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ARTArticle***Negotiating Skills Will Get You AheadNegotiating skills can help you manage lots of different kinds of life situations, both at work and in your personal relationships. Here are a few examples of where these skills can help you build an even better life for yourself: 1. Many family situations require negotiating with others. Deciding which movie to see, planning how to spend money, choosing a vacation spot, and many other decisions work best when you have these skills. 2. Being a good negotiator enables you to get what you want more often without resorting to becoming aggressive or pushy.ARTArticle***Proud to Be a Tortoise!Remember the Aesop’s fable “The Tortoise and the Hare”? It’s the story of a lightning-fast rabbit and a plod-along turtle that are seemingly mismatched in a race. It was the tortoise, annoyed with the hare’s boastful assertions of being faster than the wind, that challenged the hare. To the surprise of everyone but the tortoise, (s)he wins. Well I’m a tortoise. For most of my life, I’ve put one foot in front of the other, to get to the finish line, to achieve my goals. “Slow and steady wins the race”!ARTArticle***Real Men Love Real WomenOne of the reasons I love my husband so much is that he thinks most of the models in the Victoria Secret catalogues are “too skinny”. Yes, that’s a direct quote and boy, am I glad, since at five feet tall and a size 8 petite, I’ll never make the front cover – nor the inside pages for that matter. I’m blessed with a man who has loved my curves and my aging self for over 20 years.ARTArticle***Recognizing Depression's Warning SignsDepression is a serious illness, not a harmless part of life. It is a complex disorder with a variety of causes. It is never caused by just one thing. It may be the result of a mix of factors, including genetic, chemical, physical, and sociological. It is also influenced by behavior patterns learned in the family and by cognitive distortions. Depression affects millions of people in this country. It is always troubling, and for some people it can be disabling. Depression is more than just sadness or "the blues." It can have an impact on nearly every aspect of a person's life.ARTArticle***Recovering From a Career CrisisIf you have ever experienced any of the following, you have had a career crisis: - Losing your job - Being fired - Burning out - Not wanting to do your job for one more day A career crisis can be caused either by someone else (being laid off) or by your own feelings (burning out). Common Causes of Career Crises There are many reasons why people experience career crises.ARTArticle***Resolving Conflicts EffectivelyEvery relationship has conflicts. In some relationships, conflict is a serious problem; in others, differences seem to be resolved without creating a major incident. Think about the kinds of conflicts that happen in your daily life. These are typical: 1. Disagreements over who should do what 2. Disagreements over how things should be done 3.ARTArticle***Should I Consult a Therapist?Most of us experience times when we need help to deal with problems and issues that cause us emotional distress. When you are having a problem or dilemma that is making you feel overwhelmed, you may benefit from the assistance of an experienced, trained professional. Professional counselors and therapists offer the caring, expert assistance that people need during stressful times. There are many types of mental health providers to choose from.ARTArticle***Should I Leave my Job?Most of us have to work for a living. Since we spend so many hours each week at our jobs, it's very important that there is a good fit. If you have been feeling less enthusiastic about your work situation recently, maybe you have even begun to wonder if it is time to move on. Here are seven signs that your job is no longer the right one for you: - You no longer look forward to going to work in the morning. This may seem obvious, but many people overlook it because it happens gradually. Think about how you felt when you first started working at your company.ARTArticle***Should I Leave This Relationship?How do you know when it's time to say goodbye to a relationship? In any intimate relationship-especially in a marriage-it's not a good idea to let a doomed partnership drag on, simply to avoid the pain of a breakup. Signs of Trouble There are some warning signs that your relationship is in trouble. If you recognize any of these signals in your own partnership, you may have some work to do to get things back on track. - Your life priorities have changed significantly.ARTArticle***Stress Busting StrategiesLearn to have healthy relationships: This subject could fill an entire book. In the limited space of this newsletter, let's look at the key components of this stress-reducing strategy. 1. Identify the sources of stress in your relationships. Write about them in a journal. Make a list of people who cause you stress and explore what the issues are. 2. Resolve the underlying issues. For each of the situations identified in step 1, assess what needs to happen to resolve it. Make a list and design a plan to improve the situation. 