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ARTArticleWhat Are You Learning?My dad grew up on a ranch in North Dakota. He has a saying from his childhood - you may have heard it elsewhere - that's: "You learn more by listening than by talking."
Sure, we often gain by thinking out loud, including discovering our truth by speaking it. But on the whole, listening brings lots more valuable information than talking does.ARTArticleWhat Are Your Intentions Toward Others?Benevolence is a fancy word that means something simple: good intentions toward living beings, including oneself.ARTArticleWhat Could You Offer?What could you offer?
The Practice:
Make the offering.
Why?ARTArticleWhat Do Others Give You?Each Thanksgiving holiday, we are reminded to be thankful. When times are tough, finding reasons to be thankful may be challenging or even seem inappropriate or impossible. This year, before we sit around the dinner table, let's think about the myriad benefits to saying thanks, and how to truly savor the opportunity, no matter what.
What do you feel when someone thanks you for something? For a comment in a meeting, a task done at home, an extra step taken, an encouraging word.ARTArticleWhat Do Their Faces Say To You?As our ancestors evolved over millions of years in small bands, continually interacting and working with each other, it was vitally important to communicate in hundreds of ways each day. They shared information about exte
al "carrots" and "sticks," and about their internal experience (e.g., intentions, sexual interest, inclination toward aggression) through gestures, vocalizations - and facial expressions. Much as we developed uniquely complex language, we also evolved the most expressive face in the entire animal kingdom.ARTArticleWhat Do You Need?I usually describe a practice as something to do: get on your own side, see the being behind the eyes, take in the good, etc. This practice is different: it's something to recognize. From this recognition, appropriate action will follow. Let me explain.
Some years ago I was invited to give a keynote at a conference with the largest audience I'd ever faced. It was a big step up for me. Legendary psychologists were giving the other talks, and I feared I wouldn't measure up. I was nervous. Real nervous.ARTArticleWhat do you notice in people?Many interactions these days have a kind of bumper-car quality to them. At work, at home, on the telephone, via email: we sort of bounce off of each other while we exchange information, smile or frown, and move on. How often do we actually take the extra few seconds to get a sense of what's inside other people - especially their good qualities?ARTArticleWhat Do You Want?Getting caught up in wanting - wanting both to get what's pleasant and to avoid what's unpleasant - is a major source of suffering and harm for oneself and others.
First, a lot of what we want to get comes with a big price tag - such as that second cupcake, constant stimulation via TV and websites, lashing out in anger, intoxication, over-working, or manipulating others to get approval or love. On a larger scale, the consumer-based lifestyle widespread in Western nations leads them to eat up - often literally - a huge portion of the world's resources.ARTArticleWhat Does Food Mean to You?Food can be many things to many people. Obviously we all need it to survive. But, also obviously, we eat for a lot of different reasons. We eat when we are being social. We eat when we are bored. We eat to stuff our emotions. We eat when we do not know what else to do. I get this wonderful magazine all about healthy eating. When I sit down and read it, I always have munchies with me. If I see food, I want food.rARTArticleWhat gets you stuck?Have you ever watched two people quarrel, or otherwise be stuck in a conflict with each other? Usually, if either or both of them simply acknowledged one or more things, that would end the fight.ARTArticleWhat Happens When You Look At Someone?When we encounter someone, usually the mind automatically slots the person into a category: man, woman, your friend Tom, the kid next door, etc. Watch this happen in your own mind as you meet or talk with a co-worker, salesclerk, or family member.ARTArticleWhat is an open heart?We all know people who are, ah, . . . challenging. It could be a critical parent, a bossy supervisor, a relative who has you walking on eggshells, a nice but flaky friend, a co-worker who just doesn't like you, a partner who won't keep his or her agreements, or a politician you dislike. Right now I'm thinking of a neighbor who refused to pay his share of a fence between us.
As Jean-Paul Sartre put it: "Hell is other people."
Sure, that's overstated. But still, most of a person's hurts, disappointments, and irritations typically arise in reactions to other people.ARTArticleWhat is Living You?In every moment, you and I and everyone and everything else - from quantum foam to fleeting thoughts, intimate relationships, rainforest ecosystems, and the stars themselves - are each a kind of standing wave, like the ever-changing though persistent pattern of water rising above a boulder in a river.
