude and beauty of our site, we decide to stay an extra day.

Published · 2,342 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

What can I do for someone who is grieving? Is there really anyway a "bystander" can help? Sometimes watching a person suffer the pain of loss is almost unbearable. Often in life it is easier to accept our own suffering that it is to accept the anguish of someone we deeply care about.

Published · 1,508 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

Cruising on I-90 form Washington back to Colorado, John and I are ready for rest after eight hours of driving. We stop at a campground with easy access to the freeway, just outside of Missoula, Montana. Fortunately, the campground is practically empty. We set up camp among tall ponderosa pines and bushes tucked away near a creek. It is the perfect respite from our long trip. Enjoying the solitude and beauty of our site, we decide to stay an extra day.

Published · 1,787 views · Rated 4.5/5 from 2 votes

Discouraged, I thought, “I wish I could afford to go to therapy.” The grief over my last miscarriage and my pet’s illnesses weighed heavy on me. Further, for the past nine years, I had experienced one early pregnancy loss after another. Tired of leaning on my husband and friends for support, I largely dealt with my grief on my own.

Published · 2,391 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

Hope is defined in the American Heritage Dictionary as, “To wish for (something) with expectation.” This definition works for most of our life; we hope for, love, success family, travel and wonderful experiences. Hope when we are terminally ill is still hope, but the definition does change.

Published · 1,412 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

On September 11, 2011, we remember the 10th anniversary of the day when nearly 3,000 victims were killed after two airliners were crashed into the Twin Towers in New York City, another plane hit the Pentagon and a final plane crashed into a field in rural Pennsylvania. This devastating number of causalities included fire fighters, police officers from NYC, the Port Authority, private emergency medical technicians and many paramedics who came to help.

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Sobbing, I exclaimed, “I finally have my life back!” Sitting on a catamaran on a beach at Mission Bay in San Diego last week, my step-mom, sister, her boyfriend and I took time out to celebrate my brother, Kyle’s life on the anniversary of his death. He had been gone for twelve years now. We talked about what his life might be like if Cystic Fibrosis hadn’t ended it at the early age of fifteen. Would he be married? What type of work would he be doing? What type of person would he be?

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Thoughtful sympathy inspirational gifts combine spiritual support with encouragement in times of grief. They place an emphasis on celebrating the life of the deceased and challenge us to move on to honor our loved ones with courage and hope. In times of grief, it is important to balance support and comfort with hope and encouragement. What constitutes inspiration will vary with the individual and takes into consideration the person’s world view and value system.

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Unique personalized sympathy gifts express timely thoughtfulness to a bereaved person. They become treasured mementos of the life of a loved one who has passed on. There are a number of ways to personalize a gift. You can incorporate a photo, have an item engraved, or use a particularly meaningful item to the griever. Engraved Items

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Many are mou ing the death of Elizabeth Edwards. I would like to share some thoughts of my own about why we are gripped by her life's story. I believe Elizabeth Edwards embodies two archetypes: the mother and the hero. I will focus on the hero archetype believing it is the more prominent. Just as Odysseus was asked to leave his routine life because something serious occurred, we also may be called to do something heroic.

Published · 2,294 views · Rated 3.3/5 from 14 votes

There is something wonderfully reflective about a new year: it's another chance to get it right. At the beginning of each calendar year I separate my life into five important areas: physical, emotional, professional, familial and spiritual. I analyze honestly how I'm doing in each category - well, of course I do; it's my business! Today let me help you to analyze your life.

Published · 1,872 views · Rated 5/5 from 4 votes

I suppose my mother had something to do with me loving animals. From the time I was five, she was bringing home creatures small enough to go undetected in our Brooklyn apartment: turtles, tortoises, and a half-moon parrot with whom I bonded so deeply that the memories of having to give him up (I had severe allergies) still fly at me like unwelcome shards of glass. I remember crying in the back seat of the car, my father double-parked with the engine running while my mother returned the bird to the pet shop.

Published · 1,508 views · Rated 3.5/5 from 2 votes

I am currently enrolled in a 16 hour Hospice volunteer training program with the intent to serve as a Reiki and pet therapy volunteer. The first six hours of training consisted of five units covering the dying process, volunteer parameters, caregiver roles, special populations, and legal and organizational procedures.

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Sympathy words, comforting and personalized, make your expressions of support to the bereaved meaningful and supportive. In a situation of bereavement, it is important to have more to say than worn out clichés. Now you can choose from a variety of sympathy quotes, phrases and other ideas to convey your message of condolence. Sympathy words are critical to an overall comforting presence in the grief experience.

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In my younger days I was naive enough to think I could control change. I've learned, but not quickly enough, that no one can control or stop change. And, here is an interesting little fact: Charles Darwin believed that those who survive are the people who can adapt to ongoing change. They are not necessarily the most intelligent or even the strongest people, but they are the survivors. That thought of survival brings me to today's topic of change and how to understand it a little better.

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When you open yourself to love, you open yourself to loss. When you suffer the loss of someone you love, you experience the painful emotion we call grief because it's a natural response to loss. Yet, to the person going through this afflictive emotion, the experience feels overwhelming because death is a direct blow to our souls.