3. Learn skills to improve relationships.ARTArticle***Surviving Those Holiday BluesNot everyone shares in the celebration and joy associated with the holidays. Many people feel stressed and unhappy in response to the demands of shopping for gifts, spending large amounts of money, attending parties and family gatherings, and entertaining houseguests. It is not uncommon to react to these stresses with excessive drinking and eating, difficulty sleeping, and physical complaints. The holiday blues are a common result. If you experience reactions like these during the holidays, you are not alone.ARTArticle***The Female Prosperity Hormone…OxytocinEver hear of Oxytocin? No, not the painkiller, oxycontin, but the hormone that is released in childbirth and assists in the bonding experience between mother and child. Well, more and more research is demonstrating that oxytocin is also the female prosperity hormone, and responsible for not only feelings of love and well being, but of increased collaboration and altruism in women - and in men. Interesting, don’t you think?ARTArticle***The Gifts of MenopauseHot flashes. Night sweats. Vaginal dryness. Thinning pubic hair. Mental confusion. Increased depression, anxiety, and irritability. Slower metabolism. Thickening waistline. Weight gain. Thinning bones. Wrinkling skin. Decreased sex drive. Painful intercourse. Yes, these and more are the many “gifts” of menopause and I experienced most of them, all because of changing levels of the hormones estrogen, progesterone, androgen, and testosterone.ARTArticle***The Greatest Love of AllSomewhere in the mid 1980’s, during that fifteen year stretch in between husband #1 and my second and forever husband, the song “The Greatest Love of All” came out. It was popularized by Whitney Houston but my favorite version is the one by George Benson. The song is about learning to love one’s self. I have this memory of trying to get to my office in downtow Boston, stuck in traffic on the Mass Pike with the song playing on the radio. Since I had nothing better to do (long before the days of smart phones and laptops), I really listened to the lyrics for the first time.ARTArticle***The Impact of Divorce on FamiliesAs a licensed mental health professional, I work with many individuals, couples, and families who are affected by divorce. I see the devastating effects that breakups can have and am dedicated to helping people develop the skills to cope with experiences like divorce. Major Disruptions The decision to divorce causes major changes in the lives of all family members. Some upheaval is inevitable. The main trouble areas are: 1. Financial: Money becomes a huge problem for most people. The cost of a divorce is extremely high, and two households cost more than one. 2.ARTArticle***The Long and Winding Road…to Self-AcceptanceI am 63 years old! Have I ever told you that? I realized that I seldom reveal my actual age these days. Not because of the stereotypical female thing – we lie about our age and our weight. And I never was that way when I was younger. In fact, I threw myself a fortieth birthday party and proudly announced when I turned fifty. I think lately it’s been more about worrying that my younger clients and my students won’t think I’m “cool” or “hip” or have anything relevant to share with them.ARTArticle***Unlock Your Potential Through Self-AwarenessSigns of Discontent You don't need a degree in psychology to know when you're off-track, but sometimes it creeps up on you. It can seem like you wake up one day and realize that things are not right.ARTArticle***Use a journal For Self-Discovery and Self-ExpressionAs a therapist, I often suggest to clients that they explore their feelings and thoughts by keeping a journal. Sometimes clients ask for a bit of direction with this process. Here are some jou aling ideas if you're not sure where to start: 1. Write down what happened today and how you felt about it. 2. Write a letter to a person you are angry with. Say everything you are feeling and wish you had the nerve to say. 3. Draw a picture of the person you wrote the letter to in #2. 4. Make a list of all the things you are grateful for.ARTArticle***We’re All in the Same BoatIn my office waiting room, I have an oil painting of a small rowboat adrift on the sea. The boat is empty, about to go under and the sea is turbulent. It was painted by a former client, a young woman who I met when she had been struggling with bulimia for seven years. She gave me that painting right before she successfully ended treatment.ARTArticle***What I Learned When I was SingleWhen I was twenty-four years old, I became a divorced woman. I had been married for four and a half years and in relationship with this man/ boy since I was eighteen. Getting divorced rocked my world, turned it upside down, pulled the rug out from under me, and knocked me on my tushy. All the old clichés applied. At the time, I was a middle school English teacher and I remember the head of the music department