We are the result of multiple causes flowing through us. As Buckminster Fuller famously said, "I seem to be a verb."ARTArticleWhat Is the NHS?To answer this question fully would require several extremely large volumes of written material including analysis and data as to the development of the health service in the UK. The point of the question, what is the NHS, is actually to provide a bit of background to the broader question of health insurance and health insurance costs, and who effectively pays for whatever type of health service is available where you live.ARTArticleWhat makes a criminal want to be a criminal?Imagine yourself sitting in a movie theater chair with a tall bucket of butter popco
and big cup of ice-cold Coca Cola, maybe stealing a nacho or two with your sister or friend next to you, chatting away about your day’s events – who sent you an email or a text or whatever makes you happy. You might be at Carmike Hickory 8 Theater in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, watching “Mad Max: Fury Road,” or in the Lafayette Louisiana Theater laughing at a comedy “Train wreck.” Maybe at the Aurora Theater in Aurora, Colorado, taking in “The Dark Knight Rises.” You are being targeted by a killer.ARTArticleWhat makes you feel threatened?On a previous blog at the Huffington Post, I used the example of Stephen Colbert's satirical "March to Keep Fear Alive" as a timely illustration of a larger point: humans evolved to be fearful - since that helped keep our ancestors alive - so we are very vulnerable to being frightened and even intimidated by threats, both real ones and "paper tigers." With his march, Colbert was obviously mocking those who play on fear, since we certainly don't need any new reminders to keep fear alive.ARTArticleWhat Matters Most To You?In every life, reminders arrive about what's really important.ARTArticleWhat Puts People at Ease?We evolved to be afraid.
The ancient ancestors that were casual and blithely hopeful, underestimating the risks around them - predators, loss of food, aggression from others of their kind - did not pass on their genes. But the ones that were nervous were very successful - and we are their great-grandchildren, sitting atop the food chain.ARTArticleWhat Would Make a Difference Inside You?We all have issues - including demands upon us, stresses, illnesses, losses, vulnerabilities, and pain. (As Alan Watts put it: "Life is wiggly.") Of course, many of our issues - in the broad sense I'm using the word here - are related to important sources of fulfillment, such as starting a business or raising a family; still, there's some kind of challenge.ARTArticleWhat You Don't Know, You Don't KnowExactly what does “what you don’t know you don’t know” mean? To many, it might sound like a bunch of psychobabble, so let me explain the concept.
First, imagine all the knowledge that exists in the universe in the shape of a large pie, divided into five slices. Four of the slices are somewhat small, and one is larger than all of the others put together. I found a wonderful illustration of this idea at
www.thepieofknowledge.com/about.htmlARTArticleWhat's fundamental?In middle school, I thought it would be cool to play a musical instrument, and picked the clarinet. My wise parents rented one rather than buying it, and I started practicing. (In the garage because it sounded pretty screechy.) After a week or two of doing scales, I got bored and picked my way through a couple easy songs. But after a few more weeks, I couldn't go further because I hadn't laid a foundation with scales and similar exercises - so I quit in frustration. To this day, I regret never learning to play a musical instrument.ARTArticleWhat's in Your Heart to Say?It's been said that the most powerful tool for physical health is a fork (or spoon), since the choices you make with it determine the good or bad things you put into your body.ARTArticleWhat's in Your Mind?It's kind of amazing: right now, what you think and feel, enjoy and suffer, is changing your brain. The brain is the organ that learns, designed by evolution to be changed by our experiences: what scientists call experience-dependent neuroplasticity.
Neurons that fire together, wire together. This means that each one of us has the power to use the mind to change the brain to change the mind for the better. To benefit oneself and other beings.ARTArticleWhat's Left Out?When I look back on mistakes I've made - like dumping my anger on someone, making assumptions in haste, partying too much, losing my nerve, being afraid to speak from my heart - in all cases a part of me had taken over. You know what I mean. The parts of us that have a partial view, are driven by one aim, clamp down on other parts, really want to have a particular experience or to eat/drink/smoke a particular molecule, yammer away critically, or hold onto resentments toward others.ARTArticleWhat's The Most Important Thing?Have you heard this saying?
The most important thing is to remember the most important thing.
What are the most important things to you? In your life as a whole? During a particular interaction with someone? Right this minute?ARTArticleWhat's weighing you down?On the path of life, most of us are hauling way too much weight.
What's in your own backpack? If you're like most of us, you've got too many items on each day's To Do list and too much stuff in the closet. Too many entanglements with other people. And too many "shoulds," worries, guilts, and regrets.ARTArticleWhat's Your Heart Saying?One Christmas I hiked down into the Grand Canyon, whose bottom lay a vertical mile below the rim. Its walls were layered like a cake, and a foot-high stripe of red or gray rock indicated a million-plus years of erosion by the Colorado river. Think of water - so soft and gentle - gradually carving through the hardest stone to reveal great beauty. Sometimes what seems weakest is actually most powerful.ARTArticleWhat's Your Own Role?In situations or relationships with any kind of difficulty - tension, feeling hurt, conflicts, mismatches of wants . . . the usual crud - it's natural to focus on what others have done that's problematic.
This could be useful for a while: it can energize you, bring insight into what the real priorities are for you, and help you see more clearly what you'd like others to change.ARTArticleWhen Have People Been Caring?Everyone knows what it's like to care about someone. Remember being with a friend, a mate, a pet: you feel warmly connected, and want him or her not to suffer and to be happy.ARTArticleWhere Do You Live?As a kid, I was really out of touch with my body. I hardly noticed it most of the time, and when I did, I prodded it like a mule to do a better job of hauling "me" - the head - around.