Published · 1,778 views · Rated 4.3/5 from 3 votes

Ever wonder about how to choose a therapist? Today I would like to share my thoughts on this important question. I believe a client can feel more understood when the therapist has clinical experience with the situation the client is bringing to therapy. And, if the therapist has the same personal experience, even better. This implies that the client knows what conce is bringing them into a therapist's office. But if the client doesn't know, an intuitive therapist can quickly assess and understand what is causing the pain in the client's life.

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Is there life after death? As one who has experienced the searing loss of a loved one, I have many times pondered about what happens when one dies. Questions I’ve asked include: does a soul go to “heaven” or somewhere else; can we still communicate with a person who has died, even though his/her physical body is gone; and are we being looked after by the souls (or angels) of our lost friend or family member?

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The darkness I refer to is the painful and life-draining wreckage left after the loss of someone or something that is deeply significant to us. The wreckage is all the "what ifs","I wish", "If only","I should have/shouldn't haves" that remains and keeps repeating itself over and over in our hearts and minds. It is every word,r

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Recovering from grief after a significant emotional loss is hard enough without the added pain when the death is the result of murder, suicide, or a disease such as AIDS. The feelings of being emotionally, mentally, or even socially isolated from the people and events around us,usually experienced by a griever, are compounded when the loved one dies at the hands of another, by her/his own hands, or from a socially stigmatized disease. Family and friends are often fearful of what others might think or say, or ashamed of the circumstances of the love one's death.

Published · 3,808 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

Balance is a state of equilibrium for which we each strive, not just in relationships but in all aspects of our life. Envision yourself with your feet planted on a narrow plank atop an oversized ball. With your arms spread out and your legs flexed to spring into action, you attempt to keep your balance. Perhaps, for a few moments at a time, you actually are perfectly still and in balance. The rest of the time, however, you expend a lot of energy wavering back and forth trying to rebalance.

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During difficult economic times, there is a tendency to have doubts and conce s about one’s future. Past disappointments and perceived failures can bring fears, doubts, and frustrations roaring to the surface to confuse and complicate our present situation. The seeds of joy, success, love, and abundance are found in R.E.S.P.E.C.T., and we must not let our past interfere with our present and future goals.

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No one can know the depth of despair to which a person may sink upon contemplation of suicide. Possibly, the black hole in which one finds him/herself gets deeper and darker as the days go by. Soon, even the smallest sliver of light is blocked from view. And then -- instead of being frightening -- the darkness becomes comforting and safe. It cradles and protects the person from all outside forces – from life and all the decisions to be made, both large and small. Ete al sleep and “supposed” freedom from worry beckon the suicide until he can no longer resist, and life is snuffed out.

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A woman was shopping when an adorable little statue caught her eye. It was fun, and she had to have it! Once at home, she examined the purchase more closely and realized it was a metaphor for her life. She had bought a “Woo” doll, and the attached tag read: “The Woo is a benevolent force reappearing to remind us that a POSITIVE attitude is essential and that anything IS possible. Make it happen!” In the game of life, this woman had been dealt cards from both sides of the deck. Today, she leads a fulfilling life overflowing with friends and family.

Published · 1,826 views · Rated 2/5 from 5 votes

In 2009, I opened up my business as a grief and relationship coach and started to write and self-publish books. Unfortunately, no one had ever heard of me or was aware of my services, and there didn’t appear to be any reason why others would consider me an authority or an expert on these subjects. This is a common issue encountered by most entrepreneurs when starting a new business. And, to be successful, it is an important one to address and then overcome. As with anything worthwhile, it is not an ove ight process.

Published · 1,366 views · Rated 2/5 from 1 votes

Every event in life is neutral, and it is you and your response which gives meaning to the event. So, when you ask God, or some higher power, "Why did this terrible event happen to me?" you are probably perceiving the "event" as a negative one. When you lose a loved one to death or have a child facing seemingly insurmountable challenges, it is very difficult to step back, be objective, and see the ultimate good that may result from the situation. Instead, the world feels as if it is crashing down without relief in sight.

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…and first step to recovering from any life-altering losses Grief is the normal and natural reaction to any major loss. Loss is a part of living and a great many of us are facing losses due to health and financial issues, deaths of family and friends, and painful relationship breakups, whether ...

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Can anyone truly define love? I’m not sure because love is so deep a feeling, experienced in a variety of ways, that it makes it extremely difficult to assign words to this elusive emotion. Consequently, love is sometimes better addressed with actions rather than with words. Love can also present itself in disguise and, therefore, not be recognizable at first glance. For example, telling someone the truth is a form of love, even though it may sting a bit in its delivery.

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In the current economic climate, if you’re an entrepreneur or simply a business person, you have probably been urged to start networking and using social media in order to enhance the success of your business. If you are nervous about commencing these types of activities, be assured that they are nothing to fear. If you can carry on a conversation or write a few intelligible sentences, you can quickly become an expert and become a networking king or queen!

