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ARTArticle“WHAT OTHERS THINK OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS”LONELY CREATURES We’re all social animals, even when we sometimes need our privacy Many people in the mental health field, spiritual practices & new-age wisdom say we shouldn’t worry about what others think of us. Yes, OK, but it’s not that simple! What they don’t tell you is that there’s 2 different aspects, the negative & the positive.ARTArticle***Alcohol Addiction Treatment: From Twelve Steps to One StepIn the 1950s and 60s most adults in North America smoked cigarettes or other tobacco products. We thought nothing of it. However, increasing research evidence of tobacco health risks began to overpower the tobacco industry’s portrayal of smoking as safe and cool. As the evidence mounted, increasing numbers of people quit smoking or never started. The voices of those wanting smoke-free workplaces and restaurants got louder than the chorus of smokers shouting, “It is my inalienable right to smoke whenever and wherever I want to.”ARTArticle***Alcoholic Neuropathy: Signs and SymptomsRecently a reader left a question on my site about the symptoms of neuropathy. Her question was, "What is alcoholic neuropathy? I have heard the term and am interested in understanding it." She went on to add the comment, "It is just amazing when you read the comments from other people, and it is like they are just describing the events of your own life." Alcoholic Neuropathy: Symptoms ARTArticle***An 'Addictive Personality'- The Alcoholic's Convenient MythPeople addicted to alcohol drink compulsively and often claim to have an addictive personality. It is a convenient myth. I heard of a dentist who approached his dental work with compulsive attention to detail. His crowns had to fit perfectly. He was fanatical about bite adjustment and his workspace cleanliness was impeccable--all things I like to see in a dentist, because I do not like pain . . . or recalls.ARTArticle***Anger Issues: What makes me Angry?Anger is a normal healthy emotion, albeit a negative one. We all have anger issues at one time or another. When you experience anger, it is your body trying to tell you something is wrong, that “something is rotten in Denmark.” But what? Not understanding your body’s message can lead to accusing your spouse of making you angry, or alte atively, stuffing the anger to avoid a fight. Either approach ultimately leads to reduced communication, distancing and alienation from your partner.ARTArticle***Can the Functioning Alcoholic Last?: Part ThreeThere is a third critical factor to bear in mind when questioning the functioning of a so-called “functioning alcoholic.” The first factor to consider was whether the alcoholic is functioning generally in life, or just in one aspect of life, like his job. The second factor was whether the alcoholic is achieving his potential and pursuing his dreams, not just getting by. The third factor has to with how long the “functioning,” at whatever level, can last in the presence of alcohol abuse.ARTArticle***Can You Stop Drinking Alcohol on Your Own?Sam has been charged with impaired driving twice. He drinks every weekend and he drinks a lot. His wife and other family members report that his personality changes when he drinks and he becomes mean. The next day he can’t remember much of what happened when he was drinking.ARTArticle***Change Your Life Whether You're a Functioning Alcoholic or an Overworked MomWill You Use this Key Step to Change your Life? Commitment is one key to losing weight, getting in shape, learning a new skill, finding your soul mate, getting a better job, learning a new language, running a marathon, going back to school, drinking less, spending time with your kids or communicating better with your partner. Commitment gets things going. You may be one of those people who can commit to personal change and follow through just like the women in the weight-loss adds on TV. If so, congratulations! But, for the rest of us, it's not always that easy.ARTArticle***Five Silly Ideas That Can Hurt Your Marriage RelationshipSome of the old notions about marriage relationships, often stated as wise truths by our grandmothers, are still floating around and are still doing damage. One of my grandmother’s favorites was “Never let the sun set on an argument.” Silly idea number one: never go to bed angry. I swallowed that one at about aged five. Then in my 20s my wife and I would argue half the night rather than go to sleep without settling the issue.ARTArticle***Is Neediness Part of a Healthy Relationship?As you contemplate entering a committed relationship, the greater your neediness, or his, the more likely codependency, dysfunction and disappointment will follow. Focus on what you want, not on what you need. I once knew a woman who as a teen dated a man in his twenties. He had a strong need to get married and the teen wasn’t ready. The pressure to fulfill his need increased until one day he lay down on the railway tracks with a train coming. He’d rather die than be without her. She caved. Use your imagination as to where that marriage went.ARTArticle***Learn to Take Responsibility and Avoid Marital ProblemsVolumes have been written on the importance of taking responsibility. Some of it is psychological, some of it legalistic and much of it