saying to me, "Look at you Ilene. You're pretty and smart.ARTArticle10 Common Mistakes that Cause Mindfulness Practice to FailThere are many reasons why you might feel like your efforts to incorporate mindfulness into your life haven’t worked for you. Here are some common mistakes that interfere with successful mindfulness practice followed by effective ways to avoid and overcome these obstacles. a. I don’t have time. People are busy these days. And, at first, many people feel that mindfulness is a waste of time and they should use the time to get stuff done.ARTArticle3 Reasons Why Weight Training Reduces Stress And Negative ThoughtsAre you stressed out and tired of not being happy? Perhaps you are not paying enough attention to yourself. While many stress reduction techniques are available, I would like to discuss weight training as a stress reduction technique. The payoff for a regular weight lifting routine is enormous benefits to your body and mind. This includes increased muscle tone and optimal body functioning. Here are three reasons why lifting weights reduces stress and negative thoughts.ARTArticle3 Steps To Conquer Your FearsDale Carnegie once said, “Fear does not exist anywhere but in our mind.” Let’s consider this: If fear is just a figment of our imagination and does not exist anywhere else, how can we explain the devastating impact fear has on our health and in our lives?ARTArticle3 Ways to Curb Stress-Induced Food CravingsIt’s been a long day. You’re stressed and tired. You’ve got nothing left and you just want a reward. To give yourself a treat, you reach for a soda, a cookie, or that bag of chips—or, maybe, all of the above in succession. There’s a bio-chemical reason you do this, yet unfortunately, that momentary pleasure is only going to increase your craving, while doing little to dampen your stress—and you’ll gain weight, which may add to your stress. In this article, we’ll explore three ways to curb the cycle of stress-induced food cravings in a way that is deeply relaxing, pleasurable, and rewarding.r ARTArticle4 Quick, But Effective Exercises To Keep Busy Moms FitWe all know how difficult it is to stay in shape and find time to exercise – but most especially for women with babies or small kids. There’s the sleep-deprivation factor, no time and priority changes. So what are the fitness options for busy Moms? The fact is, the more you can take of yourself and the better you feel, the stronger you will be physically and emotionally to take on the day with the “little ones” and all of life’s challenges.ARTArticle5 Budgeting Tips For Lazy PeopleThe budget is the only tool that helps you understand your spending and saving. If you want your spending to be under control, pay-off your debt quickly and manage money properly, you need to have a written home budget. Lazy people don’t track their expenses properly and thus struggle with their finances. This article is meant for such people who have no control on their spending. It will help them get out of their debt as well as laziness and reach their financial goals easily and quickly. Following are some of the budgeting tips that help you get out of your money problems.ARTArticle5 Effective Ways to Get Rid of LazinessEver found yourself reluctant to exert any effort whatsoever? Does this laziness occur after several hours of work or for no reason at all? You can allow yourself to rest, but if the frequency of you becoming lazy rises too high, it may cause you harm. Following are 5 effective ways for you to get rid of laziness. Breaking Tasks into Sub-tasks ARTArticle5 Habits to Revitalize Mind and Body Through a Good Night’s SleepWhile there are numerous suggestions on how to get up in the morning to make your day most desirable, tips on how to achieve a good night’s sleep are also equally important. Towards the end of the day, at night, we are meant to rest, relax, and let go off all the worries and anxieties that we carry whole day long. Nevertheless, we find it difficult to shake our minds from those unpleasant moments of the past. We tend to get stuck in past memories and future plans rather than focusing on the present time that is not meant for brain work.ARTArticle5 Ways to Make Your Legs Look Longer, Leaner and SexierAlmost all of us wish to have long, lean legs that seem to be going on for miles. However, few among us have those supermodel-legs, keeping those who don’t thinking of ways to add a few inches. While most use Photoshop to make their photos look better, what to do in the real life? The answer is simple enough; a few styling tricks can actually create the illusion of long legs, making you look tall and slender. 1. Selecting the Right Shoes ARTArticle6 Free Tips That Makes You Forget About SmokingWe all know that there are many different methods to stop smoking, some a lot more effective than the others. This article is about stopping smoking all by yourself. Whether you have tried before or you are doing so now for the first time, the following techniques makes it both simple and easy.

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