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Who hasn’t heard or said themselves “I just don’t know what to say.” Or “I feel so helpless – there’s nothing I can do!!” Well there ARE things that you can do or say to help those in pain due to the death of a loved one. We can help, and not just in little ways, and it makes a tremendous difference to those we see in pain. Here are a few points to consider when you are trying to help someone who is grieving:

Published · 1,874 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

If you were given the choice between diving freely into the darkest depths of the ocean fully equipped with all of the proper gear you would need to handle anything you might encounter OR being slowly dragged down by an eighty pound anchor that is chained to your legs while you frantically tread water trying to keep your head above water, which would you choose?

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Pleasure is the flower that passes; remembrance, the lasting perfume. ~Jean de Boufflers

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Baby Boomers are in for a shock!!! We may think that we are prepared for the sadness that will accompany our parents’ death. In fact we are usually totally unprepared for this life experience. To lose the people in your life that have always been there and know you the best is a life-altering event. I was sure that I understood the pain that would accompany the eventual death of my mother. Professionally I was a nurse and involved in palliative care and bereavement counselling so I was sure that I was prepared. I was wrong!!

Published · 1,447 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

The workplace is like your second family to many people. Let’s face it, some people spend more time at work than with their immediate families!! After my mother died I don’t think that I was a very good employee. Of course, I couldn’t show it. You have to try to act like your old “normal” self. That in itself is exhausting.

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If you are dating or planning to marry a widow or widower, here are some suggestions and thoughts to consider. LEARN ALL ABOUT GRIEF Do some research about grief, read books and talk to others in similar situations. Know what to expect on anniversaries, birthdays and other days that were special to your new partner and his/her late spouse. Being aware and understanding about another person's feelings allows you to be gracious and sensitive to your new partner. TALKING ABOUT A LATE SPOUSE: SHOULD YOU ASK QUESTIONS?r

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Valentine’s Day -- a double edged day that reflects the natural duality of this planet. While it can be a wonderful day for lovers to renew their commitment to each other, the single community usually dreads the onslaught of the media hype that surrounds the day. Let’s take a hard look at Valentine’s Day and its true meaning.

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Grieving Through the Holiday Season

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Letting Go and Moving On After experiencing a major loss, it is sometimes difficult to move on with your life. Before you can look ahead to a brighter future, you need to learn to let go of your painful past. The loss can involve a break up with someone you care deeply about, a job loss, the death of a pet, or the death of a loved one. Whatever you do, don’t give up on the idea that the future can be hopeful.r

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After the loss of a spouse – whether from death or divorce – dating and remarriage may be considered. However, this time around, it is not just about you! Your children will play a very big role in the next partner you choose. The adaptability of your children will also determine if the relationship will be able to survive the stress of a blended family. To increase your odds of a successful remarriage, bear in mind the following guidelines.

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GRIEF AND STRESS People who are grieving will experience a wide range of emotions. Anxiety caused by the stress of grief sometimes comes as an unexpected event. People are prepared to feel sadness, but anxiety seems a little more foreign. In order to help validate this very real experience and emotion, I will list seven causes that commonly create stress and anxiety during the grief period.

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The Suicide of a Loved One How to resolve the feelings of guilt and regretr If only I had made more of an effort to engage my brother Henry more at our family Thanksgiving get-together. If only I had called him more often. If only I could have understood what was going on in his tortured mind. IF ONLY, IF ONLY! Regrets about things that I could no longer change echoed through my mind.

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DEALING WITH THE STRESS OF GRIEF How you respond to the stress associated with grief (see my previous article entitled “Grief and Stress”) is directly related to how well you are able to identify your stressors and respond to them in a healthy manner. In this article I will identify seven strategies that we can use to help minimize the impact of stress on our lives during the period of grief.

Published · 1,939 views

When faced with grief we often ask, “When will I begin to feel better? When will I return to normal? When will I be able to breathe again? When will I achieve some closure?” The idea of closure in our culture is one of tidy endings, a sense of completion. The reason we long for closure, of course, is because we would like to be rid of this pain. We would like to shut out the sad, confused, desperate, angry feelings from our lives, putting all of this pain behind us so that we can feel joy again.r

Published · 3,520 views

Caregivers and family members often ask whether they should tell a loved one with Alzheimer's Disease or other dementia about a death in the family, and how they can help them grieve. Although much has been written about the profound grief of caregivers and other family members throughout the course of the successive losses associated with dementia, surprisingly little has been written about bereavement in the dementia patient.r

Published · 6,503 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

MIND THE GAP: LIVING IN THE SPACE BETWEEN LOSS AND HEALING One of the most difficult phases in any life transition is the space of the unknown between a loss or change, and healing or new beginning. All life changes, even positive ones, entail a sense of loss or grief. For example, there is a sense of loss in giving up addictive behaviors like cigarette smoking, despite the fact that the change is a positive one. Even the change of getting a better job or promotion entails loss -- you might be giving up security, relationships and the comfort of the known in making such a change.

Published · 2,110 views · Rated 4/5 from 3 votes

TEENS AND GRIEF: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS Adolescence is one of the most difficult and chaotic stages in life, and is widely recognized as a particularly difficult time for dealing with the death of a parent or other loved one.