moralistic. This article is about taking responsibility for your own emotions, with a focus on marital conflict. An argument typically starts over something small. If it can be nipped in the bud, it’s nothing. But sometimes it escalates to the emotional boiling point, where voices are raised and both parties are hurling unrepeatable expletives at each other. Alte atively, one or both parties may slip into a seething silence.ARTArticle***Marriage Stress, Blame and AlcoholLife is full of events that lead to personal distress. And stress can build upon stress which can lead to marriage problems. If one of you drinks to reduce stress, in time the drinking itself causes stress and becomes a major roadblock to solutions. Quite naturally, you look around to see what’s causing your distress and the only person there is your spouse, so you instinctively blame him or her for upsetting you. Blaming your spouse is a gut reaction that escalates marriage problems, because it generates resentment and alienation. It is the Achilles’ heel of an intimate relationship.r ARTArticle***The Functioning Alcoholic and Achievement: Part TwoIn The Functioning Alcoholic: Gaps in Functioning I argued that doing one’s job is not one’s only function in life. For the alcoholic to consider himself to be “functioning” he has to function in various areas of life, not just on the job. In Can the Functioning Alcoholic Last?: Part Three I tackle the issue of using the term “functioning” when the alcohol leads to an early death. Abandoned Dreams and Under-achievement ARTArticle***The Functioning Alcoholic and MarriageI recently received an e-mail from a woman who believes her husband is a functioning alcoholic. Joan (alias) recently took the Alcoholism Test and then emailed me. Although a few details are changed or left out for privacy reasons, Joan began with: "I was researching functional alcoholism and came across your site. I took the Alcoholism Test to determine if my husband would be considered a functioning alcoholic. I have not yet spoken with anyone about this, but just researched Al-Anon and plan on attending a meeting . . . " Joan went on to make the following points:r ARTArticle***The Functioning Alcoholic: Gaps in Functioning? Part OneAs drinking and driving becomes less tolerated, many communities have volunteer programs, as well as paid services, to get people home safely if they’ve been drinking and shouldn’t drive. Their existence is a reminder that parties, family gatherings, weddings and other celebrations push up alcohol consumption.ARTArticle***Thrivers, Survivors and People in RecoveryWe meet people everyday who have recovered or are in recovery from a major life changing event. Some deem themselves as survivors, and some just positively live their lives looking forward to the future (a thriver). What are the differences between a thriver, a survivor and a person in recovery? A thriver is someone who grows vigorously, flourishes, or realizes goals despite circumstances. Thrivers are active agents in creating their futures. They look forward to an ever better future. They have a knowing that when setbacks come, they will land on their feet.ARTArticle***When Is a Marriage Beyond Help?One time in a land far away a client asked me if I could help her save her 15-year marriage. Her husband was threatening to leave her, was stonewalling and was generally emotionally cold, but she said he was willing to see me. I worked with him for several months, and they stayed together. However, one day a year later as I was preparing to leave the community, she approached me, very troubled. This is what she said: “You’ve turned my husband into everything I ever wanted in a husband. But I don’t want to be with him.”ARTArticle***You’re Married to an Alcoholic: What to Do? What to Do?Being married to a functioning alcoholic can cause many problems in a family. Tens of thousands of families in North America alone are struggling with this issue. A drinking problem can begin in many ways. For some people it begins with social drinking. Social drinking can gradually deteriorate into alcohol abuse and eventually into alcohol dependence. The drinking became a habit and the habit became alcohol dependence or alcoholism. It matters not whether the alcohol is in the form of beer, wine or hard liquor. Alcohol is alcohol in any shape or form.ARTArticle***Your Relationship Comes FirstRelationships are the heart and soul of our society. If our relationships with others were to disappear, most of us would feel all meaning slipping away from our lives. Our husbands, our wives, our children, our parents and extended family, our co-workers and our friends help to create what we become in life. We are a social species. Relationships unfortunately can falter. And when your relationship with your life partner is faltering, you need to act decisively.ARTArticle2 Powerful Reasons Why the Minimum Drinking Age is 21Why is the drinking age set at 21? This question is usually asked by the minor who wants to drink or is already drinking. In working with an adolescent population, I hear the litany of justifications that youth have for drinking underage and why they feel the laws are unjust. The problem is that they also share these thoughts with their parents, and often times the parents may accept one or more of these justifications as a reason to be lenient on the