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ARTArticleDon't QuarrelIt's one thing to stick up for yourself and others. But it's a different matter to get caught up in wrangles, contentiousness, squabbles . . . in a word: quarrels. Similarly, it's one thing to disagree with someone, even to the point of arguing - but it's a different matter to get so caught up in your position that you lose sight of the bigger picture, including your relationship with the other person. Then you're quarreling.ARTArticleDon't Rain On The ParadeLet's say you've had an interesting idea or moment of inspiration, or thought of a new project, or felt some enthusiasm bubbling up inside you. Your notions are not fully formed and you're not really committed to them yet, but they have promise and you like them and are trying them on for size. Then what?ARTArticleDrop the StoneAs we begin a new year for many people, it’s natural to consider how to make it a good one. Besides taking action in the outer world – from fixing a dripping faucet to feeding every child – we can act inside our own minds . . . and take the benefits with us wherever we go. This year, what do you think are the top five things you can do inside yourself to be happier, stronger, wiser, and more loving? In this JOT and those that follow, I’ll suggest my own top five:ARTArticleEnjoy The Good That LastsWhy? So many things change. Leaves fall, friends move away, and children leave home. My dad died some years ago, and my mom about ten years before that. I don’t know about you, but I’m getting older (darn, there is no fooling the mirror).ARTArticleFeel Cared AboutEveryone knows what it’s like to care about someone. Remember being with a friend, a mate, a pet: you feel warmly connected and want him or her not to suffer and to be happy.ARTArticleFind Your GroundI've been to New Zealand, and really respect and like it. There's a Maori term - turangawaewae, "a place to stand" - that I've come back to many times.ARTArticleFive Ways to Prevent a Holiday Heart AttackIn the interest of preventing a holiday disaster, this is an article I like to (re)post December of every year. While the holiday season is associated with the indulgence of food, spending, festivities and the "spirit(s) of Christmas" (i.e. something involving frequent visits to the liquor store), it can have its downside as well... a little cheer disturber called stress. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say the "stress of indulgence".ARTArticleFlexibility Is Key To Personal EffectivenessPersonal effectiveness is often measured by the ability to perform consistently and achieve goals. But following a path blindly or fixating on a goal when that goal is no longer meaningful or attainable is counter-productive and may be destructive. To maximize your effectiveness, you have to be flexible. But you can’t be so flexible that you cannot attain a goal.ARTArticleForgiveForgiveness is a tricky topic. First, it has two distinct meanings:ARTArticleFROM DREAMS TO MAGICFROM DREAMS TO MAGIC The dreams have been a great importance in the discovery and development of founding myths of the pre-monotheistic religions. FROM THE SIMPLE TO THE COMPLEX In some biblical texts 2,500 years old and in modern psychology we can find materials that will lead us to verify the fundamental role had dreams in the birth of the various myths and legends. At a time when the man lived in nature, the first religious beliefs are myths of nature itself. The first gods were supe atural forces of forests, rivers, lakes, the Sun, Earth ...r ARTArticleGetting to Know Who We AreTo start taking responsibility for ourselves requires getting to know who we are. We take much for granted in our lives; the part we take most for granted is ourselves--who we are as individuals, and what we stand for, (believe in). The vast majority of what we believe, we have bee Indoctrinated/Programmed to believe. We literally live and die according to those beliefs. Therefore, in order to begin to take responsibly for our own lives, and discover, "who we are," we must discover what we believe.ARTArticleGive No One Cause To FearWe evolved to be afraid. The ancient ancestors that were casual and blithely hopeful, underestimating the risks around them - predators, loss of food, aggression from others of their kind - did not pass on their genes. But the ones that were nervous were very successful - and we are their great-grandchildren, sitting atop the food chain.ARTArticleGuided Imagery as a Tool for Positive AffectGuided Imagery, Guided Interactive Meditation, and Visualization are similar words and practices. The point of this type of exercise is to exercise your belief system to work for you and not against you. Even though there are many benefits of talk therapy alone, it is important that the therapeutic environment offer experiential tools to facilitate new experiences within you. The imagery that you use must come from you. It cannot come from me. It has to be believable imagery.ARTArticleHappy New Year's!So, a new year is here. What will this year bring me? I know that I can count on laughing a lot this year. I also know that I can count on shedding tears. I know that I will experience joy. But I will also experience despair. There will be big frustrations and big achievements. I know all of this because this is what happens every year to all of us. We never get happiness alone. If we did, we would not appreciate it. We need to have sadness to realize how special happiness is.r ARTArticleHave CompassionCompassion is essentially the wish that beings do not suffer - from subtle physical and emotional discomfort to agony and anguish - combined with feelings of sympathetic concern. You could have compassion for an individual (a friend in the hospital, a co-worker passed over for a promotion), groups of people (victims of crime, those displaced by a hurricane, refugee children), animals (your pet, livestock heading for the slaughterhouse), and yourself.ARTArticleHow Do You Hold Your Vision?"Do you know how hard it is to hold onto a vision when so many people and situations are telling me I can't do this?" Alana asked. "I find myself getting caught up in the reality of what I see and hear, and then, before I know it, I've lost touch with my dream. I just don't know what to do about that." I could relate to what Alana was saying. How many times had I gotten sidetracked or dropped a dream because I just lost faith that I could create it?ARTArticleHow Intuitive Are You?