Published · 2,810 views · Rated 3/5 from 3 votes

One of the most difficult phases in any life transition is the space of the unknown between a loss or change, and healing or new beginning. All life changes, even positive ones, entail a sense of loss or grief. For example, there is a sense of loss in giving up addictive behaviors like cigarette smoking, despite the fact that the change is a positive one. Even the change of getting a better job or promotion entails loss -- you might be giving up security, relationships and the comfort of the known in making such a change.

Published · 1,610 views

The intense and painful experiences of grief are generally considered "normal." However, when those experiences are extremely distressing, unduly interfere with day-to-day functioning or do not subside to a manageable level over time, the bereaved may be experiencing complicated or traumatic grief.

Published · 5,970 views · Rated 3.7/5 from 3 votes

I had the opportunity to work with the practices of mindfulness meditation after my beloved cat and soul companio Lily died. After experiencing Lily’s death, I had a fleeting urge to go unconscious – sleep, eat, drink wine, whatever. As a grief counselor and mindfulness meditation ...

Published · 3,977 views

In my work with grieving children and adolescents, it is important for me to keep in mind that the child’s age and stage of development at the time of the loved one’s death will strongly influence the ways in which the child reacts and adapts to the loss. An understanding of the child’s ...

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Helen Keller has said that “the only way to get to the other side is to go through the door.” This is certainly true in the work of transforming grief into healing and growth. This process involves allowing ourselves to feel the intense emotions of grief – sadness, ...

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Many of us, especially those on the spiritual path, tend to look at anger as an entirely negative emotion. However, anger used mindfully can be extremely positive, powerful and ultimately healing. Anger is simply energy, and we always have a choice as to what to do with it. Dzogchen Ponlop, in his recent book Rebel Buddha (2010) aptly states:r

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When I hear the clients in my psychotherapy and grief counseling practice talk in black and white terms, or view their options in terms of extremes, I am reminded of the Buddhist concept of the Middle Way. When the Buddha was asked how one should meditate, he responded "not too tight, not too loose." He analogized this to a string instrument, like a lute: If the strings of the lute are too tight, they will break, and if the strings of the lute are too loose, they won't play.

Published · 1,744 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

Published · 1,744 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

Many of us, especially those on the spiritual path, tend to look at anger as an entirely negative emotion. However, anger used mindfully can be extremely positive, powerful and ultimately healing. Anger is simply energy, and we always have a choice as to what to do with it. Dzogchen Ponlop, in his recent book Rebel Buddha (2010) aptly states:r

Published · 1,853 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

They are everywhere you go--at work, in the family, among friends, at the church and synagogue. They are difficult, annoying, irritating people. You want to avoid them, but no matter where you go, thee they are. The fact is, they are playing their part PERFECTLY by allowing you to figure out ...

Published · 3,127 views

Never would I have dreamed that nearly sixteen-years after my own miscarriage, I'd be the author of a book about miscarriage, healing and recovery, and host of a website which helps women, and their families, who have suffered either one miscarriage-or more than one. Yet, here I am, reading ...

Published · 893 views

There is a tendency in our society to talk about healing loss, like it is a physical wound. It reduces loss to nothing more than an illness to be cured. Our objective is to heal it as quickly as possible and get back to normal. This approach has failed us in our understanding of loss and made us miss the real nature of loss. It has created a society that is reluctant to express loss and by doing so we heal and keep the loss inside of us, instead of letting it go.

Published · 1,657 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

Loss throws us into a world of unknown emotions. Some of which we maybe had never experienced before. Understanding these emotions can be a key factor in transforming through loss. Yet it can be hard to accept some feelings. It requires us to be brutally honest with ourselves and acknowledge that there are no right or wrong emotions, there just are. If we do not acknowledge them they stay forever locked within us becoming a burden that limit our ability to truly live.

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Creating or strengthening our spirituality can have untold beneficial effects upon us after loss. By spirituality I do not mean religion. The two are very separate. Religion is based around organised belief by an outside body. Spirituality in contrast, is individual belief created by searching deep within one’s self.

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When we experience loss we immediately turn to our friends and family, expecting them to be able to help us. All too often, we are left disappointed. Friends don’t know what to say and can find it difficult to be around us. They sometimes have no understanding of what we are going through. With family support, all too often there are other pre-existing issues underlying our relationships that can make it difficult to get the support we need.

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(excerpts from the book Holiday Grief: How to Cope with Stress, Anxiety and Depression After a Loved One’s Death) Since I’ve been involved in helping grieving children for most of my career, it is very important to me to help you learn about the needs of young people when the holidays and significant events come around during the year. We may think that they don’t know what’s going on, but I’m here to tell you unequivocally, that they are very keenly aware of your suffering, your struggles both emotionally and perhaps financially, and your anxiety, stress and even depression.