child's behavior.ARTArticle3 Essential Breathing and Body Oxygen Checks Each Individual Should DoBy Dr. Artour Rakhimov (www.NormalBreathing.com) Normal oxygen delivery to cells is crucial for good health. Furthermore, oxygen level in body cells is always low for virtually all chronic diseases. With progression of diseases, many people require oxygen supplementation.ARTArticle3 Potential Attitudes as Clients Leave RehabWhether one goes into a rehab due to a court order, based on family encouragement/insistence or for their own self recovery, they should be applauded. It is not easy to take the first step in recovering from addiction. However, the true test of one’s sobriety happens when the person leaves the safety of a highly monitored rehabilitation facility.ARTArticle6 Tips to Choosing Your Right RehabWhen a person struggles with drinking or drug abuse there are many routes to take in order to find recovery. Typically a person will try to exhaust the least restrictive environments first, such as attending a 12-Step program, seeking therapy or trying to quit on their own. However it is often the case that a more restrictive environment is needed and that’s when you may decide to choose an inpatient program like rehab. There are many things to consider in choosing a treatment program, and here are 6 tips to get you started.ARTArticle8 Reasons to Start Your Daily Mental Workout Now.In today's fast paced world as more and more pressures seem to pop up every day, it's vital to reduce the negative effects of stress on the body. Just as we intend to keep unwanted weeds from our manicured lawn, the effects of stress can cripple your brain function. A daily mental workout will chop away those stress weeds and create a more ideal environment for your mind to function. Stress causes anxiety and mood disorders, you become restless, impatient. It's physiological effects include headaches, increased heart rate and high blood pressure.ARTArticle8 Tips for Keeping Managing Daily StressDo you feel like you have so much to do and not enough time to get everything done? When your life gets crazy, you can’t let the busyness take over your mind. You need to put yourself first to maintain your mental health. Here are eight tips for keeping a clear mind: 1. Get organized. Your life can be much easier if you maintain a good level of organization. You’ll save time and gain a feeling of control over your circumstances. The time you save allows you the opportunity to take care of yourself with relaxation exercises or the pursuit of hobbies that you enjoy.ARTArticleA Healer in Every Family - a World Without PainA Healer in Every Family - a World without Pain This is the wish expressed by Master Chunyi Lin, the developer of SpringForestQiGong. In fact, if everybody learned the simple exercises taught by Master Chunyi Lin, the world would experience much less pain. Master Chunyi Lin, has always had and he still has in mind, that pain is an unnecessary feeling and that it really can be avoided. This method works with all kinds of pain, be it physical, mental or spiritual or emotional.ARTArticleA Quick Look At Bipolar disorderWhat is bipolar disorder? We all have occasional highs and lows in our moods. But people with bipolar disorder, these peaks and valleys are more severe. They can go from feeling very sad, despairing, helpless, worthless, and hopeless (depression) to feeling as if they are on top of the world, hyperactive, creative, and grandiose. The extreme mood swings can hurt their job and school performance, damage their relationships, and disrupt their daily life. Fortunately, bipolar disorder is treatable, but without treatment it tends to worsen. Symptoms ARTArticleA Quick Look at Generalized Anxiety DisorderEveryone feel anxious from time to time, especially if his life is stressful, but, if he has an anxiety that is going out of control and interfere with your ability to function and relationships and makes it hard to enjoy life, he may have generalized anxiety disorder. Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) is an anxiety disorder that is characterized by chronic anxiety, exaggerated worry and tension, even when there is little or nothing to provoke it. Symptomsr Generalized anxiety disorder symptoms can vary in combination and severity. They can include:r ARTArticleABANDONMENT Pain, Now (Part 1)“I HATE YOU - DON’T LEAVE ME!” I know I don’t deserve you, but I’m desperate â¶ Un-healed ACoAs have only 2 speeds about most things: Too Much or Too Little, black or white, very high or very low. ‘Gray’ is NOT even thought of, or is seen as a cop-out! â¶ Mental Health is about many things, one of which is BALANCE. Living in a healthy middle ground is not only a foreign concept to ACoAs, but IF experienced, even briefly, is considered BORING & undesirable!ARTArticleABANDONMENT Pain, Now (Part 2)ABANDONMENT PAIN IS FROM THE PAST It hurts, but it passes DEFINITION • the DEF for Abandonment (A) is : “Not getting enough of your legitimate childhood needs met, & some needs NOT at all”. This applies to all 4 categories of NEEDS: Mental, Physical, Emotional, Spiritual. (A) is NOT just about someone physically leaving • (A) did not have to be overt or deliberate. Our parents may have been oblivious to the damage they were doing, BUT the result is the samer

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