“How do you know if you're intuitive?" someone asked recently. "I mean, I think I am, but I'm not really sure what that means." She's not alone. Many people wonder if they are intuitive. Let me start off by saying "Everyone is intuitive." Now, before you go "Yeah, right!" let me explain. Intuitive abilities are inherent in each one of us, just as our ability to breathe is inherent.ARTArticleHow to Find The Best Marriage Counselor For Your NeedsEveryone wants "the best". When you are looking for a marriage counselor it is important to find someone who is specifically trained in marriage counseling and has the credential of "licensed" or "certified" marriage counselor". This indicates that they demonstrated some level of competence necessary to have had to passed some test(s) or other criteria of competence.ARTArticleHow To Keep Your Identity Safe OnlineIdentity fraud used to be a thing of James Bond films and spy thrillers that involved getting false papers and false passports and then killing the people who provided them so no-one knew. Sadly or not the world has moved on a lot from those halcyon days, and identity fraud is a real issue nowadays that people need to be aware of. Part of the problem is that no-one knows how real a threat it actually is.ARTArticleHow To Let Go of Negative Self-JudgmentsMany people cling to the myth that those who are successful inevitably feel good about themselves and are free from self-doubt and insecurities. I’ve worked with many clients whose résumés, personal achievements, and reputations garner the deepest respect and admiration, yet their negative self-talk is often utterly brutal. Despite their low opinion of themselves, they’ve managed to fashion lives that many would envy.ARTArticleHow We Conceptualize This Thing We Call AngerAs Carol Tavris writes in her landmark work “there does not seem to be a clear understanding of the phenomena we call Anger” (Tavris, 1989). She continues “the harder we try to pin down one explanation the more certain we are to fail.” She argues, “Anger is like beauty, as it is in the eye of the beholder”.ARTArticleIdentifying; Putting Yourself in BoxesThere is overwhelming social pressure to identify who we are to others with labels, and to put labels on other people. For example, it is hard, when we meet others socially, to keep from asking that person what they do for a living, as well as tell them what we do to earn a living. Suggestions on how to overcome doing this in a social situation have been around for a long time now.ARTArticleIs My Child Too Young for Counseling?"Is My Child Too Young for Counseling"? Children, like any of us, have troubles and worries. Sometimes their troubles and worries are bigger than they know how to express or manage. A child may have experienced separation or divorce of their parents, the loss of a loved one or even a pet, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, an alcoholic or addicted parent. They may be struggling in school with academics, or struggling with their relationships with friends or family members. These are all common issues that many children struggle with.ARTArticleKeep Your Eyes On The PrizeHave you heard this saying? The most important thing is to remember the most important thing. What are the most important things to you? In your life as a whole? During a particular interaction with someone? Right this minute?ARTArticleLack Of Faith Prevents Your Maximum Personal EffectivenessTruly unleashing your maximum personal effectiveness requires faith. Not faith in a religious sense. Faith in yourself and your abilities. Faith that you have unwavering hope that your goals can be accomplished. This is different from having faith that a supe atural being or exte al force will cause everything to work out for your best. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But having faith in yourself is a much more reliable strategy than hoping for the best.ARTArticleLearn As You GoMy top five inner practices, and here they are:ARTArticleLet It FlowI think there are five key things we can do inside ourselves to be happier, stronger, wiser, and more loving this year:ARTArticleLife Coach Recommends, Go With First Impressions Renting or Buying a HomeOver the years I have consulted with friends, family members, and clients, about potential rental properties, and real estate purchases. One of the benefits of intuition is that information comes any time and any where. Although meeting face to face is more personal, modern technology now gives us the opportunity to converse, and see one another online. And phone sessions are convenient, and expedient, when something needs to be clarified quickly, like house hunting.ARTArticleLighten UpOn the path of life, most of us are hauling way too much weight. What's in your own backpack? If you're like most of us, you've got too many items on each day's To-Do list and too much stuff in the closet. Too many entanglements with other people. And too many "shoulds," worries, guilts, and regrets.ARTArticleLove SomeoneSometimes something happens. Perhaps your sweet old cat takes a turn for the worse, or there’s a money problem, or your son waves goodbye as he gets on a plane to start college on the other side of the country. Sometimes it’s on a larger scale: maybe there’s been an election, and you’re grappling with its consequences. Or you might be dealing with something ongoing, like a dead-end job (or no job at all), life after divorce, chronic pain, or a teenager who won’t talk to you.

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