Published · 1,455 views · Rated 3/5 from 2 votes

Greetings! As we begin to become friends, you will notice that I'm very frank with my language because I want you to heal and not go around the same emotional mountain for many years needlessly the way I had. The reason for that is so that you will learn from my experience since I didn't have others to speak into my life at the time. So I thought the very first thing we should discuss is the question most people say when something tragic happens...WHY????

Published · 1,590 views · Rated 2/5 from 2 votes

Katherine glanced at the oversized banner promoting 25% off all men’s wear. “That’s one department I won’t need to shop in this season,” she thought. A suffocating feeling soon overwhelmed her. The holiday music seemed louder, the decorations larger, and the ...Katherine glanced at the oversized banner promoting 25% off all men’s wear. “That’s one department I won’t need to shop in this season,” she thought. A suffocating feeling soon overwhelmed her.

Published · 1,420 views

Do you ever wonder why things you try just do not work out? Or you have an idea, but never finish. Here is an answer. It starts with sounding like a tongue twister. Today I am going to share some secrets kept secret in the movie The Secret, based on the Law of Attraction. Guess what the secret is? If you guessed keeping your dreams a secret until they are ready to give birth you were right.

Published · 1,849 views · Rated 4/5 from 1 votes

I can still remember the call that told me my younger brother was dead. It was from my grandmother. Funnily enough I’d been contemplating that my grandparents were getting old and that I needed to prepare myself for their death. I never expected that I would receive a call from them to tell me that my brother had crashed his car into a lamp post on the way home from a concert and was killed immediately. He was 17 – I was 22.

Published · 1,291 views

Published · 1,444 views · Rated 4/5 from 1 votes

Spring is wonderful season for planting the seeds of abundance. Flowers bloom in abundant colors, gardens yield fresh yummy vegetables and the sun shines for outdoor adventures with family and friends. Abundance truly is many things to many people. Have you ever seen someone do the money dance? You know, where they take their arms and swing them in circular motions, all while singing, “I am in the money, I am in the money.” The money dance makes you smile and resonates happy energy. Everything in life has the possibility of becoming a dance. The dance you choose is up to you.

Published · 2,824 views · Rated 3.8/5 from 6 votes

No matter what degrees it is outside, spring is a marker in time. Every season has its message. We think of spring as the time to clean out closets, get rid of the old, to prepare for the new.

Published · 1,471 views · Rated 4/5 from 2 votes

"Sadness flies on the wings of the morning and out of the heart of darkness comes light" Jean Giraudoux Searching for the right words to shed light after the tragedy in Tucson, I remembered a book I wrote after the Columbine Shootings, titled Another Parent For Love a book on answers for ending school violence. This week I’ve selected parts of the book to share with you, in hopes that it may shed some light.

Published · 1,351 views

We all want to be happy! Mad can sound harsh, but in actuality, feeling upset, in a bad mood, or depression all have roots in being mad. It is nothing to be ashamed of because actually it is normal, as we all have felt mad at one time or another. Most of us will experience a crisis or loss in our lifetime, and how we learn to deal with it, will determine our future happiness and success.

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An Australian Y-Genner graduate, Alex Haigh, recently coined the term “Phubbing.” I guarantee that even if you don’t yet know what it means, you’re all ready phed-up with it! Phubbing is the anti-social act of someone having their face glued to a smartphone rather than the person they are supposedly with. In other words, something 99.9% of us are guilty of doing: snubbing our loved ones for something more interesting on social media via our phones.

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Thanks to Facebook and other social media sites, when we’re feeling blue, we can get a much needed ego boost online. But, how healthy is it to seek exte al approval in this way? While it might momentarily lift our spirits, does it really give us what we need; self-esteem and a strong sense of self? And what happens when we don’t get the praise we’ve come to expect?

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This acronym has recently made news headlines and is increasingly gracing the landing pages of popular psychology and health sites. It’s continually bandied about on daytime TV and teens seem to Tweet it more often than the @ sign. But what does FOMO really mean? I don’t mean literally. We’ve got that covered: FOMO is a term coined to describe the Fear of Missing Out in relation to what one sees (or perceives) others are doing, particularly via social networks, or the nagging sensation that there is something happening somewhere that you are not a part of.

Published · 1,981 views

Aya-Whatta? Was probably what you’d have said a few years ago when reading this, but this previously mysterious Amazonian plant medicine known as Ayahuasca has, in the past few years, hit the mainstream hard. Until pretty recently, this off-beat beverage seemed appealing only to a few brave anthropologists, psychedelic explorers such as the McKenna brothers, and a few pioneering individuals who, for whatever reason, fumbled and stumbled their way into the path of a Shaman in the jungles of Peru, Brazil or Equador. But not anymore.

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Guy Fawks night is the British equivalent of the 4th July—well almost. Fireworks certainly spill into the night skies above every town in the country. Held on the 5th November its usually a chilly night with spectators wrapped up in hats, scarves, gloves and coats, grateful for the raging bonfire that is typically the centerpiece of the night, as they huddle together, necks craning to Ahhhh and Oooooh at the pyrotechnic display of twinkling lights overhead. I remember one of these festive nights in particular.

