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ARTArticle3 Surprising Ways Being "Selfish" Makes Your Relationship HappierSometimes you have to take a stand for your own happiness! I have a client who, on one hand, says she's always considerate and helpful to her husband, making valiant efforts to please him. But then, in the next breath, she complains that he treats her like a doormat. She continues doing what she thinks she SHOULD as a "good wife," but to what end? She's lost herself in some distorted belief. And I have to wonder ... did her husband ever actually ask any of this of her, or did she just do it (and then resent it)?ARTArticle4 Steps to Help You Overcome Your Mid-Life Happiness SlumpYou don't need to turn back the clock to be happy. These tips will help you navigate mid-life. Every time I wish my 96-year-old Uncle to have a fabulous day, he answers enthusiastically with, "every day is a great day." Attitude is a major factor in one's outlook on life, but economic and behavioral research reveal that as we age we may actually become happier. In fact, happiness may increase in the later years, regardless of money, relationships, employment status, or children.ARTArticle6 Tips To Make Your Relationships Rock SolidAre you overlooking subtle ways to maintain the spark in your relationship? Intimate relationships are an essential part of our humanity. To keep yours vibrant and long-lasting, you’re likely already aware of how you excite and attract each other and also how you show compassion. But there are subtler ways that you may be missing which can be vital to the longevity of your loving bond. 1. SPOON IN BEDr ARTArticle9 Amazingly Positive Ways Teas Are Healthy For Youby Peggy Sealfon ARTArticleA Crystal Ball for ParentsHave you ever thought about what magical talent or tool that you would want? Do you want a magic wand? The ability to fly? I know what many parents have wished for: a crystal ball! I cannot tell you the number of parents that have struggled over a decision about their children, hoping that they are making the best choice. If only we could see what future each choice will bring, which is the best choice for our child.r ARTArticleAnyone Can Do Yoga. But Not Everyone Understands What Yoga Really Is!Anyone can do yoga. It doesn’t matter if you’re inflexible, out of shape or have never done yoga. What matters is how fully engaged you are in each experience as you practice.ARTArticleAre some things getting better?There are always things that are getting worse. For example, over the past year, you probably know someone who has become unemployed or ill or both, and there's more carbon in the atmosphere inexorably heating up the planet.ARTArticleAre We Really So Separate?Your brain evolved in three stages (to simplify a complex process): - Reptile - Brainstem, focused on AVOIDING harm - Mammal - Limbic system, focused on APPROACHING rewards - Primate - Cortex, focused on ATTACHING to "us"ARTArticleAre We There Yet?We spend so much of our time trying to get somewhere. Part of this comes from our biological nature. To survive, animals - including us - have to be goal-directed, leaning into the future. It's certainly healthy to pursue wholesome aims, like paying the rent on time, raising children well, healing old pain, or improving education.ARTArticleAre You All Over The Place?Gravity and entropy are powerful processes in the natural world. Gravity draws things together, toward a center, while entropy scatters them into disorder. In much the same way, in our own lives, some things bring us to center, while others disturb and disperse us. In terms of centering, be aware of your whole body as you take a long slow breath, or think of something you're glad about. You'll probably feel more at home in yourself, more drawn into your own core rather than feeling like Garfield the cartoon cat, spreadeagled up against a pane of glass.ARTArticleAre You Feeling Unneeded Pain?Painful experiences range from subtle discomfort to extreme anguish - and there is a place for them. Sorrow can open the heart, anger can highlight injustices, fear can alert you to real threats, and remorse can help you take the high road next time.ARTArticleAre You Full to the Rim?Once upon a time, a scholar came to visit a saint. After the scholar had been orating and propounding for a while, the saint proposed some tea. She slowly filled the scholar's cup: gradually the tea rose to the very brim and began spilling over onto the table, yet she kept pouring and pouring. The scholar burst out: "Stop! You can't add anything to something that's already full!" The saint set down the teapot and replied, "Exactly."ARTArticleAre You Holding Onto Feeling Wronged?First, it has two distinct meanings: * To give up resentment or anger * To pardon an offense; to stop seeking punishment or recompense Here, I am going to focus on the first meaning, which is broad enough to include situations where you have not let someone off the hook morally or legally, but you still want to come to peace about whatever happened. Finding forgiveness can walk hand in hand with pursuing justice.ARTArticleAre You Stressed or Upset?There I was recently, standing in the shower, my mind darting in different directions about projects in process, frazzled about little tasks backing up, uneasy about a tax record from 2010 we couldn't find, feeling irritated about being irritable, hurrying to get to work, body keyed up, internal sense of pressure.ARTArticleBe Proactive About Your Healthcare; Breast Cancer AwarenessA friend sent an amazing story to share, in which she describes trusting her gut feelings in regard to breast cancer and her health care. It is another testimony to the importance of being proactive, honoring your instincts rather than acting on impulse out of fear. The month of October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Her story lends support to many women including me at high risk and those who have been diagnosed and are undergoing treatment for various stages of breast cancer.ARTArticleBusy, Busy?This practice is definitely a case of teaching what you need to learn: I've been working through a big bucket of tasks lately with little chance to rest. (I console myself with knowing that the bucket is emptying a lot faster than it's filling with new tasks.)ARTArticleCan You Stay Open To The Pain Of Others?Humans are an empathic, compassionate, and loving species, so it is natural to feel sad, worried, or fiery about the troubles and pain of other people. (And about those of cats and dogs and other animals, but I'll focus on human beings here.) Long