Published · 3,329 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

In working with many bereaved people I have found the basic foundation for coping well with the vast array of losses we all have to suffer through, lies within. Yes, we all need each other or we could hardly bear the pain. But most important of all, we need our own inner strength to deal with it ...

Published · 1,056 views

Is the anger over the way your loved one was treated by the medical community eating you up? Or, are you angry at those who should have helped you in the last days of your loved one’s life, but were nowhere to be found? How can you reduce the intensity of your anger and then let it go? There are ...

Published · 3,565 views

It’s Okay to Crynn“Give sorrow words, the grief that does not speak knits up the o’er wrought heart and bids it break.” Shakespeare A grieving infant, child or adolescent needs help establishing appropriate expressions and outlets for grief. What is grief to one child or adolescent may not be ...

Published · 1,896 views

Grief is a strange emotion. It is a pain that bores down to our souls when a spouse or child, mother or father, sibling or friend is taken from our life. It is a storm of tears and anger, a string of unanswered questions. It is what remains after funeral and memorial services, when we are ...

Published · 1,636 views

Peer pressure is not isolated to one age group, everyone needs to belong or feel connected to his or her own age group. Kids and adults are partnered to peer pressure. Teens like adults are influenced by their peer group. This is normal behavior and is modeled for teenagers by the adults around ...

Published · 14,849 views · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

Every year over one million children in the United States under the age of seventeen are involved in their parents’ divorce. Separation and divorce can be emotionally overwhelming, painfully challenging, and distressfully traumatic. How parents, extended family members, helpful family ...

Published · 5,221 views

Grief through the eyes of kids By: Yvonne Butler Clark, M.A. How do we talk to kids about grief? Our kids today are bombarded with loss and separation. The death of parent, sibling, or friend, separation from a parent in the military, grandparent parenting, foster care and/or incarceration. ...

Published · 1,843 views

“What you resist persists” is an old psychological saying that is especially applicable to anyone when mou ing the death of a loved one. In other words, trying to repress feelings, “be strong” or pretend you are doing well when you are not, will guarantee that pain will spill out in unexpected ...

Published · 3,138 views

Has it been weeks since the death of your loved one and you still feel sluggish with low energy levels? Are you hesitant in making decisions? Confused? Is hope draining out of you and all you think about is a bleak future? It is not unusual to suffer physical and emotional depletion when mou ing. Adapting to the loss of a loved one is always a major challenge and calls for a new awareness and the development of new routines without the presence of the beloved. We all must meet change by changing.

Published · 1,958 views · Rated 2/5 from 2 votes

Are you in a state of confusion? Have you made the decision that you will get through this loss? Are you confronting your loss and fears? If not, why not? Peace of mind is the ultimate goal of good grief so that one can begin the work of reinvesting in a life in the absence of the physical ...

Published · 1,736 views

Has someone you trust told you a secret about your deceased loved one that has added immeasurably to your grief? Where you going through his/her papers and found some information about the past that has stunned you? Has evidence of physical or emotional infidelity turned up upon reading old ...

Published · 1,770 views

Pain, whether emotional or physical, is a condition of existence. No matter what your station in life, you are bound to confront relationship separations, work conflicts, medical difficulties, or the death of a loved one. No one escapes these circumstances of life and the pain they ...

Published · 5,709 views

Thoughts and beliefs—both of which are choices you make—are the underpinnings of the attitude you take toward loss. They are the major factors in how you will cope with your loss and to what extent you will experience additional and unnecessary suffering. Regrettably, many of us have been ...

Published · 1,610 views

You can reduce unnecessary suffering when grieving by limiting the time you either knowingly or unknowingly isolate yourself. Self-imposed isolation is a common response to the death of a loved one. Although some alone time is necessary during all grief work, the bereaved all too often withdraw ...

Published · 6,862 views

Unavoidable suffering is a condition of existence, a part of the mystery that shrouds every life. It is usually the result of broken attachments to those we love or the loss of something cherished. It cannot be prevented because death and perpetual change are uncontrollable givens of living. On ...

Published · 3,448 views

Meaning affects everything we do; and equally important it affects the body and its physiology as attested to by the many examples of body-mind relationships, such as the placebo effect. Finding meaning in death is not always easy, and sometimes it is hard to find. However, the search for ...

Published · 5,580 views

Grief is a natural response to the loss of something valued. Myths are falsehoods parading as gospel truths. Combined they lead to much excessive emotional and physical pain when mou ing. If you mou according to myth it means you have adopted false beliefs about grief and how to cope with ...

Published · 1,487 views

Grief is an integral part of life and living. Everyone grieves, although not everyone mou s. That is, not everyone goes public with their grief. They have been taught to keep it to themselves because it is much too personal. Consequently, silent or suppressed grief tends to perpetuate many ...

Published · 1,498 views

Much of our behavior in adult life is based on the examples we were exposed to as children. Many of these examples were backed up with admonitions, directions and information that were put forth as “truth,” the way it really is. This information becomes emblazoned on the walls of our ...

Published · 1,107 views

Those mou ing the death of a loved one are often told to find closure, let go of the deceased loved one, and go on with their lives. For most, this admonition is tantamount to saying forget about the person. In truth, no one ever forgets the beloved and never wants to since our memories and our ...

Published · 1,722 views

Have you wondered why your grief seems to be going on longer than you thought it would? It could be that you have some unfinished business with the deceased, or you have some anger you have buried and don’t want to deal with. However, one of the most common causes for prolonged grief is the ...

Published · 1,522 views

Is it a bit unusual to have a conversation with a deceased loved one? Do many people do this? And are there any benefits to such action? What will my friends think if they find out? These questions are not uncommon in the thoughts of those mou ing the death of a loved one. These questions are the result of a scientifically oriented culture.

Published · 8,389 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

Fear is arguably the most common hidden emotion that mou ers delay confronting. The reason is obvious: no one wants to appear weak. Of course, that is inbred societal nonsense that we have all been subjected to since fear is an expected response whenever we feel threatened by circumstances that have to be faced.r

Published · 1,616 views · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

Do you feel stuck in your grief? Has it been months since your loved one died and you feel you should be feeling better? Do others close to the deceased seem to be adapting more quickly than you? Has the pain gotten worse? These are questions with very individual answers. They may or may not indicate outside assistance is necessary.

Published · 5,398 views

Among the misunderstandings people have concerning grief is that they think it is the reaction only to the death of a loved one. But we experience a sense of loss when something or someone that belonged to us and was of immense value has been taken from our lives, leaving in their place a void that we are sometimes unable to fill...not only to death. If you find yourself grieving over any the following transitions it is just natural and you need to pay attention to your feelings. Losses you may be experiencing: • Divorce or break-up.r • Loss of health.r • Loss of a job?r

Published · 1,535 views · Rated 5/5 from 1 votes

I f you are going through a divorce or a romantic break-up you may be experiencing many emotions....from anger, fear, disappointment, hopelessness toward the future, sadness, to grief (this emotion sometimes is not recognized, but it can be real). In many cases divorce is not a devastating loss, on the contrary you may feel happy or relieved, but in most cases, all of a sudden finding oneself not being part of a couple hits us hard and sometimes we ask, • How was I wrong?r • What mistake did I make?r • Could I have done something different?r

Published · 1,940 views · Rated 3.7/5 from 9 votes

Believe in New Beginnings.... When we face a difficult transition or a loss we may think our life is over....that we don't have any hope, or that we don't have options. My purpose in life is to help people embrace hope and make them believe in new beginnings. Because...this is possible. I have gone through so many losses in my life when I thought my life was over...and I found resources inside myself to keep on going and believe there was a tomorrow.r

Published · 1,762 views · Rated 1/5 from 1 votes

In life, we develop habits that shape the quality of life. These habits can be good or bad and may create behavioral patterns. How do we know which these habits are? We just need to take a look into our responses to situations regarding our relationships, transitions, goals, or life in general. Do we tend to repeat the same behavior over and over? Do we wonder why we tend to do the same thing even knowing it is not conducive to a positive outcome?

Published · 1,718 views · Rated 3/5 from 1 votes

What Does Success Mean to You? By Ligia M. Houben, MA, CG-C, CT, CH, ACCPr Life Transitions Consultant and Coachr Certified Grief Counselor Professional Speaker-Author "Success is hard work disguised as good luck."rn-Julio C. Martínez A. When you hear the word "success" what comes to your mind? To be wealthy? To excel in your career? To have peace of mind?

Published · 2,035 views · Rated 2.5/5 from 2 votes

Abstract In order to be an excellent coach one has to acquire valuable skills to provide the best service to the client. It is my purpose, with this paper, to introduce the concept of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) as an effective tool in coaching, for both the client and the coach. Many trainers, managers, and teachers use the principles of NLP to promote personal growth as it offers a framework which empowers the person to be the most he or she can be.

Published · 3,542 views · Rated 2.5/5 from 2 votes

This article is about a brand new book called "Success is a State of Mind" (available at www.mymeaningfullife.com") and it is a compilation of interviews of people who have made a difference in the lives of others. Each person has a unique way of interpreting success....and we have all the ...

Published · 4,041 views

In life we encounter many transitions. Some of them involve losses and therefore grief. But….what is grief? It is the expression of our suffering when someone or something dear to us is no longer at our side. So what happens to us? Is it normal to grieve? For how long? Although I would ...

Published · 1,804 views

“Christ died for our sins in accordance with the scriptures, and that he was buried, nand that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the scriptures.” Corinthians 15: 3-4 Human ...

Published · 7,269 views

Be strong, time heals, move on, are phrases that we may hear when we suffer a loss and may hinder our grieving process. Because grief is the normal expression of a loss, but it is not easily recognized in society, we may internalize some of these messages which could interfere with our healing process because we learn to suppress our pain. This message of denying one’s pain may come, with the best intention, from a person with authority, such as a parent, a doctor, or even a religious leader. It is as though we are not allowed to grieve and we bury all those feelings inside of us.