ago, the Buddha spoke of the "first dart" of unavoidable physical pain. Given our hardwired nature as social beings, when those we care about are threatened or suffer, there is another kind of first dart: unavoidable emotional pain.ARTArticleChanging PTSD Raiment With The Seasons Of LifeWhat we with PTSD need to consider for healing is a seasonal, changing strategy. Without a constant attention to where we are, our progress becomes a tragedy! The things like protective mechanisms may no longer be advantageous. Those emotions of anger, and fear prevented us from becoming courageous. Part of our emotional, self-overhaul comes from our internal perspective, too. Perhaps, we may feel we have gotten on in age for a dream to come true. This proliferates becoming bitter, and jealous of other people’s accomplishments.r ARTArticleComparanoia Slaves!Those of us who need to look good for the approval of others gauge how we’re doing by comparing ourselves to others. We compare ourselves to our friends, family members, peers, colleagues, coworkers, and to perfect strangers. And before we know it comparison to others becomes our constant companion. This comparison can manifest in one of two ways. The first kind of comparison is “looking up” and feeling beneath, not as good as, the objects of comparison. The second kind of comparison is “looking down” on others to make yourself feel better than, higher than, and above others.ARTArticleCould it crack?The truth of anything is like a mosaic with many tiles, many parts. One part of the truth of things is that they are robust and enduring, whether it's El Capitan in Yosemite or the love of a child for her mother and father.ARTArticleCouple Communication: Can You Really Not Communicate?I often hear couples complain that they cannot talk about anything. Does that really happen? Think about what would happen in your relationship if you really, literally could not talk to your spouse--about anything. How would you exchange information about work, daily routines, groceries and other products needed, bills to be paid, etc., if you literally could not communicate. Living in a house with another person takes a certain amount of cooperation and teamwork.ARTArticleCouple Communication: How to De-escalate A DiscussionMany couples get into a dysfunctional pattern of conflict escalation and withdrawal as they attempt to discuss the problems and issues in their life. Each unsuccessful attempt to solve the identified problem sets the tone for the next time that they attempt to resolve the issue. Unresolved issues tend to be self-perpetuating and can persist over decades. A common pattern is where a couple identifies some relationship issue or problem to discuss and starts talking. They begin to get upset, bring out the dirty fight tactics, and the argument is "on".ARTArticleDandelions and Daisies: A Self-AwakeningWhen I was a child, daisies and dandelions were my favorite flowers. We lived on a dead end street that ran between the sprinkled lawns of our duplex, and the mod Edsel dealership that lined its shiny, fancy, cars in a row. The pavement was dressed with seismic cracks and yellow dandelions peeking up toward the sky. I remember I would walk to the edge of the pavement, bent from the waist, arms stretched out behind me. Then leaned forward, made a big O with my mouth, drew a gust of air through my lungs and blew out a 'puff' ball.ARTArticleDeafness in Teens Caused by Loud MusicAnywhere you go these days; it is common to see people with music players like iphones blasting music into their ears. In fact, it seems like those of us who choose to listen to the world going on around us are becoming an anomaly. A report in The Hindu reports that teenage deafness is rising at alarming rates. For the full report please copy and paste this link into your URL bar when you have finished reading my blog. http://www.thehindu.com/health/policy-and-issues/article579504.ecernr ARTArticleDissolve Your Chronic Pain with Open FocusAre you suffering in pain? Is your pain long lasting or chronic? Do you lose sleep because your pain is so intense that you cannot easily drift off to sleep? Are you avoiding certain activities due to your pain? Is your pain negatively affecting your mood or emotional state? Would you like to know or learn how you can reduce or dissolve your chronic pain?ARTArticleDo you believe in love?Take a breath right now, and notice how abundant the air is, full of life-giving oxygen offered freely by trees and other green growing things. You can't see air, but it's always available for you. Love is a lot like the air. It may be hard to see - but it's in you and all around you.ARTArticleDo You Care?Compassion is essentially the wish that beings not suffer - from subtle physical and emotional discomfort to agony and anguish - combined with feelings of sympathetic concern. You could have compassion for an individual (a friend in the hospital, a co-worker passed over for a promotion), groups of people (victims of crime, those displaced by a hurricane, refugee children), animals (your pet, livestock heading for the slaughterhouse), and yourself.ARTArticleDon't Give All Your Water Away!Are you someone who would give all your water away to take care of someone else? What takes place when you give all your water away? What do you do when you’re in need of water to keep yourself hydrated and you don’t have any water left because you gave it all away? Since you don’t have any left for yourself you go without and so do those to whom you’ve been giving all your water. No one has any water now, do they? You become dehydrated and have no energy to fill up the water bottle so everyone goes without.r ARTArticleDown Deep, Do You Feel At Ease?I've always liked lizards. Growing up in the outskirts of Los Angeles, I played in the foothills near our home. Sometimes I'd catch a lizard and stroke its belly, so it would relax in my hands, seeming to feel at ease.ARTArticleExecutive In Life (Part One)Executive In Life (Part One) In your life, you are the Executive involved, or maybe not. If you are feeling challenged, fulfilled and in balance between your personal, work, family, and relationships; if you are feeling fulfillment from all of your efforts, then you are, indeed, the executive of your life. For you, your personal power of control to make life happen is paramount. For you, your feeling good about your self-involvement is directly proportional to the mental health skills you apply. When faced with conflict, you embrace your self-efficacy to make change happen.r

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