Published · 3,634 views · Rated 4/5 from 1 votes

As a private counselor and a training/education consultant,my website provides an overview of services, resources, frequently asked questions, training topics, inspirational pages, and additional agencies that serve children, teens, and families coping with illness, grief, and life transition.

doallthegood.com · Published

As counselor and consultant, this site provides an overiew of services, trainings,frequently asked questions, resources, and inspiration for children, teens, and adults. There are also links to other agencies that provide services to children and families coping with illness, grief, and crisis.

doallthegood.com · Published

I talk about loss of all kinds: death, divorce, pet loss, illness, realtionship changes, loss of values and self-worth, and mnay more. I invite grievers to heal and recover from their losses.I am available for short-term and long-term grief recovery assitance, in person or by phone.

yourgriefmatters.com · Published

My book connects grievers to Biblical stories which illustrate the stages of grief recovery. Each chapter thus connects to our personal story of loss, and encourages us to persevere and move forward along our own life-journey.

andgodcreatedhope.com · Published

When someone dies, emotions take over, and details of what comes next, are often forgotten. This booklet clearly and succintly tells you exactly what you need to to do from the day of death to the first yahrtzeit (aniniversary of death).

whendeathvisitsajewishhome.com · Published

Counseling for Loss was set up for the bereavement community. It contains articles, books and other helpful information. It is updated regularly.

counselingforloss.com · Published

Counseling For Wellness, established in 1993, is a group of experienced, caring practitioners including licensed professional clinical counselors, social workers, and licensed professional counselors who have joined together to provide quality counseling enabling clients to build a brighter future.

counselingforwellness.com · Published

Describes Mary Jane Hurley Brant's psychological background, blogs, her interests, numerous published articles, philosophies and how to get in touch with her. Links to her recently published book by Simple Abundance Press on Amazon.

maryjanehurleybrant.com · Published · 11 views · Rated 3.1/5 from 18 votes

A website that has articles, information and links to topics that relate to grief. It also includes information about grief in the workplace and the introduction chapter of the book, Baby Boomers Face Grief - Survival and Recovery. Direct access to the author is available on the site.

boomergrief.com · Published · 4 views · Rated 3.8/5 from 4 votes

This blog/website is based on my two published books and offers short articles to help us see ourselves as we really are and not as we think we are based on our past. It is an inspirational and refreshing way to see ourselves and our environment.

http · Published · 3 views · Rated 3.2/5 from 6 votes

This site offers resources for grievers and those seeking inner peace. Ashley Davis (Prend) Bush is a psychotherapist and the author of "Transcending Loss" and "Shortcuts to Inner Peace: 70 Simple Paths to Everyday Serenity"

ashleydavisbush.com · Published · 5 views · Rated 3.5/5 from 8 votes

Grief support group and fan page for the book "Transcending Loss: Understanding the Lifelong Impact of Grief and How to Make it meaningful"

facebook.com · Published · 4 views · Rated 3.7/5 from 6 votes

A website to provide comfort to individuals that have experienced the loss of a loved one by suicide. Site includes location and date information on Central Florida area support groups.

halosflorida.org · Published · 14 views · Rated 4/5 from 11 votes

Helping women improve their lives and relationships through my Radical Heart Connection program

brittaneinast.com · Published · 6 views · Rated 3.6/5 from 8 votes

Helping professional grief facillitators unplug and enjoy freedom from Client Empathy Overwhelm. Transition to coaching augment your current practice and have the leisure time you have planned for and protect your retirment savings. Visit us at http://happinessbeyondgrief.com and click on the Coaches Lounge.

happinessbeyondgrief.com · Published · 24 views · Rated 2.3/5 from 18 votes

Coach Louise Rouse, Professional Coach, Author, Speaker, New Thought Leader, and Metaphysical Teacher, master of the Law of Attraction and Grief Expert on loss. Our thought, feelings and emotions are creating our world. Learn how to create the world you want. Master your mind, and return to joy.

thoughtbuster.com · Published · 1 views · Rated 3/5 from 9 votes

Helping people affected by loss transform grief, find peace and feel more positive about the future so that they can create healthier, happier more meaningful lives in tribute to their loved ones.

tabithajayne.com · Published · 1 views · Rated 3/5 from 4 votes

Assisting those grieving a loved one's death

marymac.info · Published · 250 views · Rated 3.3/5 from 35 votes

The Foundation for Grieving Children is the first national 501(c)3 public charity which raises funds and provides grants to community-based organizations which assist, educate, counsel and comfort children, teens, young adults and their families after a loved one's death.

foundationforgrievingchildren.org · Published · 28 views · Rated 2.8/5 from 21 votes

Wellbeing and healing womb clearings for women and the world. Classes, retreats and virtual circles exploring issues affecting the feminine and powerful ways to #HealMeToo.

wombsense.com · Published · 7 views · Rated 3.7/5 from 7 votes

As a Life Transitions consultant & coach, besides having specialized in grief and loss, Ligia M. Houben, with special care helps people transform their losses and transform their lives. Her system The 11 Principles of Transformation is offered now as a 12 weeks online program www.the11principlesoftransformation.com

ligiahouben.com · Published · 9 views · Rated 3/5 from 21 votes